Nothing to Lose

“I feel as if I received a little piece of me that was missing.” – Tanya Beall

Nothing to Lose

The snow was falling outside of my car window as I drove along UT-224 to attend a holiday celebration with a large number of collogues.  It was dark enough outside and the road was icy enough that many people would be worried about the possibility of losing something, if not everything of importance to them; especially the chance of losing their life.  But, not me!

“Money falling from the sky!”  I said audibly to myself as I slowed and took a turn onto Ute Blvd. into the area many of us refer to “New Town.”

The blustery weather had lightened my mood; not that it needed to be boosted any more, as I was already excited to spend time with affable and cheery friends.  After all, the vast majority of us had enjoyed a profitable year.  Now, the great increase of snow made the prospects of a very lucrative winter almost palpable.  The combination caused my heart to seemingly push through my chest as I pulled into a parking stall and opened the car door to walk across the pavement to join my friends in the designated restaurant.

As soon as I walked through the glass door two of my friends greeted me warmly with open arms and warm smiles.

“How could the evening get any better than this?”  I thought to myself as I walked further into the crowded eatery.  Little did I know then, that it was about to get a lot better as a result of an unexpected conversation with my friend Tanya Beall.

Sometimes life’s most important moments come as a complete surprise.  And, on this occasion, Tanya gave me two such surprises.  The first was our mutual amazement to see each other that evening.  The second, was Tanya’s heartwarming telling of her astonishing, story of self-discovery.

“I met my biological father a few months ago!” Tanya said to me as we stood talking together, tucked away at the edge of a serving table.

“I didn’t know you were adopted!”  I replied.

“I wasn’t.”  She continued.  “The only father I knew was my dad.  He raised me since I was very small.  But, I always felt as if I was missing a tiny piece of myself.  My mom had always told me I had another biological father, but my dad was so great, that I didn’t feel as if I needed anyone else.  Then a couple of years ago friends and family began to encourage me search for my father.  I was afraid!”

Who wouldn’t be? 

By this time, I was completely entranced and couldn’t wait to hear the rest of her story.

She went on to tell me that one of her friends did the work of finding her father and his contact information.

“It was the hardest call I’ve ever made!”  Tanya said.

It was so hard that she got cold feet.  That’s when her Dad said, “What have you go to lose?  Whatever happens you’ll still have me!”

That was all she needed to hear.  She made the call.  She and her Father talked.  They met.  They spent time together with his extended family in a grand process of unification.

“It was wonderful!”  Tanya said as her eyes glistened with moisture.

Moist snow was still falling outside while Tanya and I conversed and enjoyed a holiday celebration with a large number of collogues.  It was dark enough outside, but Tanya’s eyes and heart were radiating brightness throughout the restaurant.

“Many people would be worried about the possibility of losing something, if not everything of importance to them, if they called an estranged relative to seek a new, expanded relationship,” I thought to myself as she finished her tale; but, not Tanya!”

My eyes glanced outdoors, toward the sparkle of snow, glinting as a result of the light of the bright lamps, lighting the sidewalk outside and I realized that it had begun to mimic the effervesce of Tanya’s eyes, right in front of me, as she said, “I feel as if I received a little piece of me that was missing.”

“Love falling from the sky!”  I said audibly to myself as Tanya and I finished our conversation and parted to go converse with others.

Thank goodness for the love of two fathers who encouraged their one, brave daughter to reach beyond her fear of loss!  The depth of their love created elevated familial love, able to grow much deeper, just as the snow falling that night was piling deep atop the Wasatch Mountains embracing us.