Staring Down the Grim Reaper

“I saw the brightest light I could ever imagine and I had only one thought!”

-Jean Hjelseth

Staring Down the Grim Reaper

Jean walked into her daughter’s apartment.  She was there to visit two of the most important people in her life; her daughter and granddaughter.

“I walked in to the apartment and not long after I arrived I saw the brightest light I could ever imagine and I had only one thought!  I could not die!  I could not leave my husband, daughter and granddaughter!”

Jean had an aneurism in her brain that burst as she was standing right in the middle of her daughter’s living room.  As soon as she saw the light that was as bright as a “super nova” she collapsed in a heap onto the floor.  Her daughter called an ambulance and they rushed her to the hospital where her husband Jeff was working.  She was as close to death as a person can be and still hang on the life by the smallest of margins.

In fact, Jean’s doctor spoke with her more than a month after this incident and shook his head in disbelief as he spoke to her.  “You are a one in a million!” He said.  “There is no way you should still be alive.”

But, Jean knew better.  “I love my husband and family so much that there was just no way I was going to leave them” she said to me as we sat at a table together.

“After just six months into recovery my doctor became frustrated with me because I would not take it easy.  All I wanted to do was to get healthy again so I could be fully engaged with my family.  I would stay up all night reading everything I could on the internet so I could stimulate my brain.  It made Jeff nuts!  He would say to me, ‘What are you doing?  You need to sleep!’”

Jeff was sitting with us as part of our tête-à-tête.  I shot a quick glance at him to see his reaction as she told her story.  His face was beaming with a sort of sheepish, shy smile.  He’s a very quiet, shy person.  Still, there was no way he could hide his love for Jean.  His heart was bursting with gratitude and love as we talked.

I had some thoughts bursting within my own mind during the hour and a half we conversed.   I was trying to think of how many people I knew who have the same kind of determination Jean has.  Would I have the strength and courage to look face to face, eye to eye with the grim reaper and stare him down to defeat because of my love for other people?  Then an answer distilled my questions. 

Here I sat looking at two people in love.  I’d been working with them for a couple of months and I could tell by their everyday actions that they were devoted to each other in a special way.  I knew of their love and commitment well before I knew of the amazing story they had just shared with me.

The reality is that we all show what we’re committed to through our actions on a daily basis.  It takes real courage and dedication to make decisions that demonstrate our best intentions every day.  Sometimes it’s harder to overcome fatigue and repetition over and over again than to dream of conquering an invincible foe in dramatic fashion.  But, living a life based on a foundation of principle, love and truth will always deliver a satisfying and lasting victory while others who only chase fortune through glorious victory more often find themselves alone and wanting.

We can all choose love and life each day by demonstrating our choice through committed action no matter how weak we feel at any given moment.  When we do so, peace will engulf our hearts and assurance will enliven our future.

Groceries in the Car

“We have our groceries in the car, but we can help you for a few minutes.”

-Kilee Johnson

Groceries in the Car

The sun was shining outside and its yellow hue was making it look as if the day was made of gold.  And, a cool breeze was brushing past my face and caressing my entire body.  It was a day freshly minted.  The kind of day when everyone who is able to go outside feels rich and able bodied.  So, I went out to work in my yard.

When I next looked up and had everything put away it was early in the evening.  I went into the house and looked at my whiskers appear to be growing from the fertile soil covering my entire head.  It was time to wash the day away and spend some time with my family.

We had a nice dinner and then returned home.  I was tired and felt sleepy.  My muscles were begging for the relief, a respite from physical labor and I yielded; but not for long.

In about a half hour the dogs were announcing the arrival of guests.  They were excited to see familiar faces and they demonstrated their pleasure by flying their tails at full speed.

“Hi Papi.  We have our groceries in the car, but we can help you for a few minutes.”

We had been working to get some beds moved to different rooms and another one put together.  It was heavy work and I needed help to get it done.  I was grateful to receive the offered assistance.  Otherwise the task would never be completed.

“You don’t need to help me tonight!” I said.  “You have groceries to put away.”

“Yes.  But we can put them away later and the only thing we’ll be doing is just putting them away.  If we help you, the beds will be put away and we’ll be spending more time with you.”

Because we worked together, everything was completed quickly and with pleasure.  It reminded me that a community or a family has a power which a single individual does not.  We are held together as a result of freely contributing mutual support and protecting the core values that bind us. I live in the same zip code that Kilee lives in, but that is not what gives us glue.

Rabbi Daniel Lapin said, “The only thing I know that will glue a community or family together is for everyone to first, concentrate on doing something for other people, and only thereafter to worry about what they can do for you.  . . . The world is set up to reward us to the extent that we focus on finding ways to do things for other people.  If we focus on what others can do for us, we fail.”

What can you I do that will really make other people happy today?

 

Are There Heroes?

“I wish we could have a hero, but we don’t seem to be able to have any anymore.”

-Matt Speers

Are There Heroes?

Matt Speers is a Captain in the United States Marine Corps.  He commands more than one hundred men.  I say command, but that’s wrong in a way.  I should say he leads them.

 “Their parents lend them to me and it’s my job to make sure they become men of honor.  It’s amazing to see some of the decisions a boy of 18 will make.  I don’t know why I’m surprised.  I made the some of the same silly choices when I was that age.  It’s my responsibility to demonstrate the right path so I can send them back to their families as great men when they leave the service.”

When I was listening to Captain Speers speak to me I found it difficult at times to pay attention to my driving.  He was sitting in the seat next to me and there were times when all I wanted to do was stare at him.  Can such men still be walking amongst us?

He has served at two tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan.  He’s also getting himself and his men ready to be deployed again for another tour.  I know how hard he’s working to be prepared.  He spends weeks in the deserts of California without communication to the world you and I live in.  He’s totally immersed in training and caring about the men he lives his life with.  I felt honored that he was spending time with me searching for a home in the mountains of Utah.

On one misty, cool spring day we walked along a street between homes and I asked him what he thought about one particular history-making-general.

“I wish we could have a hero, but we don’t seem to be able to have any anymore.” He said.

I can understand why he said what he said. 

I looked over through the mist and to my right to look at him as he spoke to me; the cool breeze brushing lightly across my face.  And, what I saw was a real hero.  He isn’t some myth created by a popular culture.  He isn’t a self absorbed, self promoting person working to build himself up in the eyes of everyone in the world!  He’s a man of principle.

A hero is someone who has recognized true principles and is willing to live in conformity.  They’re a person who goes out and does the right thing every day even though nobody else will ever know what’s being done.  It’s someone who gives their life to the benefit of others to nurture them and guide them to the best of their ability; someone who’s willing to live out in the middle of nowhere in order to be in a position to teach lessons that can’t be learned in the “center of it all.”  Perhaps most of all, it’s someone who will just go out and do the right thing when it’s hard, uncomfortable or unpopular.

I continued walking on a sidewalk in a popular Mountain Resort Town in Utah on a cool, misty day.  When I looked to my right again, I was finding it harder and harder to see the hero at my side.  The weather wasn’t worsening.  The increasing mist was in my eyes as a result of the opportunity to be walking with a truly great man.

Instant Change

“The water heater needs to be replaced so we’ll replace it with the best water heater available.”

-      Ben Michel

Instant Change

I had been in the midst of hard negotiations on a transaction for several days and this particular morning found me beginning to tire from the rigid, unrealistic position of the other party and their agent.  It was a Monday morning and the first call of the day was another volley and another impasse.  I can remember thinking to myself, “Oh, I just want these difficult people to go away!”

As soon as this thought finished its flow across my mind I was roused by the sudden tinkling of my phone.  “Now what bad news am I going to hear?” was the phrase that blasted across my mind as an instant reaction.  I took a deep breath and answered the phone.

But there was a friendly voice reaching my ears.  When I heard the kindly tones, my body began to relax.  It was a welcome relief.  And, there was more relief coming my way as Ben continued.

“Hey Lynn, I received the inspection report and repair request you sent over yesterday.  I looked it over and then went to the house and the inspector is right.  The water heater needs to be replaced so we’ll replace it with the best water heater available.  I know that’s all you asked for, but I also went through the rest of the inspection report and decided to fix the other items as well.  They’re all small and it we’d like the home to be as nice as possible for your Clients when they move in.”

I could hardly speak, but uttered slowly, at first in surprise, and then gave a hearty, “I’ll let my Client know! Thank you for your generosity!”

My heart was calm and full of gratitude when the call ended.  I felt refreshed and encouraged again.  At the beginning of a very difficult day, one person, someone who has a fair, kind heart, someone who was willing to go above and beyond what was asked changed my whole day and outlook.  I was impressed by the quickness of the change that came inside of me.

I also made a commitment to myself to give more than what is required or asked, because I had been changed by Ben and his goodness in an instant.  You can make the same commitment.  Change the world in an instant through generosity and kindness.  It will change more than just your own life.

 

 

Recognizing Victory From Defeat

“When the economy crashed we began to struggle and we were lucky to be able to sell our home.”

-      Joel Jones

Recognizing Victory From Defeat

My friend Joel owns his own business and started it because he felt as if he could provide a straight forward service that would benefit his clients as well as his family.  He works hard.  He always has, ever since I’ve known him.   One day, as part of our work, we sat talking together.

“You know,” he said, “We were lucky to be able to sell our house when the economy crashed.  Most people thought it was a disaster, and at the time we were really struggling emotionally and financially.  Most people in our neighborhood were critical of us because they knew I was a hard worker and successful business owner; they made lots of comments about how I should have been more prepared and just make more money.  But, it was out of my control and when we moved, it became obvious to us that it was the best thing that could have happened for our family.”

When he spoke I envisioned the description of his life as a great river.  There are times when we’re swimming along and we float with the illusion that we’re in total control while in its calm waters.  But, that illusion is swept away during times when the water’s serenity is replaced by a cataract.

When a series of river rapids and small or large waterfalls demonstrate that there are forces in life greater than any individual, one is forced to simply go with the flow and seek any protection possible.  It is during such times that one many lose sight of the benefits of speeding water and its ability to usher in new opportunities and knowledge.  Those who can’t appreciate the course and momentum of the river spend their time grasping at the water hoping to hold it back with their small and ineffective hands.  But their efforts are vain.

It is only when one truly sees and accepts the majesty and power of the river as a moving force can they change their strategy from combating to riding the water for their benefit.  Joel Jones has shown me that when one understands the true nature of life one can begin the see the power it has to change us in ways we can’t anticipate.  It will show us amazing beauty and reveal strengths we didn’t know we possessed. 

It can also expose personal weaknesses that we wish were not so.  When we see such weaknesses we have a choice.  We can look up to see how we can allow life’s opportunities fill us with wonder and strength once again, or we can allow our weaknesses to drown our future before it is revealed.

Riding life’s rapids is a wondrous challenge.  It can reveal your personal victory if you will allow it to.  Just let the river of life deliver you to the position you need before you know you need it.

 

Buoyant History

“I’ve had a great life.”

Carol Abbott Butterfield

Buoyant History

“You were born in 1927?”  I asked.

“Yes.” She replied.

“So, you lived the first one-fourth of your life during the Great Depression and then again in the past four years?”
“Yes, but I’ve had a great life!”

This conversation has been running through my mind again and again over the past few days.  I’ve thought about it over and over; thinking about it in detail and combining it with the historical setting racing in my mind.

Carol was born just before the big stock market crash in 1929. The event ushered in the financial crisis that led to more than 25% unemployment as well as huge despair.   In fact, the people I’ve know who lived through this exigent period have never gotten over the psychological impact for their entire lives.  The economic impact was so severe that nothing really made a difference in the financial and business climate until our people began to fight for their very lives during World War II.  Talk about being hit by one huge challenge after another!  I tell you this brief narrative to point out to you that unprecedented contrasting good followed this miserable and gloomy period.

Sometimes when in the throes of life-changing events it’s hard to use personal anticipation skills to give yourself the strength to move toward a brighter future.  That’s why I wanted you to know that there were many times when Carol felt as if she was not living on the sunny side of the street.  But now, as she looks at her life in total, she feels satisfaction and joy as a result of all the good things that have woven their way through her life.

The same will be true in your life if you will allow the lessons of history to act as guideposts to demonstrate the power of personal faith.  If you are experiencing hard times, know that good times will come to you again if you simply combine optimistic vision with devotional effort.  History has taught us that offering one of these two key ingredients alone is never enough. 

But, you have both elements inside already, so you have what it takes!  Always remember that ordinary people can and will do extraordinary things.  The personal history you’re writing now will add volumes of additional evidence!

Living With a Broken Heart

“When her heart was broken it changed her whole life.”

-      L. Clark

Living With a Broken Heart

I’ve known two people who have been living with a broken heart for a long, long time.  I’m sure I know some others as well, but I just don’t know it for sure.  One of the most interesting things about my experience with these two people in particular is that if another person were to look at them, they would not be able to detect their pain in any way.

A broken heart is not like a thrombosis. There is no formation or presence of blood clots that may partially or completely block an artery or vein.  But, they do have some things in common.  One thing’s for sure, a broken heart lies deep beneath the skin and many times you can’t see any signs of it on the outside.

That’s what I’ve noticed about the two broken hearts I know.  Both of them spend their lives living as if nothing bad ever happened to them at all.  They’re like streams of goodness, giving all they have to nourish everyone around them.  I was in a meeting once and heard one of them referred to as “an angel.”  It just goes to show that there are indeed angels living among us.

Perhaps, like my two friends, all angels were once good people living fine lives when something devastating happened to them.  And, it was that overwhelming event that allowed them to change from being simply human to angelic.  All I know is that my two angels have bridged the crevasse that once ripped through their heart by enlarging it in a magical way.

When I talked with one of them in great detail about her experience she said to me, “I was hurt so badly.    I was so embarrassed by what had happened that all I wanted to do was lie hiding in bed with my covers over my head.  But I had kids to take care of so I made myself get up every day and take care of them.”

Take care of them, she did!  Now she lives in a new life filled with expanding love as new grand and great grandchildren offer her unwavering love.  She never could have conceived of this palliative while in the depths of her misery.  All of this intensification of love has come as a result of her simple choice to get up every day and completely offer herself to the other, smaller, aching hearts encircling her.

When one faces trials in life there are always two chances for intensification.  One is to choose increasing the hate and despair that are so readily offered.  The other is to choose bridging the gap by showing increased love to everyone possible.  The first always leads to a growing chasm in the afflicted heart.  I once heard a man who made such a choice referred to as “the world’s only living heart donor!”  The second leads to a magical transformation into an angelic being. 

I hope you and I will always choose to completely offer our goodness to everyone around us no matter what happens to our hearts.  If we do, there will be many more angels out there and I know they’ll be on our side.  What could be more encouraging than that?