Messages

“Tom tells them they are elite gymnasts every day!” – Megan Marsden

Messages

Most of us don’t have the opportunity to get advice directly from someone who is the “best” at what they do.  But, a few nights ago that’s exactly what happened to me.  I was invited to an intimate gathering with Megan Marsden and Tom Farden after their team’s best performance of the season.  Megan and Tom are the Co-Head Coaches for University of Utah Gymnastics, the most winning gymnastics program in history.  Megan was speaking casually about her team with us when she said something of such significance I made a mental note of it and have been mulling it over for days now.

“Tom tells them they are elite gymnasts every day!” Megan said.

Here’s the thing.  The women on their team have already established themselves as some of the best gymnasts in the world.  Every one of them has received hundreds of metals and ribbons.  They have had thousands of people cheer for them and have left crowds of people in awe as they have performed.  They were recruited to be on a team with a legendary reputation and made the team!  So, why would Tom need to remind them of who they are every day?

Opposition!

You and I may not have a lot in common with these extraordinary people.  But we do share one basic life predicament with them.  We all face opposition.

Opposition is all around each one of us.  It is perhaps the one thing, above all else, that beats us down and allows us to accelerate our personal growth at the same time.  It is awful at times, exhilarating at other times, and never ending until the day we leave mortality.  We will never be able to fully shield ourselves from it.  That’s why Megan and Tom use the “Message Principle” to combat it.

The Message Principle is simple yet profound.  You see, we are believing creatures and, we begin to accept messages that are delivered to us often.  So, in order to live successfully and happily we need to hear at least as many good messages as negative messages.  Let me give you a personal example of messaging and how I recently became aware of how it is affecting me.

I was doing some work and made a mistake.  Because of Megan and Tom I noticed immediately, after my mistake, the message ringing in my mind.  “You’re such an idiot!”  I noticed this derogatory self-communication because it is far different from “you’re an elite gymnast!”  Of course I’m not an elite gymnast, but a negative message is just as damaging to me as a positive message is helpful to me.

In order to be helpful to ourselves we must be the recipients of as many positive messages as possible.  And, as we’ve discussed, positive messages come from within as well as from without.  This is something else we have in common with Utah’s elite gymnasts!

So, you and I can begin to do as elite gymnasts do.  We must practice and master the Message Principle.  Here are three suggestions.

First, begin to notice the self-messages you are delivering each moment. Don’t believe everything you say to yourself.  If your internal messages are not positive, gently correct them when they enter your mind. “No!  I’m not an idiot.  I simply made a small mistake!  I’m very good at correcting my mistakes.”

Second, listen to the messages those around you give.  I have a friend working with a horrible boss.  Her boss likes to give her negative messages in virtually every conversation.  It has made my friend’s live a misery!  But, it is something she can correct by simply, and respectfully, rejecting her boss’ negative messages by saying, “I did exactly as you asked and you approved the steps I took.  I did a great job!” When others aren’t treating you fairly, don’t let their negative message stand.  Correct negative messages sent and make them positive.

Third, if everyone around you provides you with negative messaging find new people to associate with.  People tend to become like the people they spend their time with.  Spend your life with people who make you feel good about yourself and are invested in helping you become the best person you can be!

Tom and Megan have taught me that the right messaging is critical to becoming the best.  I’ve found that when successful people tell me something of significance I should listen!  Get the message?