Black Killer Fog

Supposed Failure

Black Killer Fog

I’ve been spending the last five years working to reach one particular goal.  I wouldn’t have set the goal if I didn’t think I could reach it, so I “left it all on the table” and worked with my head down to reach it by the end of this year.  Earlier this month I was filled with peace and accomplishment knowing that I had made it.  Well, I thought I had reached it.

Five days ago I received a bit of bad news that looked as it would be a bump in the road that turned into a clear stop.  “It’s alright.” I said to myself.  “I’ll just go another way and still reach my goal.”

Then, by the end of the day another huge block showed up and I was devastated to realize that even with all my work, visualization and self control there was no way I was going to be able to reach my goal by the end of this year.  As a result, a feeling of disappointment crept through my chest like a black killer fog.   It filled me with such despair that I began to be absorbed by deep sadness.  I could see no way out.

I don’t know about you, but when I get into that kind of situation my mind begins to run like a wild horse toward a belief that the worse thing that could possibly happen will shortly happen.  And, I was careening down this path until I had one small thought.

“So, what if the worst happened?”

It was at that moment that the whole world changed before my eyes!

“You’re right!” I said to myself.  “You didn’t reach your goal, but look what you’ve accomplished by working so hard to hit the mark!  Nothing can take that away from you!”

In once instant, my despair was replaced with gratitude for all I’d accomplished.  But, something more life changing also happened.

I noticed that the habits I’d cultivated while working toward the goal remained!  You see, I had developed a habit of keeping my eye fixed on completing certain milestones each week and even though I didn’t reach my big goal I found my mind still focused on hitting my weekly objective.  It just kind of “clicked” in without any effort on my part.  It was so automatic that it startled me!

This astonishment itself was enough to remove my sadness.  I had trained myself to have attributes of success without knowing it!  Now I know that I’ll reach my goal as a simple byproduct of habit!  It won’t be this month, but it will happen because I’ve become something more than I was before I began.

When I began the goal setting process I thought I wanted to reach some stopping point.  Now I know that reaching a stopping point isn’t what’s important.  Becoming a certain kind of person is what’s really important.

I first learned about this type of living when, by chance, I walked into a museum presentation regarding the life of George Washington.  The exhibit taught me that his life was focused on developing personal attributes.  But the discovery that it was this process that made him the greatest American didn’t happen for me until this week.

You and I can only discover our own greatness by applying this principle on a daily basis.  Take a minute to think of the habits that make you who you are today.  Then add a new habit on a regular basis and see who you can become.