"Everything important is uncertain." – Eliot Peper

Ice Cream Added

The sun was long up. The gym had been open for three hours already. People who are commonly working out at earlier times were long gone. In fact, there was no one there as I walked in. The machines were quiet, unused. It felt eerie and lonely; a feeling that was not to last.

One grandmother walked in. Soon followed by three friends, all dressed in colorful outfits, that would make a chameleon struggle to morph. This color was just part of the gym’s shifted vibe. Perhaps the most notable change was that quiet was immediately banished. 

Such sound was an assault to gym rules. Their chatter was just fine. The rule breaker was the music which was not imprisoned by earbuds. Yet, it was a delightful contrast to the earlier loneliness.  It soon became entertainment.

“My mother is still living alone in her own home,” one of the dancing, bending and talking women said.

And, her astonishing mother, ninety-three-years old, is still breaking rules. 

Not surprisingly, I laughingly thought, “her rule-breaking-daughter had grown from an acorn not far from the tree!”

“I went to visit my mother the other day to check on her,” She continued, after pausing between dance moves and puffing out the words.

As soon as this visiting, dutiful daughter joined her mother in the kitchen, she was delighted to see her mother drinking a healthy smoothie. It was something she had never witnesses before. This unexpected behavior caused the daughter to marvel, because of the ear-to-ear smile spanning her mom’s face; a seeming, invitation to taste.

“This is really good!”

It was so good; the daughter asked her mother what was in it. Mom then revealed her secret to a delicious smoothie.

“Ice cream added! It makes all the difference!”

The exercising ladies chortled about ice cream added. I have to admit that I chuckled quietly to myself, after all I didn’t want these grandmother-fellow-rule-breaking, gym-mates to know of my eavesdropping! I didn’t want the entertainment to end. I loved hearing about grandmother experimentation; that its independent of age and social standing.

It reminded me of what my friend, author and entrepreneur Eliot Peper said about taking risks:

"If you know something's going to work, it's not worth working on. It requires no courage. It requires no faith. It requires no skin in the game. Whether you're a spy or a teacher or a spouse or a painter or an abuela or an astronaut or a monk or a barista or a board-game designer, the bits that matter are the bits you make matter by putting yourself on the line for them. The unknown is the foundry where you forge your chips. Everything important is uncertain. Sitting with the discomfort of that uncertainty is the hard part, the wedge that can move the world."

And, sometimes ice cream needs to be added!

Watch my latest American Dream TV Segment

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fQmn4Fhlr7ftMqEjb64VFw1eCCK-YAZx/view?usp=drive_link

“I thought I was invisible to everyone.” - Daniel Madewell

Mending Invisibility

Daniel reacted as I extended my hand and twisted around & behind some other friends in an effort to shake his hand. Our little group of friends was beginning to scatter to the wind, like evening stardust flittering through a door toward home. We had spent the evening together, sharing food and socializing. Now, it was time to end our camaraderie and retire for the night.

“Good to see you,” I said as I shook Daniel’s hand, which seemingly acted as a lever to spark his smile.

“I thought I was invisible to everyone,” my friend Daniel Madewell said, as his eyes ignited.

“I thought I was invisible,” I said to myself, while turning to leave. Mystification accompanied my leave, suddenly entering my consciousness, dominating all tracks of my thinking. And, I was instantly, contemporaneously walking in the main concourse of Grand Central Terminal, where I witnessed its myriad of destination-tracks merge into one single super-track; a spellbound train of thought, centered on individual invisibility.

Perhaps the reason Daniel’s statement captivated me so, was that we were both surrounded by a gaggle of friends in common moment. You and I have long known that a feeling of invisibility can happen to a person, even when surrounded by other people. But, the revelation that a person can be subjected to such feelings of loneliness, while socializing with and in the company of friends seems to be a defining antithesis. A contrast for which I, for one, am incapable of comprehending.

But every one of us can grasp the powerful significance of proffered invisible mending acts. Which revealed effect is a gratified smile as genuinely offered by its recipient, personified as Daniel. Such an offering is generally viewed as small and insignificant. Yet, its affect yields an effect of incomparable significance, which is only fully realized by its recipient and it can change lives instantly. This change can be produced visibly or even invisibly.

This past week was also Rich Reuling’s fiftieth wedding anniversary as well as his birthday. And, while it was not my birthday or anniversary, it was a very busy day. It was a day so busy that I almost didn’t assume a moment to telephone Rich, to offer him heartfelt birthday and anniversary well-wishes. Yet, Daniel’s smile was still etched in my heart, so I took a moment and called Rich.

This call was not a video call, yet I could hear and feel Rich’s beaming smile as he said, “Thanks so much for thinking of me!” Then he went on to excitedly tell me of his plans to take a special road trip during the coming week with his bride of five decades. I didn’t see him on the call, but I can promise you, even though we were more than eighteen-hundred-miles apart, Rich did not feel invisible!

How will you mend someone’s invisibility today?

Watch my latest American Dream TV Segment

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fQmn4Fhlr7ftMqEjb64VFw1eCCK-YAZx/view?usp=drive_link

 

“Some people say you shouldn’t work with family, but we all have different talents and strengths.” – Paola Montes

A Full Cup

“My father wanted his family to have more economic opportunity,” Paola explained in the entryway of her family’s bistro.

We were talking in the entryway of the third restaurant they’ve created together.

“When I graduated from college, I thought I wanted to make my own way,” Paola said, as a slight blush bloomed across her face. “But, I loved working with my family. I grew up in the restaurant business. And, I knew I had more to offer to my family and our community.”

From the moment I walked into Azul it was clear that Paola, Mario (her husband), and the entire staff take pride in their work and that they enjoy showcasing their creation to others.

“Our cup is full,” Paola almost whispered as she began thinking back of the beginning of their venture.

Her father, an engineer by trade, decided to accept a family invitation to come to learn about the restaurant business from another relative in Alabama. He and his wife had two young sons at the time, so it was a real risk starting over, on the very bottom rung. He washed dishes, bused tables and learned every aspect of the business. When he thought he knew the business well enough and could really make a go of it, he set off to find his own, right location.

That location was in a different state in a small town where there wasn’t one Mexican restaurant. He wanted to get the best shot he could get at survival, so they moved again. And, from the first day of the venture, each member of the growing family worked to make it a success.

“That’s when I was born,” Paola said. “We all work hard. It’s an important component of our success.”

And, yes, they do work hard. But they don’t work just for work’s sake. When Paola says their “cup is full,” it’s because she means their work reflects who they are now and where they came from. They focus on contributing every single detail of their history and talent.

“My father designs every part of the interiors of our businesses. He personally travels to select the people who will hand craft the chairs, tables and décor. He only chooses people who can bring his vision into reality.” Paola pointed out, while walking through the entire top floor of their bistro, pointing out each piece, including the art on the walls, the sparkling lights, and the way their food is delivered to customers.

“Some people say you shouldn’t work with family, but we all have different talents and strengths.,” Paola Montes said with warmth radiating from her eyes. “It was time for our father to retire a couple of years ago, and he did, but he just can’t stay away all of the time. He still comes in on a regular basis, just not as much, because he belongs here. He wants to contribute. Its who he is. He’s just part of this, part of us and he always will be.”

“My father wanted his family to have more economic opportunity,” Paola explained in the entryway of her family’s bistro. But, he accomplished more than just that. He created a way for everyone in our family to fill their own cup. A cup filled with our individual contributions, our history and the desire to showcase our history, who we are and what we yearn to give to each other and to others.

Watch as I host American Dream TV, now streaming on Apple TV and Roku.

“Where ever you go, blessings will follow.” - Martin Sensmeier

Unanticipated

“You know my father, don’t you?”

Randy Salt was speaking of his father, Richard.

“He died this year. He was 96 years old,” Randy continued.

Richard was an avid sportsman. He played on his school’s football, basketball, track and field teams in his youth. He also was a prize amateur boxer and had a chance to turn professional, but decided instead to focus on his growing family. His commitment to those he loved most was something he learned from his own father and mother.

“My grandfather worked for the railroad,” Randy continued. “When he was in his mid-thirties he was crushed by a train coupling. No one expected him to live.”

He did live. He endured multiple surgeries and relied on his wife to care for him for the rest of his life.

“My grandmother spent her entire life caring for my grandfather. And, there was never any question whether she would do it or not.”

When it became clear that he would live, no one thought he would ever be able to walk again. But, he did! One step at a time. He started by simply standing. Then he graduated to a walker. Finally, he was able to walk with the aid of a cane after many years of struggle.

“I never really understood the depth of my grandmother’s commitment to my beloved grandfather, until my brother Bob and I made the decision to care for our own father during his last years,” Randy explained.

Because the two men had watched the care given by their grandmother, they were able to see how she grew and changed over many years. But, there is nothing like personal experience.

“I never would have guessed what growth would come to me from caring for my father,” Randy said with emotion as soft as a light breeze kissing the top of a seemingly eternal, giant sequoia tree.

The two men became so close that when the time came where Richard could no longer speak to Randy through voice, they could still fully communicate.

“We would sit together,” Randy said quietly. “I could feel what he was feeling, what he wanted and needed. I couldn’t hear his audible voice, but we knew each other in a way I never could have imagined possible.”

Martin Sensmeier, an actor, when playing a uniquely meaningful role, once said, “Where ever you go, blessings will follow.”

Blessings will always follow difficulties. Every time. But, the blessings are almost always unanticipated. They’re unanticipated because they only show up during the experience. They come from the unwanted, something not sought.

“You know my father, don’t you?” Randy had asked.

Randy Salt was speaking of his father, Richard. But, he was really telling you and me of the unanticipated. Because, we all, every one of us, will enjoy unanticipated blessings as the result of unwanted experience.

Watch as I host American Dream TV which will begin streaming on Apple TV and Roku in August 2023

It all starts with a smile and a wave. – Krista Cupp

Unknowns

It was a vast room. In this room there were faces I recognized and others I did not. I did know the four main speakers in the meeting. I thought.

My eyes naturally began darting between all the people sitting around me; glancing at those I did not know as well as those I believed I knew. There were a lot of people in the room and I began to feel overwhelmed by all the needed relationship building around me. Then, my friend Krista Cupp’s words, from a meeting the day before, sparked in my mind.

“It all starts with a smile and a wave,” she said.

Then the first speaker began her short presentation. She, and the other three presenters, were set to describe their experience and knowledge of one man. Someone, all attending shared a relationship with. I thought I knew him quite well. That was about to change.

Krista’s words sparked in my mind again.

“As one of our local farmers said last week, a simple wave can go a long way! I think our community is known for its friendliness. I think we can lead the way by smiling and waving in a car, on a bike, walking...you name it.”

The second speaker began her presentation. I activated my listening more intently because I was beginning to make a connection between Krista’s counsel and what was becoming the dilemma before me. She told me more and more about the person we held in common. And, the more she talked, the more I realized my relationship our friend in the front of the room was not what I thought it was. I waited to learn more.

The third and fourth speakers continued to teach me more of what I didn’t know. They spoke of the small details of their personal relationship. Details I knew nothing about. Things I didn’t hold in common with them. Those things were revealed as glaring unknowns.

By the end of the meeting, my unknowns dwarfed my knowns.

“It all starts with a smile and a wave,” Krista said.

And now, I realized that’s where my relationship with our friend at the front of the room had started. And ended.

My eyes were darting between the people in the room again. They were glancing between the people I didn’t know and the ones I only thought I knew.

“It all starts with a smile,” I said to myself.

So, I began to smile at everyone in the room, including the man I once thought I knew so well.

Offering a smile was a start. A foray into the unknown. Perhaps it is necessary to look at one’s own cup before beginning or building any relationship? After all, it is impossible to add more to an already full cup. So, maybe it’s important to let go of what we think we know about someone, so we can discover who and what is currently unknown to us.

That smile and a friendly wave are the beginning of the important process and adventure of discovering, the all-important unknowns in others. The things, upon which, inspiring, satisfying and deep relationship are founded.

Bravery of Curtis Sutton

When Life Pushes

I remember the first time I saw Curtis Sutton. It was long ago, but the image has stuck with me for more than forty years. We were both young then. Yet, he wasn’t just young, he was also brave.

He started a family at a young age, when others his age were more likely to be labeled and identified as overly selfish, focusing on only themselves. He knew it would be the beginning of something harder than he’d ever faced before. Still, he proceeded to follow his heart and focus on love. That love stayed at the very center of everything he did in life. It set the stage for all that would follow.

Not many years after starting his family he was involved in a horrible traffic accident. The effect of that accident left him in constant, unrelenting pain. Yet, he persisted in his unyielding efforts to provide for and preserve his family against all odds.

I don’t think he was a believer in the odds. Because when others would have given up he continued forward. Even when things became harder and much was going wrong, I watched as he recommitted to his soul-mate Janae so they could continue their journey together for the remainder of his life. That same commitment to another opened the door for him to follow his heart again.

It was at, or near that moment when he made the decision to broaden the size and capacity of his heart. His heart was already so big in giving, that I wouldn’t have thought increasing its size would be possible. He showed that it was.

He worked with people who had lost everything as a result of addiction and worked tirelessly to give them counsel and hope, when almost everyone else in the world had given up on them. He would never give up in his own life and not in the lives of the others he served.

Tom Ferry, a personal coach, recently commented, “There are two moments in our lives that transform our potential. The first is when we’re very young and we take on either a fixed or a growth mindset. The second is when life pushes us to choose for ourselves.”

Then Tom asked, “Has that moment already happened to you?”

Curtis answered that question over and over again, after multiple, possibly crushing life events. His answer was, I choose who I want to be and what I want to do with my life. I choose love and caring. And, he always did, even when bone cancer replaced all of the bones in his body with its counterfeiting, excruciating theft of his life.

I remember the first time I saw Curtis Sutton living and choosing for himself. It was long ago, but the image has stuck with me for more than forty years. We were both young then. Yet, he was young as well as the brave one. And, now? Just yesterday, he chose who he was going to be, as the last of his life was being stolen.

There are two moments in our lives that transform our potential. Curtis always chose the path of love. He chose who he was going to be, when offered joy and when offered extreme pain. 

He was brave and good, when life pushed.

“Sometimes you have to look for the cake in the boot.” -  Lisa Winters

Cake in the Boot

Lisa Winters understands what it’s like to go through difficult times. That much was evident. The emotion was palpable as she stood, speaking in front of a crowd, of mostly strangers.

“My father suffered from Alzheimer’s Disease for several years,” she said.

Then she went on to communicate more about her experience and why she was spending time as a volunteer to help others who are going through the same experience.

“Not only did my father have Alzheimer’s Disease,” she continued. “He also suffered from diabetes.”

Lisa’s daughter knew how much her grandpa loved sweets and she thought of him as she was cutting her wedding cake on the day of her marriage. One of the most important people in her life wasn’t there at her wedding, sharing one of the most important events in her life. Her beloved grandfather wasn’t there to share celebratory cake with her.

So, she carefully cut a couple of pieces, the ones right in the center, of her cake. Then, she put them on a small plate, covered the plate in a wedding napkin, and set them aside. She had a plan to share this joyous moment with her grandpa.

Right after returning home from her honeymoon she put the next phase of her plan into action. She removed the cake from her refrigerator and drove the short distance to her grandpa’s home, a memory care facility.

“Grandpa,” she said. “I snuck these two pieces of my wedding cake in here for you. Your nurses won’t want you to have it, so you’ll have to hide it from them. Otherwise, they’ll take the cake from you.”

She held his hand as he ate one of the pieces of cake. She embraced him as she left.

“Don’t forget grandpa. Don’t let them find your cake, or they’ll take if from you,” She said with her brightest see-you-later smile.

The next few months were very difficult for the entire family. Grandpa took a turn for the worst, not long after the cake sharing, and passed away a short two or three months later.

Upon grandpa’s death, Nancy and other members of their family all came together in his room to pack their loved one’s things.

“It was a hard thing for us to do,” Lisa said. 

As the packing day went along, Lisa’s daughter picked up one of her grandpa’s boots. She looked inside and saw something crammed in the bottom.

“There is something in here,” she said. 

She reached inside carefully, not knowing what she might encounter, touching something crusty, wrapped in a wedding napkin. Her eyes filled with tears as she recognized the napkin from her own wedding!

“It’s the piece of wedding cake I asked grandpa to hide!”

Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, “A great and eternal beauty passes through the whole world, and it is distributed fairly over that which is small and that which is large; for in such important and essential matters, no injustice is to be found on earth.”

Lisa Winters said, in speaking of this experience, “You can always find things to make you smile, even during the most difficult of times.”

Lisa understands what it’s like to go through difficult times. That much was evident. The emotion was palpable as she stood, speaking in front of a crowd, of mostly strangers.

Then she said, “Sometimes you just have to look for the cake in the boot!”

Watch as I host American Dream TV which will begin streaming on Apple TV and Roku in August 2023

“Today is worth two tomorrows.” – Benjamin Franklin

Two Tomorrows

“I had a senior moment,” Diane said as she carefully lifted her deeply bruised right arm. “Luckily, the back of my shower is slanted. It eased my fall a little bit.  Still, I just really hurt.”

“Today is worth two tomorrows,” Benjamin Franklin once said. And, as I sat visiting with Diane Miller, I could hear Mr. Franklin’s imagined voice utter these very words. Yet, I was unable to imagine what Diane was about to teach as a perfect follow-on to his words.

“Do you remember when we were standing on the road in front of my land last year?” Diane asked with a faraway look in her eyes.

She and her sister own a well-wooded piece of land a few miles from where we were now sitting. On a bright day last year, we were standing just in front of it as she took the time to verbally paint a detailed description of the reasons she loved it.

“I love this land because it rises gently away from the road. It makes it so when a person looks out and away to the west, she has a beautiful view of the surrounding farms that are carved out from the subtropical forest. I treasure the trees that have taken hundreds of years to grow here. Did you know that there are wild blackberries sprinkled all through, below the trees? It’s a place of refuge for deer and birds, and especially for me.”

If we weren’t standing in front of that land, I could have vividly imagined the entire scene she had painted. But, perhaps most importantly, I could feel the love she cradled in her breast for the place.

“Do you know what I remember most about that day we were standing there?” She asked.

There was no need to answer, because I knew she was going to tell me.

“I remember the empathy you showed me,” she said. “Empathy makes a larger impact than most people understand. And, it goes a long way to make a lasting impression; to ease pain.”

As she finished speaking, while looking earnestly toward me, I watched as she trembled and grimaced in pain. So much so that she immediately let out a little laugh as the pain subsided slightly.

“At least I can still laugh, because the pain reminds me of my latest ‘senior moment.’” She explained while moving to stand. “I need to go home now.”

She stood. Then she began to walk slowly toward the door behind her.  She thought of opening the door with an associated gesture, but the pain in her dominant arm reminded her of what she wasn’t up to doing at the moment.

So, I reached for the door and opened it to ease her way.

“I’d shake your hand,” she smiled. “But you understand why I can’t.”

She turned her head to lead her body down the gentle ramp toward the sidewalk beside Main Street.

“Today is worth two tomorrows,” Benjamin Franklin said to me again.

I would have never known that today’s small gesture of empathy would be able to continue to brighten the day of a friend, with accumulated pain, more than one year later. Who would have known that empathy, once shown, would have such power over tomorrow?

Watch my show on American Dream TV, premiering in August 2023 on Apple TV and Roku.

“It took us a while to get everyone in the restaurant to understand the concept of layering flavor, but now that they do, the results are amazing.” - Chef Tyler Rogers

Adding the Unusual

I met Chef Tyler Rogers many years after his humble start, in his new restaurant, “Hail Fellow Well Met!”. I wanted to meet him, learn from him personally, because I’d heard, from a mutual acquaintance, that he was using edible flowers as an ingredient and garnish for almost all of his dishes. It seemed to me as if, perhaps, he had discovered something important about the value of adding the “unusual” to food and to life. After all, his rise in the culinary world could also be described as uncommon since he came from a very humble beginning.

Chef Tyler was raised, in small town America, off Burnt Bridge Road on the outskirts of Magnolia, Arkansas.  He got his first cooking job as a simple fry cook at a local place called Hudgies. Once he’d confirmed his love for the culinary arts, he left his small, home town. That was in 2008. Then he began to work his way through many well-known restaurants in Little Rock, eventually working under Joel Antunes at the Capital Hotel. 

From there, Chef Tyler worked under Thomas Keller at The French Laundry (Three Michelin Stars), voted the best restaurant in the world twice, in Yountville, California. Following his stint in California, he worked under Grant Achatz at Alinea (Three Michelin Stars), as well as Sous Chef under Iliana Regan at Elizabeth (One Michelin Star) in Chicago, Ill. Then, he decided it was time to come home to Arkansas.

Today, Chef Tyler is Culinary Director for Onyx Coffee in Rogers and Executive Chef for Hail Fellow Well Met! in Johnson, Arkansas. And, both have turned out to be an opportunity for him to demonstrate and express his commitment and mastery of adding the unusual as a way to layer flavor.

“It took us a while to get everyone in the restaurant to understand the concept of layering flavor in an unusual way, but now that they do, the results are amazing,” Tyler explained before he took the time to teach me his way of doing so.

“I learned early on that I needed to give diners a point of reference,” he said. “So, I learned how to take a favorite classic and give it a spin. For example, my favorite dish, ever, is biscuits and gravy. Now I make my own version.  Its filled with ingredients others don’t think of adding, but people are willing to try it because they recognize biscuits and gravy as one of their comfort-favorites.”

The process of using classic comfort foods as a foundation caused Chef Tyler to search for combinations of high-quality ingredients that would be fit well together and create explosive flavor.

“It turns out that a guy I know from here is now in New York,” he said. “He met a farmer in South America who was growing a rare type of pork that has marbling similar wagyu beef. Now he grows that type of pork in the State of New York and in an interesting twist he ships it back home, here, for me to use. It has amazing flavor and I love it.”

Then, he brought out a plate, filled with one giant biscuit. It was biscuits and gravy, Chef Tyler’s way, like I’d never seen before. Most importantly, aside from its presentation, it was filled with layered flavors I’d never experienced. Some flavors were from ingredients I would have never chosen on my own. And, when I took my first bite I immediately lost my eyes into the back to my head. It was heavenly!

It took me a while to understand Chef Tyler’s concept of using the unusual to layer flavor. But it all came together for me with a couple of bites. So, I understand now! The results are amazing and I’m looking to expand on what he taught me.

I’m looking at my own classic lifestyle. The life I’m comfortable with. And, I’m thinking of what special ingredients I can add, to change my life from simply comfortable, into something that will flower. Something magical. Unusual.

Biscuits and gravy, anyone?

If you’d like to know more about Mount Olive Farms and Hail Fellow Well Met restaurant, watch as I host this episode on American Dream TV which will be streaming on Apple TV and Roku in August 2023

“Every piece of our greenhouse is sourced from repurposed materials. It doesn’t look pretty, but it works well.” – Kevin Crow

Blooming Future

“Every piece of our greenhouse is sourced from repurposed materials. It doesn’t look pretty, but it works well,” Kevin said while describing how he and his wife Kayla operate Mount Olive Farms.

Kevin and Kayla were faced with some hard decisions as their family income was affected by arduous economic conditions in early 2020. Kevin, a full-time pastor, and Kayla, an in-home nurse, often spending half a day in travel time going to and from assigned clients, suddenly found themselves with, seemingly, instant income constriction.

“We decided to put all of my efforts into operating Mount Olive Farms,” Kevin explained.

They purchased their little farm, not long before the challenging economy arrived, and had formulated a dream of creating a flower business that would have stewardship at its core.

“Our philosophy is simple,” Kevin clarified. “We do everything to make sure the land will be better than it was before we started.”

They fulfill their role as stewards of the land from the ground up. One example of their creativity is their on-property worm farm. Kevin constantly feeds the worms organic material from their farming activities, that would otherwise go to waste. The worms eat and grow. Their waste creates worm castings that Kevin uses to supplement the soil. He also brews “worm tea,” from the worm enclosures, which he uses to spray his crops, giving the plants exceptional nutrition. 

“It’s all about using all of the existing pieces and resources we have, so as respond to what I sometimes refer to as the mystery of success,” Kevin said.

Other pieces they’ve added to their business include weekly flower selling at the local Farmer’s Market, holding weekly “You-Pick” sessions on their farm, selling flowers to florists, renting their farm for photo shoots, seasonally renting a yurt constructed on their property, and selling edible flowers to local restaurants.

They’ve created a multifaceted business which is allowing them to reap rewards and grow relationships.

“We invest what we make back into the business and our family,” Kevin explained. “So, we aren’t experiencing explosive growth, just sustained growth.”

And, growing they are. They’ve become a well-recognized business while keeping their values firmly in place.

“They’re sweet people,” Chef Tyler Rogers said, as he described how he uses Mount Olive Farms grown edible flowers in his food at his “Hail Fellow Well Met” restaurant. “They provide us with great food enhancing products that match our desire to provide dishes aimed at expanding the pallet of our clients, by offering menu items with a twist, which results in traditional-like dishes which are unusually flavorful.”

Chef Tyler’s creations are also a reflection of Kevin and Kayla’s family. The Crows have adopted three children all of whom are growing like the flowers on their farm. It is a traditional-like family with a twist. The kids came from varying backgrounds and are now part of an unusually flavor-filled family all working to grow their farm and build rooted bonds with each other.

Just like Kevin said, every piece of the Crow farm, and family, is sourced from and rooted in repurposed materials. And those words, perfectly describe Kevin and Kayla’s exceptional life called Mount Olive Farms.

If you’d like to know more about Mount Olive Farms and Hail Fellow Well Met restaurant, watch as I host this episode on American Dream TV which will be streaming on Apple TV and Roku in August 2023

“Caleb Chapman's Crescent Super Band is a music group directed by Caleb Chapman. It consists of 25 musicians aged 15–18.”

Maestro Movements

On a Sunday in 1909 Sonora Smart Dodd was sitting in a pew in her small church located in Spokane, Washington. She was a little perplexed as she listened to a Mother's Day sermon.  Because, she didn’t remember her Mother. Her mom died while bearing her sixth child.  

Sonora was 16 at the time and as a result of her mother’s death she was quickly introduced to rigors of parenthood because she began helping her father raise her younger brothers, including her infant brother Marshall. Still, the sermon inspired her. It reminded of her own upbringing, and turned her heart to memories of her father, William Jackson Smart, who raised her and her five siblings alone after the death of their mom.

The oration in playing out in her church caused her to wonder how many others were like her? Motherless, but blessed with a devoted and loving father who made a home and a happy childhood for his children without the help of his wife.

After church, she complemented the preacher on his sermon, and suggested that a special day should also be dedicated to fathers. She asked her pastor if they could have a special day for fathers the next Sunday, the first Sunday in June that year, because it was the day after her own father's birthday. And, after some discussion with other ministers in the area, it was agreed that the third Sunday that June would give all of the cooperating pastors the time they needed to prepare such a sermon.

The first Father's Day celebration occurred in Spokane on June 19, 1910, but the concept didn't really catch on. In fact, it was mocked by newspapers and dismissed by many men who believed the holiday's sentimental nature and gift-giving elements were just a commercial deception. So, when Sonora, the pivotal conductor and champion of Father’s Day, went off to study in Chicago in the 1920s “Father’s Day” all but disappeared. But on her return to Spokane in the 1930s, she resumed her mission of spreading the celebration of Father’s Day across the United States.

It wasn’t until 1957 when Senator Margaret Chase Smith, representing the State of Maine, took Congress to task when she accused them of overlooking fathers for 40 years while recognizing mothers. And nine years later, in 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson finally designated the third Sunday in June as Father's Day through a presidential proclamation. It took another six years, until 1972, for Father's Day to become a nationwide holiday. 

You might not remember that Father's Day started in 1909. You probably won't remember the name of the woman who made Father's Day her life's mission. And that's okay. Because what you will remember is that Father's Day came to be because one man made a deep and lasting impact on the life of his daughter. And, there are other people who have continued to keep the spirit of fatherhood alive by becoming a pivotal element the lives of children who aren’t members of their own blood lines. One such person is Caleb Chapman.

I met Caleb at a different type of celebration, yet I was immediately mesmerized by his skills of conducting young musicians. I watched as he conducted youth protégé leading them to play exquisite music. Yet, the music wasn’t the real story being played out in front of me. 

He was conducting others toward positive movement forward, during a pivotal moment in their lives. Just as any good father does in the lives of their children, allowing them to become the person they really are. I don’t know if the talented musicians who were playing in front of me, under the Caleb’s leadership, had active fathers in their lives or not. But, I knew their lives were being molded by a maestro conductor, just as Sonora Smart Dodd’s life was impacted by a strong, loving father.

I also know that everyone benefits from a strong loving father, whether such a maestro-conducting-father shares blood with those he serves or not.

Bravo!  Bravo, William Jackson Smart and Caleb Chapman and to all those who are acting as true fathers.

“I won’t be able to feel her feet anymore!” – Donna Sansbury

Dancing Into the Future

There was a pool of water held in place, behind her eyes as she tried to speak.  She was doing everything she could do to keep that water dammed up, from trickling down the gentle slope of her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” Donna choked out between halting breathes. “I don’t like to cry in front of people.”

She went on explain that she’d just put her home, of more than twenty-five years, under contract for a sale.  During all of those years, Donna and Larry Sansbury have loved their cottage which is located on a large, tree and grass filled piece of land in the high south.

“I’m filled with memories.”  She continued.  “We had our horses there and we’d ride the trails which crisscrossed our property.  We loved gathering the fresh eggs.”

She stopped abruptly.  Her voice hitched again.  What was once a trickle, soon became a torrent, rushing down her face, toward her feet.

“It’s the garden I don’t know if I can live without.”  She cried.  “I won’t be able to feel her feet anymore!”

Donna and Larry Sansbury’s adult daughter created this particular garden.  She put and left her heart and soul into that, more than simple, vegetable garden.  She surrounded it with beautifully stacked and artfully positioned stones.  So, it’s now Donna and Larry’s garden of memories; holding the precious reminiscence of their now passed beloved.  Donna’s tears were showing her understandable distress of moving away from the physical representations of her daughter.  Yet, her tears also appeared to be tracing a new, flowing path of joy, hope and love across Donna’s face, toward her carefully selected future.

This tracing of memory toward a bright future quickly tickled her mood into brightness.

“Our new place has a wonderful deck.”  She breathed. “It’s looks out to the tops of beautiful hardwood trees.  I love to watch the leaves dance on the wind.”

“That’s good,” I thought.  Because Donna had just told me that Larry wasn’t able to dance anymore.

“I stood behind Larry the other day and watched him labor to walk across the way to his shop.”  She explained.  “He just can’t do it anymore.  It’s too painful for him.  When we’re in our new place we’ll be able to sit together and watch the trees dancing, from our new perch in the midst the trees.”

The pool of water, that had been held in place, behind her eyes as she tried to speak, was gone, because her eyes were now dancing and sparkling.  Just like the tall, beautiful trees she was describing.  This, just commingled remembrance, had led her away from the worry of soon not being to feel her daughter’s feet beneath her own.

No, she won’t be able to feel her daughter’s feet on those same garden stones any longer, but she’s already recognizing the spirit of her daughter dancing in the trees. Because, Donna and Larry have discovered how to interlace their fondest, loved memories into the new branches of their future.

“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.”  - George Washington

The Greater Triumph

One of the most perceptibly put-together-people I know, a person seemingly free from inner conflict, offered a glimpse of the “Greater Triumph” during a very personal conversation.

“I just don’t know if I can keep doing this.”  He said.  “I’ve thought about it over and over again.  And, I’ve concluded, I’m going to do what I think is best for me.”

It was a moment of revealed personal torture and decision.  Decision, because his boss had delivered a veiled threat.

“I guess you can do that, but our investors expect you to come into line with their desire not to take any time off.”  His employer had warned.

You see, my friend spends much of his personal time as a mentor to teenaged boys and he was going to take some vacation time to do more.  He acts as a mentor to them, because others did so for him, when he was at this same impressionable stage of life. He has never forgotten it.  Just as I have never forgotten invaluable counsel from George Washington, one of my heroes and posthumous mentors. 

“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.”  Mr. Washington once said.

Another plain and simple complimentary truth comes from Brant Hansen, author and radio personality. Brant teaches that all people can use their own innate weakness to their advantage.” 

Wow! As he sees it, we must not shy away from our own inherent weakness because it is our most valuable teacher and is the evidence of essential interdependence. The bottom line here is that we are all weak.  And, where we are personally weak, others are strong. Embracing weakness will bring us to understand our, too often ignored interdependence, if we allow it to.

Embracing the concept of using personal weakness as a pathway toward growth opens the possibility of discovery.  The discovery of an inescapable fork in life’s road. We can choose to be entirely self-reliant, dependent on our natural gifts and abilities, without reliance on others, or we can seek to offer our strength, as well as receive strength, from others around us. 

Accepting strength from others relieves those, who choose the principle of interdependence, from solely bearing often debilitating natural consequences; the often times heavy burden of fully isolating-self-reliance and loneliness. In short, we all need to rely on others who also have our best interests at heart.  And in fact, there will surely be times when all of us will need to lean on the goodness of others during good, as well as bad, times.

Choosing to become a selfless attendant to others is the first key to winning the hardest conflict we will ever face. Here are additional steps to start down this crucial path to victory over self.

Second, we must recognize the flawed basis of remaining fixed in self-sufficiency.  Admitting that we have never been really been operating under our own power is essential in allowing weakness to become our teacher.  If we fail, or are unwilling to do so, we let our own individual pride stand in the way.

Third, we need to make it a habit and priority to offer our gifts to others. As we do, we will be often tempted to do things on own, relying on our own wisdom and power. In such times we must give both big and sometimes, seemingly small offerings to others. Especially as we witness those around us walking through painful, mundane, and often common circumstances in their lives. 

Lastly, we must recognize that relying solely on our own wisdom and judgment is a path to nowhere. A path not allowing the greater triumph described by George Washington.  He knew that the battle to overcome self is the greatest combat one will ever encounter.  That’s why he kept a list, rules of civility, essential virtues, in the forefront of his mind throughout his life.  He made the decision to continually remind himself of that choice, just like my perceptibly put-together friend, who made the same decision to follow his own rules of civility when facing the greater conflict.

There will always be times when each of us is forced to choose what path we’ll take. Will you and I truly face the harder conflict, so we can achieve the greater triumph described by Mr. Washington? 

In the end, each must make the decision on their own.  Yet, we can be there to help each other seize triumph.

“Progress recognized by Brandon Trujillo”

Reminiscing

Perhaps it’s because Brandon spends his days looking for progress in others?  Perhaps it’s because he is looking at someone else and not at himself?  Whatever the reason I’m sure of one thing.  Brandon Trujillo understands the power of reminiscing.

Most of us tend to think of reminiscing as nothing more than the process of immersing ourselves in the hot tub of the past.  When we indulge, we feel warmth flow around our entirety through a happy memory; usually from some event or time in our past.  It’s always waiting for our return.  It welcomes us.  It allures us. Some would say, there are those that accept its welcome too often.

Such dwelling can be called, “living in the past.”  But, none of us have to accept that label in its entirety.  Brandon doesn’t.

Brandon sees and uses reminiscing as a tool.

“It’s a tool anyone can use to their benefit.”  Brandon says. “Sometimes I see myself playing the role of a window for others.  I open a way to remind them of how far they’ve come; progress they’ve made, because they’ve forgotten.”

He does this so many times each day, he’s developed four methods of taping into the power of reminiscing as a tool.

“They’re simple ways to encourage and inspire.  They can help anyone see hope, add to their strength and feel happier.

First.  Remember a time when you were successful in the past.  Make sure to come back to it in detail.  Allow yourself to be in that former time and place.  Make sure you recognize and see yourself as being successful before.  The next step is to remember more than one time.  Doing so will show you that success is common to you.  You’ve done it before.

Second.  Let your reminiscence show you that you’ve overcome hard things, or circumstances in the past.  “I’ve found this to be extremely helpful when I have a client stuck in thinking that their life can’t get better.”  Brandon says.

Third. Combine the effects of your memories to confirm that you’re worthy of success.  Brandon says that almost all people, he knows, tend to begin to think of themselves as unworthy, simply because they can’t see beyond their current circumstance.  They forget that neither time, nor circumstance are static.  They are both ever changing. 

“Time and circumstance are like a river.  Every once in a while, we all need a little push from a hot-tub-like-water-jet to propel us off an obstacle and back into the flow, so we can move forward again.

Finally. Remember the outside view. The power of a friend.  That strength can come from an outsider.  Having a friend point out your progress is key to hope and encouragement.  “Too often, it is the case that we over look our own progress!”  Brandon points out.

Perhaps it’s because Brandon spends his days looking for progress in others?  Perhaps it’s because he is looking at someone else and not at himself?  Whatever the reason, I’m sure of one thing.  Brandon Trujillo understands the power of reminiscing and he’s found a way to allow you and me to begin to use reminiscing as a handy tool in our lives.

Most of us tend to think of reminiscing as nothing more than the process of immersing ourselves in the hot tub of the past.  When we indulge, we feel warmth flow around our entirety through a happy memory; usually from some event or time in our past.  It’s always waiting for our return.  It welcomes us.  It allures us. Some would say, there are those that accept its welcome too often.

Brandon thinks anyone can welcome reminiscing into their life as a tool.

“Use it to encourage yourself.  Use it to offer hope to others.  Just begin to use it now. Use it for positive results and more happiness!”  Brandon suggests.

“My wife pulled me aside and said, ‘It feels as if we’re just living in the same house.’”

– Gary Yarno

Jumping Off Point

“I was doing what I thought I should be doing and didn’t see a problem.” Gary Yarno confided.

At the time, he was working up to one-hundred hours per week, as a fire fighter.  His department seemed to be in perpetual mandatory overtime.  They were required, by a municipality ordinance, to keep each twenty-four-hour-shift staffed, but they just couldn’t find enough people to hire in order to relieve the current battalion. He felt lucky to have a supportive spouse who was taking care of their home and children.  From his point of view, his personal life was in great shape.

It was hard for him to be working such long hours.  It meant he couldn’t attend activities to support his children.  But his wife was there and the kids seemed to be happy.  So, he thought all was well.  That all changed when he came home one day, for a rare evening off, and his wife seized a chance to speak with him privately.

“My wife pulled me aside and said, ‘It feels as if we’re just living in the same house. It doesn’t even feel as if we’re married anymore.  Something needs to change.’”  Gary reminisced with a smile.

He was surprised because he was doing what he thought he should be doing; providing the money they needed.  Money to make their house payment, provide food & clothing, and everything else that comes with raising children.

“From my perspective, as a man, I was doing a great job!”  He said.  “Luckily, I could see the sincerity and love in my wife’s eyes as she spoke with me in earnest.  She wasn’t attacking me.  I knew she was able to see something I couldn’t see.”

So, they talked together for hours and came to the realization that they could make a change if they wanted to.  Gary was in position to retire from his current work as a fire fighter, because he’d put in the years to do so. He had just become of age as well; at a young fifty years.  The door was open for them to construct change.

Their realization of an open door changed everything.  And, the entire family sat down together to study a huge map, while dreaming of possibilities.

“Where do you think we should go for a visit?”  Gary asked each of them.

Then, they made a plan to travel across the United States together, seeking a community they could all love. Their creation of a new life, the one they had all envisioned together, had begun, like a leap off a high-dive.

“We traveled to the four or five areas we thought would be a good fit for us.  Of all those places, there was one we fell in love with! So, we sold our house, packed up and moved there. I didn’t even have a job!  It was a risk for each one of us.  And, we discovered that there are some risks worth taking.”

The Yarnos been living their created dream for just over four years now.

“I never thought about becoming a Fire Marshal when I was a fire fighter, in our old community.  But, here I am!  Everything seemed to magically fall together for us and we discovered that our envisioned future turned out to be a jumping off point.  A leap into something unimaginable.  Our real life is much better than what we had imagined!”

“It all started when my wife pulled me aside and said, ‘It feels as if we’re just living in the same house.’ That was the beginning.  The jumping off point. A discovery that what we had never imagined, could be possible.”

“You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them” – Shonda Rhimes

Crossing Imaginary Lines

“Are you available to have dinner with me tonight?”  A recognizable voice asked over the telephone, and pronounced through the speakers of the car I was driving.

“Sure.”  I said.  “Where would you like to meet?”

“Where are you now?”  He asked in response.

“I’m driving to Midvale right now.  I have a couple of things to do in my office.  Then, I’ll be available.”

“OK.  How about meeting at 5:30?”

We settled on a location.  I finished my business.  I drove the few minutes to the restaurant.  

Humm, perhaps those last three sentences are drawn within assumed lines.

I mean, many times people tend to create a type of imaginary line between business and things of a “more” personal nature.  And, at this moment I thought I was traveling toward a business meeting.  I couldn’t have been more wrong, as I was about to find out shortly after arrival.

I arrived at the restaurant first and got a table.  It was a table near a bank of windows which shed a warm light.  And, it was also isolated from other customers.  This selection wasn’t intentional, but it turned out to be ideal.  It also made it easy for my companion to see me easily as soon as he walked through the door.

As soon as he came through the door and sat down I could see something was bothering him.  He had a crease of worry across his brow.  It was very noticeable and when he sat with a harrumph his discomfort was magnified.  As soon as he was seated he began to talk of business, but it was just a pretense.  What he really needed was a friend.  

“There is that imaginary line again!”  I thought to myself.  My business associate was struggling to cross that line.  His apprehension to cross that line palpable, so I decided to help.

“Tell me what’s weighing on you.”  I requested. “You know, you don’t have to carry this burden alone.”

I looked at him intently, just to make sure he knew I really meant it.  Then, in about one second, I saw a sign that he had accepted my invitation.  A tear began to slip gently from his left eye; then from his right eye as well.  He began to talk, and cry. We had both crossed a line.

I’d never seen this friend, of more than twenty years, shed tears.  Perhaps it was because we had wasted all that time drawing lines that needn’t be drawn.  Whatever those lines were, they were now, gratefully, erased.  Some other things we also erased.

My friend was no longer shouldering his fears alone.  Moving past imaginary lines allowed us to find understanding and comfort through shared experience.  It was a time of encouragement and confirmation.

He now knew he was not alone and that someone else understood what he was going through.  We were, for the first time, living our lives together.  It was a deepening, enriching experience for both of us.  All because we were brave enough to cross imaginary lines.

Shonda Rhimes once said, “You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them”

Will you and I be brave enough to cross imaginary lines, so we can discover greater joy and comfort in our relationships and community?

"It's easy to feel between goals, like you are never arriving." – Brandon Sanderson

Brandon’s Small Ways

"My job in part is to look to the future." After all, Brandon Sanderson is the author of more than 70 fantasy novels.  That’s incredible success.  And, it is easy to look at him and think he’s always enjoyed this same success.  But that isn’t the case.

My friends Scott and Allison Salmon talked about this phenomenon with me just last night.  “It’s easy for our daughter, just out of college, to think that we’ve always enjoyed the financial success of the last ten years.”  Scott said.  “We have to remind her of our journey to get here.  We also tell her that our journey continues every day.”

When Brandon speaks of his journey in and after college he gets emotional.  I laughed when he spoke of his journey in college, switching to creative writing after not doing well in chemistry.  That’s because I had a similar journey while taking the inorganic chemistry series in college.  I really struggled in these courses and had to seek lots of tutoring just to make it through.  And, while I completed the course series, I walked away with the realization that while I passed, I still didn’t understand the mathematic and scientific underpinnings.  But I also noticed something much more important.

It was personally revealing when I recognized that the students crushing me, on the grading curve, in chemistry were being crushed by my test scores in history and other humanities courses.  That was one small step Brandon and I share.  And, this prepared Brandon and me to struggle similarly when facing our shared next steps.

“I struggled with knowing what would come next, after graduating.” He shared. Brandon also said he struggled with always thinking too many steps ahead. That’s a struggle many share. Many people fall into the trap of thinking once they've graduated or they’ve gotten their dreamed of job life will be perfect.  Yet, we all have to create our lives one small step at a time through natural progression.

"It's easy to feel between goals, like you are never arriving," Brandon says. "Do something small to make it better."

Here is the additional practical advice Brandon shared.

First, sometimes we don't have any idea when we’ll arrive at our envisioned destination. So, look and improve your life in some small way and when what you tried works, write it down.

Second, try your best to make and keep connections.  In today’s world there are lots of ways to do that.  It can be as easy as sending a text to someone important to you telling them you’re thinking of them.  If you haven’t tried it, you may be surprised at the delighted responses you’ll get back when you do.

Third, write down the bits of your life that bring you joy. “The beautiful moments, yes, and the dramatic ones, but more the quirky, unexpected turns that make this current chapter of the life you are living right now worth rereading," Brandon councils. “Be active in noticing the wonderful moments, not just the broken ones. Because joy, like people, is magnified when it is noticed."

Fourth, balance work and life by connecting with others.  I can remember when social networking was talking, while sitting around a fire.  There are many ways to nurture your personal connections in person.  If you’ll make such connections regular and important you’ll avoid burning out and forgetting what brings you joy.

Fifth, maintain a good support structure by not allowing your friends from school and past jobs to forget you.  My friend Nate Nead left for a weekend with the buddies he grew up with recently.  He said, “We do this kind of activity every year, even though we all live in different states now.  It keeps our connection strong.” To enjoy your journey through life to its fullest we all need to be on that journey with other people.

Finally, be comfortable in who you are while still striving to become better.  When speaking of this last small step Brandon said, “Enjoying the journey doesn't mean you have to accept the current state of things.”

Brandon’s job, in part, is to look toward and write about a created future. After all, Brandon Sanderson is the author of more than 70 fantasy novels.  Perhaps you and I can be the authors of our own dreamed of success by adhering to Brandon’s Small Ways.

“When I look in the mirror I see a miracle.” – Chad Sartell

Miracle in the Mirror

“I was in a coma for about a month and a half.”  Chad Sartell said with firm determination.

When Chad awakened from that coma he ripped the tubes attached to his arms and other places in his stitched-back-together body.  Then, as soon as his feet hit the hospital room floor he was in another crash.  He lay there, on the cold floor, until attending nurses could rush to his aid.

“You’re in the hospital.”  One of the nurses explained.  “You were in a motorcycle crash and have been in a coma.”

“I don’t ride a motorcycle!”  Chad agitatedly shot back.

The medical team lifted him back into bed and connected all of the life saving devices back into his body.  They worked to calm him as best as they could.  He was healing, but it had taken an eighteen-hour surgery to get him reassembled.

 “The doctor removed the C3 in my spine and put an artificial piece in its place.”  Chad explained.  “That was the trickiest part of the surgery.  Most people having that type of trauma don’t live through it.”

Wondrously, he lived through the surgery and afterward he had no recollection of his accident.  

“My wife came in and had to show me photos of the accident before I would believe it!”  He laughed.

That personal and visual visit marked the real beginning of his conscious recovery.

“I was at the mental and physical ability of a four-year-old.”  He reflectively explained.  “I had to re-learn everything.”

And, now he is enjoying his home, learning and searching for the purpose of his preservation and marveling at the second chance he’s received.  We were sitting at his kitchen table when he turned his head and motioned to the hardwood flooring he had installed with his once mangled hands.  Then, his gaze wondered past the floor and freshly painted walls to the deck he had re-built and made into an oasis, where he, his wife and children often sit together.  It’s their place in the trees.  It gives them a lofty view of the wooded ravine and lake a few steps away from their home.

Yet, there are two other views which are, perhaps more inspiring.  The first is Chad’s view of his future.

“I don’t know how I lived through the accident.  And, I don’t know why I lived through it.  I just know that I was preserved for a reason.  So, I spend every day searching for my yet to be discovered purpose!”  Chad explained before he revealed the second view of his future.

“When I look in the mirror I see a miracle.” Chad said with restrained emotion. “I am the miracle in the mirror!”

Do you see a miracle in your mirror?

“It is what the tree overcame that created its ultimate beauty.” - Hector Dominguez

Hardwood

We stood at the top of her driveway.  At the end, by the street.  That way we could talk away from her house.  Because, for the moment, that’s where her pain was residing.

“Thank you for coming,” She said.  “I’m glad Mr. Gibby introduced you to me.”

“Me too.”  I responded.

“He has really helped me a lot!”  She continued.

“And, he probably didn’t charge you.”  I added.

That’s when Denise Stickle’s eyes began to fill with glistening tears.

“He has helped me so much!  He is amazing!”

Then, she went on to tell me what her plans were.  The plans she didn’t want anyone else to know, outside of her partner Bob, and now me.  Those were the plans that Darrell Gibby had helped her to formulate.  The plans that would allow her to grow around the pain and push her to new heights.  Her character was growing.

It’s always difficult for a person to see their own growth.  It is especially hard to see how the challenges they’re traversing are adding a new, unique beauty that will be a part of them.  A beauty that wouldn’t ever exist had they not encountered their personal struggles.  But, I could see this phenomenon working in Denise’s life as we stood under the boughs of the trees that surrounded and added beauty to her home and property.  The entire scene reminded me of what Hector Dominguez had said earlier in the day, while discussing the particulars of a new dining table he’s preparing to build for me. 

“What I like about the ‘rounds’ is that they display the challenges the tree went through in its life.  They show how the tree grew around those challenges.  It’s what gives the wood its character and strength.”  Hector explained.  “It is what the tree overcame that created its ultimate beauty.”

Then he went into more detail, teaching me about how the very fibers making up the tree trunk lay in specific directions to give the tree more density so it becomes stronger as it becomes wider.  Trees have to do that so they can reach new heights as they stretch to grow higher.  It’s analogous to what Denise is experiencing right now.

Denise’s face was a little damp because her tears had now pushed themselves gently along.  Yet, she stood a little higher because of the support she was receiving while stretching to new personal heights.  I also noticed a little something else about her as I peered past those tear-filled eyes.  A sense of relief radiated around the knots and twists that had added beautiful character to her core.  I could see the fiber of her new-found strength as we stood there saying our goodbyes, at the top of her driveway.

I said farewell and got into my car and began to drive away.

“Hardwood!”  I said, with no one else there to hear. “Denise is becoming more beautiful as a person because of her challenges.”

I looked in my rearview mirror.  Denise was still standing, waving goodbye; established firmly with the other hardwoods gracing her property.

“It is all I ever wanted from my mother’s estate.”

Edelweiss

The house was filled with seemingly almost everything in the world.  I say everything, because it held African Hunting Trophies, Anastasi Statuettes and a host of other collectables.  They are things collected over a lifetime and some of them are quite valuable.  Other, particular things, there are precious!

Value is in the eye of the beholder.  And, while eating Mexican food, I was about to receive a heartfelt reminiscence, a teacher of value.  A primer about value I’ll never forget.  That lesson started with an innocuous introduction. 

“I don’t really remember much of my childhood in detail.”  My friend said, before sharing a more enticing follow up.  “But, I specifically remember the time I lived with my family in Geneva as a child.”

He went on to tell me about the large market area of Geneva where he and his brother used to go exploring after school, the “International School,” and on weekends.  They went there because of the market’s interesting things to see and experience.  It also gave them a chance to spend more time with their remarkable classmates in a more casual setting.

And, my friend was right!  He could describe the market’s setting in amazing detail.  So much so that I was immediately immersed in an auditory tour that soon seemed to be projected into my head as if the entire memory was being displayed as a full-scope film documentary in my head.

“I remember the day when an old man walked up to me and handed me a small flower as a gift.”  My buddy said with a time-traveler gaze in his eyes.

He was there in Geneva, in that time, at that moment again.  I could tell.  His presence had faded on the edges like a worn parchment.  Yet, he continued verbally painting the image onto my mind.

“The man I didn’t know handed me a single flower while saying, ‘Take this home and give it to your mother.’”

The boy version of my friend did take the flower home where he presented it to his mother.  She was delighted as she accepted his single stem of Edelweiss and lovingly walked over to the bookcase behind her to carefully press the flower within the pages of a carefully selected book.  He knew then that she wanted to preserve the flower as a way of preserving his love for a lifetime.

“As my mom became worn with age I told her that there was only one thing I wanted from her estate.  It was our treasured Edelweiss!”

As his mother lay in a care facility not long ago he went into her home and searched the entire house looking for the flower representing their love.  And, when he couldn’t find it he reported his despair back to her.  But, she didn’t easily give up!

“There are some boxes there that haven’t been opened from our last move.”  She said to comfort him.  “Maybe it’s in one of those boxes.

Then, a few weeks later during another visit to his mother, she happily presented him with the book that still held their treasure safe.  She beamed as she handed it to him.  And, he recognized the book of antiquity instantly.

So, he began to gently fan through the pages of the book carefully searching for the entombed Edelweiss.  He felt the breath of the pages as they floated by.  Finally, his eyes feasted on the still pressed flower!

“It’s all I ever wanted!”  He said breathlessly. Relieved at last.  

Now that his mother is gone, this particular Edelweiss will keep his mother with him always. Both will live on within his memory, right along with once lived in days in Geneva’s magical market.

You and I get to decide what is magical in our lives; what is of personal value.  Choose love, from the heart, as your magic and your treasure.