Finding Your Life’s Work

"In order to know what your priorities are, you have to know what your work is."

• David Allen
  

Finding Your Life's Work

Have you ever thought about the difference between "your work" and a job? Lots of people don't know the difference between the two. Perhaps another way to look at this is to ask yourself, "Why do I exist?" After all, the primary purpose for anything provides the core definition of what its "work" really is. I like to think of this as the ultimate work description. Think of this as the genesis of all your goals, visions, objectives, projects, and actions. If you do, you'll soon discover that everything in your life will lead toward your "work."

That's a different thing than saying that everything in life leads to your job. They may not be the same thing. In fact, I think that for most people it's not the same thing. Your work may even have a completely different purpose than your job. Your job may have only one purpose and that purpose may only mean making money.

This week I was thinking about my work as it relates to my job in a different way. If I view my job as simply one small part of my work, does it make a difference in how I do my job? Will I make different decisions in my job if my job supports my work? Will money still be the most important driver in doing my job if I've changed my view of it as a tool in completing my life's work?

Do you know people that have lost a friendship over money? One of my favorite sayings is, "The surest way to lose a friend is to lend her money." In similar fashion, there have been times in my life when I've had to ask myself a very important question, "How much money is this friendship worth to me?

No, I only don't mean that I only want to have friendships with people that provide me with money. But, there have been times when I've had to remind myself of my life's work when doing business with a friend. What will it take to make sure my friend is going to say that I've treated them right? How would I want to be treated in a similar situation? According to the contract, or my word, I only need to do this much to be able to make more money; but, what's the cost of doing only what the contract says I need to do? At the end of a transaction will my friend say, "I'd trust you with anything!"?

So, turn this on its side and think of it from a slightly different view. "The surest way to lose your purposed life is to focus it completely on money."

Have you ever known anyone who is focused only on money? Was it hard to tell what their purpose was?

On the other hand, if someone were to spend time with you would they be able to identify what your life's work is?

My friend Wade Anderson owns Tooele Valley Nursery and after spending time with him I think I have a pretty good idea about what his work in life is. Yes, you may say well, that's an easy one because his work is selling plants.

My reply to that would be no, his job is selling plants, but that's not his work! How do I know? I've watched him work with people over and over again when he's given people an exchange or a refund when he didn't need to. I've seen him give lots of advice to people, including me, without charging a consulting fee. He has a clear approach to his business and as a result, he has a clear approach to his life's work; helping people create beauty in their life by providing counsel and gardening materials (my definition). I think that's a lot different than just selling plants!

If you sell plants, airplanes, shoes, cars, real estate or do anything else for money, ask yourself, "How does this fit into the big picture of my life?" What do I like to do with my time when I have nothing else telling me what to do? What am I doing when I completely lose track of time? If money wasn't a concern, what would I do with my life?

If you can answer these questions then you can begin to create your life rather than simply react to what life's throwing your way. I want you to be able to be like my friend Ron Green when he said to me, "My life turned out exactly the way I wanted it to."

Be an observer this week. Notice what you do and why you do it. Think about your past and notice what you've liked to do and why. Take the time to determine what your life's work is and then go and make it happen!

When You Have a Good Heart

“When you have a good heart it comes back just when you need it.”
- Judith Rasoletti

When You Have a Good Heart

My friend Steve Farley spent the morning working in his yard. He has a very large yard and it’s a lot of work. Just the fence maintenance alone is enough to send shivers down my spine. I say that because I know he has to have a lot of fence to fix because he has goats.

Goats eat just about everything and they also seem to climb up just about anything. I’ve seen them seemingly walk straight up a fence without breaking a sweat! They just get in to a lot of trouble. Steve doesn’t mind though I guess, because he has quite a few goats.

He also keeps a few hives of bees. He was telling me once that “after a while you get used to being stung.” Sorry Steve, I don’t think I would ever get used to it!

I have gotten used to the sweet taste of the exceptional honey he harvests from his beehives. Whenever he’s kind enough to share some with us my whole family gets a greedy look in their eyes the minute it hits the inside of our house. I love the way my girls act calm and proper as he’s giving it to us and then change instantly as soon as they know it’s safe to devour it!

Lots of things change instantly in a person’s life and Steve is no exception. After working in his yard for the morning he still had the energy to work out! He works out like a demon on steroids so he’s in good shape. He’s in real good shape considering the fact that he had his hips replaced a few years ago. I guess he just keeps on moving.

Well, after working out he did just that. He kept moving and went on a walk with a couple of his kids. Then his back started to hurt so he came back in the house to rest.

When the pain in his back became unbearable his wife took him to the hospital where they began to work on controlling the pain. They thought he had pinched a nerve in his back due to his activity so they were monitoring him as if he wasn’t in a life threatening situation.

His wife was there with him when he looked at her and said, “Something’s wrong.”

She stepped out of the room to find someone and when they came back in just moments later he was flat lining!

As it turns out, he did not have a pinched nerve in his back. He had a problem with his heart! And, once the doctors knew that they changed their treatment immediately.

Somehow blood had begun to pool and clot inside one of the chambers of his heart and when a clot began to be pumped out of the chamber it clogged the valve and very little blood, if anything could get through. So, the doctors dissolved the clot and things got better quickly.

To the casual observer it would appear as if Steve has a bad heart. I guess you could say that’s true. But, I know that’s not really the case. I know he has a good heart. How do I know?
I know because anyone who can love a herd of goats has to have a good heart. You know I’m just joking! I know because I watch what he does around my neighborhood. He’s known as the “person with a good heart” because of all of the kindness he shows to everyone.

Kind of interesting to know that about him now isn’t it?

Of course you know I’m talking about a different kind of heart here. But, it’s just as important as the organ we’ve been talking about. People with good hearts make our communities great places to live. You can always tell what kind of contribution someone’s making by what people say when misfortune occurs.

That’s the way it was with Steve. Everywhere I’ve gone, everyone I‘ve spoken with has asked me about his health and if he is going to be alright. They’ve also started to come to help with meals and mundane things such as yard work.

With all this going on around me you can see why I took what Judith Rasoletti said to heart. She knows what she’s talking about. After all, she came here on vacation and loved it so much she packed up her life in Miami and moved here. I love the way she has opened her heart to make such a difference here.

She’s made such a difference here that others have stepped up to help her just when she really needed the help. It’s a beautiful thing when the help comes and it is recognized as a blessing by the receiver!

I know you may be having your struggles right now just like my friends Steve and Judith. But, if there is one thing I know for sure it’s that good things will happen for you right when you need them to. I’ve seen it too many times to deny it. So, start to look for the good to begin to come and you’ll see it; but make sure you’re open to receiving the goodness in ways you haven’t anticipated. That’s what will make it truly miraculous!

Does Your Brand Have Value?

“Branding is some form of connecting.”
-Mark W. Hurst

Does Your Brand Have Value in Your Market Place?

Cattle trotting on a dirt road in the heat of the day are not something I’m used to seeing anymore. But, that wasn’t always the case. I have visions of dust bellowing up and swirling around brown and white cows as they march through my memories. Perhaps the strangest thing about this haunting is my still clear view of their hot, panting faces.

These cows had just been branded and dehorned so they had blood streaming down the sides of their cheeks. This accentuated the anguished look they threw my way as they passed. It was a scene fairly common to me at the time, but it always had a huge impact on me. I remember asking my parents why the cattle looked that way and why the local ranchers did it to them.
Branding, they told me, was necessary. It was the way a rancher marked his property. These cattle were now advertising to the world who owned them and what ranch they belonged to. It was a way of telling everyone who they were and what their purpose was.

Their horns were a different story altogether. My parents told me that the horns were removed so the cows wouldn’t hurt each other when they were in holding pens or being shipped somewhere on a truck. It was all very logical and business like. But it was never that way for me. Perhaps that’s why I never got into the cattle business. I just couldn’t live all those faces trotting around in my head.

So, at a tender age, I stayed in the soda bottle business. I’d spend all day walking the ditches looking for discarded bottles. They were easy to gather up and return to the small store in town in exchange for coins I could use to purchase candy and other bottles filled with refreshing, cold bubbling drinks. I didn’t understand it then but these bottles were branded as well.

All of these memories came roaring back to me this week as I listened to Mark Hurst make a presentation about branding. I really hadn’t thought how much branding had been such a big part of my life until I sat there listening and pondering.

“I wonder what my personal brand is telling everyone around me.” I thought to myself. I don’t have a burn mark on my skin telling people where I’m from and where my life is centered. But I do consume products. I drink branded beverages. I wear branded clothing. I drive branded cars. I eat branded food.

All of these things communicate something about me. The people selling these brands have taken the time get to know people like me. They know what I do with my life and they’ve created a pretty good connection with me.

For example, I can always tell you what Mountain Dew is going to taste like. I can describe what the label looks like. Each “Dew” holds a promise that must be delivered with each sip. It tells me that I can always count on receiving a consistent product. It tells me what kind of quality to expect.

Now I have to wonder if I deliver the same quality of product to the world. Do the people I live and work with know exactly what they’ll get from me? Have they come to know what kind of grooming I’ll do? Do they know they can trust me to give them my best effort every day? Do they feel good enough about me to invite me into their office or their home?

Take a while to really think about yourself as a major global brand. What kind of people would you want to take you home with them? What kinds of activities would you like to be invited to participate in? If someone was to put you on display in their home what room would they place you in? How much money would people be willing to pay for you? Would others want you as part of their life?

When people speak your name, I hope they do so with loving thoughts. I hope they think kind thoughts about you. I hope they want to introduce you to everyone they know.

You can create your own brand! Do your market research and determine who you want your customer to be (who you want to live your life with). Make sure you’re able to tell your story to them through your words and actions. Put yourself in a position to have great conversations with your customers (Family, friends, co-workers). Really connect with them on a deep level.

The truth is that your personal brand is all you have. Make sure it’s a great one!

P.S. Monday’s Warm Cocoa is now easier than ever to give to others. Ask your friends to go to http://www.mondayswarmcocoa.com/ so they can enjoy what you’ve been enjoying.

Being Present Shows Respect

“Did you hang up? Wow! Thank you!
- Spencer Shaw

Being Present Shows Respect

We all live very busy lives these days! Sometimes I wish I could find a switch to flip so I could simply turn the world off for a while. I was thinking how great it would be to be able to do that and then just sit in a rocking chair on my porch for a while. That way I could rest, enjoy beauty and not get behind all at the same time.

But, I also know that I really enjoy being at the top of my game and working hard every day. I like living a fast paced life. Otherwise I would stop doing what I’m doing; and it’s clear I don’t want to stop working and I really don’t want to lessen my pace because I would miss a lot along the way.

I’ve been thinking for a couple of days, “What could I do to have and enjoy the best of both worlds? The first want being to be able to savor every part of my day and the second part, to keep up a pace that’s exhilarating and fun and bam, there was the answer!

I was working with my friend Spencer Shaw earlier this week without intention to find the answer to this conundrum. We were finalizing the next phase of a project we’ve been working on together for the past few months during a scheduled meeting when my phone rang.

The fact that my phone rang wasn’t unusual. It was my action that was unusual and I didn’t think much of it until Spencer made an immediate comment.

“Did you hang up?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Wow! Thank you!” Spencer exclaimed.

It wasn’t until that moment, when I saw his reaction that I realized how much I had been missing as a result of my “phone addiction.” I say addiction because there are very few times I don’t have my phone turned on and with me.

I‘ve lived that way for so long now that I’ve come to be blind as to how distracting it is. There is always a part of my mind waiting for a call. It is almost as if it is hungering for a call, a text, or the next contact. After all, being connected is justified. I have to do it. I don’t have a choice. If I’m not answering, the business will go to someone else. But at what’s the real cost of this addiction?

The real cost is the damage to personal relationships. Now that I think about it, I am haunted by the look of disappointment of the people I’m with when they see me answer a call. I can see the look on their face when I brush them aside to talk with someone else.

“Is the caller more important than I am?” is the thought going through their mind!

I was taught a similar lesson many years ago as a freshman in college. It was painful then and I’m surprised I didn’t see its relationship to my life now.

I had a group of friends and we’d planned to go out one weekend night. I’d made all the commitments and was excited to go with them for an evening of fun. They were counting on me to go and I knew it. Our activity required an exact number of people. It was going to be fun.

Then, just a couple of hours before we were to meet, I got the chance to go out with a girl I’d wanted to go out with. I was thrilled with the prospect of finally getting to go out with her. I jumped at the chance and made the date. It just so happened that my Father had been listening to my conversations.

As soon as I had completed confirming my new date he said, “You had a commitment! Now you’re saying to your friends that you’re their friend only until something better comes along!”
He was right.

It was too late though so I went on the date. I had a miserable time!

When Monday came I had another miserable time. I went to meet with every one of my jilted friends and apologized to them. My Father was right. I had sent an awful message to them. They had gotten it loud and clear and it took me a long time to repair the damage I had done to the relationship.

Sometimes in life the subtle things we think we do aren’t quite so subtle to those closest to us. We’re sending them little messages constantly. Sometimes it’s through our words, sometimes it’s through our actions. It doesn’t matter how the message is sent. What matters is that it is sent.

Think about the messages you’re sending to the people who are important to you. If you want to know what they are, simply take a significant moment and study the faces of those you love. You’ll see what message they’re getting.

Thank goodness I sent the right message to Spencer this one time. The message was, “Spencer, you’re important to me and what you’re helping me with is important.”

That’s the answer I’ve been looking for. I can savor the time I spend with the people that are important to me and I can get my work done as well. You can too! Make sure you’re giving the people you’re with the right message through your actions and words! It’s as easy as hanging up the phone.

Are There Fish in Your Fishing Hole?

“I read an article that said there was no business where you are.”
- Brad Burnside

Are There Fish in Your Fishing Hole?

When I was a young boy I loved to fish. I especially liked to go to the high Uinta Mountains, in Utah, and fish for native Cut Throat Trout in the streams and lakes. These fish are called Cut Throat because of the bright red color along their throat. The reason I loved to fish for them was because of their taste and their fight.

There were days when I would leave camp with not much more than my fishing pole, knowing that I would catch fish, build a fire and then enjoy eating fresh fish for lunch and dinner. I can’t remember a time I ever went hungry because my father had taught me the right kind of fly to use in these mountains. I don’t know where he learned what to use, but I knew he was experienced so I took his word for it. As a result, I never wanted for a tug on my line.

When I was about fifteen I had the opportunity to be in the Youth Conservation Corp in these same mountains. There was a lot of work to be done. We maintained hiking trails, banded geese, repaired camp grounds and learned about the ecology of the high country. I thought it was a wonderful summer because I got to fish almost every day.

We lived in a big camp and huge tents. I don’t know how many of us there were, but I’d say we were sort of a teen aged army living in the forest. Of course, we had counselors to act as our guides and teachers so we learned a lot as we lived and worked together.

One of our counselors was from Pennsylvania. He had been hired because he was a fishing expert. He would work with us during the day and then in the evenings and on weekends he would take us out to fish.

I remember our first outing together. I took my fishing gear and began to get it ready at the side of the lake so I could fish. He asked me if I needed help and I told him no!

He looked at the end of my line and then said, “You won’t catch anything with that.”
I just looked up at him and smiled saying, “We’ll see.”

It wasn’t long before he saw that I was the only one in the group catching fish! He couldn’t understand it. Finally when I had caught my limit he came over and asked me what I was using because he had never seen it before.

The next time we went to a town for supplies and to do laundry I watched him slip off to the local fishing store. When we were fishing next he was catching fish! He was smart enough to change the way he did things so he could be successful!

I have been thinking of this because I was driving in the Park City area yesterday and noticed a man fishing at a local pond. I didn’t think much about it when I saw him at a distance, but when I got closer I realized why he had caught my eye. I never saw people fishing at that pond!
The reason I never saw people fishing at that pond is that there are no fish at that pond! Now, I don’t know why he was there for sure. Perhaps he was just practicing his casting. Perhaps he was just practicing his patience! If the latter is correct then he picked the right spot! He would never catch a fish there.

And, sadly these many years after my teen aged years, I learned on a radio program that there are very few places where one can catch Bonneville Cut Throat Trout in these mountains I have called home. They have been replaced by rainbow trout. I can still catch fish, but they don’t taste the same and they don’t fight the same, so fishing isn’t the same for me anymore. But when I fish, I make sure I go to a body of water that has fish.

A friend of mine told me he had been really struggling with his business. He said asked me if an article he had read about business in my area was true. I asked him what it said. He said that there wasn’t any business happening.

I asked him if the person writing the article was from Pennsylvania. Of course he couldn’t know I was thinking of my dear fishing friend of many years ago.

He looked at me in a puzzled way before saying, “I don’t think so.”

“Things change in life all the time and everywhere we look. It will always be so.” I said. “Things are going well for me. Just make sure you use the right bait, fish in a pond with fish, and go to work when the fish are biting!”

“It may be a blessing in disguise”
- Annie Butterfield

Swimming Against the Tide

Have you ever had your eye fixed on a goal only to find that things haven’t worked out the way you wanted them to? Have you ever struggled with creating an outcome you wanted, only to find that nothing you can do will cause it to come into being? I call it “swimming against the tide.”

I don’t know if you’ve ever had experience swimming in the ocean or not. I haven’t had a lot of ocean swimming experience so I don’t know a lot about it, but I had heard about a phenomenon called a rip tide and I had seen signs on the beach warning of rip tide conditions. But that didn’t prepare me for an experience with one.

When I was in college some friends and I decided to travel to Mexico for spring break. We went to Acapulco to spend time in the sand and warm ocean air. It was a wonderful break from the snow, cold and wind we were experiencing at the University of Utah.

There were four of us on this adventure and we were drinking in the sunshine. We found some new friends and spent our days and nights drowning in the moment. It was a trip to remember!

One day we went to out of town to the Princess Hotel to be with some new friends. The hotel had a great beach and we took advantage of it. I love to swim so I went out to body surf with my buddies. Out and in we went. The waves were like music. The sky was as deep as the ocean. It was one of those days where the crowd of people added to the experience. It wouldn’t have been as fun without lots of people there to share with.

I was always with friends until one moment when I noticed that everyone became distant from me in what seemed to be an instant. I’m a strong swimmer and didn’t give it a second thought. I could see the beach so all I had to do was to swim in!

The harder I swam, the further away I got. In a few minutes I became tired and a little frightened. I couldn’t understand what was happening. All I knew was that the beach was getting farther and farther away despite my best efforts.

Just at the moment of despair I noticed a young man swimming next to me. He was clearly a “local” and he began to talk with me.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yes.” I said.

I was not completely honest!

He just looked at me and said, “Follow me.”

I did follow him and to my surprise he didn’t head directly to the beach. He headed to our right.
Soon, the ocean became my friend again as it began to gently push us to the beach in a constant, encouraging motion. I relaxed. We arrived on the beach where we were greeted by my friends.
We stood on the beach and my young rescuer pointed to a brown stripe in the water. It was a different color than the water we had just glided through. He said, “You were caught in a rip tide. You could not have made it back fighting the strength of the ocean.”

In a moment he was gone. I don’t know who he was. I do know that he was more experienced than I!

It is impossible for any one of us to know everything there is to know. It is impossible for any one of us to have all the experience we need. So, it’s a good thing we know each other.
My friend Judith Rasoletti and I had a wonderful talk this week. She had been swimming against the tide in her life. She knew the water around her was brown and dark. She didn’t know what direction to swim in to make it back to safety.

“I was looking for office space and read a small ad,” she said.

“Now my business is doing well and is growing. I am with a great group of people that are helping me.”

She is swimming with the tide again. The strength of the ocean is gently pushing her toward her beach and she is gliding with confidence. All it took was a small change in direction.

I know I’m not always able to see the color of the water around me without help and sometimes it seems as if the right direction is the wrong direction. It is at those times I listen to my daughter Annie’s words, “It could be a blessing in disguise.”

At those times I also hear Judith’s words, “We can’t do it without each other. In times like these the real blessing is to have lots of friends to help us.”

You have valuable experience. Share it with everyone you can. We can all use the help!

Change One Life Now, Change Thousands in the Future

“We can identify problems all our life, but that isn’t enough. We must do something about them!”
- Quinn Heder

Change one Life Today so you can Change Thousands in the Future

Last night I went with my wife and one of my daughters to have dinner at Alpine Academy. I expect you haven’t heard about Alpine Academy or Utah Youth Village, but they’ve been on my mind a great deal as of late. That’s because I’ve been thinking about the growing importance of mercy in our world today.

My friend Janette Thompson and her friend Erin act as “parents,” for Alpine Academy. They’re parents for ten teen-aged girls and they live in a large family home almost right across the street from me. Alpine Academy provides a chance for the girls to learn how a family works and grow from experiencing a functioning family. So when we were invited to come over for dinner, it wasn’t just any dinner. It was to a family dinner and a great opportunity for us to get to know each other; family to family and person to person.

Meeting with other people so you can get to know them is almost a lost art these days. I was reminded of this yesterday as I was shopping in Costco. I passed person after person with headphones in their ears. Talk about a large “Don’t talk to me” sign on the forehead. It’s hard to get to know someone who doesn’t want to hear a word you have to say!

But, that wasn’t the case last night! How nice it was to sit with neighbors who really wanted to just sit and talk. And talk we did!

We talked about each person there. We learned about each one; where they were from and what their hopes are for the future.

Because of their attendance at Alpine Academy each girl has a brighter future. I was most touched when Julia, a girl from the Atlanta area, gave us a tour and then stopped at a picture of Lila Bjorklund, founder of Alpine Academy.

Julia told us that Lila started Utah Youth Village and managed it without pay for more than 25 years. Then she said, “Grandma Lila believed that if you changed one girl now, you could change thousands in the future.”

For Lila, it was not enough to be concerned about troubled children - she put a roof over their heads and taught them responsible behavior.

It was not enough to found a program for troubled girls - she also managed it, 40 - 50 hours a week, without financial compensation, for over 25 years.

It was not enough to build one group home - she built four.

It was not enough to build four group homes - she opened 40 foster homes to care for younger victims of abuse and neglect.

It was not enough to provide a safe home for over 200 children a year - she instituted a program to teach their parents to help them, so they could remain with their families, and together they could heal and learn to live with mutual respect and caring.

With Lila, as long as there were troubled children, she could never do enough.

“Can I ever do enough?” I asked my friend Quinn Heder today. We were talking about life and what it means to have faith.

He asked me what I thought having faith meant.

“When my mind tells me one thing and I feel inside that things are going to be alright anyway,” I said.

One can believe things are going to be alright in the future as much as they want, but without doing something about it nothing is going to change we concluded.

So, I’m looking in the mirror a lot these days asking myself one question.

Am I showing enough mercy to everyone around me?

Then I think, “I must become the kind of person that looks at everyone around me and says, yes I know you’ve made mistakes. I have too! It’s o.k., I love you anyway. Let me give you a hand up so we can share happy lives together.”

I feel honored to be able to look across the street and see what Lila Bjorklund was able to create with the help of lots of other good hearted people! I feel comfort in the fact that girls across my own road are changing so they can change the lives of thousands to come. I feel humbled to know that there are many small things I can do to help them along their way.

You can help too. If you would like to become part of changing lives use this link: http://www.youthvillage.org/donate.php or, you can contact me and I’ll be able to talk with you about helping.

It isn’t enough to just see the problems around us anymore. Won’t you join me and work to change the lives of thousands in the future?