Pursuing Artful Persuasion

“This isn’t happening the way I thought it would!”

-      Ron Hein

Pursuing Artful Persuasion

I had been working toward a solution for my Clients the entire day.  In fact, I had spent all of my time on the telephone and in email collecting information to make sure that the best possible outcome would be reached for the people I was representing.  Still, when I walked into a meeting with them at the end of the day I knew I would need to use all of my best persuasive skills to make sure they could see and embrace the path I had hacked out of that day’s enveloping wilderness so they could realize success.

I started the meeting by giving them the “bad” news and then immediately presented the “good” news so they could see that everything was not lost; that they would be successful in gaining exactly what they wanted in a time frame that mirrored the path they were on before its course had been overgrown with snares.  I felt that I had done a good job of showing them their success outcome until I heard these words from one of three Clients sitting at the table:

“This isn’t happening the way I thought it would!”

As the words penetrated my ears, my eyes went into action and I began to scan the three faces in front of me more intently.  One face was peaceful and comfortable. One face was unsure and questioning.  One face was defiant and angry.  My message was truly heard by only one of the three!

I reflected on this as I struggled to change my message of success to them.  I changed the words I used and the way I gave them the information.  I spoke.  I observed.  I changed the way I presented the facts based on what response I was seeing.  Finally after more than one hour had passed I was able to see all three of the faces in full agreement and happy.  This was the result I had been working toward and I relaxed greatly knowing it had been achieved.

When I meeting was successfully completed my heart was still troubled.  It was troubled because I had not been as successful as I had hoped in delivering a positive message.  All I wanted was an ending that was positive; the best outcome I could get for these important people.  I knew I could have done a better job.  I vowed to do better in the future.

In making that vow to myself I had to reset one basic principle in my mind.  One person cannot make another person do anything and have a good result!  I have reflected on this fact again and again, knowing that all successful relationships must be based on this principle of individual freedom.  Knowing this has led me to acknowledge that you and I must improve our powers of persuasion if we are to help others around us live happy, fulfilling lives.

If you want to test this one basic principle just walk up to anyone and ask them what they want out of life and they’ll more than likely say something such as, “I just want to live my life the way I want and be happy.”  Isn’t that what you want?

It’s what I want, so here’s what I learned from my meeting with the three Clients this week.  First, saying the same words to different people does not get the same result.  Second, it takes more than just saying words or hearing words to become an effective persuader.  Third, it’s important to be able to give the same information in multiple ways in order to be as powerful as you can be.  Finally, allowing people to live fully in their personal freedom allows them to have the most happiness they can achieve.

To be truly free in your own life requires you to allow others to live with the same kind of freedom.  It takes practice, observation and a heartfelt belief in freedom to truly benefit from its blessings.  I hope you’ll join me in working to persuade everyone to live the important principle of freedom so we can all live our lives they way we want and to be as happy as possible.