Transforming Relationships

“Did your family found Herriman?” – Nathan Brock

Transforming Relationships

I was just finishing a team meeting when Nathan came over to me.  Everyone else had left the room.

“Did your family found Herriman?”  He asked.

“Yes.”  I said.

“I think we might be related.” Nathan continued.

Then we talked for a while and as we talked, there was a transformation in our relationship.  In many ways, the relationship was the same.  The people were the same.  Our roles on the team were the same, but there was a change non-the-less.

You and I have relationship transforming opportunities presented to us often.  But, more often than not, we walk away from such without feeling any more connected than before.  So, what is it that allows us to transform our relationships from casual acquaintances to something more meaningful?

From an outside view, one might conclude that the reason Nathan’s relationship with me transformed into something deeper was the discovery of common blood.  But that isn’t the case.  I’m related to many people I know and I still haven’t deepened a bond with them.  So, ancestry sharing is not necessarily transformative.  Yet, the answer can still be found by looking a little deeper in to my interaction with Nathan.  I think it reveals a pattern you and I can follow.

First, Nathan and I freely put ourselves in a position to have regular, meaningful interaction.  We chose to focus on working together to help others in a structured way.  It’s the combination of focus & structure that allow for change to occur.

Second, our work together is based on more than a “hope” of getting another person into our personal network.  We recognize that every person is working with the objective of helping someone else move forward more rapidly in growing his or her business.  People working together for the benefit of another will always grow a relationship deeper than two people focusing on their own relationship.

Third, the way you give of yourself will cause other, like-minded people to be attracted to a long-term relationship with you.  When I’m in Cooperative Venturing Team Meetings I always pay close attention to what other members of the team are saying.  It allows me to learn how they think, what they know and who they are.  Needless to say, there are some people who impress, teach, and inspire others.  Then there are those whose participation does just the opposite.  Giving your best to others will always reveal your finest personal qualities.

Finally, Nathan’s kindness in revealing our familial connection opened the door for us to have a meaningful exchange.  I learned a lot about him, his life, his family, where he lives and what he hopes to achieve.  Had he not allowed himself to become openly vulnerable, an invisible, yet real barrier would have continued to exist.  Sharing information and personal insights demonstrate your capacity to become more than a one-dimensional acquaintance.

Every one of us can transform our lives beyond one-dimensional acquaintanceships.  We can all have special, rewarding relationships.  All it takes is a little structure, a focus on helping other people, and giving your best so you can reveal your personal qualities while sharing yourself in an honest & open way.  Are you interested in transforming your relationships?