Making Something Good of Yourself

“Didn’t you know that the most important thing you can do is to show up every day.”

-John Barlow

Making Something Good of Yourself

Have you ever had one of those weeks when it seems as if you’ve worked much harder than normal and yet it appears as if nothing good has come from it?  I have.  Yet, this week the exact opposite happened to me and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it.  I can’t remember a time when so many loose ends seemed to be coming together after long struggle.

During my time of reflection, I remembered a conversation I had with my friend John Barlow a few years ago.  We were talking about creating success through work when he said, “Didn’t you know that the most important thing you can do is to show up every day?”

His comment caught me off guard.  It was something I knew, but at the same time I also knew, and still know, that showing up isn’t the only thing that creates success.  It must be used in combination with a good solid plan and self discipline to complete each step of the plan.  Still, showing up is a critical part of the success equation and it’s what I want to talk with you about today.

As I raised my daughters they would come to me and ask me if I liked a particular person after just meeting them.  My reply would always be the same, “I don’t know.  Time will tell.”  I would say that because I have discovered that it takes a great deal of time to be able to judge a person’s true character; especially my own.

Each one of us has times of smooth sailing through life and then we also have times of difficulty.  It is what we do during times of difficulty that reveals our true character.  I have known people that have crumbled when challenged and I have known people who have withstood their challenges and have become much stronger.  In many cases it is as if there are times when the world says, “You say you are honest, true, good, strong and successful.  Let’s see if you really are!”

When that occurs, I have observed that those who have risen to meet the challenge do so not knowing exactly what the outcome will be and when they have given their last ounce of strength, but still continue to persist, the tide turns and things mysteriously begin to turn their way again.  When that happens it doesn’t take them long to get back on their feet and feel renewed strength and confidence.

That’s what I want you to know.  My personal experience is that as I have worked on projects or goals for many years and have felt that there was no hope of success, but have kept going and making adjustments along my way, believing that if I just kept striving and changing internally that I would succeed in the long run.  Many times my success did not come in the form of my expectation.  It had morphed into something better than I had hoped.  In fact, I had changed in ways I could never have dreamed of.

That’s how I know that persistence creates character.  It’s a message we need to pass to all those around us.  If we will simply persist in changing inside so we can meet our challenges and overcome them, we will succeed.  Only then we will be the kind of people others want to spend their lives with.  We will have demonstrated our true character and we will be able to say, “I have made something good of myself.”

Doing the Right Stuff

“It’s important to take the time to see what people really need rather than just taking them some brownies.” -  Elayne Pearson

Doing the Right Stuff

Elayne and I were standing near a huge barbeque grill after a long night of cooking and serving food to our neighbors.  We served about 450 hamburgers and hot dogs to hundreds of men, women and children; many of whom were dressed in colorful costumes.

But, one costume was black and exceptionally tall; we estimated that this Grim Reaper was standing about nine feet tall!  It hovered and walked.  It talked and entertained.  The children ran under its tree branch arms as if they were dancing under a deciduous tree in the cool October evening.  And, as our night came to a close we still had not discovered the identity of this disguised character.

As Elayne was talking with me, I thought of how much this unidentified Grim Reaper was the perfect example of what she was describing.  Our annual October Neighborhood Gathering is designed to get all of us together so we can reconnect and look each other in the eyes without the impediments of windows and electronic devices.  It allows us to get to know each other better; to find out what’s happening in the lives of those we share our town with.

Many times we live with and around people for years without really getting to know and understand anything about them.  Their identity remains a mystery.  As we talked about what more we could do strengthen our community Elayne said, “It’s important to take the time to see what people really need rather than just giving them some brownies.”  

There are people living around us who are struggling to care for their children, who are jobless, and have debilitating illness.  If we don’t know who they are and what they’re facing they live alone.  If they live alone then they aren’t living as part of our community.  To make them part of our community we need to embrace them and as we embrace them, something magical happens to all of us.

The magic appears to us in the form of the disappearance of perceived separation between individuals.  It creates compassion; a sense of well being that swells in our hearts.  Heartfelt gratitude then grows, from the fulfilling friendships we enjoy, and we become part of something larger than ourselves.  We become a real community that wants to be more giving, kind and more willing to be forgiving and loving.  When that happens it is much easier to do more of the right stuff.

Doing the right stuff is something each one of us can do.  It doesn’t take a lot of money.  It is simply accomplished by opening our eyes and taking small steps to open our hearts.  Open hearts allow us to work together to solve the pressing problems our friends and communities are facing.  Now is the time for us to mobilize as individuals.  Now is the time to reach out.  None of us need permission to go out and do good; to do the right stuff.  So, let’s go out and give of ourselves today.

The 3% Solution

“You know how to do it!”

-      Dr. David Remington

The 3% Solution

I could visualize what my friend Dave was describing to me. “I have two huge stacks of text books by the side of my bed.  They’re the most current ones I can find.  I devour them every night!”  You’d never guess that a person closing in on sixty would be talking to me about text books with such passion; especially since he is not a professor or a teacher at a school.  He’s an orthodontist and dentist.

We were talking in his office and I asked him how he was always on the cutting edge of his profession.   He has amazed me with his use of the newest technologies and techniques.

“When the economy began to crash in 2007 I knew I had to make changes in my practice to survive.” He said.  “I took all my savings and reinvested them into my business.  I took courses from the best in the field and purchased new equipment so I could give my patients the best care possible.”

My eyes began to wander around the room as we talked.  I saw pictures of him with other doctors in different circumstances.  I asked him about the photos I saw.  “How did you get to be friends and collogues with such an august group of doctors?”

“You know how to do it,” he replied.  “I do research about training opportunities from the leaders in my field and then I contact them and take their courses.  Most of them are at least one week in length.”

“How can you afford to take the time off to do that?” I asked. 

“I can’t afford not to!” He answered.  “When I started down this road it took me a great deal of time to sort through all of the sales materials and get to understand who the best people and the real experts are.  Then I found out that the courses they offered were real hard to get in to.  They sold out fast!”

“Then I noticed that the people at the top of my field all know each other and they hang out together.  I had to demonstrate that I was one of them.  Once I did that it became easy.  It’s made me excited about my profession again and I love to learn more and more about it.  It means a lot to me to be able to help my patients in ways that very few others are able to!”

I looked seriously at him and asked, “So, you’re telling me that the best investment you’ve ever made is in yourself?”

“Yes!” He said.  “I’m busier than ever before during a time when lots of people in my field are struggling to survive.  Anyone can do what I’ve done in whatever field they work in.”

I listened carefully to what he was telling me.  I knew you’d want to know this important information so I’m sharing it with you.  Dave has shown me that what matters most in professional life is continual investment in yourself so you can be stay on the cutting edge.  Find out who the best in your field are and learn from them.  Make sure you surround yourself with this group of top producing people so you will be continually inspired by their vision and work.  Finally, give your knowledge and expertise to your clients freely so they’ll be able to benefit from your skills and competency. 

You’ve heard the 80-20 rule, but in my profession it’s now a 97-3 rule.  3% of the people make 97% of all the money!   If you follow these steps as revealed by Dave you’ll get the same type of strong business he enjoys!  You’ll be part of that 3% and have an inspiring professional life!  I know you can do it!  Start today.

A high school football game.

Two Missed Kicks

There were bright lights acting as the sun above that were making it possible to play a football game at night.  It was as close to a perfect temperature as it could possibly be.  The competition was also close to perfect.  It was the first and second place teams, in the high school region, playing each other.  One team was playing to keep their position as first.  The second team was playing to create a tie for first place.

The stands were filled by the time I arrived.  The West side was filled with people wearing the red of their school colors.  The East side was filled with people wearing the blue of their school colors.  I was sitting on the East side.  Noise was rising up all around me and it was echoed right back from the other side.  It got louder as the game progressed and came to a climax during the last three minutes of the contest.

The leading team had a slight, one point edge and was on defense as the clocked clicked down to 2:59.  As the time remaining declined, so did the yardage to a possible score.  People were screaming everywhere.  They were urging their team to victory.  And then, with only eight or so seconds left in the game, the red team’s field goal kicker began to jog onto the field.

The ball was hiked to the holder.  The kicker struck the ball with his foot.  The crowd on the West cheered wildly believing that the kick would be good.  Then, suddenly the crowd on the East erupted in untamed glee as they watched the referee signal that the kick was missed.  But, there was a penalty flag flying through the air and everyone watched as it hit the turf!

We watched the referee pick up the ball and begin to march, his death march from my perspective, fifteen yards closer to the goal.  The players lined up again.  One side hoped for a three or six point outcome and the other side hoped for the score to remain the same.  But, there were two lives that would be forever changed.

The Kick rose from the turf upon impact from the kicker.  All of the fans held their breath.  The players stood as statues with their gaze fixed on the ball and the goal.  The ball passed the goal, but didn’t yield any points.  The people around me were thrilled and relieved.  Their team was victorious!

While merry clamor was occurring all around me my attention and eyes were riveted to one boy still standing on the field.  I watched as his head lowered toward the ground and he walked alone toward his team huddled together at the side lines.  My heart went out to him because I knew he would face personal turmoil as a result of his failure to secure victory for his fellows.  He had no chance to redeem himself, the game was over.

The stands began to empty.  The parking lot was filled with lights heading toward home.  I stayed and watched.

The boy sat on his helmet with his head in his hands at the South end of the field.  He was alone in his grief.  At least that’s what I thought.

I began to walk the long distance toward him hoping to ease his torment.  But I wasn’t fast enough to reach him before two police officers left their posts and soon stood at his side.  They were speaking to him in kind, reassuring tones.  I couldn’t hear their words but I could see their smiles.  I could see the boy’s head lift in response.  I could see his countenance lighten with gratitude.   I don’t know if the officers knew the boy.  That didn’t matter.  The thing that mattered was that when they saw someone in need, they stepped up and offered a hand of relief.

There are people in need of relief all around us.  Sometimes they are alone in the middle of a packed stadium.  Sometimes they are shut up in their homes.  In order to see them we need only to open our eyes and see through the people or the walls that separate them from us.  Everyone matters and what we do to help each other matters. 

Reach out to someone today.  It will change both of your lives.

Seeing Life's Best at Your Worst

“I can see the blessings I keep receiving.”

Scott Bodell

Seeing Life’s Best at Your Worst

My friend Scott has a horrible neural disease.  He was describing it for me one time and I could hardly believe my ears as he spoke of “lightning strikes” across his brain and how it incapacitated him when they were storming through his head.  He has good days and bad days.  Unfortunately his bad days are becoming more numerous as the months march on.

I know this is the case, so sometimes when I’m driving past his house I feel the need to just stop in to see him and find out what I can do to help.  As we sit and visit I always learn a lot about weighty subjects such as charity, courage and gratitude.  This week was no exception as I sat on his couch across from him.

As soon as I sat down one of his little dogs jumped up into my lap and asked to be petted.  When she does so I like to pretend I don’t know what she wants.  When I do, she sits up on her haunches, tilts her head back and then lets it fall to my chest; it is a clear demonstration of her desire.  She’s like all of us.  She just wants to be recognized, be happy and feel good.

As I stroked her head, Scott and I talked about some of his current trials.  We talked in great detail about the current events in his life.  As we talked, I soon watched Scott sit up a little straighter and lift his head a little higher.  His eyes began to sparkle.  His mouth stopped moving for a moment and then he said, “You know, when I look carefully at everything that has been happening I can see the blessings I keep receiving!  Even when I’m having real difficult trials I’m still blessed!”

He finished talking and I saw him drop his head to rest it on the back to his chair.  For that moment he knew that he wasn’t alone in the universe.  He could see that he was being recognized.  He was happy and felt good.

I was feeling good as well.  Scott showed me that even during the stormiest periods of life good things still happen.  We just need to look for the good and accept it with gratitude.  When good comes during a personal tempest it is all the sweeter because we recognize it as the treasure it truly is.  The mark of good character, proven over time, is if you can see the best life has been giving you when you’re at your worst.

What's on Your Drawing Board?

“Oh, it will happen!”

- Danny Marz

What’s on Your Drawing Board?

I was standing in a large room, filled with people.  I didn’t know most of them.  There were only a handful of these successful people I knew.  But, that’s why I was there!  I wanted to rub shoulders with as many of them as I could.  I wanted to listen to the way they thought; learn about their experiences and absorb knowledge about the way they do things.  So, I didn’t stand longer than it took me to get my bearings and begin to move toward a corner of the room where three of my friends were waiting for me.

As I walked toward their table my eyes were scanning the room for one particular person.  He was this year’s non-profit company entrepreneur of the year.  Ernst and Young had given him the award in the early months of this year and I had promised to introduce another friend of mine to him.  I saw him and made a mental note of where he was standing so I could return.  And, it wasn’t long before I reached my three other friends and greeted them.

I was excited to grab Danny’s hand and shake it when I got to his table.  It was then I said, “Walk with me so I can introduce you.”

He knew exactly who I was speaking of and his excitement grew as we approached the location of my mentally marked friend.  Our timing was perfect.  He was alone and I made the introduction.

Danny said, “May I call you?  I have a dream I want to reach and I’d like to pick your brain to see if you could help me avoid some pit-falls.”

He replied with, “Sure, I’d love to help you.  Lynn can give you my phone number.  I really hope you can make what you described happen.”

“Oh, it will happen!  It’s on my drawing board and once things are there they happen for sure!”

I stood in wonder at his words.  It was as if I heard them over and over again in my mind and I thought, “Danny has discovered an important principle!  It isn’t enough just to dream of a great future, one must conceive it, plan it out in great detail and then go out and take the steps necessary to complete the dream!”  I felt honored to be there and participate in completing one more step in the creation of his dream.

The human mind lives to make its dreams a reality.  Yours is no different!  You have everything you need to make your dreams a reality so put them on your drawing board and live your dreams.  In the end I hope you can say in amazement, “What do you do when you real life exceeds your wildest dreams!”

 

 

Doubt Not and Believe in Yourself

Circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself.

- Allen James

Doubt Not and Believe in Yourself

The world we live in can be filled with tragedy.  I was reminded of this over this entire week as my family dealt with the death of a loved one.  This particular tragedy was not unexpected.  We all knew it was coming and we did everything we could to plan for an easing of the way.  Still, even with all of our preparation, the finality of death takes its measure.

In a particularly difficult moment, I sat talking with my daughter Annie about personal power and what it means to possess power as we reasoned about the feeling of loss we shared.  I put my arm around her and felt her tear stained cheek against mine.  It was a time when all possible feelings of power seemed to be lost in the mist of emotional fog accompanying a terrible storm.  In fact, this moment took me back to a time when I was very young, on a day when the winds were howling from the mountains to the East. 

The wind hurled down the canyons with speeds toping seventy miles per hour.  I could feel the power of the wind and it made me feel alive and strong inside.  I wanted to incorporate that power into my being.  So, I unzipped my coat and leaving my arms in the sleeves reached down to the right and left corners of the fabric and hoisted it above my head as if it were a sail.  As soon as I did so, the wind seized its opportunity to answer my foolishness by making me nothing more than a piece of flying debris.  But I wasn’t only debris.  I learned two important lessons from this youthful storm experience.

First, I was more than just another piece of mindless debris.  I quickly saw my folly and released the sail so I could lie safely on the ground.  I was able to use my mind to regain control of my actions regardless of what was happening in a turbulent world.  What happens in the world outside of me does not need to control what happens within my inner world.

Second, my individual actions make an impact on what happens in the world outside of me.  External circumstances do not remove personal power.  Being human means having power; specifically, the power to accomplish whatever we want.  We only lose personal power by choosing to relinquish it.

I know you will face storms throughout your life.  I have.  But, one of the blessings of age is that experience has shown me that if I will use my mind and heart to control my own actions I will be able to impact the results I achieve.  Circumstances haven’t made me who I am or who I’ll become.  They simply reveal character.  You have the power to determine what kind of life you’ll live, how you’ll live it, and how you’ll react to the storms that swirl around you.  Doubt not, believe in yourself, and use your heart and mind to accomplish whatever you want.