Nothing to Lose

“I feel as if I received a little piece of me that was missing.” – Tanya Beall

Nothing to Lose

The snow was falling outside of my car window as I drove along UT-224 to attend a holiday celebration with a large number of collogues.  It was dark enough outside and the road was icy enough that many people would be worried about the possibility of losing something, if not everything of importance to them; especially the chance of losing their life.  But, not me!

“Money falling from the sky!”  I said audibly to myself as I slowed and took a turn onto Ute Blvd. into the area many of us refer to “New Town.”

The blustery weather had lightened my mood; not that it needed to be boosted any more, as I was already excited to spend time with affable and cheery friends.  After all, the vast majority of us had enjoyed a profitable year.  Now, the great increase of snow made the prospects of a very lucrative winter almost palpable.  The combination caused my heart to seemingly push through my chest as I pulled into a parking stall and opened the car door to walk across the pavement to join my friends in the designated restaurant.

As soon as I walked through the glass door two of my friends greeted me warmly with open arms and warm smiles.

“How could the evening get any better than this?”  I thought to myself as I walked further into the crowded eatery.  Little did I know then, that it was about to get a lot better as a result of an unexpected conversation with my friend Tanya Beall.

Sometimes life’s most important moments come as a complete surprise.  And, on this occasion, Tanya gave me two such surprises.  The first was our mutual amazement to see each other that evening.  The second, was Tanya’s heartwarming telling of her astonishing, story of self-discovery.

“I met my biological father a few months ago!” Tanya said to me as we stood talking together, tucked away at the edge of a serving table.

“I didn’t know you were adopted!”  I replied.

“I wasn’t.”  She continued.  “The only father I knew was my dad.  He raised me since I was very small.  But, I always felt as if I was missing a tiny piece of myself.  My mom had always told me I had another biological father, but my dad was so great, that I didn’t feel as if I needed anyone else.  Then a couple of years ago friends and family began to encourage me search for my father.  I was afraid!”

Who wouldn’t be? 

By this time, I was completely entranced and couldn’t wait to hear the rest of her story.

She went on to tell me that one of her friends did the work of finding her father and his contact information.

“It was the hardest call I’ve ever made!”  Tanya said.

It was so hard that she got cold feet.  That’s when her Dad said, “What have you go to lose?  Whatever happens you’ll still have me!”

That was all she needed to hear.  She made the call.  She and her Father talked.  They met.  They spent time together with his extended family in a grand process of unification.

“It was wonderful!”  Tanya said as her eyes glistened with moisture.

Moist snow was still falling outside while Tanya and I conversed and enjoyed a holiday celebration with a large number of collogues.  It was dark enough outside, but Tanya’s eyes and heart were radiating brightness throughout the restaurant.

“Many people would be worried about the possibility of losing something, if not everything of importance to them, if they called an estranged relative to seek a new, expanded relationship,” I thought to myself as she finished her tale; but, not Tanya!”

My eyes glanced outdoors, toward the sparkle of snow, glinting as a result of the light of the bright lamps, lighting the sidewalk outside and I realized that it had begun to mimic the effervesce of Tanya’s eyes, right in front of me, as she said, “I feel as if I received a little piece of me that was missing.”

“Love falling from the sky!”  I said audibly to myself as Tanya and I finished our conversation and parted to go converse with others.

Thank goodness for the love of two fathers who encouraged their one, brave daughter to reach beyond her fear of loss!  The depth of their love created elevated familial love, able to grow much deeper, just as the snow falling that night was piling deep atop the Wasatch Mountains embracing us.

Guided Tour

People aren’t born a success.

Guided Tour

It wasn’t too early in the morning, yet it was still intensely foggy.  So, I left the house a little early, just in case I needed the extra time.  Everything was going swimmingly, until I saw an unexpected red light, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, as I approached a major traffic signal just south of I-80.  I slammed on my brakes!

“Whoa!”  I said to myself, feeling very lucky that there wasn’t ice on the highway.

I continued driving on, a little shaken, but just fine, to meet with members of my community of mentors, the Cooperative Venturing Network.  I was to participate as a panel member at VentureCapital.org’s offices in downtown Salt Lake City.  This anticipated meeting was geared to offer insight into how members of the group make a difference in the economy as well as to individual businesses by participating with this venerable, non-profit organization.  And, we were hoping to convince others to donate their talents and experience to help other business owners with us.  After all, we’ve learned that the more experience, diversity and help we associate with, the more effectively we can help, making all of us better-off.  During this panel presentation, discussion and process, members of the audience asked two revealing questions that made me think about life in general and how each of us can do a little better.

The first question was, are successful entrepreneurs are born?  Or, can a person be taught how to create a successful business?

This is a variation of a question you and I may have asked ourselves on occasion.  For example, sometimes I look at the amazing accomplishments of others and ask, “How did they do that?”  Then, I feel a little small in comparison.  Perhaps you’ve had the same experience?

As I answered that direct question, I had no way of knowing that a coming question would be so interconnected.

“We believe,” I responded, “That entrepreneurs aren’t necessarily born.  Over the past thirty years we’ve been able to transfer the knowledge of how to create a scalable, successful business to others seeking to learn.”

This were the words that lead to the other question I told you could benefit all of us.  Here’s a synopsis of the question and its asker. 

A young woman stood up in the back of the room and talked about how she had been a little discouraged because there were not enough successful women entrepreneurs for her to learn from.  In short, she was wondering how she could find someone to mentor her toward success.

Have you ever been wondering if you could find the perfect mentor to guide you through the most important aspects of your life?

This time I wasn’t the one to answer her question.  It was my friend Tara Spalding, President of Hen House, who answered her.

“Have you asked someone to mentor you?”   Tara questioned.  “The biggest complement you can give someone is to ask them to pass their time, knowledge and expertise to you.  You’ll be surprised by who will be willing to mentor you if you approach them appropriately.”

I listened to the conversation and thought, “Wow, mentoring is like getting a guided tour to success!”

By this time, it wasn’t too late in the afternoon, and most of the fog had lifted.  The meeting ended, so I left and started walking down a very familiar sidewalk toward the parking garage to retrieve my car.  Everything was going swimmingly because my thought process had not ended!  I realized that we all seemingly walk the same, broad and well-worn path.  Yet, we all have varied experience and knowledge!  I metaphorically slammed on my brakes, at this thought!

“Whoa!”  I said to myself.  Every one of us can have the experience of living life as if we’re on a guided tour, if we’ll simply reach out to others around us.  The ones that have different, or more experience than we do.  If we’ll do so, and be willing to help each other, we’ll all be feeling very lucky and find a lot more success in every aspect of our lives!

Work Like a Dog!

A couple of dogs in Bryant Park

Work Like a Dog!

There is a gray-granite fountain near the edge of Bryant Park.  I was sitting on the edge of the fountain, feeling the cold stone underneath me.  The cool helped to revive me after more than one half of a day of walking through the city.  This was my chance to rest a bit, while still participating in one of our family holiday traditions; purchasing tree ornaments in the artisan stalls at New York City’s Bryant Park.

On this gray, yet still quite warm, day in late November, the park was brimming with people.  Some were shopping, some were ice skating and some were resting at the fountain with my son-in-law Ren McKnight and me.  Just a few were sitting with the two us on the edge of the gurgling fountain.  And, there were more than just people at the fountain.

Two cute dogs came and sat next to us.  They were on leashes, connected to the people in their family.  It was a family outing for the dogs as well.  And, I was hoping they’d pay a little attention to me as well, since I was missing my own dog who was staying in his Stansbury Park hotel.  My desire led me to reach my right hand out, ever so gently, so the younger, short-haired, tan and white canine could give me the sniff test.

I could feel his cold nose against my hand.  But, he was not quickly won over.  He had more options to explore, some offering tasty morsels.

“Thanks for being kind to my dogs.”  The female member of the dog’s family said to an older couple who had taken a slight detour from the stream of swarming people so they could stoop to greet the dogs.

“Some people push them away.  Some say nasty things and are just plain mean!”  She continued.

The older couple listened empathetically and continued their gentle caresses.  Then, after a few more strokes, they straightened their backs and were immediately swallowed back into the continuous stream of humanity.

I swallowed hard at that moment too, because the younger dog immediately walked over and wrapped his torso around my right leg.  His nose was also nuzzling the inside of my left leg.  I reached out in response to rub his back with my hands.

“Looks like he’s found another friend!”  Said the woman on the other end of his leash.

We sat like that together like that for a few moments as I remembered a poem, by Marie Howe.

Oh, the coming-out-of-nowhere when. Nothing happens

No what-have-I-to-do-today-list

Maybe             halt a moment

The rush of traffic stops.

The whir of I should be, I should be, I should be slows

to silence,

the white cotton curtains hanging still.

Then soon, after rehearsing Marie’s poem in my mind, life’s whir rushed back to my consciousness, as the dogs and their family members retreated from the fountain’s edge.  The halt of the moment ended.  My hands were empty again and the cool of the day’s late afternoon began to push its notice through every part of my body.  Ren and I got up so we could also rejoin humanity’s stream.  My thoughts and legs straightened as I stood near streams edge.

“I need to work like a dog, more!”  I said to myself as I still relished the halt moment gifted to me.

There is a gray-granite fountain near the edge of Bryant Park.  I was sitting on the edge of the fountain, feeling the cold stone underneath me.  The cool helped to revive me after more than one half of a day of walking through the city.  This was my chance to rest a bit, while still participating in one of our family holiday traditions; purchasing tree ornaments in the artisan stalls at Bryant Park in New York City. And, my soul was restored by the work of a dog. 

It was the work of a dog, a dog who seemingly came out of nowhere, banished my what-have-I-to-do-today-list, halted the moment, and stopped the rush of life’s traffic.