Give From Your Heart

“Don’t lend your service; give your service.”

- Justin Miller Cole

Give From Your Heart

There were thousands of lights all around.  The air was cold so I was especially happy to have a daughter on each arm as we walked through the town square.  There were so many people.  Everywhere we turned there were faces; smiling faces.

Then, in an instant, I was face to face with one of the strangers.  Just before our noses were about to collide I saw the gleam of his smile and heard, “Merry Christmas!”

“Yes,” I thought.  “It’s still cold outside.  I can see the fog of my breath lofting up through the surrounding lights.  But, my heart is much warmer now.”  It was enjoyable to be with people who were not just trying to purchase a memorable holiday season.  They were giving a memorable holiday season from their heart.

My friend Justin Miller Cole once said, “Don’t lend your service; give your service.”

As soon as he said it, I tilted my head to the right and said, “That’s one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard!”

There is a difference between giving for the sole purpose of getting something in return and the act of giving a heart-felt gift.  There is a difference between giving because of a perceived obligation and giving freely from the heart.  The challenge for each one of us is to take a long, deep look into our heart and determine what our true motives are.

When we lend something we expect to get it back.  Giving a gift means we make an offering without any expectation; we have no desire to receive anything in return.  It is the most meaningful form of giving.  There is nothing more powerful than freedom of choice.

Freedom of choice also means freedom of external expectation.  A person who is truly free understands that all people are free to do as they will.  I learned this truth while sitting at the feet of a former prisoner of war.  He said, “My captors took everything from me; my clothes, food, friends, family, warmth, and communication, but they could never take my freedom to choose!  They could never take my will unless I chose to give it to them.”

A gift from the heart, given freely, is a powerful and wonderful tool.  I hope you’ll make a choice to be a giver from the heart.  The twinkling lights of this season and those who were admiring them with me reminded me of this.

Never a lender be; give from your heart without expectation.  It will change your life as well as the world.

“He said if they couldn’t solve the problem themselves then he would solve it for them.”

- Brent Nay

Accumulated Life

My friend Brent is always talking about becoming a farmer.  It has been his lifelong dream.  He was telling me about it a couple of days ago.  I listened intently wondering what was so appealing to him.  But as I listened to his enthusiastically delivered stories it soon became clear to me.

“My friend had to milk the family cow every morning and every night until he went away to college.” He said.

As Brent continued on I could see the sparkle in his eyes and his passion was radiating from his entire face.

“He had two younger sisters who took over the milking chore when he went away.  Once, when he came home for a visit, his sisters were arguing at the dinner table over whose turn it was to milk.”

 When their father had had enough of the squabbling he simply looked up and said, “If you two can’t solve the problem I’ll solve it for you!” 

When Brent had finished this part of the story, my mind began to run through scenarios of how this father was going to solve the problem.  I quickly came up with three or four options and then waited in silence to hear how this father fulfilled his promise.  

“He went out the next day and bought another milk cow!” Brent finished.

I broke out laughing.  What a perfect solution!  It was nothing like the solutions I came up with!  What a man!  It caused my mind to reflect on another beloved ranching.

A rancher’s daughter went away to college and married a biologist.  The ranch was near Yellowstone National Park so there are hot streams that flow into the river there.  The new son-in-law would come every summer with his family and spend the entire time out in the streams and river taking measurements.  After years and years the father, rancher finally asked his son-in-law what he had been doing all these years.

The young man sat up proudly and said, “I’ve been taking water samples and studying what happens when the warm water runs into the cold river.”

The rough-leather-faced man stared back with disbelief as he heard the words escape the boy’s mouth.  “You’ve spent all these years trying to find that answer?” he finally replied.

“It makes the river water warmer!  All you had to do is ask me.  I would have told you!” 

Then the older man got up and walked away from the table shaking his head.

Yes.  I understand my friend Brent’s desire to be a farmer or rancher!  Nothing is better that good old down-to-earth common sense.  I like to think of it as earned wisdom.  It’s a valuable trait that we can develop over time; perhaps it’s compensation to those of us who have dimming vision, evaporating hair and sagging skin.  

Now that I think about it, I have way too much wisdom in my life now.  But, you’re not as old and worn out as I am, so please use all the time you have left to give the rest of us all the best guidance and insight you have.  I know I could use it!

A Rare Species

“You need to know what you want and then create goals to get there.”

- Kilee Johnson

A Rare Species

It isn’t often that I get to spend time with at least two of my daughters at once.  So, it’s refreshing for my heart and mind to have them come and spend live time with me.

It’s also inspirational for me to listen to them as they talk.  Such was the case last night as I spent time with Kilee and Annie on a drive.  We spent the whole time talking about what they were doing with their lives and what they were planning for their futures.  They have an “I am going to go out and get what I want” frame of mind that has become quite rare in today’s world.  Her approach was stirring so I wanted to share it with you.

Take the time to determine what you want in life.  Kilee explains it this way, “If you don’t know what you want to do with your life you’ll never be able to find it.”  It’s important to develop a clear vision of what you want so you’ll be able to formulate a detailed plan to follow.  She‘s become very good at seeing her vision and then breaking it down into small achievable steps.  It’s a skill she’s expanded as she’s grown older and she’s been able to add another complimentary skill that has magnified her ability to succeed.

Hold your vision as if you’re a bull dog!  If there is one thing I’ve learned by watching Kilee it’s this:  Once you grab a hold of your vision keep a tight grip on it and let it permeate your whole life.  When you do this it becomes easy to see the progress you’re making on a daily basis because you’re actively chasing your desires.  Doing anything else is a kin to sitting in a field and waiting for everything you want to just come to you without effort.  That’s one of the biggest mistakes I see people make in their life; it always leads to confusion, envy and bitterness every time.  Holding on to your vision like a bull dog will lead to life invigorated. 

Ask others you’re in relationship with to help.  “I would never begin to pursue my vision unless I spoke with the people in my network about it first.” Kilee affirmed.  Working alone can yield great results, but adding multiple points of view, connections and experience will increase your abilities exponentially.  If you doubt this just take a look at the most powerful network the world has ever known, the Internet.  

I remember wanting to grow Kentucky Coffee Trees from seed once.  I didn’t know anything about it so I sent an email to a professor who is one of the world’s experts, a man I had never met, and he was kind enough to respond and help me!  How cool is that?

Never hesitate to ask experts for help.  As you have seen from the example above sometimes you need to go outside of your personal network to get specific help.  You know what?  Most people are willing to help you even when they don’t know you!  If you’ll simply ask you will be constantly amazed at how kind and helpful strangers can be.  You’ll also increase the capacity of your network along with theirs.  The universe is forever expanding; expand with it.

Expanding life along with the universe is a rare thing amongst humans.  My daughters have shown me that it can be done, even if it is rare.  I hope you’ll join them and become a rare species yourself.

Living From Your Core

A pause on the other side of the earth

Living From Your Core

I was running late, as usual, on a Wednesday evening.  I needed to pick my daughter up from the downtown branch of Salt Lake Community College.  She was getting out of class early and had sent me a text message to let me know.  I was in my office on the phone with one of the banks I was working with for one of my Client’s.  I was feeling a little agitated because the negotiations were dragging on.  It seemed almost impossible to find the words I needed to make the person on the other end understand the point I was trying to make.

I was at my breaking point; almost ready to lose my temper.  So, I pulled myself back in and reminded myself that he was in another country on the other side of this planet.  All the information he had was in a small electronic file on his screen.  He knew nothing else.  It wasn’t his fault that the information was wrong.  I knew it was time to settle back into my core belief and work from there.

That’s all it took for the tone of the conversation to change.  The tension over the phone was released and we were able to have a new start and begin to make progress as soon as new, healing words escaped my lips.

“I really appreciate your kind efforts on my behalf.” I said.

There was a brief pause on the other side of the earth!

“Thank you sir;” was the reply.

“What do I need to do to make sure we’re working together so we can get the best result for both of us?” I continued.

From that moment on we were able to get over the barriers that were holding us back and we made the progress I had hoped for.  When we were about to end our conversation I said, “Thank you for your help.  I’m glad I was able to work with you.  I’ll remember you in my prayers.”

“Thank you again sir.  I hope to be able to talk with you again soon.”  Was his reply in quiet, heartfelt tones.

Now that I was finished with my phone call I sent a quick text to my daughter.  “On my way!”

I was still running late but, I was running on full knowing that I had done the good thing.  I always feel good when I receive additional evidence that operating from a position of love, because I want to, produces the best result.  Luckily, my daughter was operating from the same core belief when I picked her up.

“Sorry I’m late!” I said as she slid through the door of my car.

“That’s O.K.  I know you’re doing your best.

http://www.lynnbutterfield.com 

When you’re having a difficult day, stop for a moment and make sure you’re living from your core value of love; draw from its deep well within.  When you do, you’ll see circumstances change immediately and peace will enter your heart and the hearts of those around you.

The Sun Cycle Principle

"If you have just a little bit of hope left you can make great strides in your life.”

- Theo Fleury

The Sun Cycle Principle

I sat mesmerized as I listened to Theo recount his story.   He told me of how he had been hiding the tale of his being abused from more than twenty years and what a burden it had placed on his whole life.  He said, “Even though I had been successful player in the NHL I couldn’t bear to live with this secret.”  But, he was been able to change this through the use tools that are often overlooked in our society today.

He told me that just when he thought all was lost, that his life was over because he was going to end it, he called out in prayer.  As he did so he received a peaceful reassurance that if he would allow just a little bit of hope to radiate from his heart that he could regain his life and have happiness again.  With a desperate commitment to cling to this new particle hope he began to take small steps that would allow his hope to grow until his glimmer of hope became a fortress of faith.

Most of us can remember times when our faith and our hope seemed to have abandoned us.  I know I have had such times.  There have been many of us, who having faced such moments, have become broken and defeated.  And to anyone who is in such a position it will be helpful to know that at least one person has shown the rest of us the path to victory.  It is the path of hope, based upon the notion of human resilience.

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from setbacks, the ability to spring back quickly into shape after being stretched.  Life is designed to stretch each one of us.  It is a learning ground.  We are not meant to glide through life without challenge and growth.  And here’s what I’ve learned through observation and living; through sailing along and as well as feeling like too little butter being spread over too much toast.

Personal resilience seems to be one of the great separators in life.  Those who keep showing up each day to face life’s challenges find success, peace and happiness.  In other words, if you can develop the trait of resilience in your life you will be well served.  You will understand that what happened yesterday is not what will happen today; the pieces of the puzzle that baffled you in your past will present themselves in the different light of today and tomorrow.  I call this the “Sun Cycle Principle.”

The sun rises each day and allows us to begin the morning with its rays of hope as we venture into living.  Some days will shine brightly and others will feel gloomy and hard.  But, each day, no matter what its course, comes to an apparent end with the setting of the sun.  Yet, there is no victory of darkness!  The sun rises in triumph again to usher in hope and a model of resilience to all who will receive it.  Let this be your symbol of hope and beacon of encouragement in times of challenge and you’ll always be living in the brightness of a well lived life.

Your Gift to Humanity

“I looked around and saw that everything around me was made by people; bridges, houses, cars, everything.  Then I realized that the people who created all these things were no smarter than I was and my life was changed!”

- Steve Jobs

Your Gift to Humanity

When I was growing up I always believed that the adults around me had all the answers.  It seemed to me that they had to have all the answers because they were adults and were in charge.  So, I could hardly wait until I was all grown up so I would have all the answers too.  Then it happened, I woke up one day and discovered I was an adult.  But I also discovered something else as well.

I found that the challenges of my life didn’t end.  I didn’t magically have all the answers to life and the other adults around me didn’t have all the answers either.  They were just doing what I had been doing all along; they were making it up as they went along.  It was all quite disconcerting and I’ve spent the rest of my life living in a confused state; that is until this week when I heard this quote from Steve Jobs.

He said, “I looked around and saw that everything around me was made by people; bridges, houses, cars, everything.  Then I realized that the people who created all these things were no smarter than I was and my life was changed!”

There was a time in my life when I thought Steve Jobs was successful because he was lucky and I longed to have such luck.  But over the years I watched him have success after success and I soon realized that he had discovered something that I hadn’t!  Now I know that he most likely discovered many things that I haven’t and I feel lucky to now know one way that he viewed the world differently than me.

So now I’m going to stop my search for the adult that has all the answers and focus on refining my ability to do things I thought could only be accomplished by people that were smarter and more talented that I.  I know that doing this will propel me forward because Steve continued by saying, “Once you discover this it’s all down hill.”

Still, walking down hill takes effort and direction.  After all, if one never makes an effort to take the first step then there will be no movement, no success.   For me the hardest part is the first step but, what I’ve found is that when I take that step I can keep the momentum going and keep things moving along as I learn by doing.  And, when I need a little encouragement now I have a model to look toward; I can look at all the amazing creations of which Steve Jobs was a part of and I know that he followed the same process to amazing success and a life full of gifts given to humanity.  If you’ll do the same then we will be giving humanity the greatest gift available; the gift giving your best!