The Process of Unfolding

“The challenges I’ve faced in my life have created opportunities to grow and become more powerful.”
- Steve Farley

Use Life’s Challenges to Unfold Personal Power

I ‘m just learning to develop my personal ability to enjoy a life process I call “unfolding.” The best way I can describe unfolding is to give you a small example you may have already experienced for yourself.

If you’re like me, you’ve had the regular chance to strip the old linens from you bed and replace them with freshly laundered ones. And, if you’re like me, this has’nt been one your most loved chores! While this is still the case for me, it changed markedly when I got a cat.

My cat goes by several names; Binx (my name for him), Simba (my children’s name for him), and Bobby (my wife’s name for him). We have had this cat now for fourteen years so it doesn’t matter what name he goes by; he’s an institution in our household.

I call him an institution because there is no other way we would have put up with him this long! He has never been a very friendly cat and has had a “bad attitude” ever since we rescued him from the animal shelter. Yet, even with his nasty disposition he has clawed his way into our hearts and now these many years later he has mellowed a great deal.

When he first came to live with us, my young daughters were so terrified of him that they could not go to bed unescorted. He would lie in wait for them to make their way to their beds and spring just at the right moment to attack their bare, unprotected feet. That’s when I began to discover his power to teach me the principle of unfolding!

This nightly ritual had a tendency to put our children’s beds into a horribly rumpled state. And, since bedraggled bedding sort of impels one to tidy things up a bit, my wife and I were always in the bed making business, or so it seemed.

Since I perceived this bed making to be an unpleasant task, I’m quite sure I became as grumpy as our bad-attitude-cat. There is no question that this cat had a thing about beds from the beginning of our relationship and that relationship reached a crescendo a little over twelve years ago when he attacked me in my own bed in the middle of the night.

There I was, sleeping away when I felt something wet running down my arm! I leapt from my bed and began chasing the cat throughout the house yelling, “I’m going to tear your head off!”
Soon, my children and wife were chasing me, chasing the cat, crying and begging me not to kill the cat. Gladly, cooler heads prevailed and the cat kept on living so he could continue to teach me about unfolding in a more playful way.

By now you can see that my life had turned into the life of a bed chamber maid because I was spending time daily tidying up our beds. But, that’s when something curious started to happen. When the cat saw the activity of making a bed, he would jump up onto the bed so as to be trapped under the sheets! This is when he would be the most playful and have fun. It’s also when we would have the most fun with the cat.

The interesting thing is that we were only doing the additional work as a result of the cat and that the work then became a game. As you can see from this story, the cat created a number of challenges for me and my family. At the same time, the challenges created the opportunity for us to discover new joy and happiness we would not have discovered otherwise.

This reveals the important concept I talked with you about earlier, the process of unfolding. The process of unfolding is: It is impossible for a person to see everything at once. The path of life can only be wholly revealed in stages or pieces. Once I began to understand this process I began to relax more and look at the unfolding as a game or fun.

The fun comes from the knowledge that unfolding creates anticipation. The anticipation can only come as a result of being “blind to the future.” Once I started viewing the process of unfolding as a game, it became easier for me to accept and enjoy!

I know you’ve had challenges in your life and that will not change. Now that you have been introduced to the process of unfolding you can begin to use the process to your advantage. Know that there is no way for you to see all the answers you’re seeking right now; especially while you may be severely challenged! Know that by paying attention to the process of unfolding you will have important things revealed to you just when you need them. Cherish this knowledge and use it as a comfort now and in the future.

There may be cats waiting to attack your bare feet in the dark, but those same cats may be able to provide you with joy and happiness in the near future. I know this is a true principle; look to it to for understanding, strength and anticipation of a great future!

Choosing Wealth

“You have to decide whether you want to pursue power or money.”
- J.K. Morrison

Choosing Wealth

When I had completed the requirements of my graduate degree I had the opportunity to have an exit interview with the chairman of my committee, J.K. Morrison. It was a chance for us to sit in an informal setting to talk about the work we had done together. This was a momentous occasion for me since Dr. Morrison was a Fulbright Scholar and I had tremendous respect for him.

He had required me to work beyond what I thought myself capable of. He had taught me the value of hard work and had shown me the importance of perseverance. During our first year together he called me into his office and said, “Up to now you have relied upon your talent. That’s not going to be enough anymore. I’m going to make sure you’re stretched to your limit. You’re going to have to work hard now.”

Little did I know then what was in store for me. The class work was difficult and demanding, but the work to complete my thesis was overwhelming! There were many times I wanted to quit, but something kept me working. Once, during a family dinner, my wife’s aunt asked me how long my thesis was and I replied, “Five years!”

Dr. Morrison said, “I don’t know when I knew you’d finish, but I knew you would. Out of the thirty-two graduate students whose committee I’ve chaired you’re one of three that finished their thesis.”

Believe me, I wish I had known that before I asked him to be the chair of my committee! And, it was only when I turned my thesis in to the Thesis Editing Office that I truly understood what my work meant.

I asked the person who logged my submission in how long it would take for them to review my thesis for approval. She looked at my paper work and said, “You wrote under the direction of Dr. Morrison?”

“Yes,” said I.

She then pulled out her stamp. She then stamped the form and said, “We don’t need to do a review, you’re done!”

It was then that I knew that I had completed something of quality and worth. It wasn’t even the document that mattered. It isn’t the document that matters now, these many years later. It is the experience that has mattered to me the whole time.

What Dr. Morrison had done was give me an invaluable experience to help me with the rest of my life! He taught me a great deal. But, perhaps the most important lesson he taught me took place in that last interview.

At the end of the interview he said, “Now you have a decision to make. You have to decide whether you want to pursue power or money. But whatever you choose I want you to keep one thing in mind. I have a friend who is the former CEO of a Fortune 500 company. We met for dinner one night to go through some details related to a project I had just completed for him. At the end of the dinner he asked me to come to his home and spend the rest of the evening with him. I told him I had other obligations. He then asked me to do him a personal favor and come.”

“When we got to his palatial home it was empty!” It wasn’t empty of material things. It was empty of family!” Dr. Morrison went on to explain to me that in this man’s efforts to obtain “everything the world had to offer” he had lost what was most valuable; his family.”

I have never forgotten that poignant talk with my mentor and teacher in a small room at the University of Utah. I have never forgotten that last and most valuable lesson he taught me.
Now I have children of my own to whom I’ve tried to teach this lesson. So far, they keep coming back home so I guess I’ve succeed to a point. The coming generation will truly tell the tale.
So, now you know that I was given a choice to make in that last interview and you’re most likely asking yourself, “I wonder what choice he made.”

Well, I made a very conscious choice to pursue wealth. Ah, those of you that know me quite well may say, his wealth isn’t too impressive yet! And, if you were to look at my balance sheet you’d have to conclude that I’m not anywhere near to the list of the wealthiest people in the world. But, I made my choice and I am wealthy indeed!

When I go home at night after a long day of toil, I go home to a house full of people and animals that love me! So, I truly did learn a great deal from Dr. Morrison. I learned that if person has persistence and works hard at building and maintaining relationships they will live a life full of the greatest kind of wealth.

There’s plenty of this kind of wealth to go around! I consider you as a part of my wealth too. Let’s keep building relationships that will give love and fulfillment to everyone we have the chance to offer it to!