Change One Life Now, Change Thousands in the Future

“We can identify problems all our life, but that isn’t enough. We must do something about them!”
- Quinn Heder

Change one Life Today so you can Change Thousands in the Future

Last night I went with my wife and one of my daughters to have dinner at Alpine Academy. I expect you haven’t heard about Alpine Academy or Utah Youth Village, but they’ve been on my mind a great deal as of late. That’s because I’ve been thinking about the growing importance of mercy in our world today.

My friend Janette Thompson and her friend Erin act as “parents,” for Alpine Academy. They’re parents for ten teen-aged girls and they live in a large family home almost right across the street from me. Alpine Academy provides a chance for the girls to learn how a family works and grow from experiencing a functioning family. So when we were invited to come over for dinner, it wasn’t just any dinner. It was to a family dinner and a great opportunity for us to get to know each other; family to family and person to person.

Meeting with other people so you can get to know them is almost a lost art these days. I was reminded of this yesterday as I was shopping in Costco. I passed person after person with headphones in their ears. Talk about a large “Don’t talk to me” sign on the forehead. It’s hard to get to know someone who doesn’t want to hear a word you have to say!

But, that wasn’t the case last night! How nice it was to sit with neighbors who really wanted to just sit and talk. And talk we did!

We talked about each person there. We learned about each one; where they were from and what their hopes are for the future.

Because of their attendance at Alpine Academy each girl has a brighter future. I was most touched when Julia, a girl from the Atlanta area, gave us a tour and then stopped at a picture of Lila Bjorklund, founder of Alpine Academy.

Julia told us that Lila started Utah Youth Village and managed it without pay for more than 25 years. Then she said, “Grandma Lila believed that if you changed one girl now, you could change thousands in the future.”

For Lila, it was not enough to be concerned about troubled children - she put a roof over their heads and taught them responsible behavior.

It was not enough to found a program for troubled girls - she also managed it, 40 - 50 hours a week, without financial compensation, for over 25 years.

It was not enough to build one group home - she built four.

It was not enough to build four group homes - she opened 40 foster homes to care for younger victims of abuse and neglect.

It was not enough to provide a safe home for over 200 children a year - she instituted a program to teach their parents to help them, so they could remain with their families, and together they could heal and learn to live with mutual respect and caring.

With Lila, as long as there were troubled children, she could never do enough.

“Can I ever do enough?” I asked my friend Quinn Heder today. We were talking about life and what it means to have faith.

He asked me what I thought having faith meant.

“When my mind tells me one thing and I feel inside that things are going to be alright anyway,” I said.

One can believe things are going to be alright in the future as much as they want, but without doing something about it nothing is going to change we concluded.

So, I’m looking in the mirror a lot these days asking myself one question.

Am I showing enough mercy to everyone around me?

Then I think, “I must become the kind of person that looks at everyone around me and says, yes I know you’ve made mistakes. I have too! It’s o.k., I love you anyway. Let me give you a hand up so we can share happy lives together.”

I feel honored to be able to look across the street and see what Lila Bjorklund was able to create with the help of lots of other good hearted people! I feel comfort in the fact that girls across my own road are changing so they can change the lives of thousands to come. I feel humbled to know that there are many small things I can do to help them along their way.

You can help too. If you would like to become part of changing lives use this link: http://www.youthvillage.org/donate.php or, you can contact me and I’ll be able to talk with you about helping.

It isn’t enough to just see the problems around us anymore. Won’t you join me and work to change the lives of thousands in the future?

The Gift of Good Neighbors

“We saw a puff of dust so we knew something was wrong. Then we saw you running like a streak so we came over to help.”
- George & Carolyn Showell

The Gift of Good Neighbors

The darkness enveloped me as I began to stir. A new day was beginning and I knew just what I was going to do. Even though it was dark and the cold seemed to seize my muscles, I kept moving because the thought of the sun peaking above the mountain motivated me.

Small ice crystals covered the grass and I watched them begin to glisten just before they vanished in the emerging dawn. The world was beginning to awaken and I was about to blast it awake with the noise of machinery.

I have a lot of grass to mow. This week I had even more than usual amount of grass to mow because the grass in my pasture was getting too deep; too deep even for the horses to eat, so I was going to cut it. Besides, if it didn’t get cut it would soon begin to go dormant so I acted.

“It’s a good thing my neighbors aren’t real close,” I thought. If I lived in the city my neighbors would certainly be unhappy with the roar of an engine at 6:30 a.m. But here, rather than thinking a lawn tractor had climbed into bed with them, they would merely hear a slight noise. At least, that’s what I was hoping as I backed out of the garage to begin my slashing.

About two hours later the engine sputtered slightly and then died immediately. I had mowed a little more than half the field the night before and hadn’t refilled the gas tank, so I knew I was out of gas. I got off the tractor, walked to its back and peered at the fuel level stripes on the outside of the tank. Yes indeed. I was out of gas with only one pass left!

The horses surrounded me and began to take in deep breaths as they inhaled. They are curious animals and this was their chance to check me and my machine out without noise and continuous movement. I walked past them to the garage, grabbed hold of the heavy gas canister and lifted it back past the horses. Then I unscrewed the cap and watched the rainbow colored fuel be gulped up by the machine.

I lifted the half empty can on to my lap and turned the key. My first attempt to start the engine failed, but the second one didn’t. I began to cut my last bit of grass as I drove toward the open gate. Once through the gate I hesitated briefly. I remember thinking, “I should shut this gate.”

However, I could see the garage not far away and I really didn’t want to stop and have to lift the canister up two more times when it wasn’t necessary, so I drove on. I have left the gate down lots of times and the horses just stay in the pasture. Why wouldn’t they, the grass was plentiful and it was their home.

I got to the garage, turned off the machine and put the gas can down. I turned around and watched the horses pass through the gate. Fear gripped my heart because when I was a child one of my horses got out onto the highway and was hit by a car. That scene, from so many years ago, was freshened and alive in my mind now. I was hoping I could simply herd them the few feet back into the safety of the pasture.

It was not to be. When I approached them they bolted out to the street!

As it turns out my friend Clayton Dunn was driving past. He stopped and asked if he could help.

I said yes!

We tried to herd them, but they were uncooperative.

Then my next door neighbors came out. The entire family! They began to spread out so we could create a human net.

As we started, a reddish car pulled up. It was the Showells from across the neighborhood. They pulled over, got out of their car and became links to the huge net we had created to surround the frightened horses.

Within moments we had the horses moving toward home. We all ran a little. We all pushed with our voices a little. We were successful. I latched the gate and thanked everyone from the bottom of my heart!

The Gearos simply said, “You’ve done it for us before.”

Clayton simply said, “You’re welcome,” and resumed his drive to work.

The Showells stayed and talked with me for a minute and told me of how they had been watching me. (They live a mile and a half away.) They said, “We saw a puff of dust so we knew something was wrong. Then we saw you running like a streak so we came over to help.”
And, help they all did!

It is one thing to live next door or near someone else. It’s another to be a neighbor! My neighbors have demonstrated the difference to me over and over again. They are important to me and I treasure them. I can only hope to be a great neighbor to them in return.

Do you remember when it was common to go to a neighbor to borrow a cup of sugar or milk? Do you remember when we knew all of our neighbors? Do you remember when being a neighbor made you want to feel watchful and caring?

To have a great life, be a great neighbor. Of all the titles I have aspired to, the title of neighbor is one of the most valuable and important. Be a good neighbor; become a great friend and you’ll find true wealth, importance and joy beyond measure!

A Life of Miracles

“I’ve made it a habit to write down all of the miracles that have happened in my life.”
- David Remington

Are Miracles Happening in Your Life?

My friend Rochelle was impossible for me to talk with two Saturday evenings ago. It was making me feel anxious because we had talked earlier in the day several times. I thought it a little bit odd, since she was expecting my call and I knew she wanted to meet with me.


Late in the evening I finally gave up calling. I was tired from a long day of work and I knew that another day would soon be upon us.


As it turns out I didn’t catch up with Rochelle until Monday. I was glad to be able to talk with her because my little internal voice just wouldn’t accept that everything we alright. My little voice was right.


Rochelle began our conversation apologizing to me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t available Saturday night,” she said. “But, my daughter was hit by a drunk driver so I had to be with her in the hospital.”


I held my small telephone limply by my ear. I couldn’t believe the words I was hearing! A whirlwind of thoughts swept through my mind, but one was harsh. I was ashamed to hear her say she was sorry because of the situation. I should have been the one apologizing to her.


I wished I could have somehow been able to stop the accident. I wanted to make things alright.
Yet, all I could do at this point was to ask if her daughter was o.k. I waited for the answer with hopeful anticipation. I waited for words I was afraid would never come.


“Yes. She’s o.k.” Rochelle said in a grateful tone.


“She was walking with two friends when a car hit them from behind.” Rochelle continued on to tell me that her daughter’s two friends we “grazed” by the car and were largely unaffected. The two were in shock still and couldn’t remember what had happened.


Her daughter received the brunt of the collision though. Her body was hurled straight up into the air and had landed in the windshield, only to be cast aside into the rocks and weeds below.
One would have expected the driver to stop and offer assistance. But the driver simply continued on; weaving and frightfully endangering everything in his path.


Others stopped to help. Since the accident wasn’t far from the hospital additional help arrived quickly and all three girls were scooped up to safety and examination within minutes. And this is where the first discovery of a miracle occurred.


Rochelle’s daughter, though savagely assaulted, had cuts, bruises, road rash and surprisingly no broken bones! What could have been a life ending episode was now looming large as a modern day miracle! And, the miracle didn’t end there.


As the driver continued on down the road, another person, not aware of the accident, noticed the erratic driving. So, worrying about danger this driver not only called 911, they followed this drunk driver home and parked in front of the driveway so he couldn’t go anywhere else until police arrived! Who says that people “don’t care?”


People do care and the world is full of wonderful people offering help and comfort all around us. If you doubt it just take some time to talk with your friends.


I was doing just that the day after this accident and its associate miracles, before I knew they had happened, with my friend David Remington. I was mesmerized by every word he spoke as he recounted a large portion of his life. After about an hour of an exquisite tale he said, “I’ve made it a habit to write down all of the miracles that have happened in my life. Wow! It is a huge list,” he said.


Those words seemed to hit me between the eyes to drive a wedge into my mind. “Do we really live in a time of miracles?” I asked myself.


Yes was the answer!


And my answer was just beginning to be revealed. I had no idea that Rochelle would be answering that question in a striking revelation the very next day.


So, now I’ve taken a step into the unknown. Now my eyes have been opened and I am having a wonderful time. Other friends have begun to share personal miracles with me and I am devouring every word of every amazing story.


And, I’m taking Dave’s example to heart, I’m beginning to write a list of my own life’s miracles so they somehow don’t disappear with the other fleeting seconds of my being. It feels good. It feels, real good!


Have you had miracles small and large in your life’s experience? I think you might! If you want to feel real hope; if you want to feel a sense of wonder; if you want to feel part of the miracle of life, do something great for yourself. Write down a list of all the miracles that have occurred during the story of your life.


And, if you want to share please share your experiences with me. I am your eager audience! I hope miracles never cease in your life. You deserve to be amazed, so go live a life of miracles!

The Art of Being a Pig

“If you call one of our players a pig he’ll probably come up and high-five you!”
- Kyle Whittingham

The Art of Being a Pig

My friend Sandra Johnson owned her own advertising firm when I met her. She worked for the firm I was with, so I had the great pleasure of getting to know her. What I love most about Sandra is her great sense of humor and her ability to see things from a different point of view. For example, one Christmas knowing that my friend Brad loved dogs, she gave him a beautifully framed poem entitled, “Things One Can Learn From A Dog.”


When it came my turn to open a gift we all laughed in delight when I received the same gift, but with all the words changed from dog to hog and the rest of the body changed to reflect the difference between a dog and a hog. It still enjoys a prominent place on my office wall! You may wonder why?


A few years ago I became interested in hog farming so I spent quite a bit of time touring hog farms and studying them. Sandra knew this and was very humored by it since I had never hog farmed before. She just couldn’t picture me as a hog farmer.


When one of her associates misspelled my middle name as Gordan rather than Gordon, Sandra immediately dubbed me, “Dan the Hog Farmer.” This name has stuck with me for almost fifteen years now! In fact, when I was working in New York I went to a restaurant one morning and saw a group of people from Salt Lake City.


The group had come for a Theater Tour. As it turned out, I had a couple of friends in the group so I was able to recognize that they were from Salt Lake. It was wonderful to see them so I came over to say hello and talk for a while. My friends were kind enough introduce me to other members of their group. And, this led to a most unexpected turn of events.


I was introduced to one woman in the group and she got the most surprised look on her face. Since I had never met her before you can imagine this took be back a little! Then it became clear.


She looked at me and exclaimed, “You’re Dan the Hog Farmer?”


My stunned reply was a simple, “Yes.”


Then, said she, “Sandra Johnson has told me all about you. I didn’t expect to meet you in New York City and dress in a suit!” I have laughed at this turn of events for a long time but, I hadn’t thought of this experience for years, because I’m no longer interested in Hog Farming, until this week.


A group of my friends and I had the chance to talk with Kyle Whittingham, Head Coach of the University of Utah Football Team. During our meeting Kyle was asked, “What did you do to inspire your team to have a perfect 13-0 season last year?”


That’s when Kyle said, “I don’t have to inspire them. We recruit great young men. But, if you call one of our players a pig he’ll probably come up and high-five you!”


Then he went on to explain that he taught them about breakfast. “I told them that when they look down at their breakfast, the eggs on the plate came from a chicken. The bacon or ham on the plate came from a pig. The chicken gave a little bit of herself, but the pig was totally committed.” He said. Commitment is the basis for Coach Whittingham’s team. He has created a culture of total commitment.


But, there is something else he has done. He has surrounded his players with great coaches. They are men of skill and ability. They are men who have played the game and are now able to transfer their experience to the players they coach.


While I listened to Coach Whittingham I learned something about pigs I never really examined during the days I was known as “Dan the Hog Farmer.” I learned that there is art to being a great pig and that art can be used to help in many other areas of my life.


To be successful, I need to be committed to a successful outcome and I need to surround myself with people who have successfully done what I hope to do. Then I need to be willing to do what they ask me to do and to perform with accountability and faith.


There were two games where the Utah Football Team had to come from behind in the remaining minutes and seconds of the game to win. Coach Whittingham said, “The team had no doubt they could do it.”


I have no doubt you can do it! You can be successful! Make a commitment, surround yourself with a great coaching staff and have faith in yourself.


In short, go out there and be a pig!

Has Your Chance Passed?

As I was driving with my family one day I saw an ice cream store ahead. I asked if they would like to stop and get some ice cream. They played around for a while and finally said, “Yes.” I said too late, I’ve already passed it!”
- Bertha Clark

Has Your Chance Passed?

Have you ever thought your chance has passed you by? There have been times when I thought this was my plight and when I was talking with some friends last week I knew I wasn’t the only one who has had this experience.

We were talking about some of the challenges that life has thrown our way and I said, “You know, I always think I’m prepared for what may come but I have to tell you, when something does happen I’m never as prepared I thought I was and then I find myself hoping that the challenge is just another “warning shot” so I’ll have time correct the problem.” I guess the truth is that no matter what happens there are always small warnings that come my way, I just have to watch for them and then begin to make adjustments. But, I can tell you that most of the time I spend a lot of time ignoring signs when they appear.

When I said that, my friend Dwight Clark laughed and said, “When some of my grand children were in town visiting once, my wife was out running errands with them in the car when she saw an ice cream store ahead. She asked if they would like to stop and get some ice cream. As kids do, they were playing around in the car so it took them a few moments to respond. When they wanted to stop, she said, too late, I’ve already passed it.”

I’m sure the kids were disappointed at the result of their delay. I feel their pain because I’ve faced the same kind of disappointment many times. But, the advantage I have now is that when this kind of disappointment comes my way I know, through experience, that there will be another ice cream store just up the road! I’d like to give you an example of one friend who really understood this principle when her life changed dramatically.

Marlene Noda had been working in the same position for many years when she found out her employer was making a change that meant she was going to lose her job. As you can imagine that caused her to have pause as to what was going to happen in her life.

One of the things I love about Marlene is that she is able to use all of her assets to her advantage. And, she used this job loss in the same way. Marlene used this forced change in her life to think about what she really loved to do and then go for it. She became a Sushi Chef and began to use her new skills in two different restaurants. Today she is the proprietor of her own restaurant and is recognized as one of the best Sushi Chefs in the Salt Lake City Area. Had she not lost her old job, chances are small that she would have made this amazing change in her life.
There are few things I can guarantee about your life, but I can guarantee one. Change will constantly come. When it does you will be have great opportunity if you’ll but look for it. So here are a couple of small suggestions:

First, look at big changes as big opportunities. If you’re like me at all, you tend to get fairly comfortable with life as is currently is. That isn’t a big motivator for change. I also tend to get pretty upset when things don’t fit my “picture” of how things should be. But, now I’ve found that by viewing disruption as an opportunity, my ability to work through it successfully is greatly enhanced.

Second, have faith in your ability to adapt. Earlier I said that I was never as prepared as I thought I was. Well, that’s only partly true. I’ve developed some skill at being adaptable and it has served me well. My friend Brad Bertoch calls this skill the ability to be a “survivor.” I saw an entire book written about this ability the other day and look forward to reading it. You can’t be prepared for everything, but you can have faith that you will be able to successfully navigate through anything that will come.

Third, now that you have faith in your ability to deal with things as they come up, add a little bit more to that faith. Know that others, and a higher source, will always be there to help you though things. Being a good person means that people love you and they will do more for you than you ever hoped if you just ask for help and give them a chance.

Finally, live the “Every Twenty Minutes Principle.” Know that another train comes to your stop every twenty minutes on average! If you miss one train, another one will come along in just a few minutes! Expect this to be the case for you and your opportunities. You will always have chances! In fact if you look back through your life you’ll find that you’ve had more than one, two or three chances. You’ve had many chances.

And, you’ll have lots more chances in your life, now and in the future. You may lose the chance to have a particular ice cream cone from one particular store, but you’ll have the chance to have another ice cream cone from another store, which will be just as good, if not better, if you just keep driving. Your chance hasn’t passed; it’s just a little further up the road!

The Man in The Grocery Store

“We’re making more money now than ever before.”
- Rachel Nipper

The Man in the Grocery Store

I know a lot of people who have been going through some hard times over the past two or three years. It’s always hard for me to see friends struggle and lose their confidence. The bad news is it’s hard for some. The good news is that the time of pain has ended for others and they are now in the process of healing. I’m old enough now that I’ve have been through this kind of pain/healing cycle before, and I view it a little differently than I did when I was much younger because of one man.



I’ll never forget standing in a grocery store line in Southern California in 1978 getting ready to pay for my groceries. As I stood waiting, I began to read the news paper there on the rack. I was alarmed by the headlines and could feel fear enter my entire body as I gazed at the grim news.



Those were troublesome days. We were struggling through one of the worst gas shortages ever faced in the United States and there seemed to be a war on the horizon. The high cost of gas was one problem but the larger problem was that there wasn’t enough gas. There were days when we would wait in line for four or five hours and hope there was gas left when we got to the pump. Many times I had waited only to have the station attendant put a “last car” sign on the car in front of me!



One of my close friends, a physician who would drive from Orange County to LA County every day for work, would have his teen aged daughter take the car and wait in the gas line every evening; she could do her home work while doing a huge favor for her father. It was difficult for the entire family, but they pulled together and made it through the gas shortage.



The gas shortage wasn’t what was on my mind as I stood and read headlines in the check-outline. Those headlines were even scarier to me because it looked as if the United States was heading to war and I just happened to be the right age to be drafted.



On the day I said I would never forget, in the grocery store line, there was a man standing behind me. He must have seen a look of fear on my face because he started to talk with me. After a little small talk, I confessed to him that I was really scared. Then I watched his face change and I witnessed a new power build within him. His serious tone sprung out as a crescendo as he said, “I fought in World War II.”



“We were scared then, just as you are now. But, we did what we needed to do, and so will you when the time comes.”



He said those words with such surety I believed him through and through. He gave me courage and hope. He had lived through dark times and had prepared the way for me to have a bright future. I was grateful to him then for his encouraging words and service and I’m still grateful to him these many years later. One of the strange things about my gratitude is that I’ve never even known his name, or anything else about him. So, he has forever remained “the man in the grocery store” to me.



Now I’m passing his words of hope and courage to you. I hope they’ll comfort you the way they’ve comforted me. They have proven to be true hundreds of times over throughout my life.



My friends Mark and Rachel Nipper are the perfect example of The Grocery Store Man’s truth. A little over a year ago Mark lost his job and things looked bleak for their little family. There were days when they didn’t think they would be able to make it through their struggles.



Today I’m happy to say that not only did they make it through their dark time, they’re thriving. Just this week Rachel said, “We’re making more now than we ever have!” They’re building their bright future together and creating a solid foundation for their two sons. You can do it too!



I saw another head line in the news this week. It read, “Unemployment 8. 5%.” But, what it said to me was, “91.5% of the people in the U.S. are employed!” I thought that was great news because almost all of us are still doing well.



Yes, I know you’re scared. I’ve been scared too, but I’ve always done what I needed to do and so have you. So, the next time you’re standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, pass on the good news!

The Process of Unfolding

“The challenges I’ve faced in my life have created opportunities to grow and become more powerful.”
- Steve Farley

Use Life’s Challenges to Unfold Personal Power

I ‘m just learning to develop my personal ability to enjoy a life process I call “unfolding.” The best way I can describe unfolding is to give you a small example you may have already experienced for yourself.

If you’re like me, you’ve had the regular chance to strip the old linens from you bed and replace them with freshly laundered ones. And, if you’re like me, this has’nt been one your most loved chores! While this is still the case for me, it changed markedly when I got a cat.

My cat goes by several names; Binx (my name for him), Simba (my children’s name for him), and Bobby (my wife’s name for him). We have had this cat now for fourteen years so it doesn’t matter what name he goes by; he’s an institution in our household.

I call him an institution because there is no other way we would have put up with him this long! He has never been a very friendly cat and has had a “bad attitude” ever since we rescued him from the animal shelter. Yet, even with his nasty disposition he has clawed his way into our hearts and now these many years later he has mellowed a great deal.

When he first came to live with us, my young daughters were so terrified of him that they could not go to bed unescorted. He would lie in wait for them to make their way to their beds and spring just at the right moment to attack their bare, unprotected feet. That’s when I began to discover his power to teach me the principle of unfolding!

This nightly ritual had a tendency to put our children’s beds into a horribly rumpled state. And, since bedraggled bedding sort of impels one to tidy things up a bit, my wife and I were always in the bed making business, or so it seemed.

Since I perceived this bed making to be an unpleasant task, I’m quite sure I became as grumpy as our bad-attitude-cat. There is no question that this cat had a thing about beds from the beginning of our relationship and that relationship reached a crescendo a little over twelve years ago when he attacked me in my own bed in the middle of the night.

There I was, sleeping away when I felt something wet running down my arm! I leapt from my bed and began chasing the cat throughout the house yelling, “I’m going to tear your head off!”
Soon, my children and wife were chasing me, chasing the cat, crying and begging me not to kill the cat. Gladly, cooler heads prevailed and the cat kept on living so he could continue to teach me about unfolding in a more playful way.

By now you can see that my life had turned into the life of a bed chamber maid because I was spending time daily tidying up our beds. But, that’s when something curious started to happen. When the cat saw the activity of making a bed, he would jump up onto the bed so as to be trapped under the sheets! This is when he would be the most playful and have fun. It’s also when we would have the most fun with the cat.

The interesting thing is that we were only doing the additional work as a result of the cat and that the work then became a game. As you can see from this story, the cat created a number of challenges for me and my family. At the same time, the challenges created the opportunity for us to discover new joy and happiness we would not have discovered otherwise.

This reveals the important concept I talked with you about earlier, the process of unfolding. The process of unfolding is: It is impossible for a person to see everything at once. The path of life can only be wholly revealed in stages or pieces. Once I began to understand this process I began to relax more and look at the unfolding as a game or fun.

The fun comes from the knowledge that unfolding creates anticipation. The anticipation can only come as a result of being “blind to the future.” Once I started viewing the process of unfolding as a game, it became easier for me to accept and enjoy!

I know you’ve had challenges in your life and that will not change. Now that you have been introduced to the process of unfolding you can begin to use the process to your advantage. Know that there is no way for you to see all the answers you’re seeking right now; especially while you may be severely challenged! Know that by paying attention to the process of unfolding you will have important things revealed to you just when you need them. Cherish this knowledge and use it as a comfort now and in the future.

There may be cats waiting to attack your bare feet in the dark, but those same cats may be able to provide you with joy and happiness in the near future. I know this is a true principle; look to it to for understanding, strength and anticipation of a great future!