“A couple of months later, I had just been diagnosed with cancer, was emotionally drained and not feeling well physically, when at midnight, someone began pounding on my front door.” – Mike Stillo

Fueling Neighborly Friendship

“When I was living in Georgia a few years ago, the neighborhood in which I was living was filled with people.  Not neighbors.”  Mike said while talking with a group of his current neighbors.

His old neighborhood, especially one particular next-door-neighbor, was a place of constant disagreement.  

“My next-door-neighbor seemed to be in shouting matches and sometimes fights in his front yard every week!”  Mike said.  “I was having a difficult time in my own life at the time, so I thought, if I could concentrate on helping someone with more troubles than I had, my own difficulties would somehow feel less burdensome.” He explained, before conveying the story of what I call, “Mike’s Method” for sparking warmer personal relationships.

In order to spark a better relationship with his neighbor, Mike decided he’d make sure to be outside as much as possible during times when his difficult neighbor came home.  He rationalized, “I would simply be there when he drove up to his house.  That way I could just walk over and start a conversation with him in a natural way.  I did this for a couple of years.  And then, in an effort to be in a position to give myself more chances to talk to him whenever he came outside, I began to chop a lot of wood!”

After splitting logs, he purposely stacked the wood next to the fence he shared with his acquaintance, hoping it would act as fuel to create a friendship. He continued to split and stack wood this way, right up until the day his grandson, the boy Mike was raising, came running into their house.

“The neighbor is stealing our firewood!”  He said with exaggerated animation. “Are you going to go over and talk with him?”

“No.” Mike, always a teaching grandfather, calmly responded.  “Let’s go out right now and throw the wood over the fence, into his yard.  He probably needs it more than we do!”

As soon as they finished gifting the firewood, Mike and his grandson were expecting their efforts to spark a change in the man they were trying to befriend.  They thought their next-door-neighbor would come over and express his gratitude. Yet, when the spark they offered toward a brighter-burning friendship, through the tendered kindling, seemed to have been fully dampened, both Mike and his grandson were discouraged.  But, they needn’t have been.

Mike’s eyes filled with tears as he described what happened next.  “A couple of months later, I had just been diagnosed with cancer, was emotionally drained and not feeling well physically, when at midnight, someone began pounding on my front door.  I answered the banging and found my neighbor, fully distraught, standing in front of me.  He seemed to be a broken man as he said, ‘My mother is in the hospital!  I need someone to teach me how to pray!’”

That’s when Mike ushered his distressed neighbor into the full glow of friendship by inviting him in.  Unfortunately, not more than a couple of days later, Mike was admitted into a hospital himself, so doctors could treat his worsening disease.  When he returned home, his new friend and neighbor had moved.

“When I was living in Georgia a few years ago, the neighborhood in which I was living was filled with people.  Not neighbors.  That is, until I decided to spark a friendship with the man next door, through the gift of firewood.  In the end, we connected in a very deep and touching way.  I’ll never forget the night, when a once gruff man, came over to ask for help.  I was so glad to have been there for him then, when he needed a neighbor.  I can still feel the warmth of our connection to this day.”

Are you looking to spark warmer personal connections in your own life?  Then use “Mike’s Method” so you can feel the inner warmth fuel by the gifts you offer to your neighbors.

Pin Your Tale on the Donkey

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

Pin Your Tale on the Donkey

“Will you please take my photo with the burro?”  I asked my friend Bob Bemis as we walked together, while enjoying a welcome reception for the conference we were attending.  “I want to keep it around so I can remember the power of being sure-footed and stubborn.”  Burros are possibly most famous for their inherent stubborn streak.

Some people are known for their stubborn natures as well.  It’s a quality that’s not always viewed as positive.  Yet, there are positive traits, I can think of, which are considered its derivatives.  These attributes include tenacity, persistence and perseverance.  

Imaginably Michael Jordan was thinking of these very characteristics, and the burro, when he said, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

Failing is hard.  But, if you and I can visualize a small, sure-footed, persistent burro while experiencing trying times, perhaps we’ll be encouraged to follow her example and enjoy speedier success, while suffering less emotional turmoil.   Emulating positive traits of the burro, and making them part of our personal tale, can help all of us tap in to the core of what we are made to do; learn from our mistakes and feel the joy of personal growth.

Tale-of-the-donkey one.  Take the time to notice how your failures have changed you for the better.  While walking a rocky path, a burro pays close attention to the details of the trail.  They keep their head and eyes focused on the route at all times.  This allows them to notice every detail, every obstacle they are facing, no matter how small or large.  They have an amazing ability to remember the particulars of the path so they’ll be prepared to make adjustments as they progress.  If you and I will do the same, we’ll be able to use the power of recollection to aid us in the remembrance of who we once were, and how experience has made us wiser and stronger.

Tale-of-the-donkey two.  Allow your experience to assist you in establishing a greater belief in your ability to adapt. A seasoned burro knows she can count on her steady legs and hoofs to serve her over and over again, through difficult circumstances, because she’s gained confidence in her ability as a result of successfully traversing hard trails.  You and I can do the same.  Hold your failures in their rightful place, as experiences leading you closer and closer toward realizing your true potential.

Tale-of-the-donkey three.  Track all of your successes back to your failures, or as your mother and father said, “Remember where you came from and who you are.”  Burros know they’re burros.  So, they always act like burros.  As humans, we sometimes forget to remember the example of those who paved our way and brought us into the world.  Neither you, nor I would be alive today, enjoying a quality of life unmatched in all of history, had others not overcome many failures on their way toward growing success.  

No. Our ancestors were not perfect.  Yes. They failed over and over again.  And, look at the amazing word we’ve inherited from them!  We’re all human!  We’ll fail and we’ll ultimately succeed in becoming better than we were yesterday, because that’s what humans do.  History is a testimony of how people have stubbornly grown personally and collectively, often with a burro by their side.

“Will you please take my photo with the burro?”  I asked my friend Bob as we walked together, while enjoying a welcome reception for the conference we were attending.  “I want to keep it around so I can remember the power of being sure-footed and stubborn.”  Burros are possibly most famous for their inherent stubborn streak and I wanted to keep a visual reminder. 

An aide-mémoire to pin my tale on the donkey.

“His pull on the leash was strong.  So strong, that I could feel something extra, a tug up my arm and into my heart.  It caused me to think of something previously unthought of.”

Too Much Your Own

It was a bright, somewhat cool, and breezy Sunday morning.  I was out with Harry Pupper, walking one of our regular routes across rolling hills, around flowing streams, over grass and through mature trees.  He was exhilarated, darting from side to side, from one edge of the path to the other, happily zipping with his nose to the grass, tugging.  His pull on the leash was strong.  So strong, that I could feel something extra, a tug up my arm and into my heart.  It caused me to think of something previously unthought of.

As soon as the forbidden thought crossed my mind I looked around.  There was not one person in sight.  So, I bent over, asked him to come to me, and released the leash from his harness.  He flew off!

I watched as the speed in his legs allowed him to float across the ground.  The speed of his zigs and zags increased as he ran free.  He was smiling!

I was also smiling.  His frolic was joyous to behold.  It seemed as if we were more deeply connected.  With all his running, with all his new-found freedom, he was still watching me.  So, I tested our connection.

Harry ran to the right, just up a little rise.  I walked to the left, listening.  Expecting.

Within a couple of seconds, I heard him coming toward me like a freight train!  I laughed out loud as he ran in huge circles around me; as if he had herded me into his control.  Then, he stopped.  He was tired.  His tongue lolled outside of his open, panting mouth and I asked him to come to me.

I connected his leash back to his harness and thought of Oliver Burkeman’s words, “You can grasp the truth that power over your time isn’t something best horded entirely for yourself: that your time can be too much your own.”

Our time is meant to be shared with the others around us.  Not just our time, but our talents and gifts as well.  Yet, the sharing of all three, by letting ourselves be free from our own self-connected leashes, can introduce us to some of our most frightening moments.  My friend Aubrey Patterson confessed this very thing to me earlier in the week while having dinner with her husband Aaron and me.

“One of the scariest things I’ve ever done was to run for city council!  But, I wanted to get to give more to the people of our city and learn from those we live with.  I’m more than just a professional teacher.  I’m a learner as well and I’m just taking one step after another, in faith.” She said as we discussed her current campaign for the state legislature.  Then, her husband Aaron followed her comments with his own words.

“I thought of her life long experience and education.  It allowed me to see that she has been preparing for this her whole life!”

“Your time isn’t something best horded entirely for yourself: that your time can be too much your own.” Oliver Burkeman’s words echoed in my mind again.  

Perhaps you and I have also been prepared, through our life’s long experience and education, to connect more deeply to others as well, by offering our time, talents and gifts freely, unfettered by the binding leash of our own fear of the unknown.  If so, we may also desire to follow the example of the short-legged dog, Harry Pupper.

Once, the forbidden thought of releasing the latch of Harry’s leash crossed my mind and I released the clasp from his harness.  He flew!

I witnessed the speed of his legs allow him to fly across the ground.  The quickness of his zigs and zags increased as he ran free.  He was smiling!  We were smiling.  His frolic was joyous to behold.  And, we became more deeply connected than ever before.  

Such freedom, joy and connection with others can only be experienced when we allow ourselves to take one step at a time, in faith, away from the leash holding us to fear.

Sometimes, we can be too much our own.

Peace Offering

 

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.  To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy is to have the real spirit of Christmas.” – Calvin Coolidge

Peace Offering

“I was out of money!”  Sharon said.  “So, I went to a business, I owed money to, so I could tell them I didn’t have enough funds to pay them right now.  I was hoping they would give me more time to get them their money.”

What happened to Sharon while in that same store surprised and touched her.  The man behind the counter pulled out his wallet and handed her some of his own money saying, “I hope this helps” while offering Sharon Newton a heartfelt-gift. Such offered, voluntary compassion to another, unknown person, brings to mind a statement once made by Calvin Coolidge.

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.  To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy is to have the real spirit of Christmas.”

Oliver Burkeman, author of “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals” wrote about this very same type of personalized giving by counseling everyone to “see that preparing nutritious meals for your children might matter as much as anything could ever matter, even if you won’t be winning any cooking awards; or that your novel’s worth writing if it moves or entertains a handful of your contemporaries, even though you know you’re no Tolstoy; or that virtually any career might be a worthwhile way to spend a working life if it makes things slightly better for those it serves.”

Sharon has always been believed in following such a path of service in life.  She made it her life’s work as teacher of language to children for her entire career.  And now, even though she’s retired from professional teaching, her commitment to blessing lives, one by one, has not waned in the slightest; as witnessed by one of her friend’s again just days ago.

Sharon wanted to give a holiday gift to her friend, even as her finances were wearing thin.  She’s been giving of herself for so long that it didn’t take her but mere moments to decide how to express her love to this friend.  Here’s how her friend described Sharon’s offering of affection.

“I went to visit Sharon to make sure all was well.  I also wanted to give her a small Christmas gift and wish her all my best.  She’s always doing so much for the children she volunteers to teach.  But, just after I offered my small token to her she touched my heart by giving me something precious.  A gift which was truly from her heart.”

Upon Sharon’s graceful reception of her friend’s gift she proffered a boxed gift of her own to her friend, saying, “I wanted to give you something special.  I’ve been collecting these over the years and they’re dear to me.  Just like you are.”

The gift Sharon gave her friend was more than just the annually collected, china ornaments contained in the box.  She was offering a portion of herself, plenteous mercy, goodwill as well as the cherished peace obtainable only through heartfelt friendship.

“I was out of money!”  Sharon said to a group of her friends at a cordial gathering.  “So, I went to a business, I owed money to, and told them I didn’t have the funds to pay them right now.  I was hoping they would give me more time to get them their money.”

What happened to Sharon while in that same store surprised and touched her.  The man behind the counter pulled out his wallet and handed her some of his own money saying, “I hope this helps” while offering Sharon Newton a heartfelt-gift. 

Such voluntary compassion given freely by both this unknown man and Sharon are validations of their conviction and commitment to establish peace on earth.

No one is meant to go through this life alone.  Just imagine if everyone continually gave offerings of peace, just as Sharon and the giving-man behind the counter.

Silver Linings

The silvery tree discovered on an early November morning.

Silver Linings

The dim light of early morning was interrupted by the silvery frame of an almost leafless tree standing alone in the center of a green-space island.  Its bright-white-outline captured my sight immediately.  But, the striking color of the trunk and branches weren’t what kept my interest riveted there.

My eyes followed the arching curve of the tree’s life-story telling, gnarly branches.  “This tree has been through a lot!”  I thought as I studied its unique, illuminous shape.  “Yet, it maintains a striking stature and color.  It depicts the living of life focused on silver linings.”

Its silvery color causes it stand out from the trees in the small forest just across the road.  At one time there were also likely other trees surrounding this iconic tree.  That was before the business park, in which it now lives, was constructed.  Those other trees as all gone, but this one was deemed special, different from the others.  So, it was preserved, I imagine.  It is a piece of living art.

The art of living is something I think about a lot.  Because, a human life, like the life of a tree can take all types of twists and turns.  And, the way a person perceives his or her own storyline is what yields the possibility of turning the commonplace into something of striking beauty or ugliness. It is a comparative story of how one chooses between artfully living a life filled with silver linings, or living a dreary existence as though sentenced to a life filled with sadness and despair.  It is a decision of branching and trajectory.

The measure of a full tree, just like one’s life, can’t be wholly viewed by looking at one single branch.  It must be taken in, whole.  That’s not always easy when life gets busy and you lose your focus on who you want to be.  To do so one must take the time to step out of the current circumstance, once in a while, and complete the exercise of viewing one’s life in its entirety; as if it is a story being acted out in front of an observer.  If done, you and I will be able to see things in a whole new light.

One friend, now a retired attorney, told me that once he completed this rehearsal of individual storytelling, he could see that even the hard times he had faced during his life had turned out to be valuable, exceptional, focused periods of growth.  “I had never thought of my trials as being really great experiences before.  Now I view them as silver linings in my life!  I can see them as opportunities which created beautiful, gnarly branches of character that have given my life added interest and reward.”  He added with a sparkle in his eyes that seemed to make his entire countenance glow.

As he spoke to me, just two hours after I discovered the silvery tree, I could see that his inner glow was all the more visible because of his decision to allow the dead leaves of his past, potential distractions, to fall away.  I could see his strong trunk and gnarled, artfully curving branches spreading out, on full silvery-display, as a result.

My early morning errand had been punctuated by the silvery frame of an almost leafless tree standing alone in the center of a green-space island.  Its bright-white-outline captured my sight immediately and pushed the dim of early morning’s light to illumination though its majestic glow.  But, the striking color of the trunk and branches weren’t what kept my interest riveted there.

My eyes followed the arching curve of the tree’s life-storytelling-trunk and gnarly branches.  “This tree has been through a lot!”  I thought as I studied its unique, illuminous shape.  “Yet, it exhibits a striking stature and color.  It depicts the living of life focused on silver linings.”  Just like my friend’s echoed rehearsal of his own experience.

Both, the tree and the man, resonated a tale of how the hard times you and I will surely face during our lives will turn into valuable, exceptional, focused periods of growth if we will choose to view them through a view trained on seeing the accompanying silver linings!

When Numbers Don't Add

“I have thought and thought about my own actions!” – Dawn Howe

When Numbers Don’t Add

“I have thought and thought about my own actions!”  Dawn Howe said while relating the pieces of a long drawn out story of consternation.

She didn’t know it at the time, but the beginning of this story began at her small Southern Utah, local airport when a private aircraft landed.  Dawn and others, who were meeting at the airport, watched the unknown plane taxi from the runway and park just outside the small terminal.  A few moments after the engine wound down a hatch on the side of the plane opened and the pilot climbed down the stairs.  It was someone she didn’t know, yet would have a huge impact on the long-standing personal relationships in her life.

“This guy talked big from the moment he walked off that plane!”  Dawn explained as she began to review her process of basic addition.

Dawn’s process of addition is simple math that everyone of us can use when faced with complex issues in dealing with others.  Dawn says she developed this approach because she “needed a way to reduce confusion” when interacting with others.  You see, the pilot of that airplane began a cascading process of dividing lifelong friends as soon as he came to town.

“He began to tell us all different stories!  We were trying to help him as much as possible because we wanted to believe he was a good person.  It wasn’t until my friends and I got together to compare notes that we began to discover discrepancies.”  Dawn said as she described the man’s use of long division.  “As my friends and I compared our experiences it became clear he was using the mathematical principle of long division to separate us!  That’s how I thought of using principles based on mathematical proofing to solve my own clarity issues.”

Dawn honed her own proofing process by using similar mathematical proofing theory to reach logical conclusions and calm her emotional turmoil.  Here’s how she describes her method of “proofing.”

First, I mentally reviewed every person in detail and said, “What’s their track record with me?  As soon as I had gone through this process I had a clear picture of everyone.  It was like taking a stack of personal head shots and laying them on the table next to each other.  That was like seeing the answer before even completing the math!”  Dawn said.

“Next, I asked myself, who have I known the longest?  I relied on my personal experience with more than one person, variable, in the equation and weighted each variable accordingly.  I sort of labeled everyone involved and identified them by the length of my interaction experience with them.”

Finally.  She asked, “What has been my experience in working with each person?  Then, I added up all the pieces and found only one variable that wasn’t compatible with all others.  That one variable didn’t add up!”  Dawn expressed with a clear sense of relief reverberating from her tone.

Her relief in finding a comforting solution is something each one of us can related to.  We’ve all faced complex personal relationship issues in life similar to the one Dawn has been going through.  

“It’s amazing how confusing life can become when we’re interfacing with others who aren’t acting with honor.  I like to operate on a basis of trust.  That approach has worked for me very well, until it didn’t!  Now I have one more tool that allows me to clear my head and see if things are adding up!”

“I have thought and thought about my own actions!”  Dawn Howe said while relating the pieces of a long drawn out story of consternation.  “I also found that I could add my own actions to the actions of others, based on historical evidence, to give myself a mathematical proof for mental and emotional clarity!”

What that means is, when you’re facing numbers that don’t add because someone, or something new flies into your life, go back to the arithmetic you learned as a child.  You remember it well.  Two plus two equals four!  

Even when others try to fly other numbers around in an effort to convince you it doesn’t.  Two plus two still equals four.

With Open Arms

“He called.  I borrowed a trailer and drove to Michigan immediately.” – Tracy Di Nardo

With Open Arms

“I’ve always thought the most important thing is to show my children consistent, unconditional love.”  Tracy explained.  “That way, they’ll come to understand you’ll really, always be there for them.”

Then, there was one day, when her only son suddenly packed his things and left their home with hardly a word.  All Tracy and the others in her family knew was that he was going to Michigan to live with some girl and her parents.  People they didn’t know.

“It caught us by surprise!  Completely!”  Tracy said.

This wasn’t only a love challenging circumstance for Tracy alone.  It deeply affected the whole family, making them all question their relationship with the young man.  It caused them to question their own actions over a lifetime of about twenty years.  But, it never caused Tracy to question her love for her son!

“It’s one thing to espouse a core principle such as unconditional love when your belief has never been contested!  Then, something challenges you.  Hits you right in your heart.  That’s when you face a ‘gut-check’ moment.  The moment you’re forced to look deep inside your heart and ask, ‘do I really believe this?’”  Tracy imparted.

Her anguished questioning didn’t last for a day or two.  It didn’t even last for a month or two.  It lasted for more than two years.  Two years of worry, guilt, introspection, and of course, great hope.  What did she do?

First, she reminded herself of her core belief every single day.  An undying belief that her love for her son was indeed unconditional.  “I had to stop all thoughts of punishing him!”  She said.  “I said to myself, this is your chance to walk your talk!  It taught me a lot about myself, my beliefs, and what true love is.”

Second, she constantly reached out to her son to reassure him of her presence.  She wanted him to know she was still there for him and she would never abandon him.  “I did this on an almost daily basis.  At first, there was hardly a response from him.  But, after a couple of years of continued, faithful effort, I think he began to believe me.  And, to believe in me.”  Tracy shared.

Finally.  She seized opportunity.  “I’ll never forget the day my son called me and said, ‘I made a mistake!’ can I come home?”  

“He called.  I borrowed a trailer and drove to Michigan immediately.”  Tracy said.

It took her two days to drive from Utah’s Wasatch Mountains to Michigan.  When she arrived at her son’s residence they embraced.  She said, “Once he was in my arms again I didn’t ever want to let him go!  But, oh yah, there was that additional driving I needed to do!”

“I’ve always thought the most important thing is to show my children consistent, unconditional love.”  Tracy explained.  “That way, they’ll come to understand you’ll really, always be there for them.  And when that moment comes.  That moment when your lifetime of talking ends and your unconditional love is wholly accepted by a loved one, as an undeniable truth; that moment provided the most powerful emotion I’ve ever experienced!”

Talking really does end with a genuine offering of open arms!

Lola's Love

Lola, who always gave love.

Lola’s Love

It all started on December 12, 2009.  For most, this date has no significance.  But, it is the date of creation; the genesis of “Lola’s Love.”  It wasn’t Lola’s wedding date.  It wasn’t even the date of her birth.

She was born not long before this date and was given as a gift of love, just a few weeks after her birth.  She was received as a gift yet always gave innumerable gifts. 

Upon receiving her, Kilee Johnson immediately gave her the loving pet-name, “Little Fluffer” almost as soon as she saw Lola’s silvery, speckled with white, curly fur covered body.  It was love at first sight for both Kilee and Lola.

Sometimes, love at first sight is a fleeting emotion.  But, Lola would not allow such a thing to occur in her world.  She seemed to instinctively know exactly how to create a special, deepening kind of love.  And, she did it in many ways.

Lola always joyously greeted everyone who came her way.  She developed her own voice to do so.  Garrison Johnson loved the way she spoke directly from her heart to her loved ones.  So, Lola quickly received another nickname of love, “RooRoo” because of her style of verbalizing a greeting.

Lola was welcoming in other ways too.  When Landon was born into the Johnson clan, Lola welcomed him, and his brother Asher, into her inner circle and became their protector immediately.  She always had an expanding kind of love that knew no limits.  That was true for every addition into her life.  She was always inclusive.

She included love no matter the specific circumstance.  When an occasion was joyous she would “roo” and dance with excitement.  When sadness struck, as it always seems to occasionally do, she would simply snuggle and caress her hurting person.  She’d do this for minutes, hours or days, as needed.  What mattered most to her was just being there!

Lola always wanted to be there, with those she loved, no matter what.  As the years began to take their toll on her small body she walked a little slower and couldn’t jump quite as high.  There were times when the pain from her arthritis would cause a weary look to shadow her face.  Yet, it didn’t stop her from continuing to give Lola Love.

Even in pain she was still excited to climb, with help, into the family car every morning and afternoon.  It isn’t that she loved to ride in the car.  She loved going with Landon and Asher to and from school.  So much so that she’d be heartbroken if she didn’t get to go.

Then, one day Lola just couldn’t muster the strength to go anywhere at all.  Age had finally caught up to her.  And, the love that was solemnized on December 12, 2009 and had kept her going strong until just last week.  Now we all miss her.  But, we’ll remember her and the things she taught us about love, Lola’s special kind of love.  

After all, she taught us how to deepen our love for others by joyously greeting everyone, loving even under difficult personal circumstances, to be there just to snuggle when needed, to have an expanding love that knows no limit and take time every day to enjoy the small things in life, like going to and from school with those you love.

If we would love as Lola did it, it would be a more glorious world indeed!

Never Doubt

“Never doubt why things happen to you.” – Greg Blackbourn

Never Doubt

“Never doubt why things happen to you. There is always a positive. ALWAYS.” Greg Blackbourn said as he recounted a recent personal experience as a way of illustrating his unwavering belief. 

His day was filled with reasons to doubt. He had a client who came late to his appointment.  As a result, Greg was late arriving at his next appointment, in the center of the city. That caused this client to reschedule, as they didn’t have enough time to complete their business by the time Greg arrived.  It was a disheartening day!  And, that was about to change.

“I was downtown and driving and saw Taco Time and was going to go through the drive thru to get some food.”  He said. “There were at least 10 cars in the drive-up lane, so instead of joining the packed line I decided to just park and go inside.” 

Once standing in the line to order, two people just cut in front of him as if he wasn't there.  At first, he was going to say something to those place-hoppers, but then just thought, “it's not that huge of a deal.”  He knew he was going to get his food soon enough.

And, he did. This was his chance to take a deep breath and receive some refreshment toward the end of a long, disappointing day.  It was this moment of anticipated relaxation when everything changed.

“There was a guy in a Utah Shirt (Utes) at the table next to me.  All of a sudden a man in a motorized wheelchair, that has some severe mental and physical disability, came in between our tables. He started to hit us both in a panic.”

Other people looked at what was happening and ignored the whole thing. They looked the other way and acted as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.  Greg continued his account.

“The Ute Fan and I both realized, at the same time, he wasn't attacking us. He was choking and couldn't breathe!”

Without a word between them in, unison, seemingly synchronized movement, both Greg and the other diner jumped up and put the breathless person into position to receive the Heimlich Maneuver, hoping it would save the choking man’s life. 

Pop! The blockage in his airway was dislodged and within seconds, the panic was over!

“He couldn't communicate well, but the words thank you came out clearly to us.”  Greg said.  “I asked if he was O.K. and he nodded.

The man’s other rescuer followed with, "I'm so sorry you had to experience that and I am glad you came to us!" 

With that, the man in the wheelchair smiled and drove away, leaving his two champions grinning at each other. Mountains of information was exchanged through that smile before Greg’s new friend said with hesitancy, "I have to leave. Can you?"

And, before he could finish Greg said "I got this and will wait until he is done eating before I leave." 

So, Greg sat there for another ten minutes, just to make sure their new chum could finish his meal safely.  

Greg could have been harboring an enduring resentment over his first client of the afternoon being late. He could have held onto anger about driving all the way from Sandy to downtown, through heavy traffic, only to have his next appointment reschedule. He could have been impatient and drove off, in anger, before making the seemingly insignificant decision to walk inside a restaurant to eat some dinner.  He could have shown hostility toward the people who cut in line ahead to him. But, had he done any of those things he wouldn't have been able to help a total stranger.

“I'm telling you this because sometimes I am guilty of letting little things get to me and letting them change the course of my day and mood too often. But, on this one, life changing day, I chose to not let little things get to me. And it impacted me for the best!  Greg reflected.

Greg always encourages everyone to become “their most genuine, best self.”  Yet, all of his coaxing cannot rival the same, more impactful message conveyed through his example. 

“We have become so busy in our world that we ignore our surroundings and are looking for instant gratification too often.”  Greg says.  “We find ways to attack other people that don't see the world the way we do. Everything is polarized when we have these blinders on. Thankfully, one Ute Fan slowed down with me on this day, so we could share the unspeakable joy of saving someone's life together.”

Greg’s finished his account with, “Find reasons to not let others take away from your happiness and be more present. It can save a life. Never doubt why things happen to you. There is always a positive. ALWAYS.”

Never doubt it.

Do the Pupper

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” – George Addair

Do the Pupper

The grass had been bathed in strong rain overnight and the walking path was glistening at the introduction of the rising sun.  Harry Pupper stepped off the trail as soon as he heard the put, put, put of a gas-powered work-cart coming up behind him.  Then, the sound of the cart suddenly stopped.  It had stalled toward the bottom of the hill “The Pupper” had already begun to climb.

The put-put driver looked up and shrugged his shoulders, as if to say, “I have no idea why this thing simply decided to stop!”  Then, he looked down and turned the ignition key.  The engine sputtered.  He turned the key again.  The engine sputtered again and then began to hum.  The driver and his companion restarted their climb up the hill, giggling a little as a result of their needless-embarrassment.  Of course, being a dog, Harry’s tongue lolled out of the side of his mouth, as if was laughing along with them.  And, as soon as the cart puttered past, he shifted his stance toward the upside of the trail and resumed his climb as well.

Just like Harry Pupper, everyone will encounter darkened, windswept days, filled with rain at one time or another in life. And, even when the rain stops, personal progress can sometimes seem to stall, for no apparent reason, when faced with the sudden appearance of an unwanted, challenging hill of resistance.  When that happens, when all of your energy and confidence are destroyed, remember these words from George Addair:

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”

Yes, the grass under your feet may have been pummeled by strong rain overnight and your path forward is still glistening-wet at the introduction of a new-day’s sun.  You may feel as if you’ve stepped off your trail, feeling so weak that it’s as if you could be run over by a small put-put, gas-powered cart coming up behind you. It will be a time when you believe all of your momentum has stopped; all stalled near the bottom of a small hill you’ve unconsciously turned into Mount Everest!

When that happens, do the Pupper!  Shrug your shoulders, as if to say, “I have no idea why my progress has come to a screeching halt!”  Then, turn your internal ignition key!  Let your engine sputter once or twice.  When it does, turn your key again.  If you will, your engine may sputter once more, but action will cause it to soon begin to hum.  That faint humming will give you the confidence to begin your climb up that seemingly insurmountable, high mountain of your own creation.  Each step forward will get easier and you’ll soon be giggling as you recognize your needless-fear!  

Yes!  Do the Pupper!  Let your tongue lolled out of the side of your mouth! Laugh at yourself for your internal doubt, because the view from the top of your now conquered hill will allow you to feel like a conquering hero! 

A couple of hill-side stalls are common to all and will never stop your ultimate success.

Growing Your Pie

“I try to put ingredients and flavors together in new combinations.”  Earl Poon

Growing Your Pie

Earl stood on a spacious wooden deck looking out over a seemingly endless forest as the sun was getting in position to dip below the Ozark Mountains.  He was casually dressed in cargo shorts, a tee-shirt and flip flops.  A surprising view, based on his buttoned-up background as a ranking supply manager in the U.S. Airforce.  Yet, his attire was not the most surprising thing to discover about him while sharing the breathtaking view.

“He’s a baker!” Is the way Robin, his wife, describes her husband.

Earl, the founder of Earl’s Uncommon Pies, is indeed a baker.  But such a commonplace, shortened description falls short of what he really does and who he is.  Magic!  That’s a better, more complete portrayal.  After all, he produces a couple of different kinds of magic.  One a pastry and the other is anthropological.  You’ve heard the saying about being able to make the world more prosperous by “growing the pie,” so more and more people can enjoy the benefits?  That’s what Earl does.  And, this is how he bakes in, what can only be described as, the remarkable.

“I try to put ingredients and flavors together in new combinations.”  He says.  “I could make the more common pies.  You know, like apple or cherry?  But, I work to discover how to combine such common ingredients in an uncommon way.”

When he finds the right combination, he knows it!  “When my taste buds start singing and dancing, I know it’s right.”  He says, as if hiding his genius behind twinkling eyes.  “When people taste my work, they often say they can’t believe they’ve never seen these ingredients used together before!”

Earl says there are times when he looks at a common ingredient and wonders why he hasn’t seen its true potential before; because he’s so familiar with it.  “Maybe it’s because I’ve viewed it in one dimension for so long that I’ve become blind to its true beauty?”  He asks, rhetorically.  “I’ve come to believe in the principle of ‘Dimension Supplementation!’”

Dimension Supplementation means seeing something not only for what it appears to be, for its obvious use.  It means asking, “If I pair this with something else, what can it become?”  Earl elucidates.  That can only happen through careful examination, often combined with trial and error.  Finding additional uses, in addition to what is obvious, is what Earl calls, “allowing the commonplace to Blossom.”  Another, less used, meaning of blossom is growth.

“What I really do is grow pie!”  Earl says.  “My recipe for ‘creating the uncommon,’ grows both the taste and varieties of a specific kind of pastry, the pie.  And, interestingly, these same principles can be applied to both makers of pies, as well as those who eat them.

Anyone can look at the elements composing their life and ask Earl’s important questions to facilitate forging a path toward combing them into the creation an uncommonly good life.  First, what are the common, abundant parts of my life?  Second, how can I combine these components together in an innovative, uniquely “me” way?  Third, if I examine these parts, of my life, can I discover distinctive combinations to make the commonplace blossom into something unexpected and greater than it was singularly?  These steps are Earl’s winning recipe for baking, growing bigger, more scrumptious pies and as well as a magical life.

Magic!  Earl, the enchanted baker, produces two kinds of magic.  You’ve heard the saying about being able to make the world more prosperous by ‘growing the pie,’ so more and more people can benefit?  That’s what Earl does.  And, this is the recipe he follows to creates such magical, remarkable pies as well as a extraordinary lives.