How to Save Your Own Life

“Building this house saved my life!”

-      Richard Ure

How to Save Your Own Life

The room we were sitting in was new, fresh and beautiful.  There was a huge wooden desk in the corner, gleaming white wainscoting on the walls and plush carpet on the floor.  The newness of everything was also made obvious as a result of the custom pieces of art that were sitting on the floor and leaning against the white, high-gloss walls.  Within the wall in front of me, and to the right was a beautiful fireplace that matched the fire I could see in the eyes of my host, Richard.

It was good to see fire in Richard’s eyes again.  You see, he’s been struggling with his health for the past ten years or so.  Yet, he’s already out lived the predictions of his doctors.  That’s because they only look at the lab reports about the health of his heart.  They don’t look deeper into the heart of his soul.

“I love your new home!” I said.

“You know,” Richard replied, “building this house saved my life!”

How did taking on the task of designing and building a new house restore vigor and health to Richard’s life?  One would think that such a large and stressful project would be more than a person with an unhealthy heart could take on and be successful with.  But, looking more deeply into the building process reveals a universal secret for living vibrantly.

Before the plans were drawn and the building began to be constructed, Richard created everything within his mind.  He chose to create his new home in thought.  This essential, life giving action, is the first step to take when a person chooses to actively create their own future.  But it isn’t the last.  As you proceed, keep in mind that there are two other steps you need to take to bring your vision into the physical now.  It isn’t enough to hold your plan within your mind. 

When Richard built his house, the next step he took, after mental creation, was to put his vision on paper, or computer.  The point is that this next step must be copying the vision from your mind and putting it onto something that’s physical.  This is essential because it allows your mind to see that your vision is going to be real in the physical world.  It is literally a blueprint, containing all of the exact, small and large details that will allow you to follow a clear path to the fulfillment of your dream.  I call this the “it will be” phase.

The fulfillment of your dream is the final physical creation.  It’s when you look at the plans and follow them to completion.  This is the “it is phase.”  It is where the complete mental creation becomes fully physical in the now.  It’s when all the colors, materials, attributes or whatever you’ve imagined become one with you.  It is a blending of the past, present and future.   It is the truth of your creation process.

In truth, this essential creation process has the ability to create and change your life.  If you will follow its steps in perfect detail and never vary, it will absolutely work for you.  I’ve seen it happen over and over again.  It’s how you can save your own life, if you’re struggling, and it will make a good life turn into an amazing life if you apply it.  This is how you can live the life you’ve dreamed about; look deep into the heart of your own soul and live!

Exponential Living

Learning from a Teacher and Students at the same time.

Exponential Living

An instructor was standing in front of me and I was surrounded by other students as well.  I’m required to complete a large number of “continuing education” hours in order to have my professional license renewed every two years.  There is always a lot to learn and in this class’ particular case I was able to hit a double.

I use that baseball term because it is so instructive as to the receipt of benefits.  I like to say, “When you go up to bat, why hit a single when you can hit a double?  Whenever you can put forth the same or similar effort and get twice the benefit it’s a great opportunity!  And, when it’s a surprise extra benefit; all the better.  I realized this was one of those times during a break.

I was sitting next to my friends Linda and Todd when Todd asked Linda how things were going for her husband.

“We don’t really worry about anything except for now.” She replied.  “We can’t go back and change the past.  His cancer is here.  We don’t know what the future holds because we don’t know how the disease will progress, so we simply worry about each day as it comes and live it to its fullest!”

Her words alighted on my mind as quickly as they left my ears.  She was describing one of the important lessons life has taught her as a result of her husband’s illness.  I was hearing her deliver the same message to me in a different way.

 Life requires all of us to have continuing education.  But, life doesn’t require us to learn our lessons in the same way.  Recognizing important lessons, as taught to us by others, is a precious opportunity.  A person who can observe and then apply what she learns from the lives of others is able to live an exponential existence.

All of us can become the sum total of hundreds or thousands of other lives.  To do so only requires us to read, observe or listen to the wisdom learned by other persons and to then incorporate it into our being now.   While we can’t live in the past, we can learn and benefit from it right now.  And, while we can’t live in the future yet, wisdom applied now will open to a future full of promise.

We all live with the promise of a good single life.  But, why live a single when you can harvest the wisdom of a double, triple or thousands?  Life requires continual learning, but it allows and delivers the wonder of exponential lives learned.

 

Giver and Receiver

“I just want to tell him what I think of the way he’s treated me!”

Annie Butterfield

Giver and Receiver

There have been so many times in my life where I’ve benefited from the mercy of others.  I can remember one time in particular; I was in college and working full time.  The company I was working for discontinued operation and I found myself without the ability to pay rent and tuition or to buy food.  It was a distressful time for me to say the least.

When I explained the situation to my landlord they were so kind and generous!  They allowed me to stay for a month, accepted the deposit I had given as payment, and then spread the word that I needed assistance in finding a new job.  As a result, they were not the only ones who came to my aid.

Another friend of mine, Monica Carlsen, a woman with the most clear blue eyes I have ever seen, brought groceries to my door and gave them to me with a smile and sparkle in her eyes.   Without her kindness I would not have had any food for the coming month.  That same month brought me many more examples of how the tender mercies of others make all the difference to people like me who need to receive compassion.

Compassion is born from the heart of those who give it.  It is sympathy for the suffering of others and almost always includes a desire to reach out and help.  But it is the giving of mercy that teaches, through example, how to give to others when the dark night of a broken heart would have one do otherwise.

My daughter recently had her heart crushed by her best friend and I watched her reel from the disorienting experience.  She wanted to lash out and teach this offending person an angry lesson.  I understand her pain because I have felt it myself.  But, even while understanding it, the benefits of mercy continued to ring the bells of compassion loudly in my ears.

“There will come a time when you will need to receive mercy from others.” I explained to her.  “How can you expect to receive mercy when you need it if you are not willing to give it freely under all circumstances?”

She did give it!  And, even though it was mostly because of my coaxing, I could still see the relief it has already distilled upon her heart.  Doing the right thing, because you believe it is the right thing, pays huge dividends even when one does not completely understand it.

As I look through my aging eyes at the world around me I don’t understand why there is so much pain and suffering everywhere I look.  But, I do understand that showing compassion and offering mercy to others will act as the miracle medicine we all need to receive; because in all cases, every one of us must be mercy’s giver and receiver.

Living Without Regret

“Now I do my business in a way that will allow me to live my life without regrets.”

-      A Friend

Living Without Regret

I could hear the clicking of a keyboard as I approached the computer bay.  I was walking through an office work area toward another room where I was going to attend a meeting.  As I got closer, I was surprised to recognize the person tapping the keys.

“Hi Lynn,” my friend said when he looked up and saw me.

I could tell this was going to be a short detour now that I had seen this friend, but it didn’t matter because I was excited to speak with him.  We hadn’t talked for a few months and this chance encounter was a welcome respite from a harried day.  My friend’s smile was also a welcome site since I knew he hadn’t always felt like smiling over the past few years.

As we began our conversation his smile increased and it had the effect of a soothing rain as it washed the heat of the day from existence.

“Have you been spending enough time with your family the past few weeks?” He asked.

It was a common question from this particular friend.  He is always great about helping me to stay focused on what really matters.

“Always remember why you work!” He continued.  “We don’t work for money or for the work itself.  We work so we can spend time with our families and give them what they need.  Remember to work so you don’t have any regrets in your life!”

I listen intently to him because he is a man who knows what he’s talking about.  You see, his smile is just returning after he learned a bitter lesson.  His story is an important one for all of us.

A few years ago he was “living his work.”  Then one morning he got up as usual and left his home without even seeing another member of his family.  He and his wife had an arrangement where she would take their infant to day care in the morning and he would pick their child up at the end of the day.  This day began as every one of their other days, but it didn’t end as the other ones had ended.

Toward late afternoon he received a phone call that shook his world.  He raced to the day care center as soon as he hung up the telephone and when he arrived, it was as if a tsunami had wiped his life away.   His baby had died! 

As I looked at my friend’s bright face on this day, a flood of memory rushed through my body and his words from the past echoed in my ears. “I have always regretted not giving my baby a kiss before I left for work that morning!  Now I make sure I always put my family first.  I work without regret, because I know I the reason I work is so I can spend as much time with my family as possible!”

He has discovered the deeper meaning of his work and it has made all the difference in his life.  He truly lives each day without regret and we can too! Take some time to discover the deeper meaning of your work.  Only then will you be able to really live your life.  Living your life with true meaning will give significance to every aspect of your existence.  Live today.

 

How's Your Vision?

“A College Admittance Application”

How’s Your Vision?

Most of what it takes to complete a college application on-line is time.  The time I’ve spent doing it has been time well spent; since it’s been with my daughter.  The other day she pulled out her computer and we sat down to answer a few questions together.

The questions we were answering were easy and we breezed along until we hit one question in particular. “What will you have accomplished within the next five years?”

“Why do they always ask such stupid questions?” my daughter asked.

My thoughts went back to interviews I’ve seen with small children.  Most of them don’t hesitate with an answer to a similar question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Their answers flow freely and confidently; a cowboy, a teacher, astronaut, doctor, firefighter, lawyer.

“I don’t have any idea!”

“Yes you do.” I replied.  “You’ve told me over and over again.  Would you like me to tell you what you told me?”

“Yes.”

I spent a few minutes listing the things she had told me in the past.  They were exciting and challenging things.  They were the things she has been spending the last few years working toward.

“I haven’t thought about those things for a long time!”  She said.

We spent the next few minutes writing, thinking about and crafting the vision of her future to complete her application.  It was a good exercise for us to go through.  We talked about the fact that this vision was the basis for her success in college and for her life as well.  It caused me to think about my own life and experience.

We were sitting in our house.  It is the house this girl has lived in virtually her whole life.  We have a photo of her standing in this same house, the winter it was under construction, in her snow suit with bare feet.  She has a huge grin on her face and when I look at the photo today I can still feel her exuberance.

“Had I not created a plan for this house, thought about it, worked to build it, would we be sitting in it right now?  The chances would be too small to even comprehend.  So is the future of my life any different?”

I’ve noticed that as I get older, my eyes don’t quite work as well as they used to.  Now I wish that was the only part of my vision that has been deteriorating!  Good thing I just finished a vision correction session with my daughter!

I’m going to spend some time making application for my future over the next couple of weeks.  It will take some time to create a plan, think it through and work to build it.  I’m sure it will turn out to be as comfortable and customized as the house I live in is. 

The truth is that we all live in our custom lives.  Is your life the way you want it to be, or do you need to begin a new set of plans?

 

The Gentile Voice of Love

“You need to come up here!” (In an angry voice)

- The man with the little white dog

The Gentle Voice of Love

I sat in a small apartment with two men, one woman and a small white dog.  We were getting acquainted with each other and expressing pleasantries when the small dog jumped down to the floor and came over to sniff the trousers that covered my legs.  She could smell my dog so she stayed for a minute lingering in the in the aroma that filled her senses.

As she remained, her owner became anxious so I told him it was just fine, but I watched as his eyes expressed increasing displeasure.  He called to her.  She didn’t respond as he wished.  I watched the fire in his eyes grow!

In one violent eruption the sitting man stomped his foot hard on the floor and angrily yelled, “YOU COME UP HERE NOW!”

I felt my body respond to this outburst as it involuntarily pushed against the back of the couch in shock and dismay.  I watched the gentile little dog put her tail between her two back legs and jump up to her designated spot when threatened. Her little spirit was crushed.

Then, as quickly as the outburst began, I heard new sweet tones from the once contorted face: “I love you!”

“I love you?” I thought to myself.  Is that what love is?  Is love expressed through threats and angry lashing out?  Does one only love another when the other conforms exactly as commanded?

I watched as a large hand stroked the fir of the little one next to his lap.  Her eyes were filled with fear and anticipation, wondering how long this kindness would last.

“What a sad way to live” I thought.  Then I reflected on my own relationships.  How would an independent observer describe my interactions with others?  Would they express my actions as the gentle voice of love?  When others look at me, do they see kindness, consideration, and caring?  I hope so!

The greatest compliment one being can give another is to choose to love, and be with them.  It is the richest tribute to love and freedom I can think of.  When you extend your love to others freely, you’ll find that the sweetness of freedom will furnish fulfillment in ways you never anticipated.  When you allow others to give you their love, in their own way and of their own choice, your relationships will be filled with trust, caring and increased depth. 

The depth of your offered love will be reflected in your life immediately; you will enjoy additional freedom and a joy beyond description. Perhaps it seems too simple, but it’s not.  Allow the gentile voice of love to change your life today.

Doritos and Sweet Tarts

Doorstep Dogs

Doritos and Sweet Tarts

They were all together on a big long front porch.  By they, I mean two little girls and one black, brown, tan and white dog.  I didn’t know where the dog came from, but I knew the girls.  They were my girls; and the dog?

It was clear that the dog was a stray.  She had matted fur and looked a little worse for wear.  We didn’t have a dog and never had.  At that time we only lived with one grumpy cat.  I knew he wouldn’t like to have a dog around and I didn’t need one more animal to take care of.  So I made one simple pronouncement to the girls.

“Don’t feed the dog!”

But, the dog didn’t leave and moved from the front porch to the back deck.  It was only about three days later when a dog’s food bowl magically appeared on the back deck and I knew the battle was over.  The dog had won and I had lost!

It wasn’t until a few years had gone by when the girls finally admitted that the dog, “Freckles,” had been prompted to stay as a result of their gifts of Doritos and Sweet Tarts.  They wanted the dog, felt sorry for her and had offered her the best food they could think of!  That was the first pure bred doorstep dog that came to live with us.

The next one came a few years later.  My wife was out walking Freckles when they happened upon another mostly black dog lying in the ditch just up the road from our house.  She was thin and didn’t look well.  But, she was strong enough to follow them home.  When they arrived, I said, “Don’t feed the dog.  One is enough!”

The next day brought a new collar, leash and bowl.  Once again the pure bread doorstep dog had won.  We were now a family of people with one cat and two dogs.  But, things change with time.

After eighteen years our cat had lived out his life.  The next year Freckles also gave up the ghost.  Their pictures still grace our family photo wall and they are dearly missed.

A few weeks ago our last dog “Cricket” was running happily in the yard and came up lame.  We thought it was a simple sprain or a small wound on her pad.  When it didn’t heal my wife took her to the doctor to see what the problem was.  It turned out to be a torn ACL.  She needed surgery to restore the use of her leg.

The cost estimate was large, but the decision to spend the money was easy.  After all, she is more than just a pure bred doorstep dog.  She’s part of the family and you can’t put a monetary value on that!  And, as I have been thinking about Cricket, Freckles and Simba “Binx,” my mind went back to one thing my Uncle Jerry had taught me long ago.

I went to visit Uncle Jerry and he had a new dog at his farm.  I asked him where he got the dog.  He said, “I went to the animal shelter.”

Said I, “How did you choose the right dog?”

“I just bring the dog who knows me home!”

It’s a lesson I’ve always remembered.  Spend your life with those who want to be with you and you’ll never go wrong.  We love them because they loved us first!