Monday's Warm Cocoa, 18 November 2024, "Plenty of Good"

See beauty in the midst of the trees

Plenty of Good

It was toward the end of a long day. No. That is not right. It was nearing the end of a very long four-and-a-half-month process. A process originally envisioned to be completed within a couple of weeks kept continuing. And one thing was sure. Its end was about to evaporate like a drop of water on a searing cooktop.

“This isn’t lining up right,” Manuel said. “Please come and look at it.”

He was right. The pattern in the carpet was not lining up right. Suddenly, the last leg of this remodeling project was not as simple as everyone involved thought it would be.

The hard-working-crew sat and kneeled on the carpet they were not longer installing. Their faces showed disappointment and fatigue. After all, they had been working quickly and efficiently with the hope of finishing the job so they could begin their weekend. Instead of feeling good about a job well done, they were all speaking on their phones quietly, explaining why they weren’t on their way home.

“I try to do good work,” Manuel said. “I don’t want to do work for someone else that I wouldn’t do for myself.”

It was another delay on a project that had experienced delay after delay, extra costs and now potentially another cost increase. Everyone in the room looked and felt doleful.

At times such as these it can be easy to look at all of the encountered problems as if lost in a vast forest. Where trees tower over and dominate the whole picture. Yet, they are not the whole forest and are certainly not the whole for those with the ability to direct their focus. 

Here’s a simple secret: The more you recognize and celebrate infinite good, the less overawed you’ll be. Take moments to note the often unnoticed, hidden, beautiful and positive in all. Are you seeing the beautiful pond, the vibrant pink flowers and the lush green moss in the midst all those trees? When you cultivate your ability to do so, you’ll begin to see that good is everywhere, for those who have the developed the proficiency to see it.

Ask yourself a simple question when feeling lost in the trees of disappointment or discouragement. What good has come from this?

Manuel could have pressed his crew to complete their work regardless of the less than desirable outcome. It would have allowed them to be paid in full and begin their weekend on time. They could have all walked away without giving their integrity a thought.

Think of the compliments or words of gratitude you could share with such people around you, those offering good to you freely. We often downplay, overlook or downright ignore this kind of generously given good. We’re so focused on the negative (due to the brain’s negativity bias). But acknowledging the good things can remind you to have a more realisticoutlook. You, like everyone else, receive unique gifts of graciousness constantly.

We all receive plenty of good.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

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The Back 40 Loop

“Great stuff. Lots of fun and flow.” – Patrick Jones

The Back 40 Loop

He looked sincere and excited as he said, “I live here because of the trails.  I love to ride my bike on the ‘Back 40.’”

The Back 40 isn’t simply a world-class mountain bike riding trail; it’s a testament to both sport and life. These 40 miles will make you feel like you’re in the middle of nowhere, but are rideable.  And, the trail has some image evoking section names, such as Slaughter Pen and Blowing Springs. He said with a slightly turned-up smirk, as he continued his description.

There are easier trails to follow for sure.  There are some harder ones as well.  He interprets The Back 40 Loop as intermediate.  And, it’s so easy to feel his excitement as he talks about the trail’s attributes, such as the trail’s wooden outcroppings which are seemingly, miraculously gripping the sides of shear rock cliffs.  He also loves riding in the overhanging shade of those same cliffs.

In a quip, Patrick Jones called this trail, “Great stuff.  Lots of fun and flow. But, the razor-sharp rocks proved formidable foes to our sidewalls.”

That one phrase, formidable foes, seemingly triggered a shift in his position and he effortlessly transitioned from talking exclusively about his bicycling adventures to how riding trails actually “saved his life.” 

“Mountain biking has taught me some important things.  Things about the power of exercise, the importance of distraction through recreation and most importantly about how to break free of painful Back-40-Loops in life.  Because, sometimes it can feel as if a difficult or dark cycle in life is inescapable.  So, here are my four painful-loop-breaking tips.”  Patrick said.

First, focus. Be fully absorbed within your present moment.  “I’ve found this to be especially important when riding through very difficult or technically challenging sections of a trail.  Not giving such a trail my full attention will almost always result in a crash!  In these situations, there can be no room in my mind for thinking back, re-living the past, or about what may be ahead on the trail.”  

Patrick also says that when he learned this, he discovered its unique ability to increase his joy.  “It gave me the emotional room necessary to increase inner joy, by allowing me to savor what I call, moment-by-moment accomplishment!” 

Second, choose joy as much as possible. “Interestingly, I learned that the most challenging trails, those that hold my attention fully, give me the greatest sense of accomplishment!”  There is something about being fully absorbed, tuned-in, to one particular moment or challenge that gives a person a greater sense of fulfillment.  “Sure, navigating difficult terrain, is well, difficult!  But I think humans are hard-wired to work and overcome.  That’s why we purposefully do things that challenge us. Allow yourself to claim joy by working toward triumph.”

Third, be actively grateful.  “I use the term actively grateful because for some reason, sometimes people seem to think that gratitude is something that just happens. It just kind of magically happens.  I guess that can be the case, but when I finish a ride my sense of gratitude is heightened by spending a well-deserved time of rest, relaxation and reflection.”  

Patrick says this is especially true when he takes the time to sit with friends, share a cold drink, and become a storyteller about how close he came to certain death while riding the trail. “That’s when it hits me most!” He says, “I think to myself right then, ‘wow!’ I can’t believe I just did that!  Then, I let a warm rush of accomplishment, a feeling of ‘I’m just grateful to still be alive’ fill my soul.”

Fourth, surround yourself with support from people who understand.  “Some people can ride alone forever and be happy.  People with that proclivity tell me that riding is what they love.  I get that, but when I share the ride, the experience, with others who ‘get it’ my joy goes to a whole new level!”  He also says that when he reaches a spot on the trail with an amazing view and he’s all alone, he wishes he could share it with someone.  But, that’s only part of his story.

Patrick also says there are plenty of times when he needs to discuss how to make it through trail obstacles with someone.  Someone who understands and has been there before.  Even if he can’t find someone who’s been on that particular trail before, discussing it with someone who’s experienced a similar situation, and conquered it, can make all the difference!  Shared pain is often more manageable pain.  And, an outsider’s perspective can often guide someone else toward finding purpose in what they’re experiencing.

He looked sincere and excited as he said, “The Back 40 isn’t simply a world-class mountain bike riding trail, it’s taught me how to break free of painful Back-40-Loops in life as well!”