“A mother, and community, caring for her disabled son.” – Friday Night at Red’s

Caring to the Music

The night was dancing to music. It couldn’t have been a more perfect night. The temperature was at about seventy degrees, there were some colorful clouds capturing the vestiges of the sun’s rays before they were obscured by trembling tree foliage and a local band was bringing favorites of the past to life. It was a welcoming social. Especially at one, particular table.

That specific table was surrounded by an eye-catching group of people. One man was dressed as a train engineer of a bygone era. He was wearing bib-overalls, a white shirt and a sporty, bright red bowtie. The rest of the people seated at the table were younger than he and wore a more common fashion to an evening of outdoor music, drink and food. And, one man, in their group, rolled up in his own chair and sat kitty-corner to a bright-eyed woman who was, likely his mother. Those seated there combined to offer a distinctive contrast to most of the other neighbors and friends who were talking, eating, drinking and listening to the band. But, the group’s most distinguishing character was yet to be presented.

It wasn’t long before the Red’s Attending Staff brought an arm-load of pizza and drinks to that specific table. And, everyone sitting there soon began to transfer slices of pie to their individual plates and they began to eat. Well, everyone but two people.

The mother took a slice and began to cut it into bite-sized pieces as the others in her party ate enthusiastically. When she finished carefully cutting, she picked up a fork and gently, lovingly fed her disabled son each piece. When one piece was finished she followed the same process until both she and he were satisfied. She didn’t eat one bite until she had fully cared for him. Her selfless act of love was silent and unnoticed by most everyone else at the outdoor gathering.

But the occupants sitting at this table were not completely disregarded. When their meal was completed many others took the initiative to come over to talk with them. They were fully embraced by the community in a continued offering of love and affection as the party persisted all around as if nothing unusual was occurring. It was loud and active enough to offer a belief and possibility that the distraction of music, drink and socializing would obscure individual acts of love. Yet that was not the case.

A party of deeper meaning was occurring. It was one party, person after person, who came to offer attention and love to each other in a natural and fitting manner. Everyone was of part of an individualized act of goodness.

It was caring to the music.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and HomeByDesign Magazine to stir your heart and mind:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1M8ru02iWVObDzGsbKB1xUYyRMxfiYlez/view?usp=sharing

“Did I spend the day chasing mice or hunting antelope?” – Newt Gingrich

Chasing Mice?

One morning this week I found myself sitting in front of my computer aimlessly reviewing email. I knew the vast majority of it was of little or no importance, yet there I sat when I had a life to write. It was then that some words of former Speaker of The US House of Representatives, Newt Gingrich came galloping through my thoughts.

“Did I spend the day chasing mice or hunting antelope?”

People love to tear and tell stories. 

Does the story of chasing mice sound familiar to you? Do you find yourself engrossed in insignificant activities that may seem productive but ultimately drain your energy without providing substantial progress toward what you often, weakly profess as important and significant? What’s keeping you from writing the life story you want to tell?

Is your personal story negotiable? See if you can begin telling the story of how you achieved the “impossible.” When you do, you’ll suddenly begin to discover ways to make it come true.

Should you expect to encounter resistance to such a fantastical story? Yes! But, here’s the thing. Such resistance is usually a “test me challenge” (TMC). It appears to be a formidable barrier, but when begin to take steps to make your story real, such obstacles quickly crumble. They are not as hard to overcome as expected and are simply potential subplots.

Is it hard to write past subplots? This question came to me toward the end of one day after chasing distracting subplots almost all day. When noticing the unyielding time in the upper right-hand corner of my computer, panic gripped my consciousness. I had very little time in which to write the story of hour I had conquered one day. 

Writing the story of achieving your impossible is a tale of how you overcame obstacles that most others fall prey to. It means illustrating how you heroically engaged in meaningful living and found hoped-for promise and substantial rewards in the end. Write a happy ending from the beginning, how you accomplished more in the span of two hours than another person could accomplish in a whole day, in a whole lifetime. 

Why not begin writing your story of achieving the impossible at the commencement each day?  Show how you evaded capture by the cunning forces surrounding you. Show that you’ve been hearing the internal call of your deepest yearning.

Is there a yearning crying from your subconscious, speaking to you about something being denied?

Have you been telling yourself a story of a lesser life? 

Yes. People love to hear and tell stories. Work on your story every day. Embrace the ethos of a writer.  It may require a little editing in mindset and priorities. You may need to cultivate a writer’s discipline and focus on endeavors that align with your developing values and aspirations. It may require the setting of a new or clearer plot, a prioritization of tasks, and allocating resources judiciously. Start today.

Write your story on purpose.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and HomeByDesign Magazine to stir your heart and mind:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O6csyUhByBzo_Z50rJcY9w0uAonVelgE/view?usp=sharing

Measuring Success - Monday's Warm Cocoa, 6 May 2024

“Just be a little patient with them and they’ll come back.” – Tony Garcia

Measuring Success

“Just be a little patient with them and they’ll come back,” Tony Garcia said as we stood looking at the decimated, obviously-hurt holly plants in front of us.

I called Tony for advice because he is one of my go to friends when it comes to gardening and landscape maintenance. He always seems to be able to look past a plant’s current condition to foresee what it will look like if offered healing care and patience. In this case, he knew that the extra harsh winter had only damaged the outer branches and leaves of the plants. And, since he helps care for and maintain these same plants, he is aware of the strength residing in their roots. He sees the whole plant, not just what it reveals of itself above the soil, so I trusted Tony’s recommendation of offering patience and observed.

And, as spring advanced with its life-giving caress of temperature moderation and enriching rain, the strength hidden in the roots, foreknown by Tony, began to expose itself in the form of successful, fresh growth.

Booker T. Washington once said, “Success is to be measured not so much by the position one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”

These holly plants, once distressed by a seasonable obstacle, were soon in the process of becoming whole and beautiful again.

If you’ve run into some seasonable obstacles in your life, you can hold Tony’s recommendations with confidence. After all, everyone runs into seasonable obstacles on their journey.

Be patient with yourself. Some challenges will feel as if they’ve trimmed you right down to your roots. And remember, it may take more time than desired for your roots to fully heal you, especially if you feel as if you’ve been trimmed right down to the ground. Some damage may take years to be overcome so keep looking to your roots for strength. 

Nourish your roots daily. Be sure to place yourself in a position to receive selfcare. My friend Dawn Spencer used a simple, daily practice of reciting her blessings to start down her own healing path.

Dawn said, “I didn’t know if reciting my blessings every day would make a difference or not, but I did it anyway. My healing didn’t happen immediately while doing so, but I soon began to notice incremental improvements.” 

In her case, she was working with a bank to make progress toward catching up on late payments. Her bank’s customer service representative kindly worked with her face-to-face on a regular basis.

“She began to point out my progress as we met,” Dawn explained. “As I made progress toward catching up, I saw excitement showing on my customer service representative’s face. She repeatedly told me I was doing well and how impressed she was. As we continued working together my belief grew into rock-hard confidence, right up to the time I recognized myself as successful and fully healed, better and stronger than before.”

Like Dawn, you can look past your current condition and foreknow your immanent beauty by being patient with yourself, strengthening your roots and measuring your success by the obstacles you overcome, no matter what season of life you’re in.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and HomeByDesign Magazine to stir your heart and mind:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O6csyUhByBzo_Z50rJcY9w0uAonVelgE/view?usp=sharing

 

“He lost a lot of weight, got frostbite, hurt his shoulder and thigh.  But he is smiling.” 

– Bob Stevens

Running Toward Trouble

“There had been one man. One off-duty SAS operator who had been the first responder to the scene, and then for a long time, the only responder. It was him showing up that had driven the terrorists to cease their systematic executions and retreat to their fallback positions. This lone man had literally pressed pause on the murders of innocent civilians with his willingness to intervene.” – From Terrorist Attack Girl: How I Survived Terrorism and Reconstructed My Shattered Mind, by Meyli Chapin.

I had just finished reading this statement from Meyli Chapin’s book when Bob Stevens told me that he and Amy, his wife, were on their way to Georgia. They were on their way to attend their son Parker’s graduation from US Army Ranger School.

“Hopefully he’ll graduate,” Bob said in a nervous, yet excited voice.

“I’m not worried about him graduating at all,” I confidently responded.

Bob and Amy had been proudly telling me of Parker’s graduation from West Point about one year earlier, so I knew the purpose, character and strength that is his.

“I have been training for this my whole life,” - Christian Craighead, from “Terrorist Attack Girl.”

Parker has been training to become an Army Ranger his whole life. I knew it, because Parker knew it.

“Please send me a photo of Parker at his graduation from Ranger School,” I asked Bob. “I’d like to frame it and put it on my desk, right next to my photo of Marine Corps India Company. These photos will remind me daily of those who allow me to live the amazing life I enjoy, because of them.

The day before yesterday I received the first Parker photo from Bob with a note saying, “He lost a lot of weight, got frostbite, hurt his shoulder and thigh.  But he is smiling.”

I was smiling too, when on the next day, I received Parker’s graduation photo, the “Classic” picture taken after graduation, from Bob. 

I’m going to print and frame both Parker photos.

These photos will share my desk and will be a constant reminder to me that: He is, and others like him, the dividing line between good and evil. He is, and they are, heroes!

If you’d like to send Parker a message of gratitude, in preparation for Memorial Day, please email it to me at Lynn@LynnButterfield.com or text it to me at 801-550-6334. I’ll pass it on to Parker and his parents. Or, perhaps there is someone else you’d like to message in gratitude. If so, don’t let another day pass without doing so.

We often talk about how opportunity meets preparation.  Now’s that time. Prepare to thank our heroes and accept your opportunity.

Our heroes have! They run toward trouble for us.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and HomeByDesign Magazine to stir your heart and mind:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O6csyUhByBzo_Z50rJcY9w0uAonVelgE/view?usp=sharing

“All we can really leave are memories, so it’s important that we create them.” 

– John C. Adams II

PopKnot

John Adams says he “has wood in my veins.”

He’s a great-grandson of lumber millers and forestry managers. And, grew up watching his grandfathers working in the saw mill, amongst the trees standing in the hills of the Ozarks.

“I learned a lot, but most importantly, a hard day’s work done right was priceless,” John says to me while sitting at our handmade black walnut, round table.

John watched the men in his memory-held, mountain community “fell” trees, hook them up to the horses with chains and pull them into the lumber yard to be milled. In those days, the saws were powered by belts and pulleys. And, he gets a far-off look in his eyes as he recalls how those huge saws churned up sawdust all around them as they seemingly worked endless days. I could see his nostrils flair as he vividly recalled the smell of that freshly cut wood drifted into his nose on a country breeze.

“My grandfathers were not just lumberjacks, but real hillbilly people. They didn’t have electricity and yet they were seemingly able to provide everything they needed on the farm; from tobacco to cain sorghum molasses. They had milk cows, chickens, hogs, and mules around their hilly homesteads and stored their harvests in root cellars and where they also cured hams to fend off winter’s hunger driving cold. It was a full-family working-way-of-life,” John fondly remembers.

His eyes watched the people in his life build items from wood to sell or use. It all clearly left a lasting impression on him. An imprint that lives in the past, present and future.

“I learned a lot from those people,” He teaches. “I honor them by building items in my shop. As a disabled veteran, it’s something vital I can still do. We have 16 grandchildren who are all watching and learning, just as I did.”

He knew they were watching because they began coming to him, asking how to do wood working projects. The grandchildren who were wood-handy began to work with him to create products to sell to their friends and family. Those that didn’t want woodwork created a business plan and website. That’s how Popknot Wood was born.

John loves binding the generations of his family together through wood-born creations and restorations. And, he’s moved when they’re able to preserve wood-held-memories for their clients as well. 

“People bring legacy tables, chairs and other cherished pieces to us and we restore them. That’s what we really love to do.”

He is also cognizant of another tangible memory not far from where we were talking.

“Our family donated a plot of land on Walnut Street for a church years ago. Each member of our family created a stained-glass window and installed in that church to stay tied to that family land,” a watery eyes John imparted before continuing. “All we can really leave are memories, so it’s important that we create them.”

I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work, to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, to stir your heart and mind:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O6csyUhByBzo_Z50rJcY9w0uAonVelgE/view?usp=sharing

 

“If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, then you don’t understand it yourself.” – Albert Einstein

Six

 “I don’t think I was ever planning to have children,” Andrew said. “But now that I have one child I can’t ever imagine not having her.”

The term Felix culpa immediately came to mind as Andrew spoke about the good that has come into his life as a result the unexpected. Felix culpa is a Latin phrase that comes from the words felix, meaning ‘happy,’ ‘lucky,’ or ‘blessed,’ and culpa, meaning ‘fault’ or ‘fall.’  It’s a concept suggesting that something unexpected or unplanned can bring about greater good.

We all are the receivers of the unexpected and each instance offers an opportunity of using the “Principle of Six,” a concept initiated as a result of something Albert Einstein said long ago, “If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, then you don’t understand it yourself.” So, next time you see a child, of about six years of age, let their likeness entice you toward exploration of the unexpected.

First. At the moment of your emotional reaction to the unexpected, ask yourself, “Where is this emotion coming from?” Dave Zitting is the designer of this all important first question. He explains the question’s power by teaching of the important connection that emotion plays in every aspect of living and its relationship to often-ignored situational understanding.

Second, A six-year-old is often frustrated at their lack of situational understanding. As a result, their knee-jerk emotional reaction governs their behavior. You and I have all seen emotional outbursts displayed by exasperated children. We’ve also seen that such reactions are always unproductive. Dave’s question, when asked internally, reveals another paths forward.

Third. Be comfortable with not understanding the moment. It is impossible to know everything that can come from an unexpected occurrence. One of my favorite allegories is about a farmer who always said, “we’ll see,” when his friends and neighbors tried to label every unexpected event, that came to him, as good or bad luck. Be like the farmer who is open to “we’ll see.”

Fourth, seek long term understanding. My friend Andrew is just like the rest of us. He had no notion of the gift his daughter would be before she arrived in his life. You and I have no idea what greater good will come from life’s unanticipated occurrences. And, just like Andrew, we’ll only discover them over time.

Fifth. Look for luck. After one of our common friends once described Kristin Murdock as the “luckiest person she’s ever met,” Kristin taught me that if I simply looked for luck, it will come to me. She’s right!

Sixth. Accept the luck and gifts received as a result of your providential falls and one day, when you and I finally understand the “Principle of six,” we’ll be able to explain it to a six-year-old.

I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work, to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, to stir your heart and mind:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O6csyUhByBzo_Z50rJcY9w0uAonVelgE/view?usp=sharing

Pivotal Moment

“I grew up in a small town. I went to school there. Then one day a new family moved into our neighborhood. They had a daughter about the same age as I was and they had a younger daughter as well,” Gan said, while speaking of an early pivotal moment as a teenager.

Everyone Gan knew up to this point had always lived in the same town and had gone to the same schools. Right up to his early years in high school.

“Our town had a particular culture. We viewed the world in the same way,” he continued.

They also viewed history through the same lens. It had never occurred to him that there may be a different point of view.

“We got to know our new neighbors fairly well. They were real nice people from a nearby state. I hadn’t considered the possibility of significant differences,” Gan explained, right before he described a perspicuous moment of ideation.

It was a shift earned through observation, a moment from the past he seemed to pull easily from his pocket, as if it were a favorite, comfortable wallet, filled with personal historical currency. His eyes drifted from the present, as if a vehicle of time travel, allowing him to relive what he thought was going to be a typical barbeque with neighbors they were still getting to know.

“The daughter, about my age and in high school, had gone to school in the state they recently left. The younger daughter had been in our local school for a couple of years,” Gan said as he aptly painted through voice.

He went on brushing in details of the scene that had occurred some forty years earlier. Saying that as the conversing group relaxed in his backyard, it soon became clear that the sisters had been taught wholly different perspectives of the area’s history.

“Theirs was such a stark, contrasting assessment of the same historical period, that I was want to simply sit and observe the unfolding moment. I wondered at the divide and how it had occurred within the same family,” Gan illustrated with auditory, pictorial strokes.

He stood in the present, while reposing on his childhood patio, with the scent of barbeque seemingly-still-vivid and wafting through his memory, as if present.

“The moment and its people changed me,” Gan said as he phased into the now. “I understood, for the first time, that others, even living underneath the same roof, could view current and historical events very differently. And, that an everyday experience, seemingly insignificant in its initiation, could become a pivotal, life changing moment.”

“I just sat back, observed and listened; saying wow!” – Gan Nunnally

I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work, to achieve Realesation. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, to stir your heart and mind:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O6csyUhByBzo_Z50rJcY9w0uAonVelgE/view?usp=sharing