On the Heels of Success

“I was just telling her that it doesn’t do any good to worry. I know she already knows, but sometimes we all need to be reminded.” – Susan Coble

On the Heels of Success

Fashion Week in New York City is a gathering of the world’s best clothing designers and everyone who supports the fashion industry.  During this short make or break period, attendees know that their year can be made or lost.  They spend their time setting the stage for their coming year’s financial and professional success.  Everyone works at a frenetic pace hoping to get as much out of their efforts as possible and when it ends, participants sometimes have a huge mental and physical let down.

“Dad.” My Daughter Jessi said on the other end of the phone.  “I’m just exhausted!”

She was calling me to give me an update on the last couple of weeks since we hadn’t gotten time to speak together during Fashion week.  “I just finished with a real successful show!  I got a chance to have lunch with my friend Susan today.  It was great to have some down time with a friend who would understand.  I was feeling real down and Susan, a fashion model, said to me, ‘don’t worry about the future.  It will all unfold the way it should.’”

Jessi was describing something that I’ve experienced myself over and over again.  It’s the let down that often comes after a huge success.  It’s a feeling that creeps into one’s heart after lots of hard work pays off.  I call it the “all has been accomplished void.”   I’ve heard others call it the “what have you done for me lately” syndrome!

Rather than taking some time off to enjoy the moment, it’s common for successful people to lose faith in the future because they aren’t actively moving their lives rapidly forward at the moment.  In fact, they haven’t even had time to get their feet back under themselves so they can go on to the next step.  They feel out of balance and out of control so they allow their minds to flounder.

This floundering is very much like a person who swims until they are exhausted.  They just can’t take another stroke so they begin to flail in the water hoping they won’t drown.  Their instincts take over and if they don’t take active control of their mind in such a situation, they can die easily.  The alternative however is easier.

If the swimmer simply tips their head back to relax and float, their arms and legs can get the rest they need to continue on.  In just a little while, when their strength has returned, they can swim forward with renewed dedication.

So, next time you come off the heels of success take Susan’s advice, tip your head back, relax and float for a little while.  Take the time to regain your strength.  You’ve already proven yourself.  With renewal pulsing through your veins, move forward and give it all you’ve got!

The Glass Sentinel

“I’m looking for a job that will allow me to do what I want to do.”

-      Kyle Butterfield

The Glass Sentinel

I could smell the large trees that were surrounding me.  The fresh air seemed to be streaming right from their leaves into my nose.  It made me feel as if I was sitting in a forest in early spring and the feeling was exceptionally welcome since I had braved fog, snow and freezing cold air before I could enjoy it.  Just beyond the trees were sentinel glass barriers that kept all that gloomy winter stuff at bay.

This interior garden was enlivening to me and I needed it because the cloud darkened day was coming to a close and I still had two meetings left.  Luckily they were both in this spirit-refueling garden that was about to turn into something akin to a fortune teller.

There was a table for us to sit at during our conversation and there were two chairs that allowed us to look at each other as we talked.  The tête-à-tête was pleasant and revealing for both of us as we got to know each other better.  I learned about the other person’s business as well as his family.  I also learned about his life’s aspirations.  But, there was one curious thing.

“I am looking forward to retiring so I can do something of real value.” He said to me.

“Isn’t your working adding value to others now?” I asked.

“Yes.  But, it isn’t what I really want to do.”  He responded.

“But, if you really want to do it wouldn’t you be doing it?” I replied.

Sometimes we think that we can only do what we want to do if we are doing it as a medium of exchange for money.  Or, we think that since we spend time working for money that we’re unable to do what we really love to do.

My Nephew Kyle called me today.  He told me that he had recently graduated from college.  I know that he’s worked long and hard to get his degree!  He’s been searching for work so he can provide for his wife and their new baby.  He has an interview this coming week.

“It isn’t what I want to do.” He said.

“Why can’t you do what you want to do?” I replied.

“I haven’t found anyone who will pay me to be an illustrator!” He responded.

“Let me ask you a question,” I answered. “Do writers write?”

“Yes.”

“Do illustrators, illustrate?”

“Yes.”

“So, if you want to be an illustrator, illustrate!” I advocated.

It’s important that you become your own advocate, since we live in a world that’s cold & snowy and covered in fog.  You can look inside and illustrate our own interior garden; find what you love to do.  After all, that’s who you really are!  When you discover it, you’ll find that it’s enlivening.  It will act as your sentinel glass barrier that will keep you safe and warm even when the outer world is dark and threatening and you need to work for money do keep a roof over your head and food in your belly.

Take a walk in your garden today by discovering what it is that you really want to do and then go out and do it.  If you’re a writer, write.  If you’re a teacher, teach.  If you’re an artist, create art.  When you get in touch with your love, every other person will benefit.  There is no limit on what love can do!

Giver and Receiver

“I just want to tell him what I think of the way he’s treated me!”

Annie Butterfield

Giver and Receiver

There have been so many times in my life where I’ve benefited from the mercy of others.  I can remember one time in particular; I was in college and working full time.  The company I was working for discontinued operation and I found myself without the ability to pay rent and tuition or to buy food.  It was a distressful time for me to say the least.

When I explained the situation to my landlord they were so kind and generous!  They allowed me to stay for a month, accepted the deposit I had given as payment, and then spread the word that I needed assistance in finding a new job.  As a result, they were not the only ones who came to my aid.

Another friend of mine, Monica Carlsen, a woman with the most clear blue eyes I have ever seen, brought groceries to my door and gave them to me with a smile and sparkle in her eyes.   Without her kindness I would not have had any food for the coming month.  That same month brought me many more examples of how the tender mercies of others make all the difference to people like me who need to receive compassion.

Compassion is born from the heart of those who give it.  It is sympathy for the suffering of others and almost always includes a desire to reach out and help.  But it is the giving of mercy that teaches, through example, how to give to others when the dark night of a broken heart would have one do otherwise.

My daughter recently had her heart crushed by her best friend and I watched her reel from the disorienting experience.  She wanted to lash out and teach this offending person an angry lesson.  I understand her pain because I have felt it myself.  But, even while understanding it, the benefits of mercy continued to ring the bells of compassion loudly in my ears.

“There will come a time when you will need to receive mercy from others.” I explained to her.  “How can you expect to receive mercy when you need it if you are not willing to give it freely under all circumstances?”

She did give it!  And, even though it was mostly because of my coaxing, I could still see the relief it has already distilled upon her heart.  Doing the right thing, because you believe it is the right thing, pays huge dividends even when one does not completely understand it.

As I look through my aging eyes at the world around me I don’t understand why there is so much pain and suffering everywhere I look.  But, I do understand that showing compassion and offering mercy to others will act as the miracle medicine we all need to receive; because in all cases, every one of us must be mercy’s giver and receiver.