Why will you Find Success?

“Let me tell you why I got involved.”

Shawn Milne

Why will you Find Success?

There are always turning points in life, moments when a current path is forever altered.  These are often defining moments that change who we think we are and often cause us to become more then we ever dreamed we could become.  I’ve found that most of the time a person can think back on their life and identify the exact moment of such a junction.  Doing so enables a person to learn perhaps the most important part of change.  Why.

Knowing why you’re on the path you’re on makes all of the difference.  And, I’ve generally observed that the why has to be something other than simple financial gain.  The most powerful whys have to do with connecting to something bigger than a person is, something that defines a purpose for a person’s life.

I was reminded of this as I completed a meeting and was taking about it as I walked out with my friend Shawn Milne.  He said, “Have I ever told you why I ran for office?”

I shook my head no and he continued.  “I had a problem in my neighborhood and the county wouldn’t help me.  So, I began to organize my neighbors and attend planning commission meetings.  I became so frustrated with what was happening that after months and months I decided I had to do something to make more of a difference.  I ran for office.”

I know there are things that have been difficult for him, as he has held public office.  But, his commitment to improve the lives of the members of our community has enabled him to continue his efforts.  I’ve seen the same thing with my friend Brad Bertoch.

Thirty years ago Brad began to work to “improve the human condition” by developing a not-for-profit company focused on assisting technology entrepreneurs to raise needed investment capital.  I’ve worked with him for the last twenty-four years and have seen him put all his heart into this effort.  If he didn’t deeply feel the why he was doing this, he would have given up long ago and our community would have forgone thousands of jobs and more than $1.5 billion dollars of investment.  Thank goodness he discovered his why.

Discovering your why will change your life in many ways.  It will sustain you when you have difficulties in business as well as your personal life.  Take time to discover what you really want to accomplish with your life, how you want to make a difference, so it can lead and sustain you through inevitable challenges on the way to your success.  It will do for you what it has done for the most successful people I know.  Why will you find success?

A Miracle in the Making

“Hey trouble maker!”

- Annie Butterfield

A Miracle in the Making

We have a new addition to our household!  His name is Merlin.  My daughter Annie has been searching for the right dog to bring home for a long time.  She was thrilled when she finally found him and that’s when I had “the conversation” with her.

The conversation goes something like this:  “You know that this is your dog and you will be responsible to take care of him.” I said.

“I know.” Was her reply.

As you know, saying you know, before you have experience simply means you don’t have the experience to really know!  Really knowing can only come from experience.  And, responsibility-based relationship experience also provides at least two intertwined life-changers.

Annie brought her little puppy home and I wondered how she would feel about him when she had to begin performing her first life-changer, personal service.  That is, she has to clean up his messes, take him out in the middle of the night, feed and groom him, etc.   In this instance, I was thrilled as I was talking with her today and heard her say, “Isn’t he is the cutest thing ever?”  And, that leads me the second life changer.

In less than two weeks Annie also said, “You’ll never break my heart will you Merlin?” Responsibility-based relationship experience causes us to experience the deepest kind of love a person can possess.  You and I have seen many examples of this, but one of the most touching example from my own life is that of Evan Hansen and his wife.

Evan was a senior chemist at a large company on the East Coast with a thriving career when his wife was diagnosed with a horrible, debilitating disease.  When they received the news, he made the decision to quit his job and move to Richfield, UT so their cost of living would be reduced to the point where he could spend the bulk of his time caring for her.  When they arrived he was able to secure a job that would enable them to live humbly and care for her at the same time.  This job turned into the avenue that would allow us to be introduced.

On multiple business-related lunch or dinner occasions I had the great fortune to sit at the same table as Evan and his wife, where I observed the exact same ritual between them.  Their food would arrive at the table and Evan would push his food aside and scoot his chair up close to his sweetheart’s wheel chair so he could feed her.  You see, she no longer had the use of her arms and hands and she could no longer speak.  So, he would gently use her utensils to painstakingly feed her one spoonful or forkful at a time until she was full.  He would never eat his own food until she was finished.  It is the greatest demonstration of devoted love I have ever witnessed!

Now I am witnessing the same type of miracle all over again as I watch Annie take care of her little puppy.  Her love for him grows deeper with each act of service she provides for him.  It is a miracle in the making.

Every one of us can experience the joy that comes from responsibility-based love.  Would you like to be a miracle in the making?

Influential Things

“We were just talking about the influential things in our lives.”

- Jessi Butterfield

Influential Things

I had been fishing in Dana Point two days ago using sardines as bait.  Now I am sitting in LAX with lots of other people feeling like a sardine myself.  I felt lucky to find a seat while I waited in the commotion and as I began to settle in, my phone rang. I looked at the called I.D. and recognized my daughter’s number.

“We were just talking about the influential things in our lives.”  Jessi said.   “I told Ren what you always said to us about life not being fair.  I’ll put you on speakerphone so you can tell him . . . O.K. go ahead.”

“Ren.  Life is not fair, so don’t expect it to be.”  I replied.

“I told Ren that you would say that every time I would be upset and say ‘It’s not fair.’”  She continued.

“It seems as if you have it imprinted in your mind.” Said I.

“Yes.  It is one of the most influential things of my life.”  She confirmed as our conversation was ending.

The call was finished and I questioningly looked at all of the people surrounding me, wondering what had been an important influence in their lives.  Then I remembered something that had happened just a few minutes earlier on the Hertz shuttle to the airport. 

A young couple from another country had told the driver that they were on Hawaiian Airlines in broken English.  When he got to that stop he helped them unload their heavy bags and was ready to pull away from the curb when he stopped.  There was no one else at the terminal stop.  He parked the shuttle again, opened the door and spent a couple of minutes talking with them.  When the conversation ended, he helped them pick up their bags and they all got back on the shuttle.

I watched the other passengers as all of this unfolded.  Not one person grumbled!

We drove on.  After two more stops the driver yelled out, “American Airlines.”  He pulled over; walked toward the back and helped the same couple unload their bags.  He pointed to the check-in portal and wished them well.  We drove on to my terminal.

Now I’m sitting in that same terminal thinking about life influencers and the Hertz shuttle driver is on the top of my list.  He has no way of knowing it; perhaps the most influential moments in our lives are also some of the most seemingly inconsequential moments; little words of advice or small acts of kindness.  If that’s the case, then shouldn’t we all concentrate on offering others more goodness through the seemingly inconsequential?

Selfless Pursuit of Happiness

“Even though it doesn’t directly affect me, I want to help.”

Marv Shafer

Selfless Pursuit of Happiness

You know that I write about living an abundant life a lot.  But, there are also destructive forces of abundance that can set in, when integrity starts to falter and cooperation gives way to selfish pursuits.  That happens when a person’s focus is almost exclusively on accumulating more and more without a sense as to what they want to do with their surplus, in what ever form it takes.  There was a time not long ago when I believed that our national culture had almost completely succumbed to destructive abundance, but recent events in my own neighborhood have shown me that selfless pursuits still define the people I live with.

You and I often identify with a culture, we articulate our belonging to a group and align ourselves with a shared set of values and beliefs.  It’s a way of defining ourselves.  For example, you may say, I am an American or I am a salesman.  But, have you ever thought about your belonging and identification as a neighbor?

My friend Marv Shafer called me a few days ago to speak with me about our neighborhood and showed me that the term neighborhood isn’t just a geographic description of a place to live.  Living in a neighborhood means that the residents have all come together to “fit” a particular type of culture.  Being a neighbor means something about the kind of people we are.

“Even though it doesn’t directly affect me, I want to help.” Marv said as we talked.

His words revealed the kind of person he is.  I was proud of our association, as neighbors, and he reminded me that character describes how an individual thinks, acts and interacts.  Neighborhood character is established through the interactions of the people and how they think and act as a collective.  A neighborhood of strong character will have a culture that promotes treating all people well.  When that happens the people in the neighborhood feel protected and know that their neighbors “have their backs.”

So, I thought you and I could assess how we “feel” about our own neighborhoods and what kind of work we’re doing there.  Can we change the culture of our neighborhoods from a “bedroom community” to a place where people love to live and share their lives?  The answer is a firm yes!  You and I are the leaders who decide what kind of environment we want to build.  Here’s how we can do it.

First, build an “inner circle” of neighbors that are close to you.  Give your time and resources to make a difference, one person at a time.  My friend Shelly Dahl takes the time to go door to door to meet face to face with her neighbors to show how much she cares about the issues they face in common.  Inner circles can only form with people who can see and feel each other.  This kind of trust can never be created over a telephone or other electronic communication.  As humans, we need to be able to have the full relationship experience of looking another person in the eye and shaking their hand.  This creates relationships where people will put the interests of their neighbors before their own.

My friend Mark Jackson expressed his deep appreciation for his neighbor who lent him his lawnmower for more than a month while his own was involved in a lengthy repair.  “I’ll never forget it!” He said.

Second, make sure that respect and empathy are valued over wealth, title or skill.  You and I can reinforce and encourage these traits by the way we treat our neighbors as we work to expand our circle of trust.  When I first moved into my neighborhood Traci Randall knocked on my front door and handed me a plate of just baked brownies to welcome us into the neighborhood.  She didn’t know anything about us.  She simply showed us respect by coming and empathy for our ordeal of having just moved.

Finally, recognize that if you live in a “bad” neighborhood it can be changed through good leadership.  You are the leader your neighbors have been looking for.  Don’t gamble that your neighbors “will do the right thing.”  It’s not your neighbors who will set the course if you will assume your leadership role.

If there is an air of suspicion and mistrust with your neighbors, become the example of trust they need.  Sharing is the solution.  Show everyone you live with that you’re willing to share yourself with them.  Great neighbors are the result of collaboration and sharing.  Selfless Pursuit is sharing your ideas and comfortably giving yourself to your neighbors so everyone’s life can be a Selfless Pursuit of Happiness.

Being Part of the Human Puzzle

“Differing points of view.”

Being Part of the Human Puzzle

You know what a puzzle is.  I think most of us have put a puzzle together at one time or another.  When my children were young they loved going to visit their grandparents and would sit for hours putting puzzles together.  It wasn’t that their “Grands” had a large assortment of puzzles, but my kids liked taking the pieces and forming a picture with them; even if they had completed the puzzle hundreds of times they still felt a sense of satisfaction from taking small pieces and placing them in a position to create a beautiful picture.  Now that my children are grown they face the same puzzle of being human that all of us face.

All people exist as individual pieces of the great Human Being Puzzle.  I am one and I am also always one of many.  This creates some very interesting conflicts of interest in our lives.  It forces us to make decisions; we constantly have to weigh the benefits to us personally against the benefits to those we share our lives with.  These choices are often mutually exclusive; what is good for me isn’t necessarily good for the other.  This can cause anxiety and can weigh heavily upon our individual consciences as we make decisions.  Such was the case for me in dealing with one of my neighbors recently.

I live in a community governed by restrictive covenants.  These are rules that all of the property owners in the community have agreed to uphold and live by when they purchase their property.  I have a new neighbor who recently purchased the home next to me.  They bought the property for a particular purpose not allowed by the covenants and began to work with the County to get a “conditional use” approval to do so.  Since their purpose is opposed to what is allowed in the covenants, and my best interest, I had a choice to make.

If I did not voice my opposition I would remain on friendly terms with them.  If I became a voice of resistance to their plan I would most likely destroy our good relations forever.  It was a very difficult choice for me!  I finally had to break down the problem into small “puzzle” pieces so I could see what the whole picture would look like with each decision.  In the end, I learned that there are lots of ways to put individual pieces together and that the larger picture can be changed based on the pieces we select!

That’s much different from being able to look at the outside of a box and then finding the pieces that fit together to form that picture!  It is a much more challenging process and, it also offers a wonderful opportunity.

It means that as each person learns and grows in the process of putting their Human Being Puzzle together they can create differing and ever changing outcomes!  In the challenge faced with my neighbor I learned that I could look out for my own best interest as well as the best interest of lots of other people.  In the end, lots of people aligned their personal pieces for a similarly shared vision.  It’s true that there is one piece missing, but in a huge picture one small piece won’t ruin the whole depiction!  Sad to be sure, but as I’ve lived, I’ve learned that everyone will not always agree about everything.

Disagreement doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  If you use it as a way to expand our view of the world it will be a great benefit to us; we will see things we would never otherwise see and become more than we would have been.  I like to think of disagreement as a mechanism for creating a never-ending supply of puzzle pieces that will help me create new masterpieces with others.  Viewing it in this way removes lots of conscience stretching stress.  It doesn’t mean I have to believe or accept every other point of view offered to me.  But, it does mean that I give others the chance to deliver their message to me.  In the end, you and I get to choose what pieces of the puzzle we keep and use and which ones we will throw away.

You and I have completed hundreds of puzzles during our lives and we can still feel joy and satisfaction from taking small pieces and placing them in a position to create a beautiful picture.  There are millions of new masterpieces yet to be created.  Use your piece in combination with others to build lives of beauty.

Choosing a Filter for Your Lens on Life

“I’ve made it a practice to take time each day to contemplate what I’ve done well.” – Jessi Butterfield

Choosing a Filter for Your Lens on Life

My wife is a sports photographer.  She understands things such as when to use a different lens in order to get just the right picture for her purposes.  She also knows how to use a filter to create different looks for her finished product.  Her knowledge and application pave the way for her success.

Our daughter Jessi recently talked with me about using a carefully applied filter to the lens of life to in order to simplify personal success.  “I’ve made it a practice to take time each day to contemplate what I’ve done well.  It allows me to focus on what I’ve accomplished rather than feeling as if I never do anything well enough” She explained.

As I listened to what she was saying I remembered my friend Henry and what he once told me.  “I made it a practice to focus on the little miracles that happened for me and my family at the end of each week.  When I did so, I soon began to see wonder at every turn.  It allowed me to show my children that if they looked at the world in this way, they would have confidence that good things would happen to and for them on a daily basis.  It is this confidence that has helped us to face challenges together and personally, knowing that good will prevail in the end.”

Do you have a firm belief that good will prevail in your life?  Here are some small steps you can take to foster such a belief for yourself.

First, determine what you want to see in the world.  Jessi wants to see the things she has done well every day.  Henry wants to see the little miracles that have made a difference for him and his family each week.  What lens and filter would have the biggest impact on you?

Second, schedule a regular time to ponder what you’ve seen.  Henry and I have found that a weekly self-appointment works well for us.  Jessi has found that a daily appointment keeps her focused and feeling good.  You might want to try a couple of different intervals to see what works best for you.

Third, make sure to write down what you’ve seen.  Not taking the time to write has the same effect as a photographer taking time to set up her shot, looking through the lens as if she is going to record the event and then not clicking the button on the camera to memorialize the picture.  If you do this, you will never have your life’s art to look back to for strength and admiration.  My friend Kristin talked with me a couple of days ago about her review of just such a piece.  It brought everything right back to the present for her and allowed her to feel the warmth of it again, as if it had just occurred.

Finally.  Make sure you put your experiences in a place where others can learn from you.  You may not think it will make a difference for anyone else, but what if you could change the life of just one person?

I walk through my house and see the changes in my life and the lives of our children and furry family too.  My wife’s photographs are everywhere. Now you and I can use the same techniques to choose a filter on the lens of our lives.  We can begin to look for what ever we want to focus on so we can record the power, wonder and majesty of our lives.

Choose your lens and filter today. See what kind of beautiful art your life is and will become.

Casting Your Web

“It is the company we keep, the people around us, who will determine where we invest our energy.  The more we trust that the people to the left of us and the people to the right of us have our backs, the better equipped we are to face the constant threats from the outside together.” – Simon Sinek

Casting Your Web

The sun was hanging toward the Western sky.  It was bright and angled in a particular way.  And, that particular way allowed me to see something I had never seen before as I mowed my lawn.

My eyes caught the glimmer of thousands of shining strings stretching out across all the uncut grass.  The intricate pattern extended over acres of blades reaching toward the sun.  It was the perfect picture of network web casting.

One spider could not have possibly completed all of the strands I saw.  They were completed in one week’s time. 

When I cut the grass the webs disappeared.   But, the spiders that created them did not.  The strands, while appearing to be a network, were not the network.  They were simply the expression, evidence, of the work completed by the cooperative spiders.

Over the next few days I took a little bit of time each evening to watch for strands to reappear.  And they did!  The network was still in place casting its web so its expression continued. 

The hundreds of spiders living and working together in my lawn are tiny things; so tiny in fact they can’t be seen without getting down on hands and knees while carefully observing the spaces between blades of grass.  From one perspective they are so small as to be insignificant, unable to accomplish much at all.  But when viewed from the right perspective, when the sun is angled from the Western sky, the true extent of their ingenuity, individual significance and the majesty of their network are revealed.  They create a massive body of work that encompasses both beauty and function, something of significance!

You and I can learn from them.  Simon Sinek says, “It is the company we keep, the people around us, who will determine where we invest our energy.  The more we trust that the people to the left of us and the people to the right of us have our backs, the better equipped we are to face the constant threats from the outside together.”

He’s right!  There are times when you and I feel small, tiny, and as if we are so individually insignificant that we can’t make a difference.  But, if we will simply connect to like-purposed individuals we can accomplish impactful work that will encompass beauty, function and consequence.  Cast your web in cooperation with others today and find increased companionship, health, happiness and fulfillment.

Being a Hero From Inside, Out

“Matt Speers & India Company, 3^rd Battalion, 7^th Marine Regiment”

Being a Hero From Inside, Out

I now have a photo sitting on my desk.  There are almost two hundred men in the photo and I don’t know any of them, except one.  It is there to remind me.

It is a photo of heroes and it reminds me of what a hero is on the inside. If you were to ask any one of them if they are a hero, they would respond just as my friend, Captain Matt Speers does. 

“I’m not a hero.  But, I know some.  I can tell you about them!”

Matt and I sat in a small Starbucks this week in Park City so we could catch up.  We hadn’t seen each other for a little over one year.  He had been deployed to Afghanistan again! It was a huge relief for me to hear from him and to see that he was as fit as ever.

Matt holds his responsibility to keep his men fit and safe, India Company, as a solemn duty.

“I loved being able to train them in 29 Palms.”  He said.  “There isn’t anything else for them to do, so they just focus on training.”

I listened to Matt tell me of his work and how he works with his men.  Then I asked him a hard question, a question I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to.

“Did you lose any men this time?”

“No.  We were blessed.  But I’ve lost men before.  I tell my men that the best way to thank their brother for sacrificing a body part or their life for them is to go forward and live a life of honor!”

That’s why I have the picture on my desk!  These are men who don’t even know me and yet they are willing to sacrifice parts of their body or even their lives for my benefit; for your benefit.  So, I am taking my hero’s advice.

I am concentrating on moving forward and living a life of honor so I can honor all my heroes of India Company, 3^rd Battalion, 7^th Marine Regiment.

What token will you use to inspire you to live the life of a hero from the inside?