Monday's Warm Cocoa, 2 September 2024, "Sparks of Joy"

“We have a pond.” – My Grandsons.

Sparks of Joy

Yesterday was quite blustery. The expected morning rain never materialized. But, not to be completely stingy, while still being unpredictable, Mother Nature sent promised rain in the afternoon. It rained for a couple of hours and the darkness of the rainclouds caused many to feel as if evening had arrived early.

Perhaps the late afternoon felt even a little darker, and more like evening, after working for the entire day. Nonetheless, it was dinner time, albeit an early dinner, and rather than giving an extra jolt of energy, the food seemed to confirm that an evening shutdown was the proper order of things. Yet, one dinging notification arrived in-between bites.

“We’re heading to our property. If you want to come by, you can.”

The weather outside was not as dismal as it had been. But, its gloomy, roiling internal remnant remained, causing a hesitation to accept the kindly invitation. You know about such inner debates. We all face them.

One side said, “I’m tired and don’t want to go out.” The other side responded with, “Remember that article you just read about “micro-acts of joy?”

“This is the emotional illusion that we’re susceptible to over-prioritizing moments of unpleasantness,” Dr. Emiliana R. Simon-Thomas, the science director at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science says. “Shifting your perspective is an exercise in looking at those difficult moments from a high vantage point, and reimagining how this unpleasantness might be a catalyst for some growth, or some new learning, or perhaps a positive outcome.”

Who can’t benefit from a positive outcome in today’s world? I sure can. So, I decided to give it a try by accepting the invitation and shifting my location.

After a short ten-minute drive, I saw one little grandson lying belly down, with his head peering over the edge of their pond’s dock. He was talking with his older brother, who was in the water swimming. They were getting ready to climb on their family’s paddleboard, so they could giggle more and paddle around together, under the now bright azure sky. I sat on the edge of their pond watching them play in the water-laced-sunshine.

Sunshine filled my heart instantly! Because of being part of two boys’ simple, joyful micro-act. 

“This is how ‘moments of unpleasantness’ can change in an instant,” the poignant words of the article embedded, as the two boys came rushing toward me, squealing joyfully in unison.

“We have a pond!”

We, all of us, have access to such humble sparks of joy. Let’s let them flame-out illusionary unpleasantness through acceptance and seeking-out of simple, micro-moments of happiness.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vQ1IEEKnTvQfoeb_CB_ftokpGvpCnJc8/view?usp=drive_link

Monday's Warm Cocoa, Moving Feet - 26 August 2024

“Have moving feet!” – Scott Spangler

Moving Feet

“Out of everything I’ve said today, I want you to remember one thing,” Scott Spangler said with a softening kindness around his eyes. “If you will do this, it will change your life.”

He had said some, already life changing things, so to think more important words were coming was hard to take in. You can imagine how quickly the shift from careful listening to, “listening with greater intensity came. Yet, Scott didn’t change his tone or delivery in any way, another evidence of his natural, caring nature.

“Get your feet moving,” he continued. “Don’t let fear stop you. And, be sure to listen to your intuition while walking. Trust your intuition.”  He then went on to tell how one happenstance opened the way for his life to change, in a way he could have never anticipated or plan.

“I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth,” he said. “I was always the person who felt I needed to work harder than anyone else to be successful. While working my way through college at a ski resort in Colorado, I became friends with a family from Connecticut. They came to Colorado every year and in some ways, I had become part of their family.”

The winter of Scott’s last year in college the Connecticut father asked him to come over to their vacation home so they could talk. He recounted how nervous he was at the prospect, because even though he had been in that same home with these friends for many years, this time felt different, more formal. And, it was, kind of. Because, during that visit, Scott was invited to move to the East Coast and work in the father’s firm.

“I remember feeling elated and fearful at the same time,” Scott confided.

He said that the fear was so strong it almost caused him to retreat to his comfortable, current life.

“I had never lived anywhere outside of Colorado,” he continued. “I wrestled with the fear, for what seemed like, forever! Then I decided to move my feet, to let them guide me.”

Once he started his work on the East Coast he found comfort. Perhaps most importantly, he had learned a life changing lesson.

“I learned that fear can stop me from allowing my inner-self, my core, true self to lead the way. It is the most authentic part of us and I learned to trust it. From that moment on, I’ve been able to keep my feet moving, despite my fear. Now it is a personal characteristic, an individual guiding principle.”

Today, Scott is back in Colorado. His feet have brought him home to run his own firm. He still works much harder than most. It is still one of his distinguishing traits. Yet, it is not his most trusted virtue. Now we know why.

“Out of everything I’ve said today, I want you to remember one thing,” Scott Spangler said with a softening kindness around his eyes. “If you will do this, it will change your life.”

“Have moving feet!”

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vQ1IEEKnTvQfoeb_CB_ftokpGvpCnJc8/view?usp=drive_link

Monday's Warm Cocoa, 19 August 2024, Look at Me!

 

“I’m here!” – My Grandson

Look at Me!

“I’m here!” He said with exuberance, while standing directly to my left.

I was sitting in our family room upon his arrival. As is often the case, I was still working at home into the evening. Though I knew he was there, I didn’t look over at him; keeping my eyes fixed on a lifeless screen.

A few moments passed. I was still looking at that screen, concentrating, without acknowledging him. I was just finishing up a response and was so engrossed that I didn’t stop to think about the feelings of my treasured grandson. And, what a miracle it was to have him there.

It was a miracle, because his arrival in our home marked the first full day he had been released from the children’s hospital. He had spent four days there, clinging to life for two of those days. During that time, his normal effervesce had evaporated. I knew it was vanished, because I had spent hours sitting next to his bed, examining his ashen face for signs of improvement. And, hoped-for progress was slow coming, like waiting for Christmas Day to arrive, as sleep was banished by excitement, for the entire eve.

We were all worried for his welfare day, evening and night. We dropped all things that were proven to be lacking in importance, as compared to our cherished boy. Yet, a couple of days hence where showing me to be fickle, at the very least. Oh, how short the memory of an old man can be, even without medically diagnosed memory loss. Luckily, that was about to change as a result of the persistence of youth.

“Look at me!” He said in exasperation.

Like a mule kick to the head, without the accompanying, imprinted hoof mark, I finally received his message.

He was saying, “I’m not invisible, even though you are pretending me to be!”

So, I put my screen down, in its place, out of my hands.

“I know you are!” I responded. “I’m so happy to see you! Thanks for coming to visit.”

Then, I dragged my old bones out of their comfortable seated position and took a couple of steps over to him, to scoop him up in gratitude, as a gesture of love. It was a simple gesture, aimed at thanking him for his patience with me.

This episode also reminded me of a conversation with a friend who had become crippled with age; who before was a celebrated athlete. I asked him once how he made it through his days in such pain with shadow. He responded with a simple comment.

“I do what’s important and let everything else go!”

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vQ1IEEKnTvQfoeb_CB_ftokpGvpCnJc8/view?usp=drive_link

Monday's Warm Cocoa, 12 August 2024 - Open Avenues

“If I’m ever feeling a little down all I have to do is walk in here!” – Kelly Sampson

Open Avenues

Kelly Sampson returned my call after three or four days and to my embarrassment I paused, saying, “I’m sorry, can you remind me what I called you about?”

She was very kind, reminding me that I had called about SOAR, her hot air balloon festival. That little piece of information brought me right back on track and I asked if we come meet, so she could share the story of SOAR’s genesis. An appointment was confirmed, she gave me the address, and we met within a day.

The reception desk where Kelly works, Open Avenues, isn’t quite like any other reception desk I’ve experienced! Alex, a lovable golden retriever, stuffed animal in mouth, greeted me with welcoming-sparkling-eyes and growling playful speech. When I looked to my right, a tuxedo-style pup with a ribbon in her hair, was perched between the receptionists monitor and key board. She, a snobby little dog, had a very clear, “I don’t care who you think you are” look on her face, as Kelly was asked to come out. 

I already felt right at home and had an imaginary warm, just-baked-bread smell waft through my nose and lungs as Kelly walked over to shake my hand.

“Would you like to take a tour of our facility?” She asked.

Yes. I responded eagerly, while dutifully following her through two double doors into a large warehouse-like space, as she explained, “When I came to work here as the Marketing Director, our largest fundraising event was a fairly generic, mimeographed-like annual gala. And, I wanted to do something more fun, while matching the feeling of the uniquely wonderful we people serve!” She spoke with a smile radiating through her bright blue eyes, as we passed through those doors and into a voluminous room filled with happy people.

“If I’m ever feeling a little down all I have to do is walk in here!” Kelly grinned.

Meeting the people there, doing meaningful work and most importantly, are part of a supporting community, of not just other workers, but men and women who loved being together because of their conjointly held joy, made our own hearts soar!

Open Avenues’ mission is to provide people, with all types of handicaps, with meaningful work, education, training and society. And, SOAR they do!

So much so, that I went back there just yesterday, because, like Kelly Sampson, if I’m ever feeling a little down all I have to do is walk into Open Avenues, so I can laugh together with the people there, like I’ve never giggled before.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vQ1IEEKnTvQfoeb_CB_ftokpGvpCnJc8/view?usp=drive_link

Chance - Monday's Warm Cocoa 5 August 2024

 

“I love to have a little more chance in my life.” – Jewel Mlnarik

Chance

Sometimes when walking the same floor, a well-known floor, it can feel suddenly worn, sort of as if it doesn’t fit anymore. It can lead to feeling unsettled, almost as if that familiar floor has somehow moved. You can’t figure out how it moved, without you noticing, because of the frequency with which you walk it. Yet, you sense it’s time for a change; to get a new floor to walk on. And, change can be a tortuous decision. Such anguish often leads to loneliness and a feeling of isolation, as well as to the discovery of chances.

“I love to have a little more chance in my life,” Jewel Mlnarik said while sitting in a spontaneous circle of virtual strangers. It was a statement of such situational relevance that it seemed to bore deep into my ear and it began to shrill inside my head, as if simulating the song of cicada descending from trees. And, it was a harmony spoken by Ben Clayton, founder of Double Jump Media.

“You know,” he said, “You’re only one text away from another introduction.” While looking around the enclosing circle of Joshua Dover, Jewel Mlnarik, Ben Clayton and me. It was a welcome invitation because of the shared experience of the seated, recent floor-replacing quartette.

Jewel had newly left her life of familiarity, creating a new place for change in a new state. Ben had moved his business and life from Missouri to walk the new floors he felt calling. And Joshua had just initiated his dreamt-of-chance to start a new business, using his well-honed technology skills. These changes had colluded to form an imperceptible runway toward a spur-of-the-moment circle, after participating in a much larger gathering.

Jewel’s predictive, “I love to have a little more chance in my life,” was the moment’s narrative.

A narrative showing that when walking a new floor with strangers, it can feel suddenly inspiring, sort of as if chance is welcoming disparate pieces to fit together, forming a new picture puzzle. It can feel as if a magically-shifting floor is moving people together by chance. You can’t figure out how it moved without you noticing, while perceiving the painting of a new portrait. That’s because of natural apprehension while walking on an unfamiliar surface. Yet, you somehow know the path is welcoming transformation; while introducing new friends to walk with. It can all feel quite miraculous. 

Such wonder often leads to additional impetus, excitement and feelings of camaraderie, all realized by accepting an invitation to have a little more chance in your life.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vQ1IEEKnTvQfoeb_CB_ftokpGvpCnJc8/view?usp=drive_link

Red Wagon, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 29 July 2024

“Experience is not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you.” – Aldous Huxley

Red Wagon

My wife’s parents purchased our children a little red Radio Flyer wagon and gave it to us when our children were young. Grandma and Grandpa still had a Radio Flyer in use at the home where my wife grew up. The gift was a rite of passage in their family and we were so pleased to be able to keep that little red wagon flame burning bright. Our kids used it and when they flew the coop we still used it for lots of tasks around our yard, keeping it active, waiting for the day when our grandchildren would be toted around our neighborhood in it. And, about three days ago a similar red wagon story was unexpectedly, twice recited.

An email from Kimberly Norris introduced me to a new friend, Carla Burg. Kimberly is always planting such fostering relationship seeds. It’s her normal practice and they’re always amazing connections, improving both my personal and business life in unexpected ways. This introduction was not an exception.

Carla, it turns out, told me of her experience with Helen Walton, a magnificent person, who was well known in her small town for community involvement and philanthropy, which included a love for beautifying public spaces. Carla’s notable story painted a vibrant picture of Helen and her habit of transporting flowers in her little red Radio Flyer wagon and planting them in the entrance garden of the Benton County Courthouse, on Bentonville Square, just a few short blocks from her home.

In the 1970s, Helen Walton took it upon herself to enhance the appearance of the community’s centerpiece. She added beauty and charm to the town’s center by personally selecting and planting flowers. Perhaps equally as important, Helen offered a Radio-Flyer-led-rite-of-passage for coming generations to model. She shaped a path for continuation of civility and goodness by leading the way for others in a simple, yet impactful way, which is revered this very day. 

Later, just hours after Carla shared Helen’s storied example, in another gathering of community minded people, the leader of a new, not for profit endeavor used Helen’s Radio Flyer, flower planting example as the impetus for entering into community service herself. She is “still not ready to give it up” after more than twenty years of self-giving.

Aldous Huxley said, “Experience is not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you.”

So, I’m passing this “Red Wagon Rite of Passage” to you. And, like my wife’s parents and Helen Walton, it’s what you do with it that matters now and in the future.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vQ1IEEKnTvQfoeb_CB_ftokpGvpCnJc8/view?usp=drive_link

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” – Fredrick Douglas

The Struggle with Dreams

Reflecting on moments that have shaped his life, actor Ethan Hawke recently reflected on how what he calls courageous expression promoted his own healing and connection with others. 

"There is no path till you walk it," he says.

And, walking that path isn’t always easy. While dreaming is often easy, few have connected the always accompanying difficulty that always occurs when the dream of a lifetime progress toward realization.

“Now that I can see the possibility of my dream coming true, I’m afraid,” Christina anxiously said during a recent phone call.

The anxiety piggybacking on her voice was unmistakable. It carried an emotional plea for validation. She was seeking confirmation that the decision she was in the process of making was the right thing to do. She was weighing many factors, all of which would be shifting her situation away from the comfortable.

Part of that comfort was the held familiarity of her dreamt of future; something that would happen someday, but not today. She wasn’t ready to let go of that companionship. It had become an essential part of her thoughts and stimulus to keep moving forward. What would she do without it? This fear, common to all may be labeled, “Dream Challenge.”

Dream Challenge is your personal aspiration asking you if you really want it. If you’re willing to cross the last hurdle to usher in its realization. It’s something Fredrick Douglas understood well.

He said, “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”

Advancement means moving forward. Which also means walking on new ground, with unfamiliarity. And, many people answer their dream’s last question of desire with hurdle acquiescence. They don’t even try to move past the familiar. They see the hurdle as repulsive, rather than a door through which to progress. And, at this point you may be asking, “what was Christina’s response?”

She and Alexander, her husband, answered with a great leap! And, to their delight they found that the seeming hurdle, at first appearing to be gargantuan, was nothing more than a twig across the path toward their future. It crumbled as soon as it was challenged by their commitment. It was as if the doorway forward had been magically opened.

“Realization of our dream seems to be divinely appointed,” she said today.

"There is no path till you walk it," Ethan Hawke says. And, Christina heartily agrees, while looking forward to more personal courageous expression promoting her own healing and connection with others, and the divine.

Are you acting courageously while dreaming?

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1rv-M3STZZFYUcWvqdlamPYy7_5MXNWy4?usp=drive_link