Pen, Paper, Depth and Purpose

“I built all of my relationships through hand-written notes.” – Bob Gottdener

Pen, Paper, Depth and Purpose

I’ve heard Bob say over and over again that the most important thing a person can do to build a strong personal relationship is to simply pull out a pen and some stationery.  But, I guess I’ve never really believed it.  Until now!

The reason I believe it now is because I’ve spent the last year participating in virtual meetings.  And, today was another one of those meeting days.  I’m sure someone else can regale you with some kind of statistics about how valuable those meetings are, and have been, because of how much time and effort they save; how safe they’ve made our lives.  Maybe, but all I can do is to tell you that today, I sat in my car for the entirety of a virtual meeting, right in the parking lot adjoining my office building.  When it was over I got out of my car and walked through the office doors and as part of the real world.

“It was great to see you in the virtual meeting.”  I said to each of the three people I wanted to see face-to-face while handing each of them one of those hand-written notes Bob Gottdener has talked with me about all these years.

Yep!  Paper!  Pen!  My virtual communication device was buried deep in my pocket. And that’s exactly where I wanted it to be.  Because even after receiving all of the so-called benefits of our year-long virtual life, my preferred method of communication is still face-to-face and pen-to-paper.  It doesn’t save me time or effort, but it does something much more important. It lets me see and get a very personal feel for the people I’m communicating with.  In short, it’s much more satisfying.

“My territory used to include Alaska.”  Bob once said to me during dinner.  “You want to know why I was so successful there?  I’d get on that plane, head home to Los Angeles, and write a personal note to everyone I’d met with.  When I got off the plane I simply dropped each note into the post box at the airport.”

I remember teasing Bob about his airplane note writing scheme for weeks on end.  I’d tell him that I was sure he was right, that just writing notes would change the world!  Now, the funny thing is that when the world did virtually change, so did my belief about those same now-not-so-silly notes.

And today, rather than feeling silly after dropping those heart-felt notes into the hands of real live people, in the real world, I had to smile, and talk to myself, as I walked out of the building door.

“I guess you’ve been right after all, my friend!”  I said to Bob, while knowing he would never hear me across the deserts and mountains, as he was likely sitting in his home which is nestled on cliffs of the Palos Verdes Peninsula. 

The vision of Bob sitting there made me want to drive right to the airport, get on an airplane, write a personal note of surrender and then rent a car so I could drive down the road, from LAX to Bob’s place.  Yet, I fought this desire, knowing I could still follow his example by writing the note in my car and then drop it in one of those big blue USPS post boxes.

“I built all of my relationships through hand-written notes.” Bob said to me over and over again through the many years of our association together.  He always said that the most important thing a person can do to build a strong personal relationship is to simply pull out a pen and some stationery, and then write.  But, I guess I’ve never really believed it.  Until now!

I believe it now because I just handed personalized notes to some colleagues.  It allowed me to see a smile radiating from their eyes.  I heard and felt the warmth from their voice.  But most importantly, I felt something more.  It wasn’t the glare from a screen.  It was honest to goodness friendship.  The kind that gives depth and purpose to a life.  Every life.

Think of the Results

Robert Mulari

Think of the Results

Rob moved in across the street from me a few years ago.  The first thing I noticed about him was how he loved to have good fun.  I would see him racing around on a bicycle or an ATV on a regular basis.  He always had a huge smile on his face and it was that smile that made me want to get to know him better.

As I spent time getting to know him, I learned that he was a pastor who had decided to move from Arizona with his family to my neighborhood.  But, he isn’t just a pastor.  His passion is being a pastor of youth.

Rob and his whole family, Kelly – his wife and his two children, are all dedicated to helping troubled youth.  Their last few years have been focused on teenaged girls at Alpine Academy where they work tirelessly to make a difference in the world, one girl at a time.  He once told me that he knows if he can “change the life of one girl, he can change generations of lives in the future.”

I watched him changing the future just three days ago when I worked with him in his home.  His face gave off a radiant, welcoming glow as soon as he walked in the door.  The entire feeling of the house changed just because he entered.  He took the time to greet each person there.  It didn’t matter how old they were or what they looked like.  He confidently smiled and focused on each individual.

I watched him work with each person in a dedicated, kind and loving way.  He was directing the whole household while shifting potential conflict into quiet harmony.  In fact, he was able to offer gentile suggestions in way that made everyone want to work together.  No one felt defensive at all.

It was clear that not everyone was on the same page when he entered.  Others disagreed with him.  Yet, his loving approach disarmed everyone completely.  He very effectively demonstrated that a person could disagree with others and not be disagreeable!  I stood in admiration of his skill and presence!

When I left and tried to focus on other things, my mind was not willing to shake his example.  “If I could only master Rob’s gentle approach!”  If I could disagree with others and not be disagreeable I could live with less stress.  I could be happier.  I could more effectively improve the lives of generations to come.

Think of the results.   Think of the results if you and I were to do this together!

Faith in Faith

“We didn’t know anyone here, but when we made the decision to move everything just fell into place.” –Rod McDaniels

Faith in Faith

I’ll never forget the first phone call I received from Rod.  We had never met before so it was a sort of “shot in the dark” that we came to meet.  He had just accepted a new job in Salt Lake City, was preparing to move his family and needed some help in finding the right place.

“I can’t believe it’s been three years.” Rod said to me.

We were talking about his work and family.  We were also talking about the scary news we’ve been braving for the last few years.  There is a lot to worry about.  We are seemingly in a continual war and the front seems to be expanding rather than coming to a close.  Now we’re hearing about the Ebola outbreak that is causing even the bravest among us to shudder at a possible global epidemic.  With such horrific news all around us is it possible to live with faith in a bright future?

“You know, when I lost my job in Las Vegas it appeared as if we were in a situation where there was no way out!” Rod painted his picture for me.  “We didn’t know anyone here, but when we made the decision to move, everything just fell into place.”

Now he and his family live in a beautiful home in the Salt Lake City area and his family is blossoming.  “I work with great people.  They’re real sharp and I’m lucky to associate with them.”  He told me.

“Sometimes its hard to have faith in faith.”  I said.  Then I thought about the earlier part of our conversation!  I began to think about the similarities between Rod’s previous position and our world’s situation.  Right now it appears as if there is no way out of the distress we’re facing.  And, human tendency is lose hope, to just sit and try to keep things as they are.  But, that isn’t what my friend Rod did!

Rod hoped for a better.  He had prepared himself in every aspect of his life for success, so he made the decision to think past his familiar life and apply his skills toward a new and potentially brighter future.  In doing so he knew that he was moving away from family and friends.  It was a little scary.

But, he found that his fear was soon overcome as he took his first steps toward a new life.  He found a new job, friends, home and opportunities as he walked forward while relying on his internal compass.  Then he combined these additions to his life with his friends and family still living in Las Vegas.

He looked at me and smiled, “We just got back from my wife’s, sister’s wedding.  It was great to be back with our family and spend time with them.  And, we have a great life here.  We love it.”

There is a lot to love about life, even when we face what appear to be insurmountable challenges.  It is during such times that we need to do what Rod does.  He has faith in faith.

FIve Keys to Seeing Around Obstacles

“I won’t!”

Five Keys to Seeing Around Obstacles

Four friends recently contacted me.  They were reaching out to speak with me about employment.  Three were looking to find a new position and one was updating me on his new found work.  Two of the four stood out from the others in striking ways.

The one with the new position has worked with me for an extended period of time.  I’ll never forget the first time I met him.  He showed me he was different from most other people immediately because all I ever heard from him was, “Yes.  I’ll get that done and report back to you!”

As a result of his willingness to work I found myself relying on him more and more.  He always did what he said he’d do and his work was exemplary.  It wasn’t long before I trusted him completely.  So, when he told me he had accepted a position with a group of people I knew well I wasn’t surprised.  I knew he’d be a great asset for his new employer.  He’ll be successful in everything he does because of the way he thinks.

When he’s working he looks to see what needs to be done and he does it.  He is cheerful and positive about his work.  I’ve seen him work under great pressure with long hours without complaint.  He is intent on obtaining greater knowledge so he can become the best he can be.  He has surrounded himself with people he wants to emulate so he can become like them.  He has embodied the “Five Key Principles of Success” quickly and at an early age.

Another friend, of similar age, called to speak with me to get advice about how to find success in his search for work.  Early on in one of our conversations he pulled out a list.  I was a little surprised at first.  I couldn’t remember anyone writing a list in preparation for such a meeting with me.  But, the real surprise wasn’t revealed until he began to go through the list item by item.

It was a list of things he wouldn’t do!  He detailed days and times he wouldn’t work and then went on to outlined industries he would work in.  In short, it was a list of “I won’t!”

He wasn’t through the fourth point on his list when I felt a rumbling begin down in the center of my core.  I was no longer listening to the exact words coming from his mouth.  All I heard was, I won’t and I was interpreting it into a response of, “I can’t help you!”   I felt sick inside because I vividly remembered what my friend Gaynell Instefjord once taught me.

Gaynell said, “Successful people see ways around obstacles.  They don’t focus on the obstacle itself.”

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I’ve noticed that the most difficult times I face are the direct result of seeing obstacles instead of opportunity.   When I do that the obstacles get larger and larger with every passing moment.  I begin to be filled with despair.

But, I’ve also noticed that obstacles crumble into dust as soon as I focus on what I can do to get around them.  A small amount of effort produces an astonishing result and momentum with an accompanying peace of mind.

You and I have opportunity to enjoy success and peace of mind. Let’s reach into our pockets and jingle the Five Keys.  See how they feel.  Then pull them out and use them.

Seeing Your Life as Extraordinary

“He bought 3 sweet potatoes from the grocery store and he harvested 139 pounds of potatoes as a result.” – Kilee Johnson

Seeing Your Life as Extraordinary

I got a call from someone I’ve done business with in the past on Saturday.

“Hi Lynn.  What’s up with you?” He asked.

“Nothing really.” I replied.  I’m just doing what I do every day; ordinary things.”

There it was again.  I was saying that I was only doing ordinary things, as if doing the ordinary would never be very exciting or make a difference at all. “Why do I do that?” I said to myself as I began to think of another conversation I recently had with Kilee Johnson.

Kilee is really in to gardening.  When we talked last she was telling me how an acquaintance of hers had purchased 3 sweet potatoes from his local grocery store last year.  Rather than eat them he decided to prepare them to plant and put them in his garden.  By the end of the harvest cycle those 3 sweet potatoes had grown 139 pounds for him to eat; an impressive return, that I thought of as being extraordinary!  But for him, the result was viewed as ordinary, something that he does on a regular basis, nothing special.  So, Extraordinary and ordinary are different for every person. 

Many years ago I was on a plane from New York to London.  I was talking with a man seated next to me and he asked why I was traveling.  I responded with, “I’m just going to Saudi Arabia to finish up a transaction.  It’s nothing out of the ordinary.”

“You mean it’s nothing out of the ordinary for you!”  He said.  “That isn’t anywhere near normal for most people.”

So, when one talks about what’s ordinary, it’s always from a personal perspective.  It is not necessarily the way someone else views it. Extraordinary is in the eye of the beholder! 

Remember that when a friend calls and asks what you’ve been up to.  What you’re doing right now may seem normal, perhaps even as drudgery.  But, it has the potential to yield something amazing in the not too different future.  The most successful people I know focus on doing small, mundane things on a daily basis.  It’s what sets them a part.  It’s what makes their results extraordinary.

See your life as extraordinary.  Others who don’t do what you do everyday see your unique talents as something special.

Precipice Dancing

“It seems to be a universal principle that whenever I declare that I’ll reach a goal or have something, that there will be a time when I’m tested; I’ll be required to wrestle with every bit of strength I have to demonstrate that I really want it!”

–Jacob

Precipice Dancing

Have you ever looked at someone you know well; someone who has it all, the people my friend Robert Crooks calls “the beautiful people,” and wondered at their ability to be seemingly free to accomplish everything they ever desire?   I certainly have and for many of my younger years I believed such people were simply lucky!  Then I noticed that it was the same people who were “lucky” over and over again.

Steven Maranville, one of the most insightful business consultants I know, and I sat in comfortable chairs around a small table in a glass skyscraper this week and had a conversation about this very phenomenon just three days ago.

“A huge segment of society thinks there is “security” to be had by working for someone else.  But, that isn’t the case.  When you do that, someone else controls your destiny.” Steven said.

That made me really think about destiny and made me wonder if anyone really controls their own destiny.  My mind raced from corner to corner testing the concept of destiny and control.  Does anyone really have the ability to decide what their future will be and then go out and make it come to pass?  Then I thought of the lucky ones again and knew that they understood principles that others don’t seem to.

“The successful entrepreneurs I know seem to be good at living on the brink.” I said to Steven.  “Perhaps that’s what sets them apart.  They have the ability to make a goal and then work toward that goal while they’re living on the precipice of disaster a lot of the time.”

It was at that moment, when the words had just slipped past my lips, that I vividly remembered my friend Jacob and what he had taught me.  Jacob is one of the most amazing people I know about.  He is successful in every corner of his life.  His business is amazing.  He is spiritually centered.  He looks great and is in wonderful shape.  He’s the “poster child” for the word amazing!

Jacob once said to me, “It seems to be a universal principle that whenever I declare that I’ll reach a goal or have something, that there will be a time when I’m tested; I’ll be required to wrestle with every bit of my strength to demonstrate that I really want it, that its mine!”  Then he went on to tell me about his personal story and how there was one time in particular when thought he was completely spent, but wasn’t.

“I had this vision about my life and its rewards.  I had done alright, but I wanted to do more that well!  I wanted to have it all!” He recounted.  “Once, when I was tired, night was just beginning, I thought I’d just quit for the day.  Then the vision of what I wanted rushed vividly through my whole body and I wanted it more than anything I’ve ever wanted, so I wrestled the entire night until I was granted the outcome I wanted!”

“Granted?” I replied.

“Yes, granted!” He said with a smile.  “It wasn’t until I gave myself the permission to see that I was just like everyone else, others were not any smarter than I was and they didn’t have more answers than I did, and that what I wanted was already in my possession, that my life really changed.  So, while others thought I was taking big risks, I knew I had already succeeded.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t challenged any more, I just knew the outcome so I just worked with confidence through obstacles as they presented themselves.”

“So, one person’s dangerous cliff is another’s play ground?” I asked.

“Yes!  I live on that edge so it is comfortable to me.  It’s exhilarating, challenging and fulfilling to me.  It’s all in the way you look at it.  You have to grant yourself the permission to live and thrive there while knowing you’ve already succeeded.” Jacob answered.

You’ve already succeeded too.  Grant yourself the permission to own your successful future today.  It’s yours for the taking.  Will dancing on the precipice be dangerous or exhilarating, challenging and fulfilling to you?  The answer is inside of you.  Wrestle it out today.

When You Have a Good Heart

“When you have a good heart it comes back just when you need it.”
- Judith Rasoletti

When You Have a Good Heart

My friend Steve Farley spent the morning working in his yard. He has a very large yard and it’s a lot of work. Just the fence maintenance alone is enough to send shivers down my spine. I say that because I know he has to have a lot of fence to fix because he has goats.

Goats eat just about everything and they also seem to climb up just about anything. I’ve seen them seemingly walk straight up a fence without breaking a sweat! They just get in to a lot of trouble. Steve doesn’t mind though I guess, because he has quite a few goats.

He also keeps a few hives of bees. He was telling me once that “after a while you get used to being stung.” Sorry Steve, I don’t think I would ever get used to it!

I have gotten used to the sweet taste of the exceptional honey he harvests from his beehives. Whenever he’s kind enough to share some with us my whole family gets a greedy look in their eyes the minute it hits the inside of our house. I love the way my girls act calm and proper as he’s giving it to us and then change instantly as soon as they know it’s safe to devour it!

Lots of things change instantly in a person’s life and Steve is no exception. After working in his yard for the morning he still had the energy to work out! He works out like a demon on steroids so he’s in good shape. He’s in real good shape considering the fact that he had his hips replaced a few years ago. I guess he just keeps on moving.

Well, after working out he did just that. He kept moving and went on a walk with a couple of his kids. Then his back started to hurt so he came back in the house to rest.

When the pain in his back became unbearable his wife took him to the hospital where they began to work on controlling the pain. They thought he had pinched a nerve in his back due to his activity so they were monitoring him as if he wasn’t in a life threatening situation.

His wife was there with him when he looked at her and said, “Something’s wrong.”

She stepped out of the room to find someone and when they came back in just moments later he was flat lining!

As it turns out, he did not have a pinched nerve in his back. He had a problem with his heart! And, once the doctors knew that they changed their treatment immediately.

Somehow blood had begun to pool and clot inside one of the chambers of his heart and when a clot began to be pumped out of the chamber it clogged the valve and very little blood, if anything could get through. So, the doctors dissolved the clot and things got better quickly.

To the casual observer it would appear as if Steve has a bad heart. I guess you could say that’s true. But, I know that’s not really the case. I know he has a good heart. How do I know?
I know because anyone who can love a herd of goats has to have a good heart. You know I’m just joking! I know because I watch what he does around my neighborhood. He’s known as the “person with a good heart” because of all of the kindness he shows to everyone.

Kind of interesting to know that about him now isn’t it?

Of course you know I’m talking about a different kind of heart here. But, it’s just as important as the organ we’ve been talking about. People with good hearts make our communities great places to live. You can always tell what kind of contribution someone’s making by what people say when misfortune occurs.

That’s the way it was with Steve. Everywhere I’ve gone, everyone I‘ve spoken with has asked me about his health and if he is going to be alright. They’ve also started to come to help with meals and mundane things such as yard work.

With all this going on around me you can see why I took what Judith Rasoletti said to heart. She knows what she’s talking about. After all, she came here on vacation and loved it so much she packed up her life in Miami and moved here. I love the way she has opened her heart to make such a difference here.

She’s made such a difference here that others have stepped up to help her just when she really needed the help. It’s a beautiful thing when the help comes and it is recognized as a blessing by the receiver!

I know you may be having your struggles right now just like my friends Steve and Judith. But, if there is one thing I know for sure it’s that good things will happen for you right when you need them to. I’ve seen it too many times to deny it. So, start to look for the good to begin to come and you’ll see it; but make sure you’re open to receiving the goodness in ways you haven’t anticipated. That’s what will make it truly miraculous!

Does Your Brand Have Value?

“Branding is some form of connecting.”
-Mark W. Hurst

Does Your Brand Have Value in Your Market Place?

Cattle trotting on a dirt road in the heat of the day are not something I’m used to seeing anymore. But, that wasn’t always the case. I have visions of dust bellowing up and swirling around brown and white cows as they march through my memories. Perhaps the strangest thing about this haunting is my still clear view of their hot, panting faces.

These cows had just been branded and dehorned so they had blood streaming down the sides of their cheeks. This accentuated the anguished look they threw my way as they passed. It was a scene fairly common to me at the time, but it always had a huge impact on me. I remember asking my parents why the cattle looked that way and why the local ranchers did it to them.
Branding, they told me, was necessary. It was the way a rancher marked his property. These cattle were now advertising to the world who owned them and what ranch they belonged to. It was a way of telling everyone who they were and what their purpose was.

Their horns were a different story altogether. My parents told me that the horns were removed so the cows wouldn’t hurt each other when they were in holding pens or being shipped somewhere on a truck. It was all very logical and business like. But it was never that way for me. Perhaps that’s why I never got into the cattle business. I just couldn’t live all those faces trotting around in my head.

So, at a tender age, I stayed in the soda bottle business. I’d spend all day walking the ditches looking for discarded bottles. They were easy to gather up and return to the small store in town in exchange for coins I could use to purchase candy and other bottles filled with refreshing, cold bubbling drinks. I didn’t understand it then but these bottles were branded as well.

All of these memories came roaring back to me this week as I listened to Mark Hurst make a presentation about branding. I really hadn’t thought how much branding had been such a big part of my life until I sat there listening and pondering.

“I wonder what my personal brand is telling everyone around me.” I thought to myself. I don’t have a burn mark on my skin telling people where I’m from and where my life is centered. But I do consume products. I drink branded beverages. I wear branded clothing. I drive branded cars. I eat branded food.

All of these things communicate something about me. The people selling these brands have taken the time get to know people like me. They know what I do with my life and they’ve created a pretty good connection with me.

For example, I can always tell you what Mountain Dew is going to taste like. I can describe what the label looks like. Each “Dew” holds a promise that must be delivered with each sip. It tells me that I can always count on receiving a consistent product. It tells me what kind of quality to expect.

Now I have to wonder if I deliver the same quality of product to the world. Do the people I live and work with know exactly what they’ll get from me? Have they come to know what kind of grooming I’ll do? Do they know they can trust me to give them my best effort every day? Do they feel good enough about me to invite me into their office or their home?

Take a while to really think about yourself as a major global brand. What kind of people would you want to take you home with them? What kinds of activities would you like to be invited to participate in? If someone was to put you on display in their home what room would they place you in? How much money would people be willing to pay for you? Would others want you as part of their life?

When people speak your name, I hope they do so with loving thoughts. I hope they think kind thoughts about you. I hope they want to introduce you to everyone they know.

You can create your own brand! Do your market research and determine who you want your customer to be (who you want to live your life with). Make sure you’re able to tell your story to them through your words and actions. Put yourself in a position to have great conversations with your customers (Family, friends, co-workers). Really connect with them on a deep level.

The truth is that your personal brand is all you have. Make sure it’s a great one!

P.S. Monday’s Warm Cocoa is now easier than ever to give to others. Ask your friends to go to http://www.mondayswarmcocoa.com/ so they can enjoy what you’ve been enjoying.

Are There Fish in Your Fishing Hole?

“I read an article that said there was no business where you are.”
- Brad Burnside

Are There Fish in Your Fishing Hole?

When I was a young boy I loved to fish. I especially liked to go to the high Uinta Mountains, in Utah, and fish for native Cut Throat Trout in the streams and lakes. These fish are called Cut Throat because of the bright red color along their throat. The reason I loved to fish for them was because of their taste and their fight.

There were days when I would leave camp with not much more than my fishing pole, knowing that I would catch fish, build a fire and then enjoy eating fresh fish for lunch and dinner. I can’t remember a time I ever went hungry because my father had taught me the right kind of fly to use in these mountains. I don’t know where he learned what to use, but I knew he was experienced so I took his word for it. As a result, I never wanted for a tug on my line.

When I was about fifteen I had the opportunity to be in the Youth Conservation Corp in these same mountains. There was a lot of work to be done. We maintained hiking trails, banded geese, repaired camp grounds and learned about the ecology of the high country. I thought it was a wonderful summer because I got to fish almost every day.

We lived in a big camp and huge tents. I don’t know how many of us there were, but I’d say we were sort of a teen aged army living in the forest. Of course, we had counselors to act as our guides and teachers so we learned a lot as we lived and worked together.

One of our counselors was from Pennsylvania. He had been hired because he was a fishing expert. He would work with us during the day and then in the evenings and on weekends he would take us out to fish.

I remember our first outing together. I took my fishing gear and began to get it ready at the side of the lake so I could fish. He asked me if I needed help and I told him no!

He looked at the end of my line and then said, “You won’t catch anything with that.”
I just looked up at him and smiled saying, “We’ll see.”

It wasn’t long before he saw that I was the only one in the group catching fish! He couldn’t understand it. Finally when I had caught my limit he came over and asked me what I was using because he had never seen it before.

The next time we went to a town for supplies and to do laundry I watched him slip off to the local fishing store. When we were fishing next he was catching fish! He was smart enough to change the way he did things so he could be successful!

I have been thinking of this because I was driving in the Park City area yesterday and noticed a man fishing at a local pond. I didn’t think much about it when I saw him at a distance, but when I got closer I realized why he had caught my eye. I never saw people fishing at that pond!
The reason I never saw people fishing at that pond is that there are no fish at that pond! Now, I don’t know why he was there for sure. Perhaps he was just practicing his casting. Perhaps he was just practicing his patience! If the latter is correct then he picked the right spot! He would never catch a fish there.

And, sadly these many years after my teen aged years, I learned on a radio program that there are very few places where one can catch Bonneville Cut Throat Trout in these mountains I have called home. They have been replaced by rainbow trout. I can still catch fish, but they don’t taste the same and they don’t fight the same, so fishing isn’t the same for me anymore. But when I fish, I make sure I go to a body of water that has fish.

A friend of mine told me he had been really struggling with his business. He said asked me if an article he had read about business in my area was true. I asked him what it said. He said that there wasn’t any business happening.

I asked him if the person writing the article was from Pennsylvania. Of course he couldn’t know I was thinking of my dear fishing friend of many years ago.

He looked at me in a puzzled way before saying, “I don’t think so.”

“Things change in life all the time and everywhere we look. It will always be so.” I said. “Things are going well for me. Just make sure you use the right bait, fish in a pond with fish, and go to work when the fish are biting!”

“It may be a blessing in disguise”
- Annie Butterfield

Swimming Against the Tide

Have you ever had your eye fixed on a goal only to find that things haven’t worked out the way you wanted them to? Have you ever struggled with creating an outcome you wanted, only to find that nothing you can do will cause it to come into being? I call it “swimming against the tide.”

I don’t know if you’ve ever had experience swimming in the ocean or not. I haven’t had a lot of ocean swimming experience so I don’t know a lot about it, but I had heard about a phenomenon called a rip tide and I had seen signs on the beach warning of rip tide conditions. But that didn’t prepare me for an experience with one.

When I was in college some friends and I decided to travel to Mexico for spring break. We went to Acapulco to spend time in the sand and warm ocean air. It was a wonderful break from the snow, cold and wind we were experiencing at the University of Utah.

There were four of us on this adventure and we were drinking in the sunshine. We found some new friends and spent our days and nights drowning in the moment. It was a trip to remember!

One day we went to out of town to the Princess Hotel to be with some new friends. The hotel had a great beach and we took advantage of it. I love to swim so I went out to body surf with my buddies. Out and in we went. The waves were like music. The sky was as deep as the ocean. It was one of those days where the crowd of people added to the experience. It wouldn’t have been as fun without lots of people there to share with.

I was always with friends until one moment when I noticed that everyone became distant from me in what seemed to be an instant. I’m a strong swimmer and didn’t give it a second thought. I could see the beach so all I had to do was to swim in!

The harder I swam, the further away I got. In a few minutes I became tired and a little frightened. I couldn’t understand what was happening. All I knew was that the beach was getting farther and farther away despite my best efforts.

Just at the moment of despair I noticed a young man swimming next to me. He was clearly a “local” and he began to talk with me.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yes.” I said.

I was not completely honest!

He just looked at me and said, “Follow me.”

I did follow him and to my surprise he didn’t head directly to the beach. He headed to our right.
Soon, the ocean became my friend again as it began to gently push us to the beach in a constant, encouraging motion. I relaxed. We arrived on the beach where we were greeted by my friends.
We stood on the beach and my young rescuer pointed to a brown stripe in the water. It was a different color than the water we had just glided through. He said, “You were caught in a rip tide. You could not have made it back fighting the strength of the ocean.”

In a moment he was gone. I don’t know who he was. I do know that he was more experienced than I!

It is impossible for any one of us to know everything there is to know. It is impossible for any one of us to have all the experience we need. So, it’s a good thing we know each other.
My friend Judith Rasoletti and I had a wonderful talk this week. She had been swimming against the tide in her life. She knew the water around her was brown and dark. She didn’t know what direction to swim in to make it back to safety.

“I was looking for office space and read a small ad,” she said.

“Now my business is doing well and is growing. I am with a great group of people that are helping me.”

She is swimming with the tide again. The strength of the ocean is gently pushing her toward her beach and she is gliding with confidence. All it took was a small change in direction.

I know I’m not always able to see the color of the water around me without help and sometimes it seems as if the right direction is the wrong direction. It is at those times I listen to my daughter Annie’s words, “It could be a blessing in disguise.”

At those times I also hear Judith’s words, “We can’t do it without each other. In times like these the real blessing is to have lots of friends to help us.”

You have valuable experience. Share it with everyone you can. We can all use the help!

Change One Life Now, Change Thousands in the Future

“We can identify problems all our life, but that isn’t enough. We must do something about them!”
- Quinn Heder

Change one Life Today so you can Change Thousands in the Future

Last night I went with my wife and one of my daughters to have dinner at Alpine Academy. I expect you haven’t heard about Alpine Academy or Utah Youth Village, but they’ve been on my mind a great deal as of late. That’s because I’ve been thinking about the growing importance of mercy in our world today.

My friend Janette Thompson and her friend Erin act as “parents,” for Alpine Academy. They’re parents for ten teen-aged girls and they live in a large family home almost right across the street from me. Alpine Academy provides a chance for the girls to learn how a family works and grow from experiencing a functioning family. So when we were invited to come over for dinner, it wasn’t just any dinner. It was to a family dinner and a great opportunity for us to get to know each other; family to family and person to person.

Meeting with other people so you can get to know them is almost a lost art these days. I was reminded of this yesterday as I was shopping in Costco. I passed person after person with headphones in their ears. Talk about a large “Don’t talk to me” sign on the forehead. It’s hard to get to know someone who doesn’t want to hear a word you have to say!

But, that wasn’t the case last night! How nice it was to sit with neighbors who really wanted to just sit and talk. And talk we did!

We talked about each person there. We learned about each one; where they were from and what their hopes are for the future.

Because of their attendance at Alpine Academy each girl has a brighter future. I was most touched when Julia, a girl from the Atlanta area, gave us a tour and then stopped at a picture of Lila Bjorklund, founder of Alpine Academy.

Julia told us that Lila started Utah Youth Village and managed it without pay for more than 25 years. Then she said, “Grandma Lila believed that if you changed one girl now, you could change thousands in the future.”

For Lila, it was not enough to be concerned about troubled children - she put a roof over their heads and taught them responsible behavior.

It was not enough to found a program for troubled girls - she also managed it, 40 - 50 hours a week, without financial compensation, for over 25 years.

It was not enough to build one group home - she built four.

It was not enough to build four group homes - she opened 40 foster homes to care for younger victims of abuse and neglect.

It was not enough to provide a safe home for over 200 children a year - she instituted a program to teach their parents to help them, so they could remain with their families, and together they could heal and learn to live with mutual respect and caring.

With Lila, as long as there were troubled children, she could never do enough.

“Can I ever do enough?” I asked my friend Quinn Heder today. We were talking about life and what it means to have faith.

He asked me what I thought having faith meant.

“When my mind tells me one thing and I feel inside that things are going to be alright anyway,” I said.

One can believe things are going to be alright in the future as much as they want, but without doing something about it nothing is going to change we concluded.

So, I’m looking in the mirror a lot these days asking myself one question.

Am I showing enough mercy to everyone around me?

Then I think, “I must become the kind of person that looks at everyone around me and says, yes I know you’ve made mistakes. I have too! It’s o.k., I love you anyway. Let me give you a hand up so we can share happy lives together.”

I feel honored to be able to look across the street and see what Lila Bjorklund was able to create with the help of lots of other good hearted people! I feel comfort in the fact that girls across my own road are changing so they can change the lives of thousands to come. I feel humbled to know that there are many small things I can do to help them along their way.

You can help too. If you would like to become part of changing lives use this link: http://www.youthvillage.org/donate.php or, you can contact me and I’ll be able to talk with you about helping.

It isn’t enough to just see the problems around us anymore. Won’t you join me and work to change the lives of thousands in the future?

The Gift of Good Neighbors

“We saw a puff of dust so we knew something was wrong. Then we saw you running like a streak so we came over to help.”
- George & Carolyn Showell

The Gift of Good Neighbors

The darkness enveloped me as I began to stir. A new day was beginning and I knew just what I was going to do. Even though it was dark and the cold seemed to seize my muscles, I kept moving because the thought of the sun peaking above the mountain motivated me.

Small ice crystals covered the grass and I watched them begin to glisten just before they vanished in the emerging dawn. The world was beginning to awaken and I was about to blast it awake with the noise of machinery.

I have a lot of grass to mow. This week I had even more than usual amount of grass to mow because the grass in my pasture was getting too deep; too deep even for the horses to eat, so I was going to cut it. Besides, if it didn’t get cut it would soon begin to go dormant so I acted.

“It’s a good thing my neighbors aren’t real close,” I thought. If I lived in the city my neighbors would certainly be unhappy with the roar of an engine at 6:30 a.m. But here, rather than thinking a lawn tractor had climbed into bed with them, they would merely hear a slight noise. At least, that’s what I was hoping as I backed out of the garage to begin my slashing.

About two hours later the engine sputtered slightly and then died immediately. I had mowed a little more than half the field the night before and hadn’t refilled the gas tank, so I knew I was out of gas. I got off the tractor, walked to its back and peered at the fuel level stripes on the outside of the tank. Yes indeed. I was out of gas with only one pass left!

The horses surrounded me and began to take in deep breaths as they inhaled. They are curious animals and this was their chance to check me and my machine out without noise and continuous movement. I walked past them to the garage, grabbed hold of the heavy gas canister and lifted it back past the horses. Then I unscrewed the cap and watched the rainbow colored fuel be gulped up by the machine.

I lifted the half empty can on to my lap and turned the key. My first attempt to start the engine failed, but the second one didn’t. I began to cut my last bit of grass as I drove toward the open gate. Once through the gate I hesitated briefly. I remember thinking, “I should shut this gate.”

However, I could see the garage not far away and I really didn’t want to stop and have to lift the canister up two more times when it wasn’t necessary, so I drove on. I have left the gate down lots of times and the horses just stay in the pasture. Why wouldn’t they, the grass was plentiful and it was their home.

I got to the garage, turned off the machine and put the gas can down. I turned around and watched the horses pass through the gate. Fear gripped my heart because when I was a child one of my horses got out onto the highway and was hit by a car. That scene, from so many years ago, was freshened and alive in my mind now. I was hoping I could simply herd them the few feet back into the safety of the pasture.

It was not to be. When I approached them they bolted out to the street!

As it turns out my friend Clayton Dunn was driving past. He stopped and asked if he could help.

I said yes!

We tried to herd them, but they were uncooperative.

Then my next door neighbors came out. The entire family! They began to spread out so we could create a human net.

As we started, a reddish car pulled up. It was the Showells from across the neighborhood. They pulled over, got out of their car and became links to the huge net we had created to surround the frightened horses.

Within moments we had the horses moving toward home. We all ran a little. We all pushed with our voices a little. We were successful. I latched the gate and thanked everyone from the bottom of my heart!

The Gearos simply said, “You’ve done it for us before.”

Clayton simply said, “You’re welcome,” and resumed his drive to work.

The Showells stayed and talked with me for a minute and told me of how they had been watching me. (They live a mile and a half away.) They said, “We saw a puff of dust so we knew something was wrong. Then we saw you running like a streak so we came over to help.”
And, help they all did!

It is one thing to live next door or near someone else. It’s another to be a neighbor! My neighbors have demonstrated the difference to me over and over again. They are important to me and I treasure them. I can only hope to be a great neighbor to them in return.

Do you remember when it was common to go to a neighbor to borrow a cup of sugar or milk? Do you remember when we knew all of our neighbors? Do you remember when being a neighbor made you want to feel watchful and caring?

To have a great life, be a great neighbor. Of all the titles I have aspired to, the title of neighbor is one of the most valuable and important. Be a good neighbor; become a great friend and you’ll find true wealth, importance and joy beyond measure!

A Life of Miracles

“I’ve made it a habit to write down all of the miracles that have happened in my life.”
- David Remington

Are Miracles Happening in Your Life?

My friend Rochelle was impossible for me to talk with two Saturday evenings ago. It was making me feel anxious because we had talked earlier in the day several times. I thought it a little bit odd, since she was expecting my call and I knew she wanted to meet with me.


Late in the evening I finally gave up calling. I was tired from a long day of work and I knew that another day would soon be upon us.


As it turns out I didn’t catch up with Rochelle until Monday. I was glad to be able to talk with her because my little internal voice just wouldn’t accept that everything we alright. My little voice was right.


Rochelle began our conversation apologizing to me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t available Saturday night,” she said. “But, my daughter was hit by a drunk driver so I had to be with her in the hospital.”


I held my small telephone limply by my ear. I couldn’t believe the words I was hearing! A whirlwind of thoughts swept through my mind, but one was harsh. I was ashamed to hear her say she was sorry because of the situation. I should have been the one apologizing to her.


I wished I could have somehow been able to stop the accident. I wanted to make things alright.
Yet, all I could do at this point was to ask if her daughter was o.k. I waited for the answer with hopeful anticipation. I waited for words I was afraid would never come.


“Yes. She’s o.k.” Rochelle said in a grateful tone.


“She was walking with two friends when a car hit them from behind.” Rochelle continued on to tell me that her daughter’s two friends we “grazed” by the car and were largely unaffected. The two were in shock still and couldn’t remember what had happened.


Her daughter received the brunt of the collision though. Her body was hurled straight up into the air and had landed in the windshield, only to be cast aside into the rocks and weeds below.
One would have expected the driver to stop and offer assistance. But the driver simply continued on; weaving and frightfully endangering everything in his path.


Others stopped to help. Since the accident wasn’t far from the hospital additional help arrived quickly and all three girls were scooped up to safety and examination within minutes. And this is where the first discovery of a miracle occurred.


Rochelle’s daughter, though savagely assaulted, had cuts, bruises, road rash and surprisingly no broken bones! What could have been a life ending episode was now looming large as a modern day miracle! And, the miracle didn’t end there.


As the driver continued on down the road, another person, not aware of the accident, noticed the erratic driving. So, worrying about danger this driver not only called 911, they followed this drunk driver home and parked in front of the driveway so he couldn’t go anywhere else until police arrived! Who says that people “don’t care?”


People do care and the world is full of wonderful people offering help and comfort all around us. If you doubt it just take some time to talk with your friends.


I was doing just that the day after this accident and its associate miracles, before I knew they had happened, with my friend David Remington. I was mesmerized by every word he spoke as he recounted a large portion of his life. After about an hour of an exquisite tale he said, “I’ve made it a habit to write down all of the miracles that have happened in my life. Wow! It is a huge list,” he said.


Those words seemed to hit me between the eyes to drive a wedge into my mind. “Do we really live in a time of miracles?” I asked myself.


Yes was the answer!


And my answer was just beginning to be revealed. I had no idea that Rochelle would be answering that question in a striking revelation the very next day.


So, now I’ve taken a step into the unknown. Now my eyes have been opened and I am having a wonderful time. Other friends have begun to share personal miracles with me and I am devouring every word of every amazing story.


And, I’m taking Dave’s example to heart, I’m beginning to write a list of my own life’s miracles so they somehow don’t disappear with the other fleeting seconds of my being. It feels good. It feels, real good!


Have you had miracles small and large in your life’s experience? I think you might! If you want to feel real hope; if you want to feel a sense of wonder; if you want to feel part of the miracle of life, do something great for yourself. Write down a list of all the miracles that have occurred during the story of your life.


And, if you want to share please share your experiences with me. I am your eager audience! I hope miracles never cease in your life. You deserve to be amazed, so go live a life of miracles!

The Art of Being a Pig

“If you call one of our players a pig he’ll probably come up and high-five you!”
- Kyle Whittingham

The Art of Being a Pig

My friend Sandra Johnson owned her own advertising firm when I met her. She worked for the firm I was with, so I had the great pleasure of getting to know her. What I love most about Sandra is her great sense of humor and her ability to see things from a different point of view. For example, one Christmas knowing that my friend Brad loved dogs, she gave him a beautifully framed poem entitled, “Things One Can Learn From A Dog.”


When it came my turn to open a gift we all laughed in delight when I received the same gift, but with all the words changed from dog to hog and the rest of the body changed to reflect the difference between a dog and a hog. It still enjoys a prominent place on my office wall! You may wonder why?


A few years ago I became interested in hog farming so I spent quite a bit of time touring hog farms and studying them. Sandra knew this and was very humored by it since I had never hog farmed before. She just couldn’t picture me as a hog farmer.


When one of her associates misspelled my middle name as Gordan rather than Gordon, Sandra immediately dubbed me, “Dan the Hog Farmer.” This name has stuck with me for almost fifteen years now! In fact, when I was working in New York I went to a restaurant one morning and saw a group of people from Salt Lake City.


The group had come for a Theater Tour. As it turned out, I had a couple of friends in the group so I was able to recognize that they were from Salt Lake. It was wonderful to see them so I came over to say hello and talk for a while. My friends were kind enough introduce me to other members of their group. And, this led to a most unexpected turn of events.


I was introduced to one woman in the group and she got the most surprised look on her face. Since I had never met her before you can imagine this took be back a little! Then it became clear.


She looked at me and exclaimed, “You’re Dan the Hog Farmer?”


My stunned reply was a simple, “Yes.”


Then, said she, “Sandra Johnson has told me all about you. I didn’t expect to meet you in New York City and dress in a suit!” I have laughed at this turn of events for a long time but, I hadn’t thought of this experience for years, because I’m no longer interested in Hog Farming, until this week.


A group of my friends and I had the chance to talk with Kyle Whittingham, Head Coach of the University of Utah Football Team. During our meeting Kyle was asked, “What did you do to inspire your team to have a perfect 13-0 season last year?”


That’s when Kyle said, “I don’t have to inspire them. We recruit great young men. But, if you call one of our players a pig he’ll probably come up and high-five you!”


Then he went on to explain that he taught them about breakfast. “I told them that when they look down at their breakfast, the eggs on the plate came from a chicken. The bacon or ham on the plate came from a pig. The chicken gave a little bit of herself, but the pig was totally committed.” He said. Commitment is the basis for Coach Whittingham’s team. He has created a culture of total commitment.


But, there is something else he has done. He has surrounded his players with great coaches. They are men of skill and ability. They are men who have played the game and are now able to transfer their experience to the players they coach.


While I listened to Coach Whittingham I learned something about pigs I never really examined during the days I was known as “Dan the Hog Farmer.” I learned that there is art to being a great pig and that art can be used to help in many other areas of my life.


To be successful, I need to be committed to a successful outcome and I need to surround myself with people who have successfully done what I hope to do. Then I need to be willing to do what they ask me to do and to perform with accountability and faith.


There were two games where the Utah Football Team had to come from behind in the remaining minutes and seconds of the game to win. Coach Whittingham said, “The team had no doubt they could do it.”


I have no doubt you can do it! You can be successful! Make a commitment, surround yourself with a great coaching staff and have faith in yourself.


In short, go out there and be a pig!