Monday's Warm Cocoa, 25 November 2024, "Be Quiet & Start Now"

 

“Telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen.” – Derek Sivers

Be Quiet & Start Now

“Think of your biggest personal goal,” Derek directed. “You've got to feel this to learn it.”

Then Derek suggested using imagination. “Tell someone what you’re going to do. How does it make you feel? Imagine their congratulations.”

“Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud?” He asked.  “Don't you feel one step closer already, 

like it's already becoming part of your identity?”

Then, Derek burst the happy feeling.

“Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut, because that good feeling now will make you less likely to do it.” Derek declared.

It’s not uncommon to have days where you wonder how to keep going. It’s easy to feel like your challenges are too great. But, success is built on three things: resilience, consistency, and an unshakable belief in curated purpose.

Let’s start with the understanding that building personal resilience isn’t about avoiding the setbacks you will inevitably face. It’s about bouncing back stronger. So, how do you do that?

First, learn from your failures by treating every setback as a learning opportunity. Ask yourself, what can I do differently next time?

Second, stay adaptable in our constantly changing world. Flexibility is your greatest asset to cultivate this trait. And, while becoming adaptable you’ll need to practice lots of self-compassion. That means becoming good at forgiving yourself for mistakes and moving on.

Being able to move forward means focusing on consistency, the next key to gratifying success. What you do every day defines your long-term outcomes. So, build routines to help yourself. Here are some suggestions.

Start your day with gratitude: Spend five minutes reflecting on what you’re thankful for. Then, set and rank objectives to complete during the day. Toward day’s end, reflect on what went well and what you can improve before preparing your schedule and intentions for tomorrow. But, this isn’t the end.

Finish by unplugging and recharging: That means turning off notifications and prioritize rest so you can be ready to keep going. You’ll also want to remember that finding gratification isn’t a sprint. It requires constant attention to some attributes you may not currently have. The good news here is that you can develop needed characteristics over time.

Cultivate positivity. Positivity isn’t about ignoring challenges, it’s about approaching them with a solution-oriented mindset. A positive outlook attracts friends, builds stronger relationships, helps you weather tough times, and encourages a learning mind. 

Develop a growth mindset. Having a growth mindset can really blunt the impact of hard times. A person with a growth mindset believes that skills and success are developed through effort and learning. This means constantly seeking opportunities to improve.

“Think of your biggest personal goal,” Derek said. “You've got to feel this to learn it.”

The impact of quietly creating gratifying success is built on simple things. Be quiet and start now.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1c2Ma9iKHAj7HZ3lb6mKIvI_0UEh2KbQY/view?usp=sharing

Monday's Warm Cocoa, 18 November 2024, "Plenty of Good"

See beauty in the midst of the trees

Plenty of Good

It was toward the end of a long day. No. That is not right. It was nearing the end of a very long four-and-a-half-month process. A process originally envisioned to be completed within a couple of weeks kept continuing. And one thing was sure. Its end was about to evaporate like a drop of water on a searing cooktop.

“This isn’t lining up right,” Manuel said. “Please come and look at it.”

He was right. The pattern in the carpet was not lining up right. Suddenly, the last leg of this remodeling project was not as simple as everyone involved thought it would be.

The hard-working-crew sat and kneeled on the carpet they were not longer installing. Their faces showed disappointment and fatigue. After all, they had been working quickly and efficiently with the hope of finishing the job so they could begin their weekend. Instead of feeling good about a job well done, they were all speaking on their phones quietly, explaining why they weren’t on their way home.

“I try to do good work,” Manuel said. “I don’t want to do work for someone else that I wouldn’t do for myself.”

It was another delay on a project that had experienced delay after delay, extra costs and now potentially another cost increase. Everyone in the room looked and felt doleful.

At times such as these it can be easy to look at all of the encountered problems as if lost in a vast forest. Where trees tower over and dominate the whole picture. Yet, they are not the whole forest and are certainly not the whole for those with the ability to direct their focus. 

Here’s a simple secret: The more you recognize and celebrate infinite good, the less overawed you’ll be. Take moments to note the often unnoticed, hidden, beautiful and positive in all. Are you seeing the beautiful pond, the vibrant pink flowers and the lush green moss in the midst all those trees? When you cultivate your ability to do so, you’ll begin to see that good is everywhere, for those who have the developed the proficiency to see it.

Ask yourself a simple question when feeling lost in the trees of disappointment or discouragement. What good has come from this?

Manuel could have pressed his crew to complete their work regardless of the less than desirable outcome. It would have allowed them to be paid in full and begin their weekend on time. They could have all walked away without giving their integrity a thought.

Think of the compliments or words of gratitude you could share with such people around you, those offering good to you freely. We often downplay, overlook or downright ignore this kind of generously given good. We’re so focused on the negative (due to the brain’s negativity bias). But acknowledging the good things can remind you to have a more realisticoutlook. You, like everyone else, receive unique gifts of graciousness constantly.

We all receive plenty of good.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1c2Ma9iKHAj7HZ3lb6mKIvI_0UEh2KbQY/view?usp=sharing

Monday's Warm Cocoa, "Restoration" 11 November 2024

“Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion, you’re wasting your life.” – Jackie Robinson

Restoration

There was a lot of damage as a result of yesterday’s storm.  Some homes were gone. Some were split in half. Tree branches were strewn about as if they were from a game of Pick-Up Sticks. Roads were washed away. Water systems were breached. Bridges, once standing strong had been swept from their moorings. Driving along, through never ending damaged scenery was bleak. Until one memorable scene changed the perspective.

Coming around a tight mountain turn, the car’s windshield framed a gravel drive punctuated with two figures. One of these figures was a young man with his hands gripping a rake. The other was his black, dancing dog.

The black dancing dog was darting side to side, front to back, reaching and snapping; smiling all the while. He knew his companion was there to work. He could see the rake being flung forward and dragging gravel & dirt over to fill the deep cuts the storm had created in the drive. Yet, the dog wisely turned the work into play while encouraging his companion to do the same.

Yet, his buddy continued to resist the friendly invitation. The man was resolved to focus solely on restoring the driveway underfoot.

Jackie Robinson, one of the great players of America’s Game never forgot the joy of playing ball while working. He once said, “Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion, you’re wasting your life.”

Jackie Robinson and the black dancing dog both knew they were there, on the field, seeking success in their work. Yet, they also recognized the value of play, seeking joy outside of the grandstand, at the same time. On the other hand, others, like this jovial-dog’s companion, continue to slog along with their focus on completing the task at hand without joy.

Work without entwined play will get the job done, but it never provides restoration to one’s soul.

There was a lot of damage as a result of a major storm the day before.  Some homes were gone. Some were split in half. Tree branches were strewn about as if they were from a game of Pick-Up Sticks. Roads were washed away. Water systems were breached. Bridges, once standing strong had been swept from their moorings. Driving along, through never ending damaged scenery was bleak. Until one memorable scene changed the perspective.

One jovial, black dancing dog changed the work of restoring a damaged driveway into play. At the same time, he offered restoration to his companion’s soul.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

"The Secret of Getting Ahead," Monday's Warm Cocoa, 4 November 2024

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain

The Secret of Getting Ahead

“I lost my wife not long ago,” Neil explained.

The emotion was still raw. It was interwoven with his voice, as if its threads had become imbedded through the use of a loom.

“We’ve been coming here for years. It is our vacation place.”

He didn’t need to explain, but he felt the need to. 

“I understand how life can change in a flash, since the unexpected passing of my wife. So, I’m not going to wait to live my dreams any longer. I need to be better at that.”

It was clear that these were not just empty words. Words shouted into a deep canyon only to echo back to the caller. Because, he took the moment to do a little, valuable teaching about secrets you and I can use as well.

“To live an exceptional life,” Neil said, “Don’t tell anyone about how great you are. Just be sure to decide what you really want out of life, things such as experiences, work, relationships, and health. Then, systematically create goals you can weave with your purpose.”

He went on to say, “Maintain your humility. And, don’t be the most interesting person in the room. Rather, be the most interested person in the room.”

Neil then veered off thread to talk about his secrets to sharing success. “See others as collaborators. Be fair. Be straight forward. Be authentic.”

Neil believes goals and their succeeding success give a person courage. “If a person follows true desire, they’ll provide powerful reasons to reach them,” He says. “When you don’t live with the guiding power of specified goals, life will feel as if you’re running up and down a football field without ever scoring any points or wins!”

Here are some other things Neil shared spontaneously, “first, be sure to document your goals by making them tangible.” 

That’s why he and I were talking together. One of his goals is to create cherished memories with his two daughters. The vacation home he’s in the process of purchasing, in the place he loves to vacation, will be their place, a natural way to facilitate fulfillment of this goal, to make it a tangible part of their lives. It will become the actualized principle of this deeply desired goal of making cherished memories with the important people in his life.

“Be sure to seek the principle behind your goals,” Neil said as he was about to launch into the climax of his secret of getting get ahead.

“Stop saying you’ll be happy, when! Find new ways to get something you really want. Think about it often. And, find ways to learn some skills you’ve never mastered before. Try new things. Look forward to the future. Be part of where the world is going,” He said without taking another breathe. 

“I lost my wife not long ago,” Neil said before sharing the secret of getting ahead.

The emotion was still raw. It was woven with his voice, as if its threads had become imbedded through the use of a loom. He’s not waiting to live his dreams any longer!

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing