Monday's Warm Cocoa, 9 December 2024, "Zoning Your Focus"

“This year we’re focusing on our zone.” – Andrew Bart

Zoning Your Focus

“I should have been on top of this long before now,” Andrew Bart said with an undertone of regret.

There was more to that regret than what could be seen by a surface surfer. The deeper issue, one under the surface, was that of a potential loss of a precious personal relationship. And, while a friend’s lack of work performance was beyond debate, Andrew’s ever-present focus on strengthening rapports was foremost on his mind. It was important to him to keep his relationship with a close friend and collogue, of more than twenty-years, intact.

“What are you talking about?” I quickly responded. “You were on top of it! Have you forgotten the action you took, months ago, to personally step-in to focus on this area of the business?”

Andrew, like the rest of us, is often burdened with having a focus fixed on being the harshest of self-critics. That doesn’t mean he, and we, don’t make mistakes. It’s just that humans tend to be focused on personal faults while viewing most other things as blurred, background reality. And, the capacity to adjust this natural focus is rare.

“Thank you,” Andrew said just before saying, “this year I’m going to zone my focus.”

He then went on to explain his coming-year’s business plan by initially describing his relief at having already completing the hard thing. A lack of performance discussion with his close friend and colleague. 

“It went better than I feared,” he started. “He knew this was the first time he’d let me down and he apologized. Then, we agreed to reassign him to a more suitable position in the company. I’m so relieved to have been able to maintain our relationship while keeping his talent with our company moving forward.”

That new focus, subsequently outlined by Andrew, became possible as a result of clearing the distortion of conquering the hard thing first. It allowed him to seek additional clarity. First, he recognized the value of his business’ existing attributes. Which allowed him to diagnose a lack of need to create any new products at this time. Second, he created a new plan to use existing products more effectively. Third, he was able to reorganize the company to turn those assets into meaningful returns.

“I should have been on top of this long before now,” Andrew said, just before he was reminded of how ably he’d stepped up, while failing to recognize his own success and focus. Then, he had the courage to do the hard thing first. Doing so opened the way to it find additional clarity, so he could recognize opportunity.

“This year we’re focusing on our zone,” Andrew said of his described process. A practice you can I can put to work in our own lives.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

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Receiving Tender Mercies

Tory Wilson

Receiving Tender Mercies

Deafening silence right after a loud gasp caused me to turn immediately.  I looked across the floor to see Tory lying still, perceptively motionless.  There were 28,800 eyes staring in disbelief and horror.  They recognized cruelty when they saw it!  They also knew tender mercy when they saw it. 

A svelte, strong man ran over and swept her up in his arms, off of the carpeted floor, and they began to walk as one toward the training room. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and her head was cradled against his chest as he crossed the arena floor.  Everyone in the arena stood and applauded.  Even the opposing teams and their fans joined in the reverence.

The reverence was not just a result of the injury.  It was a universal demonstration of appreciation.  Tory had won everyone’s respect through performance that very night.  She had captured all hearts at the beginning.

I was sitting next to the head judge for the vault as the PAC 12 Championships began.  When Utah’s team was introduced, the crowed roared.  She turned to me and mouthed one word, WOW!  I had to read her lips as the wave of sound swelled until it swallowed everything.  That was just the start of amazing performance.

I was excited when Tory began her vault.  Anticipation filled the air.  She completed the scene with perfection!

“She’s the best blocker I’ve ever seen!”  I said to the head judge next to me.

“It gave me chills!”  She replied.  “I felt goose bumps running all up and down my arms.  See, I wrote ‘gave me goose bumps’ on my scoring sheet!  I’ve never given anyone a 10 before!”

I caught a last glimpse of Tory being carried into the tunnel; her perfection temporarily masked by injury.  At this moment she was a little more like the rest of us.

There are times when all of us need help from others, when we need to receive mercy due to circumstance.  Tory’s injury shows that even the strongest and best of us face such times.  And, she has also demonstrated perfect grace in receiving mercy of others.

Tory will heal.  She’ll receive the best care possible.  She’ll continue to feel the love of everyone she has shared her gifts with.

I’m excited to receive her greatest gift.  Showing that we will all need care and mercy from others at some point.  And, when we do, we should accept mercy with grace, allow others to care and help heal us and then vault into a bright future with renewed strength.

Think of the Results

Robert Mulari

Think of the Results

Rob moved in across the street from me a few years ago.  The first thing I noticed about him was how he loved to have good fun.  I would see him racing around on a bicycle or an ATV on a regular basis.  He always had a huge smile on his face and it was that smile that made me want to get to know him better.

As I spent time getting to know him, I learned that he was a pastor who had decided to move from Arizona with his family to my neighborhood.  But, he isn’t just a pastor.  His passion is being a pastor of youth.

Rob and his whole family, Kelly – his wife and his two children, are all dedicated to helping troubled youth.  Their last few years have been focused on teenaged girls at Alpine Academy where they work tirelessly to make a difference in the world, one girl at a time.  He once told me that he knows if he can “change the life of one girl, he can change generations of lives in the future.”

I watched him changing the future just three days ago when I worked with him in his home.  His face gave off a radiant, welcoming glow as soon as he walked in the door.  The entire feeling of the house changed just because he entered.  He took the time to greet each person there.  It didn’t matter how old they were or what they looked like.  He confidently smiled and focused on each individual.

I watched him work with each person in a dedicated, kind and loving way.  He was directing the whole household while shifting potential conflict into quiet harmony.  In fact, he was able to offer gentile suggestions in way that made everyone want to work together.  No one felt defensive at all.

It was clear that not everyone was on the same page when he entered.  Others disagreed with him.  Yet, his loving approach disarmed everyone completely.  He very effectively demonstrated that a person could disagree with others and not be disagreeable!  I stood in admiration of his skill and presence!

When I left and tried to focus on other things, my mind was not willing to shake his example.  “If I could only master Rob’s gentle approach!”  If I could disagree with others and not be disagreeable I could live with less stress.  I could be happier.  I could more effectively improve the lives of generations to come.

Think of the results.   Think of the results if you and I were to do this together!

Living a Life of Wow

“If you’re going to make a presentation you need to make it wow!”

- Bill Reichert

Living a Life of Wow

My friend Bill Reichert is a Managing Director of Garage Technology Ventures, author, presenter, entrepreneur and innovator.  He lives a life of wow and spent a few minutes talking about what he’s discovered on his journey to a group of entrepreneurs, Cooperative Venturers and other innovators during the 31^st Annual Investors Choice Venture Capital Conference.

His comments were geared toward making an investment presentation to investors that would set them apart from others.  But, as he presented his top three tips I couldn’t help seeing them as a way to create a “Wow Life.”  Here are Bill’s there steps for getting to wow.

First, Bill says, “Be clear about what you do.”  If someone were to ask you what you do with your life can you answer them in a clear statement about what it is that you do and why you do it?  Are you perfectly clear about what you want to do with your life?  If you’re not clear it then others aren’t either.  If people don’t know what you want, they won’t be willing or able to help you get it.  Don’t be afraid to ask yourself what you want out of life. 

Second, can you describe your life’s mission in a compelling way, so others will want to support you in your quest to live your dream?  Take some time to look toward the life of your dreams and then distill it down to a thirty second, clear compelling statement.  When you do, you’ll find excitement stirring within the most important person in the process.  You!

Third, be credible.  In other words, can others believe what you say?  Do you live in a way that instills faith in the words you speak?  Look at your actions and then ask yourself, “Am I taking the steps each day to be who I really am?”  When you’re living as the person you want to be, your actions will speak louder than any words you could possibly use.

I love the old story of two friends who were riding on a train to the East.  They hadn’t seen each other for many years so they sat and talked together.  One of them spent the whole trip telling the other about everything he was going to do with his life.  He kept talking and talking and his friend listened and listened.  When the trip was over and the listening friend shook his hand and walked away, the talkative one said to a common acquaintance, “You know, he never did tell me what he was going to doing!” 

It was only then that the acquaintance said, “He didn’t need to say anything about what he’s going to do.  You see, he’s on his way to argue a case before the Supreme Court today!”

Live a life of credibility.

Finally, as I sat talking with my daughter Jessi on the phone, after listening to Bill’s presentation, I discovered something else I thought you should just tack on to his three steps.  She was telling me about her business and how she had made a lot of progress.  I’m impressed with what she’s done and I told her so.  But, as she was talking she said, “I’m just about there.”  That’s the moment it dawned on me!

So, I said, “You’ve done everything you just described to me already!  Allow yourself the pleasure of accepting the reality that you are who you dreamed you’d be.  You aren’t an outsider in your business circles anymore.  You’re a contemporary, a colleague to the very best in your industry!  Once you accept that, you’ll find that your path will dissolve into the present and everything will be within your reach.”

Wow!

Being Part of Something Special

Perfection

Being Part of Something Special

There were about fourteen thousand five hundred people in the bowl surrounding me.  When I sat down, I knew I was at the bottom, on the floor.  I didn’t know that I was at the bottom of a volcano that was about to erupt!

The eruption didn’t happen right at first.  There were small cascades that were portends of something else.  But there was no eruption.

Then a young woman began running toward me in a fluid motion.  She leaped, blocked, twisted and landed in model form.  The head judge was sitting on my left.  I watched her eyes.  They were full of surprise.  I can say she looked a little shocked!  Then her eyes focused on the paper in front of her.  She wrote two numbers on the sheet, a one and a zero!

I looked across the runway to the other judge.  Her score was about to post.  I could feel a low rumble beginning to build.  Her score flashed and the eruption began.  A perfect score!

I called the number to the head table.  Score. Utah. Vault. Ten. Ten. Ten average!

The eruption peaked and the roof of the Huntsman Center felt as if it was going to be lifted right off the rest of the building so the jubilation could flow down off the hill.  But, there was another gymnast getting ready to run.

She was far down the runway.  She bolted.  She sprang off the board, blocked, flew, twisted and landed in perfection!  I looked to my left.  The head judge looked out over the scene and unconsciously shrugged her shoulders.  She wrote the same two numbers.  Another perfect ten!

An eruption began to build again and I called in the score.  Score.  Utah. Vault. Ten. Ten. Ten average!

I’ve never seen two perfect tens in a row.  Ever!  It was something special.  It was something special to be part of.

My friend Tim is also on the floor staff of Utah Gymnastics.  We talked after the meet.  We talked about the experience.  He said, “It is really great to be part of something . . .?”  He couldn’t find the word.

“Something special!”  I finished.

“Yes!  Something special!”

We weren’t the ones who did something special.  We aren’t the great athletes or the great coaches.  But, we are part of something much larger than we are alone!

Now I’m sitting alone, two days later and I’m reflecting on my years of experience being part of Utah Gymnastics.  I must tell you, being a part of something larger than yourself, giving yourself to something greater, gives a person the chance to catch a glimpse of perfection.  Being part of a larger group allows a person to combine his or her own talents with the talents of others to become part of a greater whole.  Something one person could never accomplish on an individual basis.  It makes everyone who participates greater!

Look around, focus on what interests you, and then volunteer to be part of it.  Add your best skills, your hopes and dreams.  Give of yourself and then you’ll begin to receive!  When you receive, it will be like sitting in the bottom of a volcano watching an eruption of good swirl around you.  And, over time you’ll overflow with gratitude, delight and gratitude.

Steering on Your Path

“I just did my first mini-article for Elle!” Jessi Butterfield-McKnight

Steering on Your Path

“I just did my first mini-article for Elle!  I’ll email it to you.”  The text from my daughter Jessi read.

“Wow!”  I shot back.

I am wowed by how far she’s come.  How hard she’s worked.

She started as a model just seven years ago and during her first few months was called for one photo shoot in particular.  Everyone had arrived, ready to work, with the exception of the makeup artist.  The director gathered everyone around and said, “I guess we’ll have to cancel the shoot because the makeup artist didn’t show.”

“I can do that!”  Jessi said.

And, she did!  It turned out to be a sharp turn in her life, a pivot point.  She had a clear vision of where she was going in fashion, but at that moment she took a detour that allowed her to accelerate toward her ultimate destination, but on a slightly different path.

Many of us create a plan for lives, see only one path, and when we hit a detour, or make a wrong turn; we believe that all is lost. But, Jessi has shown this doesn’t need to be the case.  As I’ve watched her created her business I’ve learned a new, better way to approach business and life.

First, she built her future in her mind.  She made a plan. She knew she wanted to be in fashion and created her path in detail.  She even got her degree in English from Westminster College knowing that fashion models generally don’t have long careers.  A degree in English would allow her to write for a fashion magazine when she could no longer model.

Second, when she arrived in New York City she started in the most humble of circumstances, slept on lots of couches and lived out of a suitcase.  She measured each step by seeing each stride forward as a victory.  Measuring her progression helped her through lots of disappointments and caused her to keep searching for ways around the obstacles she encountered.

Third, Jessi learned a lot with every step she took.  Sometimes it was a step forward.  Sometimes it was seemingly a step back or to the side.  She kept her focus on learning.  The more she learned, the more she understood there was more she didn’t know, so she just kept learning what she needed to know.  She got better and better and discovered this powerful “process of steering.”

Understanding that this three-step-feedback-loop is a process of steering her life and business made it possible for Jessi to learn when and if it was time to pivot or persevere on her current path.  It allowed her to get past disappointments and use what she was learning to accelerate toward her clear vision.  She didn’t give up and stayed focused on her destination.

You and I can do the same thing.  We can create an enviable life or a world changing business.  To achieve our vision we can employ the principle of steering to create a plan, measure progress, and learn constantly so we can fine tune what we’re doing or change our paths slightly while keeping focused on our desired destination.

Breaking Free

Merlin on a tether.

Breaking Free

I was making some fifteen-bean soup a cold winter morning.  When I woke up and looked out the window I saw frost; that’s why I had the idea.  As I was working away in my kitchen I looked out through the window again and saw Merlin, my daughter’s dog, out sniffing around.

He ran this way and that.  Looking.  Sniffing. Tangling!

Rather than run out to get him free of his predicament I waited, just so I could see what he did. 

At first he simply sat and barked for a little help to come his way.  Then when the help didn’t come, he turned on his little haunches and went to where his tether was loose.  When he felt a strong pull on his harness he stopped and when the other way.  But, he was never able to follow his tether around the tree that shortened his leash and inhibited his ability to run forward freely.  He couldn’t see the connection.

I could see the connection because of my vantage point.  I also knew how to deal with the entanglement because of my years of experience.  He’s still a young puppy, a Welsh Corgi isn’t too high off the ground, and lacks experience.  He couldn’t see the reason for his inability to run and do the things he loves!  I decided to help.

I walked out and guided him around the tree that held him bound.  Showed him he was free of it and then walked back with him into the house where he would feel comfort and safety.

Don’t you and I want to feel the same kind of comfort and safety in our lives?  Don’t we want to overcome our challenges successfully and then return home in personal triumph?  I’ve never met anyone without this need and desire.  Yet, we’ve all faced the dilemma of little Merlin in same way.

When in our home, I rubbed his little ears and thought to myself, “I’m just like you!  I seem to get stuck over and over again and then I react in the same way over and over again.  I whine a little, bark a little and hope that someone will come to my rescue.”

So, here I go, I’m making another commitment to you my friend.  Next time I’m out in the big world doing what I do, sniffing around a little, there will come a time when I hit the end of my self-created tether.  I’ll wonder why I can’t move forward.  That’s when and where I’ll stop.  But this time I’ll choose not to sit, bark and whine.

Merlin has shown me that if I’ll simply follow my tether back to the beginning, carefully, I’ll be able to identify the tree that is deeply rooted and holding me back.  I’ll recognize it for what it is, a simple barrier that needs to be challenged by moving around it in a way I’ve never tried before.

Doing what I’ve never tried before is a scary task.  It looms in front of me as an unconquerable giant.  But, I can conquer myself! I’ll realize I created the first trail and follow it back to a release point.  Then I’ll break a new trail, past my barrier, toward success.

I’ve seen successful, little, Merlin often.  He runs free, like the wind!  His triangular ears are pinned back in aerodynamic form!  He has a smile and an amazing look of joy as he relishes running free.  I don’t have an aerodynamic ear formation and don’t run very fast, but I look forward to the joy I’ll feel as I break my self-created tethers one at a time!

A New View

“I’ve lived in New York all my life and have never seen it from this view!”

A New View

It felt as if we were standing on top of the world.  Lights were sparkling as far as we could see.  The amazing diamond spectacle surrounding us made braving winter’s cold wind worth the walk out onto the terrace to savor our special moment.

There are some special moments in life that will take your breath away.  These are life-changing times in every person’s life that deserve to be cherished.  I had one of those just this week.  My daughter Jessi got married in New York.

To celebrate this special event we had reception in a rooftop solarium on the South side of Central Park.  We enjoyed the company of friends and family with music and food.  We laughed, ate and got to know each other better.  But, when one of my daughter’s friends said, “I’ve lived in New York all my life and have never seen it from this view!” it really made me think.

It’s so easy to live life without looking for the extraordinary in our day-to-day lives.  Sometimes we walk through common, even presumably mundane events hundreds of times and fail to see a new view that can enlighten, enliven and enhance our souls. Our friend told me that she had walked past our reception place hundreds of times and had no idea that an extraordinary view existed just a few floors above.  “This solarium and terrace have the most spectacular view of the city I’ve ever seen!”  It is an enchanting place.  I wanted my daughter to remember it always. 

I once had a friend who said, “When I want to take a picture I simply look at what I want to remember and treasure it up in my heart.  That way I can go back there when ever I want.”

So, I walked up to my daughter and said, “Jessi, make sure you take Ren out on the terrace and savor this moment so it will last forever in your hearts.”

She took him by the hand and went out of the door to the terrace.  I watched as they shivered together and took in the view.  Their skin was cold, but their hearts were warm.  They took the time to treasure up their moment so it would be locked up within their memory.  It was that very moment that gave them a new view, a vision that transformed their night into a moment that will last a lifetime.

More Than a Mentor

“Cooperative Venturing”

More Than a Mentor

It’s great to have a mentor.  A mentor gives companionship and transfers valuable knowledge to the apprentice.  It is little wonder then, that wherever I look, persons and institutions are offering programs to mentor their clientele.

 It is true that one person can change the course of another and even that of an institution or of a nation or world.  We would call such persons leaders, people who can show a better way for others to follow.  But, true leadership is more than a mere statement of mentorship.

I’ve observed that perhaps the most important ingredient in mentoring goes beyond a declaration.  It must be rooted in selfless caring.  That’s because the most effective relationships are defined by love.  A person offering assistance for the purpose of personal gain will never be a true mentor or leader.  They are simply greedy people and greed will always fall short in the end. 

When the people, who are to be served, understand a selfish mentor’s motivation they will quickly flee to what they desire, a generous giver who hopes only to add value for the sake of sharing and creating.  And, true sharing can only come from a heart without duplicity.  How does such a thing come to pass?  It comes from the foundation of purpose.

Wayne Brown Institute was formed on a firm foundation with such a purpose, to improve the human condition by direct transfer of specialized knowledge with personal caring.  I have spent the last twenty-five years working with participating professionals and have documented their success.  I feel grateful to have spent almost half of my life with amazing people who have shaped me as an individual and have allowed me to be part of creating a more successful paradigm than that of individual mentoring.  We call it Cooperative Venturing™.

When I said it was great to have a mentor, I meant it.  But having more than one mentor is of greater benefit than having one mentor.  The reason is simple.  It is impossible for one person to have as much experience and knowledge as a combination of many doyens.  Can you imagine having such a group of uniquely skilled and long experienced experts all working in concert for your personal success without charge?

I sat at a table with four other Cooperative Venturers this week.  We were reviewing the results of a new component to Cooperative Venturing that was rolled out in the fall.  I looked around the room and felt my heart swell with gratitude for being able to learn at the feet of such people!  The results of our efforts were as we had hoped so we are making plans to put a framework in place for expanded success.

Expanded success will mean more high paying jobs for our community.  It means that our tax base will improve and that more wealth will flow into our homes than ever before.  But, most importantly, it means our best and brightest are giving themselves to future generations by instilling their knowledge and experience into a new generation of talented apprentices.

We are all apprentices.  I realize this more and more as I interact with Cooperative Venturers.  We all have the ability to receive.  We all have the ability to give.  Join us and become both a giver and receiver.  Become part of the Cooperative Venturing Network™. http://www.venturecapital.org