Rockin' Good

9/11 Charity Golf Tournament and Concert

Rockin’ Good

Once in a while I run into to someone who redefines what “possible” means.  When I do meet such a person I’m forced me reevaluate my own beliefs.  My mind is stretched and my personal reality is shifted in a profound way.  Such people create a sort of emotional or spiritual sense of certainty as to what is possible.   And, when they change my perspective they not only alter my experience, they can also change the world in an exponential way.  I saw this process culminate first hand this week as my friend Danny Marz executed the first annual 9/11Charity Golf Tournament and Concert.

I watched Danny plan and work to put this event together over the past few months.  He said, “I want to do something to benefit our soldiers who have been wounded while protecting our freedom.”

He developed a relationship with Operating Rebound so he would have a vehicle to provide the help he wanted to give and then he began to reach out to others to help.  He personally went door to door contacting businesses seeking sponsors.  He called music and sports celebrities asking them to come so they would be an additional draw to attendance.  He hired and scheduled the venue.  He selected a headline band to come and play.  Then he backed up the venue with three different warm up bands.  He recruited volunteers to help manage the event on September 11^th.   Finally, he partnered with a major radio station to market this important charitable event.

When I arrived to volunteer I was amazed to see the number of volunteers I knew.  It was wonderful to see the celebrities who were there to give.  It was heartwarming to see the crowds of people who were there to give money and their time to such a worthy cause.

Danny made sure that his cause was leveraged by more than 1000 as a result of his vision.  Participants were emotionally and spiritually engaged and the world was changed immeasurably.  I know my life was and everyone I talked with is excited to work together again next year.

I saw Danny again today.  We’re going to participate in an additional charitable event hosted by another friend of ours this week.  Until I began to associate with such good and giving people I had no idea that so much good could be accomplished.   I thought I understood the description of a mathematical entity that involves the transcendental number raised to an exponent, the concept of becoming greater in size, until I saw what adding numbers of good people simultaneously could accomplish.

I have learned that good people combining their desire and action to do good things will cause greater good to be accomplished.  The people around us will combine with us to benefit charitable causes if we simply ask.  Ask them to help you fulfill your dreams of giving and you’ll have a new sense of certainty that great things are coming.  My friend Ed said, “Doing good as a group has changed the whole feeling and dynamic of my son’s neighborhood.  Without having the opportunity to serve neighbors, the truly great things about living in a neighborhood would have remained undiscovered.”

Discover the truly great things about living in your neighborhood and community; be rockin’ good.

Courage with a Smile

“I hurt so bad inside.”

Courage with a Smile

I was on my way to a meeting with a friend and I called her in preparation for the conference that was to occur in just three hours.  As soon as I heard the tone of her voice I knew something was wrong.  At first I was worried there was something wrong with our transaction, but in another second I could tell it was a personal challenge bothering her.

She was having a lot of changes in her life and there was no doubt she was receiving more than her fair share right now.  I asked her what was wrong.  She hesitated; then burst with an audible gasp.  You know the kind I’m talking about.  It’s like the rupture of an emotional dam bursting.

“I just found out that my husband, the one I’m in the middle of a divorce with, has been cheating on me over the last year!  I hurt so bad inside!”

The thing that was so amazing to me was that I had already had two face to face meetings with her earlier in the week and there was no hint of her internal pain.  I also knew that one of the principal people in her office had just been transferred and that she was overwhelmed with her increased work load.  But still, there was no hint of her internal turmoil.  All I could see was the smile on her face and a cheerful glow in her eyes.

Our meeting that afternoon went without a hitch, except for the unruly children running around the office jumping on computers and desks!  Through it all, my friend’s smile never left her face and our clients would have never guessed she was in such pain.  I sat in admiration of her courage, but I was to find another surprise the very next day.

Our meeting the next day didn’t start until late in the afternoon.  It was Friday and the end of a long hard week.  If ever there was a time when I could have seen my friend’s smile crack this would have been the perfect time.  But it didn’t happen.  In fact, her smile was brighter than ever.  She laughed and talked with our clients in a way to suggest that she didn’t have a care in the world.  For the duration of the meeting our clients were the center of her universe and she was the sun throughout our time together.

When the meeting ended our clients left the building.  I stayed for a minute with my friend to finish up a couple of minor details and asked her a careful question.

“How are you?”  It was more than a question of the surface.  It was a cautious inquiry meant to let her know that I was fully aware of her situation and truly cared.  I talked slowly and paused long enough to let her gather her thoughts so she could give me a composed answer.

“Things are hard today.” She said.  “But, all this will be over in a few days and I’ll be happy again!”

“Happy again?”  I thought to myself. 

She smiled as she spoke.  Her eyes were shining as bright as the sun outside!  I’ve seen courage before.  I’ve seen happiness before.  But I have never seen the two in combination before.  This was a new experience for me.  It’s an example I want to emulate in my own life.

We all have challenges.  I know I do.  Now I can see that I can face them with a smile.  I know I won’t change completely over night, but I’ve had an exemplar to show me the way.  Just knowing that it’s possible has opened up a whole new way of life for me.  I hope it has opened a new possibility for you as well.

Living in Spacce

“I just have so much to do I just don’t have any time to do what I really want to do.”

- Kilee Johnson
Living in Space

Kilee lives a very busy life.  She works full time, owns a home, is married, has a couple of pets, grows a large vegetable garden and loves to quilt.  It seems as if she is always working on a project.  In fact, she is the closest thing to a perpetual motion generator I’ve ever seen.  I see her fairly regularly; she’s also my daughter.  When I talked with her last, she was gasping for breath because she was also doing me a favor and it took her longer than she had anticipated.

“I just have so much going on!” She said as we talked on the phone.  “I don’t have time to do what I really want to do.”

“That’s because you always fill your schedule with projects to do.” I replied.  “You know, you don’t have to do everything you’re doing?”

As I listened to her reply I realized that Kilee suffers from a mistaken belief that emptiness is the same thing as nothingness.  For some reason our society has come to think that, “we are what we do” and “we are nothing else.”  This means that for millions of us, space does not exist.

But, nothing could be farther from the truth.  I go out into the night and look up in the sky and I can see space filled with stars.  I stand on my deck looking out to the South and see that there is space between my neighbor’s house and mine.  I look around me and see that there is space between my body and the body of others.  I look inside my home and see that there is an empty, space, room where Kilee used to live.  All these things have allowed me to realize that without space we would have no options.  There would be no new possibility.

Emptiness is everything – all possibilities of existence and nonexistence occurring simultaneously!  It is our nature to live in emptiness.  We have just forgotten that plain and simple fact.  So, I said something important to Kilee.

“You need to create space in your life; you don’t need to do everything you’re doing.  Don’t fill your life to the point where there is nothing else that can fit.  If you continue to live without emptiness, the possibilities you have seen in your dreams cannot come into your life.  There won’t be room for them!”

The words left my mouth to my own ears!  “I need to live in space myself!  In fact, I think I’m going to start by dusting off my space suit.  I haven’t seen it for a long time and I’ve been missing the wonders of the universe as a result!”

Do you know where your space suit is?

Small Things, Huge Results

“They’d be embarrassed so I’ll just call it a trade.”

Sue Butterfield

 
Small Things, Huge Results

Sue had given me a large stack of checks to take to our credit union to deposit and the day was slipping away quickly.  I was just leaving my office and was on the way to another meeting when I drove past a branch that would allow me to leave the stack of paper.  I walked in the building and handed a teller the deposit.  I watched as she began the long process of scanning the many checks until she finished.  It all seemed so pedestrian.  But it wasn’t.

The teller handed me one check back and said, “This one won’t clear so I won’t deposit it.  I don’t want you to be charged a returned check fee.”  She made a change to the deposit amount and I accepted the returned check.  I left and continued on my way.

When I got home later that night I handed the check to Sue and said, “Out of all of those checks the one that was returned was from one of our friends!” 

She took the check in hand and said with a smile, “No need to call them.  They’ll be so embarrassed and I don’t want that to happen.  Since they were so kind to us a couple of weeks ago, we’ll just call it a trade!”

I stood watching as Sue spoke those words and knew immediately that it was the right thing to do.  It was such a small check.  But it could have had a large cost to our friendship if not handled with consideration and kindness.   Kindness and consideration have much more value than money could ever have.  When combined with friendship they are priceless.

There are so many times its easy forget what has real value as we walk through life.  Its also easy to take a minute to stop to think about what’s of real value in dealing with everyday life situations.  Showing consideration is such a small thing with an ability to have a huge impact.  If you want to do what appears to be a little thing and also something huge all at once show kindness and consideration.  You’ll never forget the result and neither will those to whom you show your goodness.  Don’t let your chance slip away!

Magical Perseverance

“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into thin air.” – John Quincy Adams

Magical Perseverance

I have known my friend Ron Hein for right at thirty years now.  So, when he called me a few weeks ago asking me to help market a family property I was so glad.  I knew we would be able to spend some good personal time together.  You see, we have been in the throes of raising families and haven’t spent much time together as a result.  Now our lives are changing and we are entering a new season.

Ron’s father recently passed away and he, along with his siblings, were left with his home of many years to clean up and distribute.  He invited me to walk through the house, along with his brother and sister, so I could have an idea of what help they needed to find a new owner.  It was during this meeting that I first got an idea as to the kind of resilience that life was developing within Ron.

Since I work in sales I have often repeated the words of Samuel Johnson during difficult transactions.  He said, “Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.”  I have learned over time that few attributes correlate more directly with success than does perseverance.  It is also one of the toughest characteristics to instill in oneself.  In fact, shrugging off failure and redoubling efforts takes perseverance.  Picking oneself up off the ground to where one has been knocked and taking another shot at the goal takes perseverance.   Resisting pain, sometimes humiliation, too, and remaining stubbornly focused on the task takes enormous reserves of perseverance.

So how do you increase your ability to persevere?  The answers were revealed to me as I listened to Ron recount his current situation.  Two of the most traumatic events life offers us are death of a loved one and completing a real estate transaction.  My friend was in the middle of dealing with both at the same time!  This experience has taught him to follow his head rather than his heart or body.

Ron works full time every day and has spent nights, for months, cleaning his father’s old home, making repairs and reclaiming the yard.  Through this period I can guarantee you that his heart has urged him to spend his evenings relaxing with family or friends.  There have been evenings when his body has urged him to climb into bed and go to sleep.  And, each and every time he overcame one of these urgings and adhered to his plan he increased his ability to persevere!  He was strengthening his perseverance muscle.

I don’t know many people who get up each morning saying, “Oh boy, I hope I can strengthen my perseverance muscle today!”  Perhaps that’s why life comes with “seasons of living;” each season brings with it new joys, new challenges and new growth if we will simply see the opportunities and grasp them. 

To get the most growth possible grasping means more than just living though events.  One must internalize the challenge, embrace it and own the resulting growth.  Only then can one be fully ready to move on to new opportunities.  Perseverance naturally leads to resilience.

It is having the attribute of resilience that will allow you to have deep joy and hope for the future.  It allows you to spring into your future with confidence and anticipation.  Have you looked into the eyes of a two-year-old as she learns one skill and then follows her shinning eyes with haste and vigor to her next lesson?  That’s what I wish for you! Look at the world through two-year-old eyes and enjoy your life with delight!

Cloaked Opportunity

“When I don’t feel as if I’m making enough progress due to seemingly insurmountable obstacles, I never worry because I know it’s a sign of copious opportunity.”

- George Smith

Cloaked Opportunity

I sat in a large room filled with people, but it felt as if I was alone, captivated with what George was teaching me.  George has a lot to teach because of his experience, knowledge and wisdom.  You see, he was a child during the Great Depression, one of the worst economic periods in world history.  He also saw the damage done to veterans who returned from World War I, the war to end all wars.  And, while he didn’t fight in World War II, he ran a large corporation and had trouble staffing important positions as a result of the war.

What is most fascinating to me is that during his leadership, in those challenging times, his company’s revenue more than doubled!  When I asked him how that could be, he looked at me through his horn rimmed glasses and said, “I simply had no doubt about our success and surrounded myself with others who believed in the same vision.”

He continued, “When I don’t feel as if I’m making enough progress due to seemingly insurmountable obstacles, I never worry because I know it’s a sign of copious opportunity!  Obstacles crush some people.  But, I’ve found they create opportunities that didn’t exist before.  They change the landscape! ”

“He knows what he’s talking about.”  I said to myself.  I thought of how the world has changed over his life time.  He has kept his philosophy through it all and still looks forward to the future with eagerness.

“I’m at my best when most people are wringing their hands.  I see two things in tough times.  First, there is less competition because many others are paralyzed by fear.  Second, I’ve learned to look at historical recurrences so I can accurately predict what is coming in the future.  These two patterns have been repeated over and over again.  I have learned to count on them and I’ve never been sorry.”

George has been able to count on constants in what others view as inconsistent times.  That’s why he is always positive in personality and positive about the good things that will certainly be coming into his life.  While the future remains cloaked for virtually everyone in the world, it is merely an exciting smorgasbord of opportunity for him.  He loves to share his secrets with everyone who will listen.  He wants them to enjoy the same advantages he’s enjoyed throughout his long, successful life.

“Almost everything is mental.” George says.  “The most important landscape to change is that of your mind.  Be excited when you see others running for cover.  Be a student of history and learn its lessons so you don’t make the mistakes of others.  Then apply what you learn so you can use it as your guide when others are seemingly lost and discouraged.  Finally, never stop living.  I view death as a choice in most cases.  I continue to choose to live and I hope you will too!"

Intangible Connections

“I’m so glad you came.  We do this every year.  I hope you will come again next summer!”

Camille Higgins

Intangible Connectivity

High in the mountains in the middle of the night there was a gunshot and then the loud clamor of pots and pans banging.  These noises at about two a.m. were not expected in such a normally serene atmosphere.  But, when there is a black bear prowling around a camp ground such noises at night are merely defensive blare until the morning glow bursts in as a protector.

In the light of the sun it was easy to see large paw prints on the damp ground and even on the sides of trucks, trailers, and motor homes.  These signs of the night’s prowler also served to stimulate excited conversation between traveling neighbors.  Who would have guessed that a group of people who live together in the same town and have known each other for many years would need to have a bear stimulate a conversation that would lead to deepened friendship and understanding? 

In fact, when riding in my friend Mike’s truck that very morning he said, “You know, I’ve known you for many years and have never really talked with you!”

Had my friend Danny and Mike & his wife Camille not planned and made all of the arrangements for this outing, the opportunity for me to spend time getting to know my neighbors better would have never happened.  We would have simply continued living our separate lives, together in the same town.  I would not have discovered the concept of Intangible Connectivity.

This trip caused me to understand that true relationships do not exist without a framework of Intangible Connectivity.  That is to say, living next to, or near someone else and knowing who they are does not automatically translate into friendship or really “knowing” them. 

To really get to know someone and become their friend you need to spend time with them.  You need to see the people they live their lives with.  You need to see how they react to challenging situations that surprise them.  You need to open your ears and listen to their dreams, hopes and plans for the future; intangibles.  Intangibles are things that allow you to have more than a superficial relationship; things that build a deeper connection. 

Connections to other people are the generator of life.  They are the creator of joy, long term happiness and wealth in all areas of your life.  Build greater connections today by spending time with your neighbors and friends.  Invite them into your life and enjoy the results. 

I’ve seen my camping friends since our trip.  We greeted each other warmly, like never before.  After all, we faced death from the jaws of a bear, road ATVs, fished, cooked over a fire, and talked for several days.  Now I call all of that an Intangible Connection.