Depend on Your Trust Fund

“Don’t get so caught up in . . .worries that you miss out on living”

-       Kevin D. Freeman

Depend on Your Trust Fund

Most people think of a trust fund as a store of money set aside for their use.  I like to think of it a little differently.  For me it is a store of laws and friendships that allow me to draw on additional strength and knowledge.  Kevin Freeman likes to talk about these in terms of seven basis truths that he learned from John Templeton his greatest mentor.  They will help you in good times and bad.  Here are his seven secrets:

1.  Order Your Priorities.  Much of personal vulnerability is the direct result of misplaced priorities.  Many of the most successful people I know have their priorities in proper order.  For myself, I’ve found that when I focus only on business, life loses meaning.   So take the time to determine what makes you happy in life and then organize your being in order of what is most important to you.

2.  Know Where Your Treasure Is.  “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Most people get this backward: they let their treasure follow their heart.  My experience is that confusing this order causes unhappiness.  You can actually direct your heart by moving your treasure.  Make sure your treasurer is based on permanence.

3.  Count Your Blessings.  John Templeton said, “Counting your blessings can transform melancholy into cheerfulness; laughter and joy are expressions of peace and thanksgiving for life’s glories.  Thanksgiving is a creative force that, if lived on continuous basis and not just for one day each year, will create more good in your life and more to be thankful for.  Perhaps we could call this the life of thanksgiving.”  What I like most about John’s premise is that “thanksgiving leads to having more to give thanks for.”  He became a billionaire and attributed his success to a whole- hearted daily practice of this belief.

4.  Giving Is Living.  Life’s greatest investment is in life itself.  My favorite author says, “Why do you adorn yourself with things that don’t have life yet suffer the hungry and needy to pass you unnoticed?”  I know people who always give, even when they feel strapped financially, because they know it is an integral part of the law of cause and effect.  Remember that this philosophy extends beyond giving money.  The happiest moments of my life are when I’m spending time helping others.  If you’re feeling sad, give of yourself and your heart will be buoyed up immediately.

5.  Depend on Your Trust Fund.  I talked about this earlier.  Once you have set your priorities make sure you surround yourself with trusted advisors, friends that know you well and always support you in becoming your best self.  I honestly believe that the people in my trust fund are smarter and more successful than I am.  I’m truly grateful to have them as my friends.

6.  Never Give In.  I know you’ve faced many challenges in your life.  No doubt there will be many more challenges in the days to come.  What I’ve found is that studying history always gives me courage, strength and hope.  Some of the men I admire most lived through World War I, the Great Depression and World War II.  In the end, they lived full, successful lives that were filled with love.  They faced their time with courage and resolve.  After reading about them I’m always filled with their courage and believe I can do it because they did.  Take the time to research the lives of your own heroes and pay special attention to world events during their lifetime.  It will offer you new appreciation for the people you already admire and will give you hope.

7.  Only One Thing is Necessary.  Don’t worry so much about the things in this life that you miss out on the best things.  I know you have a great deal to worry about and a lot to do.  Don’t get so caught up in such worries that you miss out on living.  If you’re like me there are times when you just have to remind yourself that you’re alive today and may not be tomorrow.  Enjoy what is. 

The air was rather warm this morning and a gentile breeze filled my lungs.  All at once the sun pushed its way from behind a bank of clouds and I felt its warmth embrace my entire body and mind.  Only one thing mattered at that moment, the feeling of joy from the good that surrounded me.  It was all a matter of enjoying what is and trusting your ability to receive it.

We all depend on basic trust to live our lives.  Recognizing what and who makes up your trust fund will allow you to turn your life into one exceptionally lived.

Are There Heroes?

“I wish we could have a hero, but we don’t seem to be able to have any anymore.”

-Matt Speers

Are There Heroes?

Matt Speers is a Captain in the United States Marine Corps.  He commands more than one hundred men.  I say command, but that’s wrong in a way.  I should say he leads them.

 “Their parents lend them to me and it’s my job to make sure they become men of honor.  It’s amazing to see some of the decisions a boy of 18 will make.  I don’t know why I’m surprised.  I made the some of the same silly choices when I was that age.  It’s my responsibility to demonstrate the right path so I can send them back to their families as great men when they leave the service.”

When I was listening to Captain Speers speak to me I found it difficult at times to pay attention to my driving.  He was sitting in the seat next to me and there were times when all I wanted to do was stare at him.  Can such men still be walking amongst us?

He has served at two tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan.  He’s also getting himself and his men ready to be deployed again for another tour.  I know how hard he’s working to be prepared.  He spends weeks in the deserts of California without communication to the world you and I live in.  He’s totally immersed in training and caring about the men he lives his life with.  I felt honored that he was spending time with me searching for a home in the mountains of Utah.

On one misty, cool spring day we walked along a street between homes and I asked him what he thought about one particular history-making-general.

“I wish we could have a hero, but we don’t seem to be able to have any anymore.” He said.

I can understand why he said what he said. 

I looked over through the mist and to my right to look at him as he spoke to me; the cool breeze brushing lightly across my face.  And, what I saw was a real hero.  He isn’t some myth created by a popular culture.  He isn’t a self absorbed, self promoting person working to build himself up in the eyes of everyone in the world!  He’s a man of principle.

A hero is someone who has recognized true principles and is willing to live in conformity.  They’re a person who goes out and does the right thing every day even though nobody else will ever know what’s being done.  It’s someone who gives their life to the benefit of others to nurture them and guide them to the best of their ability; someone who’s willing to live out in the middle of nowhere in order to be in a position to teach lessons that can’t be learned in the “center of it all.”  Perhaps most of all, it’s someone who will just go out and do the right thing when it’s hard, uncomfortable or unpopular.

I continued walking on a sidewalk in a popular Mountain Resort Town in Utah on a cool, misty day.  When I looked to my right again, I was finding it harder and harder to see the hero at my side.  The weather wasn’t worsening.  The increasing mist was in my eyes as a result of the opportunity to be walking with a truly great man.

On the Heels of Success

“I was just telling her that it doesn’t do any good to worry. I know she already knows, but sometimes we all need to be reminded.” – Susan Coble

On the Heels of Success

Fashion Week in New York City is a gathering of the world’s best clothing designers and everyone who supports the fashion industry.  During this short make or break period, attendees know that their year can be made or lost.  They spend their time setting the stage for their coming year’s financial and professional success.  Everyone works at a frenetic pace hoping to get as much out of their efforts as possible and when it ends, participants sometimes have a huge mental and physical let down.

“Dad.” My Daughter Jessi said on the other end of the phone.  “I’m just exhausted!”

She was calling me to give me an update on the last couple of weeks since we hadn’t gotten time to speak together during Fashion week.  “I just finished with a real successful show!  I got a chance to have lunch with my friend Susan today.  It was great to have some down time with a friend who would understand.  I was feeling real down and Susan, a fashion model, said to me, ‘don’t worry about the future.  It will all unfold the way it should.’”

Jessi was describing something that I’ve experienced myself over and over again.  It’s the let down that often comes after a huge success.  It’s a feeling that creeps into one’s heart after lots of hard work pays off.  I call it the “all has been accomplished void.”   I’ve heard others call it the “what have you done for me lately” syndrome!

Rather than taking some time off to enjoy the moment, it’s common for successful people to lose faith in the future because they aren’t actively moving their lives rapidly forward at the moment.  In fact, they haven’t even had time to get their feet back under themselves so they can go on to the next step.  They feel out of balance and out of control so they allow their minds to flounder.

This floundering is very much like a person who swims until they are exhausted.  They just can’t take another stroke so they begin to flail in the water hoping they won’t drown.  Their instincts take over and if they don’t take active control of their mind in such a situation, they can die easily.  The alternative however is easier.

If the swimmer simply tips their head back to relax and float, their arms and legs can get the rest they need to continue on.  In just a little while, when their strength has returned, they can swim forward with renewed dedication.

So, next time you come off the heels of success take Susan’s advice, tip your head back, relax and float for a little while.  Take the time to regain your strength.  You’ve already proven yourself.  With renewal pulsing through your veins, move forward and give it all you’ve got!

Giver and Receiver

“I just want to tell him what I think of the way he’s treated me!”

Annie Butterfield

Giver and Receiver

There have been so many times in my life where I’ve benefited from the mercy of others.  I can remember one time in particular; I was in college and working full time.  The company I was working for discontinued operation and I found myself without the ability to pay rent and tuition or to buy food.  It was a distressful time for me to say the least.

When I explained the situation to my landlord they were so kind and generous!  They allowed me to stay for a month, accepted the deposit I had given as payment, and then spread the word that I needed assistance in finding a new job.  As a result, they were not the only ones who came to my aid.

Another friend of mine, Monica Carlsen, a woman with the most clear blue eyes I have ever seen, brought groceries to my door and gave them to me with a smile and sparkle in her eyes.   Without her kindness I would not have had any food for the coming month.  That same month brought me many more examples of how the tender mercies of others make all the difference to people like me who need to receive compassion.

Compassion is born from the heart of those who give it.  It is sympathy for the suffering of others and almost always includes a desire to reach out and help.  But it is the giving of mercy that teaches, through example, how to give to others when the dark night of a broken heart would have one do otherwise.

My daughter recently had her heart crushed by her best friend and I watched her reel from the disorienting experience.  She wanted to lash out and teach this offending person an angry lesson.  I understand her pain because I have felt it myself.  But, even while understanding it, the benefits of mercy continued to ring the bells of compassion loudly in my ears.

“There will come a time when you will need to receive mercy from others.” I explained to her.  “How can you expect to receive mercy when you need it if you are not willing to give it freely under all circumstances?”

She did give it!  And, even though it was mostly because of my coaxing, I could still see the relief it has already distilled upon her heart.  Doing the right thing, because you believe it is the right thing, pays huge dividends even when one does not completely understand it.

As I look through my aging eyes at the world around me I don’t understand why there is so much pain and suffering everywhere I look.  But, I do understand that showing compassion and offering mercy to others will act as the miracle medicine we all need to receive; because in all cases, every one of us must be mercy’s giver and receiver.