Why will you Find Success?

“Let me tell you why I got involved.”

Shawn Milne

Why will you Find Success?

There are always turning points in life, moments when a current path is forever altered.  These are often defining moments that change who we think we are and often cause us to become more then we ever dreamed we could become.  I’ve found that most of the time a person can think back on their life and identify the exact moment of such a junction.  Doing so enables a person to learn perhaps the most important part of change.  Why.

Knowing why you’re on the path you’re on makes all of the difference.  And, I’ve generally observed that the why has to be something other than simple financial gain.  The most powerful whys have to do with connecting to something bigger than a person is, something that defines a purpose for a person’s life.

I was reminded of this as I completed a meeting and was taking about it as I walked out with my friend Shawn Milne.  He said, “Have I ever told you why I ran for office?”

I shook my head no and he continued.  “I had a problem in my neighborhood and the county wouldn’t help me.  So, I began to organize my neighbors and attend planning commission meetings.  I became so frustrated with what was happening that after months and months I decided I had to do something to make more of a difference.  I ran for office.”

I know there are things that have been difficult for him, as he has held public office.  But, his commitment to improve the lives of the members of our community has enabled him to continue his efforts.  I’ve seen the same thing with my friend Brad Bertoch.

Thirty years ago Brad began to work to “improve the human condition” by developing a not-for-profit company focused on assisting technology entrepreneurs to raise needed investment capital.  I’ve worked with him for the last twenty-four years and have seen him put all his heart into this effort.  If he didn’t deeply feel the why he was doing this, he would have given up long ago and our community would have forgone thousands of jobs and more than $1.5 billion dollars of investment.  Thank goodness he discovered his why.

Discovering your why will change your life in many ways.  It will sustain you when you have difficulties in business as well as your personal life.  Take time to discover what you really want to accomplish with your life, how you want to make a difference, so it can lead and sustain you through inevitable challenges on the way to your success.  It will do for you what it has done for the most successful people I know.  Why will you find success?

Being Part of the Human Puzzle

“Differing points of view.”

Being Part of the Human Puzzle

You know what a puzzle is.  I think most of us have put a puzzle together at one time or another.  When my children were young they loved going to visit their grandparents and would sit for hours putting puzzles together.  It wasn’t that their “Grands” had a large assortment of puzzles, but my kids liked taking the pieces and forming a picture with them; even if they had completed the puzzle hundreds of times they still felt a sense of satisfaction from taking small pieces and placing them in a position to create a beautiful picture.  Now that my children are grown they face the same puzzle of being human that all of us face.

All people exist as individual pieces of the great Human Being Puzzle.  I am one and I am also always one of many.  This creates some very interesting conflicts of interest in our lives.  It forces us to make decisions; we constantly have to weigh the benefits to us personally against the benefits to those we share our lives with.  These choices are often mutually exclusive; what is good for me isn’t necessarily good for the other.  This can cause anxiety and can weigh heavily upon our individual consciences as we make decisions.  Such was the case for me in dealing with one of my neighbors recently.

I live in a community governed by restrictive covenants.  These are rules that all of the property owners in the community have agreed to uphold and live by when they purchase their property.  I have a new neighbor who recently purchased the home next to me.  They bought the property for a particular purpose not allowed by the covenants and began to work with the County to get a “conditional use” approval to do so.  Since their purpose is opposed to what is allowed in the covenants, and my best interest, I had a choice to make.

If I did not voice my opposition I would remain on friendly terms with them.  If I became a voice of resistance to their plan I would most likely destroy our good relations forever.  It was a very difficult choice for me!  I finally had to break down the problem into small “puzzle” pieces so I could see what the whole picture would look like with each decision.  In the end, I learned that there are lots of ways to put individual pieces together and that the larger picture can be changed based on the pieces we select!

That’s much different from being able to look at the outside of a box and then finding the pieces that fit together to form that picture!  It is a much more challenging process and, it also offers a wonderful opportunity.

It means that as each person learns and grows in the process of putting their Human Being Puzzle together they can create differing and ever changing outcomes!  In the challenge faced with my neighbor I learned that I could look out for my own best interest as well as the best interest of lots of other people.  In the end, lots of people aligned their personal pieces for a similarly shared vision.  It’s true that there is one piece missing, but in a huge picture one small piece won’t ruin the whole depiction!  Sad to be sure, but as I’ve lived, I’ve learned that everyone will not always agree about everything.

Disagreement doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  If you use it as a way to expand our view of the world it will be a great benefit to us; we will see things we would never otherwise see and become more than we would have been.  I like to think of disagreement as a mechanism for creating a never-ending supply of puzzle pieces that will help me create new masterpieces with others.  Viewing it in this way removes lots of conscience stretching stress.  It doesn’t mean I have to believe or accept every other point of view offered to me.  But, it does mean that I give others the chance to deliver their message to me.  In the end, you and I get to choose what pieces of the puzzle we keep and use and which ones we will throw away.

You and I have completed hundreds of puzzles during our lives and we can still feel joy and satisfaction from taking small pieces and placing them in a position to create a beautiful picture.  There are millions of new masterpieces yet to be created.  Use your piece in combination with others to build lives of beauty.

Becomming Someone Special

“Do you think I’m talented enough?”

-       Annie Butterfield

Becoming Someone Special

Driving with other people in the car provides an opportunity to think and to have some wonderful conversations.  I make it my practice to spend most of my drive time without any distraction.  Yes.  It makes my family crazy to ride with me because most of the time the radio and other entertainment devices are in the off position.  When they ask why I do that to myself my reply is always the same.

“How can you tell what you think if you always have someone else in your ear giving you suggestions?”

So, three of us were driving the other day when my daughter, Annie, asked me if I thought she was talented enough.  I was taken aback because she is one of the most intelligent, talented people I know.  Still, I told her so and reminded her of another significant partner of talent.  Work!

When I was an undergraduate at the University of Utah I was cruising along very well until I ran in to one particular professor in my major field of study.  He was difficult to be sure, but I wasn’t worried.  I should have been!

I’ll never forget the first class I had with him.  The class started in a large room filled with more than fifty students.  He handed out the course syllabus and spent our first session going through the massive amount of work verbally.  I could hear gasps from other students as the presentation progressed.  The session ended and we all went our separate ways.

The next day we met again in the same room.  The professor walked into the room and then made an audible count. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!  “That’s about right!  Let’s walk down the hall and continue in our conference room.”

Those of us who stayed had a great learning opportunity and we worked hard.  But, my greatest moment of learning had nothing to do with the course material.  After our first exam the professor asked me to come to meet with him in his office where we sat down and talked for a few minutes.

“Up until this moment,” He said, “you’ve been getting along on your talent alone.  But, I’m not going to let you do that any more!  It doesn’t matter what the rest of the class is doing.  I’m going to make sure you learn to work!  Talent isn’t enough.  To really become someone special you have to work!”

Work I did!  I had never worked like he made me in my life.  It was hard.  But, I learned so much from him that when I had the opportunity to have him be the chairman my committee in graduate school I snapped it up. 

To be honest, he worked me so hard in graduate school I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.  But I did.  And, after I completed my degree he sat with me and we had another personal talk at the coffee shop.

“Congratulations.” He said.  “You’re one of three who have ever finished their degree with me as the chairman of their committee!  I washed all of the others out.  I don’t remember what point I knew you were going to be one of the ones that finished, but there was a time, fairly early on, I knew you were going to make it.  Now you have to decide what you want out of life, money or power.” (Money and power is another discussion.)

He really taught me that in order to get the most out of the individual talent each one of us has, we need to work hard at improving every day.  It is an individual journey that cannot be compared in detail because each person has a very distinctive, personalized path on which to walk.  But, the partnered principles of talent and work remain universal.  Use them in combination to your benefit.

Take time to examine your unique talents and abilities internally.  Make sure you search the deepest corners of your heart so you understand them as best you can.  Then, work with all your heart to develop your talents.  As you do, you’ll find new aspects of talent and personal strengths you didn’t comprehend before.  It will be a wonderful and challenging experience if you accept the call to become someone special; someone who has become the most they could make of themselves.

Living Inside Out

“The only change was on the exterior environment.  Don’t let that affect you.  Keep focused on your own work and goals.” – Randy Rigby

Living Inside Out

When I was a young boy I loved to listen to my father tell me stories.  His tales mesmerized me and I believed all of them.

One day my parents got a phone call from my teacher at school inviting my dad to come to my class and talk about being a bear hunter.  My parents were shocked!  I wasn’t.  After all, it was my dad who told me about a time when he was walking down a trail when a huge bear came up to him and roared.

“The bear walked up to me and stared me in the eye.  Then he let out a deafening roar!  Did I run?  No!  I reached down his throat, grabbed him by the tail and turned him inside out!”  My father told me with convincing theatrics.

I was surprised when my parents declined the teacher’s invitation to talk to my class about his exploits as a bear hunter.  It was only then that I came to know that this fantastic tale was only a story.  But, to this day, I believe the principle of living your life inside out is one of the most important values a person will ever internalize and it still challenges me to this day.

As a tween, I began to make up my own “tall tales” and loved to tell people stories.  Then, when I was in high school I became an extemporaneous speaker.  I viewed myself as the top ranked member of our team and won the regional championship.  But, when it was time to compete at the state tournament I wasn’t able to control my internal stress and made myself “sick” with worry.  In the end, I couldn’t compete because of this self-induced illness and my friend and teammate won the state championship.  He deserved to win.

I’ll never know if I could have won, because I let one small change in the presentation environment dictate whether or not I could perform, even though I had done the same thing over and over again in smaller venues and had been successful.  I couldn’t keep my interior self focused!

Randy Rigby once spoke to me about a conversation he had with an Olympic Athlete.  He said she told him that when she asked a coach what she needed to do to become an Olympian he said, “If I put a twenty foot long, four inch wide board on the floor can walk on it?”

“Yes.” She said.

“If I put the same board on the floor, can you run on it?”

“Yes.” She replied.

“If I put the same board on the floor, can you sprint on it?”

“Yes.  I can.” She answered.

“If I put the same board up in air between two buildings five-hundred feet in the air can you still sprint on it?”

“I’m not sure.”  She timidly responded.

“The only change was the exterior environment!  Don’t let that affect you.  Keep focused on your own work and goals.  That’s the difference between an athlete and an Olympic Athlete.”  He taught her.

The lesson is the same for every one of us.  I still sit and stew about things in my work and life that make me feel uncomfortable.  But, the difference between the High School me and the today me is that I’ve learned to break the scary things down in to simple steps.

First I see that the bear has walked up behind me.  I look him right in the eye and feel very afraid.  I want to die right there before he has a chance to eat me!  Then I say to myself. “Look, he’s opening his mouth.  But it isn’t to eat me!  He simply wants to scare me more, so I have time to do one small thing.  I can lift my arm up.  O.K.  I did that and I can see all the way down his throat!  I can thrust my arm down his throat!  O.K.  That worked and the bear is now gasping for air!  I think I can feel his tail with my fingers.  Yes!  I can grab his tail and pull him inside out!  Whew!  That bear didn’t eat me!  I did a good job!”

Now, that’s living life inside out!

You can live your life from the inside out by break your biggest challenges into small manageable pieces.  When you do, you’ll get better at managing the things that challenge you internally as well.

UnCowVentional

A cow drinking from a sprinkler head

UnCowVentional

I live in a desert so in order to keep my outside plants alive it is critical to have an irrigation system to give them water regularly.  People I know in other climates are generally surprised to know that irrigation systems are a needed part of life here.  They’re like all of us.  It’s real easy to get used to what you know and do the same things the other people around you do time and time again.  We all do it!  Sometimes, though, taking a different path can turn a regular life into an extraordinary life!

“Extraordinary! Look out there!” my wife said to me not long ago as we stood in our kitchen.  “That Steer is drinking out of the sprinklers just like our dog!  Have you ever seen a cow do that before?”

“No,” I said, as I looked out toward our South Field.

“He’s been doing it all day.  He’ll get a drink and then walk a little ways away to let the water spray him.”  She continued.

“He’s unconventional, that’s for sure.”  I said.

It reminded me of a conversation with one of my daughters earlier in the week.  She was telling me about her workweek and the amazing people she’d been working with when she made a most illuminating comment.

“When I think back about what I did to get here it’s amazing!” She mused.  “I didn’t know I was supposed to be afraid to venture out on my own, across the continent, and start anew in the greatest city in the world.  Had I known that, I would never have come here to establish my business.  All I knew was that this is where I wanted to be.  I knew it the first time I came here with you!  It’s made all the difference for me!”

She took a path that most others view as unconventional and she’s living with the rewards of such a life.  She loves her work, has built a successful business and is surrounded by some of the world’s most interesting people while she’s paid.  Not bad for a “girl just off the farm.”  She’s discovered: what is unconventional for one person is conventional or can become conventional for another.

My dog has always thought it conventional to drink directly from a hose or a sprinkler.  And, while I’ve never had a cow think so before, now I have one that does!  As a result, on most days, he doesn’t need to walk acre after acre to get a drink from a watering trough.   He simply walks a little bit, puts his mouth down and gets cool, fresh water, conveniently.  Then he lets the water spray him so he can cool the rest of his body.  He lives a great life!

All of us can live a greater life; one full of wonder and success if we’ll simply change things up a bit.  Try something that is conventional for someone else.  Size it up and see if it fits.  If it does, it will make your life just that much better.  Allow yourself to do the UnCowVentional everyday and see if it makes a difference.

Finding Satisfaction

“Two thousand pounds”

Finding Satisfaction

I looked across a large field and watched as about two thousand pounds of hair and flesh were pressing against a failing fence.  Funny how that kind of weight can damage even the strongest of barriers over time.  I dropped what I was doing and went to get some tools.

Once I was armed, with what I thought I needed, I walked through the grass to the damaged area.  By the time I got there the offender had moseyed away acting as if he had done nothing at all.  I stood and stared at the mangled wire.  Another two thousand pounder walked up to greet me.

He was standing right in front of me flashing innocent eyes while hoping to be stroked by my hand.  I reached out and obliged him for a moment only.  I had much to do and didn’t have a large fence repair on my schedule.  When I finished petting my friend, I reached out and tugged at the contorted wire.  It was at that moment that I knew the job in front of me was more than I was expecting.  I had to go get and use another tool.

One of the most useful tools I own is a fence stretcher.  It’s like having an additional hand and arm with the strength of “Captain America.”  I use it to grab a single strand of wire and then use the lever to “jack” the wire back into place.  Once the wire is properly aligned, the stretcher holds it until it’s attached.  It makes the impossible, possible.

Still, I was looking at about five hundred feet of repair work that needed to be done.  Now! I was feeling overwhelmed and it caused me to think about doing a short-term fix while forgetting the rest at the time.   But as soon as I started to do the work the gigantic job shrank down to its real size.

I looked down the line of fence posts and remembered a time when they weren’t there.  There was no wire, green grass or cattle.  It was hard, dry unmanaged ground when I purchased it.  I looked all around me and surveyed what I had accomplished over the years.   It was a work of beauty.

I let the beauty of the place wash over me.  I could see it with my eyes.  I felt it under my feet.  I was restoring it with my hands.  I let visions of all the work I’d done over the years rush through my head as the wind in my hair.  The satisfaction was freeing to my mood.

A couple of days later I was talking with one of my daughters whose mood had been dampened by the sheer weight of her responsibilities – her work, family & home.  Her plight reminded me of my seemingly similar mood resulting from two thousand pounds of life pressing down on my fence.  But this was rather the weight of life on her shoulders.  Funny how that kind of weight and damage even the strongest of people over time!

I began to speak with her of all she had accomplished in every area of her life.  We laughed as we spoke of times we’ve shared together, like burning mountains of tumbleweeds, as we accomplished the impossible.  She has created a life of beauty and accomplishment.  Soon our combined satisfaction swelled our hearts with joy and gratitude.

Satisfaction from your accomplishments will do the same for you if you’ll let it rush into your heart.  Take time to review what you’ve accomplished over your lifetime each day.  It will stretch your joy, attach it to your heart and show you that the impossible is possible.

Depend on Your Trust Fund

“Don’t get so caught up in . . .worries that you miss out on living”

-       Kevin D. Freeman

Depend on Your Trust Fund

Most people think of a trust fund as a store of money set aside for their use.  I like to think of it a little differently.  For me it is a store of laws and friendships that allow me to draw on additional strength and knowledge.  Kevin Freeman likes to talk about these in terms of seven basis truths that he learned from John Templeton his greatest mentor.  They will help you in good times and bad.  Here are his seven secrets:

1.  Order Your Priorities.  Much of personal vulnerability is the direct result of misplaced priorities.  Many of the most successful people I know have their priorities in proper order.  For myself, I’ve found that when I focus only on business, life loses meaning.   So take the time to determine what makes you happy in life and then organize your being in order of what is most important to you.

2.  Know Where Your Treasure Is.  “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Most people get this backward: they let their treasure follow their heart.  My experience is that confusing this order causes unhappiness.  You can actually direct your heart by moving your treasure.  Make sure your treasurer is based on permanence.

3.  Count Your Blessings.  John Templeton said, “Counting your blessings can transform melancholy into cheerfulness; laughter and joy are expressions of peace and thanksgiving for life’s glories.  Thanksgiving is a creative force that, if lived on continuous basis and not just for one day each year, will create more good in your life and more to be thankful for.  Perhaps we could call this the life of thanksgiving.”  What I like most about John’s premise is that “thanksgiving leads to having more to give thanks for.”  He became a billionaire and attributed his success to a whole- hearted daily practice of this belief.

4.  Giving Is Living.  Life’s greatest investment is in life itself.  My favorite author says, “Why do you adorn yourself with things that don’t have life yet suffer the hungry and needy to pass you unnoticed?”  I know people who always give, even when they feel strapped financially, because they know it is an integral part of the law of cause and effect.  Remember that this philosophy extends beyond giving money.  The happiest moments of my life are when I’m spending time helping others.  If you’re feeling sad, give of yourself and your heart will be buoyed up immediately.

5.  Depend on Your Trust Fund.  I talked about this earlier.  Once you have set your priorities make sure you surround yourself with trusted advisors, friends that know you well and always support you in becoming your best self.  I honestly believe that the people in my trust fund are smarter and more successful than I am.  I’m truly grateful to have them as my friends.

6.  Never Give In.  I know you’ve faced many challenges in your life.  No doubt there will be many more challenges in the days to come.  What I’ve found is that studying history always gives me courage, strength and hope.  Some of the men I admire most lived through World War I, the Great Depression and World War II.  In the end, they lived full, successful lives that were filled with love.  They faced their time with courage and resolve.  After reading about them I’m always filled with their courage and believe I can do it because they did.  Take the time to research the lives of your own heroes and pay special attention to world events during their lifetime.  It will offer you new appreciation for the people you already admire and will give you hope.

7.  Only One Thing is Necessary.  Don’t worry so much about the things in this life that you miss out on the best things.  I know you have a great deal to worry about and a lot to do.  Don’t get so caught up in such worries that you miss out on living.  If you’re like me there are times when you just have to remind yourself that you’re alive today and may not be tomorrow.  Enjoy what is. 

The air was rather warm this morning and a gentile breeze filled my lungs.  All at once the sun pushed its way from behind a bank of clouds and I felt its warmth embrace my entire body and mind.  Only one thing mattered at that moment, the feeling of joy from the good that surrounded me.  It was all a matter of enjoying what is and trusting your ability to receive it.

We all depend on basic trust to live our lives.  Recognizing what and who makes up your trust fund will allow you to turn your life into one exceptionally lived.