Doing Right by Being Right

Chuck McCown

Being Right by Doing Right

I got a message from my friend Chuck, “I want to list my factory building for sale or for lease.”

I was grateful that he would desire to work with me, but I was also a little concerned.  You see, Chuck has been dealing with some very difficult challenges over the past couple of years.  I was hoping his request was not the result of a deepening of those challenges and scheduled a time for us to meet.  We soon sat down to talk and I was filled with relief.

Of course, we talked about his building, but we also talked about his personal situation.  My heart was filled with peace as I listened to him describe his path forward.  There was not one moment of anger or disillusion as he spoke.  He had made the decision to live according to his most cherished core values and his strength of character radiated encouragement to me.

I had spent the entire week working with unreasonable people so Chuck’s encouragement was most welcome.  And now, his example was also most appreciated.  His example allowed me to realize that I had been approaching my current challenge in the wrong way!

I had been focused on the fact that I was right!  But this fact was of no consequence to my antagonist.  My conversation with Chuck awakened me to the real issue before me.  My real choice was not one of right and wrong according to reason and law.  I had to choose to live in harmony with my own deep and defining core values or stay stuck and embittered by being right.

One of my deepest, governing values is based on the principle of allowing others to choose their own path, make their own decisions.  When they do so I openly accept their choice and hold no residual malice.  I had been violating my own conscience for a full week and it was causing me to feel awful inside.  Now I knew my internal discomfort was the result of suppressing my own values behind a shield of being right.

Being focused on being right did not allow me to see the larger picture of doing what was right.  The right thing to do is to always live a life true to one’s own best and deepest core values.  So, having my compass firmly reset, I made the decision to be right by doing the right thing.

We are, all of us, constantly making decision as to how to respond to others.  In doing so, asking the simple question, “Am I just proving my self to be right, or am I doing right?” will always allow you and me to feel at peace within ourselves while pursuing peace with others.  Be right by doing right.