"Harmony" Monday's Warm Cocoa 12.1.2025

"A Marshallese Man Singing.”

Harmony

The vestibule of the large building was filled with people. I was one of them and I didn’t know any of them sitting, waiting there with me. I didn’t expect to as I was there as a favor for a friend. Such situations can be stressful! You know, sitting with strangers surrounding you in a strange place.  Waiting!

I’ve never been particularly good at waiting. Not in a doctor’s office (one of the reasons I rarely see one), not in airports, and now that I’m thinking about it as a reflection, I’ve come to realize that it is clearly not something I like to do, period! But, in this case I was happier to do so because I was helping someone important to me. As fate would have it, it turns out though, that there was another reason to like waiting on this one occasion.

That reason turned out to be an old man, with silver hair, a color matching mustache, and just between caramel-cocoa-bean colored skin. He wasn’t the only one with similar features with me in that lobby last week. Most of the others waiting with me were also Marshallese as it turns out. I was the odd person in the hotchpotch assembly of waiters there. Yet, this man stood out from all others waiting with us there.

He stood out because of, what appeared to be one of his personal and natural traits. He was gently, quietly singing traditional Marshallese songs. His tones were sweet, heartfelt and soothing. So much so that the bothered nature of my waiting-disorder quickly melted away. The entire waiting room had become peaceful because of him. All of the faces around the room reflected his invited contentment. Each face matched my own. Suddenly, sitting with strangers was replaced with commonality.

We had a common feeling of serenity just because one person in the room, the “singing man” was able to remove cultural differences and angst by gifting us with what could be thought of as a lullaby. Yet, it was a serenade that too quickly ended.

The big, double doors just to my left abruptly opened. Those doors ushered in the end of singing man’s induced trance. His voice was stilled and I was startled to know that our waiting had too soon ended. I was sad when the music of the moment had ceased. So, when the musical man walked near me I came up to him.

“Your singing is beautiful,” I said in gratitude with an outstretched hand of friendship.

He accepted my hand and my thanks with his warm caramel eyes gifting me amity in return. Or was his gift harmony?

Yes. The singing man’s gift is harmony!

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

"Remembering" Monday's Warm Cocoa 11.24.2025

"Remember your why.” – Lucas Treat

Remembering

Every Wednesday, 1 Million Cups provides a supportive, inclusive space for entrepreneurs and their communities to gather and connect; where they can work through business challenges and identify opportunities. During “Cups” people discover business solutions and engage with their local community. They’ve done so since the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation developed and began the 1 Million Cups network across America in 2012.

Since then participants have worked toward economic stability, mobility, and prosperity together in community. By working together, participants champion ideas and support solutions designed to improve education, boost entrepreneurship, and help communities and individuals thrive. It also opens the way for personal, lasting friendships to form.

Lucas Treat is the perfect example of such business-to-friendship success. He began attending 1 Million Cups as a small business owner. He started a small, on-line camera resale company about five years ago and presented his fledgling company and concept on one Wednesday morning, so he could receive feedback and ideas as to how to make his company more successful.

After that, he volunteered to video broadcast his local chapter meeting on Facebook, so those not able to attend in person could still benefit and participate virtually. Today, he continues to volunteer as a member of his local organizing team. He is a faithful attendee, participant, friend to many, and encourager to the one.

Being an encourager to the one means he has formed individual friendships within the 1 Million Cups community over several years and he seeks to make a personal connection with those friends each week.

“How are things going?” Lucas said as he purposefully approached one such friend after last week’s meeting had ended.

“It’s going ok,” his friend replied, in a voice weighed down with worry and filled with angst.

That worry and angst was not missed nor overlooked by Lucas. After all, one of the traits that makes Lucas successful in his business is the same trait that allows him to form successful, long-term friendships. He focuses on the people he lives and works with.

Lucas takes the time to learn about the people surrounding him. He practices active friendship. He does so in a friendly, interested manner. Those that know him know he cares about the details of their lives. This interaction was not an exception.

“Do you remember the reason you decided to do the work you’re doing?” Lucas responded with his characteristic, disarming smile. “Remember your why,” He continued.

His smile was absorbed by his friend, as was his short, poignant advice.

“Thanks Lucas,” the friend said. “I’m going to spend some time remembering.”

Then the friend asked Lucas how his wife and toddler were doing. Because, he reciprocally, genuinely cares about Lucas. I could see that in his response. I could also see its impact on Lucas.

The impact and skill of remembering goes beyond one person and one moment. It is a vital part of creating and maintaining continuous joy, as well as successful relationships.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Internal Drive, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 17 November 2025

“She and her example created my internal drive!” – Carol Silva Moralez

Internal Drive

“Excellerate Foundation and Walton Family Foundation joined leaders from local academic institutions and major employers to connect the region's untapped workforce to skilled positions in high demand industries,” Carol Silva Moralez said as she began to talk about the non-profit she leads.

The Upskill NWA mission is to connect under-employed and under-represented non-traditional students with their dream careers. They provide access to education, offer coaching and mentoring to navigate the educational system, connect individuals with essential “wrap-around services,” and ultimately help them to secure higher-wage jobs with healthcare partners. They change lives!

Since 2022, 373 people have enrolled and 88% percent of enrollees and stayed in the program. 87 participants have graduated since 2022 and 90% of graduates have been placed with employers. But, perhaps the most impressive program result is that graduates have secured 132% percent increase in household income!

Carol’s presentation had ignited inspiration, causing me to wondered after her personal path and its impact on this remarkable professional and community success. So, I sought to have a quiet, personal conversation with her following her formal presentation.

“You seem to have a very personal connection with your work,” I offered.

“Yes,” Carol responded. “For much of my life my mother was single and struggling to provide for us. I watched as she studied each night after a long day of work. Then, I watched her get a new position as a result!”

She went on to say that her mother’s hard work set a valuable example for her and when her mom got that new job, as a result of her extended effort at night, it was a major milestone for the whole family. But, that wasn’t the end of what her mother wrote on Carol’s internal drive.

“My mom kept working to improve her skills,” Carol said with tears starting to build in her eyes. “I watched her walk across the stage to get her bachelor’s degree when she was fifty-five!”

By this time Carol’s tears were running down her face as she re-lived this momentous life-changing experience.

“You’d think that was the biggest moment I shared with my mom, but it isn’t. She never stopped guiding me. She knew me better than anyone. She knew me better than I knew myself.”

Carol’s mom kept telling her she was a teacher every time Carol shared a conquered educational or professional milestone with her.

“I graduated from college. I got my first management position with a major global business. Then, I was hired to run a whole division at that corporation. My mother was proud of me, but she kept saying she knew I was a teacher and she could not be prouder,” Carol explained.

“When I received this position as CEO at Upskill, I knew that this is the teaching and mentoring my mother knew I was meant to do. Even though my mother is no longer with us, I know she’d tell me this is my purpose! After all, she and her example created my internal drive!”

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Goodness Currents, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 1.10.2025

“I just feel like I’m working really hard and nothing is happening.”

Goodness Currents

The conversation started on the telephone. It lasted for more than an hour. I could hear the worry and frustration. I could also feel her pain as my friend described the background of circumstances she faced.

After we ended the call, to my surprise, the conversation shifted to text.

“Do you have some have some time?” 

I responded with a quick, “yes.”

Her next text asked, “You don’t think I’m doing a terrible job, do you?”

“No! I think you’re doing a great job! You have two great kids. They’re happy and health and you’re well respected professionally,” I typed back.

Then her fingers stroked, “I just feel like I’m working really hard and nothing is happening.”

“That’s the way life is. It is, often, as if you’re fighting to stay above water and not making progress. Then, suddenly you find yourself surprised, almost magically, by being pushed along in a stream of amazing progress. When this happens it’s as if you had nothing to do with it. But you do! You’re doing very well. Just keep up doing the small things every day and you’ll find real progress when you least expect it,” were the words tapped by my fingers in response.

When my fingers came to a rest I thought, “how I wish I understood these seemingly invisible currents of life.”

Even though I don’t fully understand them and can’t see these currents with my eyes, or map them on a piece of paper or computer, I see the results of their existence regularly. I see their impact along my own path as well as on the path of others. Just as in the life of this comfort-seeking-friend. 

Life currents seemingly serve as a principal pathway of exchange both individually as well as with groups of people and even cultures. And, these currents are often strongly constrained by individual decisions and actions. They can even be noticeably obstructed when a large group of people decide to alter their offered goodness. Such obstructions show up throughout the history of our world. I’m sure if you take a moment you’ll be able to identify monumentally negative shifts of these currents locally and globally.

Counter balancing positive shifts are often more difficult to identify. But, if you reflect within you’ll be able to identify helping currents throughout your own history. Once recognize them and keep practicing, you’ll find yourself being able to actually feel life’s invisible, helping current pulling you along.

Even when life is not going well at a moment, the practice of identifying goodness currents will provide you with reassurance of their continuous, helping hand. That assurance will propel you along with a knowledge that goodness is on its way.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Super Hero Help, Monday's Warm Cocoa 11.3.2025

“My wife called me asking for help.” – Chris Hobgood

Super Hero Help

Chris Hobgood just got new neighbors. They’re so new that he and his family don’t really know them yet. They simply haven’t had enough time to get to know them since they recently moved in. But, that didn’t stop them from being great neighbors a couple of days prior to Halloween.

“We’re going to dress as ‘Scooby-Doo Where Are You!’ characters,” Chris said as he described how members of his family, including their three dogs, were going to dress to impersonate characters from the beloved late-sixties and onward cartoon series. The series features a group of “kids” who solve mysteries while helping others.

“Oh, and did I tell you what happened a couple of days ago?” Chris nonchalantly asked, as if foreshadowing his Halloween character “Fred.”

“My wife called asking for help,” Chris recalled, while describing that call received in the middle of the afternoon.

She was calling because she heard a distressed child crying outside, next door. 

“Some people would do nothing, because they didn’t know the child,” Chris continued. “But this small six-year-old girl needed someone to offer her comfort and my wife stepped up immediately.”

Chris put his business on hold and began his drive home so he and his wife could begin to solve “the mystery of the crying child.”

Upon his arrival he found the little girl enjoying treats and adoring dogs. All three of his dogs had surrounded the girl and were offering her wagging tails and comforting kisses. No wonder the dogs had been selected to be members of the family’s Scooby-doo cast for Halloween!

Chris and his wife enlisted a few other friends to come to the rescue as well. They’ve developed deep relationships with members of their community. Even close friends who are local police officers came to help, just because, “that’s what neighbors are for.”

As a result of caring neighbors and dogs the mystery was solved quickly. The girl’s teen-aged sister had simply been delayed at school and was relieved to see all of the support their new neighbors had given her young sibling. They’re not living amongst strangers anymore!

They moved into a neighborhood filled with superheroes. And, last night those heroes dawned their costumes and alter-egos in public. Alter-egos are generally fictional personas or characters used by an author, artist, or public figure to speak for them or represent a hidden side. This is most common when discussing superheroes. But not here in this neighborhood.

The Hobgoods and their neighbors are the real deal! They offer superhero help, disguised as regular people and celebrate their character in costume one night each year.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Unintended Loneliness, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 10.27.2025

"Giving advice to others is giving a piece of yourself to them.” – John Hill

Unintentional Loneliness

I was sitting in a large auditorium listening to a presentation by John Hill, Vice President of story at Whop. There were quite a few people in the auditorium, yet I was sitting alone on one row. I was also the only attendee over twenty-five years of age. It’s interesting how a person can feel lonely when surrounded by lots of other people!

As a result of this feeling, I thought about the day before, when I was sitting at the kitchen table of a ninety-one-year-old friend.

“Not one person called or visited me yesterday,” he said, unable to hide the lonely disappointment in his voice.

He lives in a large, mountain property with a lot of land. He’s alone now. His wife recently passed away. Of this he says, “my wife left me.” He has some family members living in the same state, but they’re at a distance, making it difficult to be with him daily. I peered at him.

He seemed to be a small boat, drifting on a huge, once peaceful ocean, turned turbulent. He was rudderless.

“What would you like to do with your life now?” I asked. “What are you looking forward to?”

After all, my friend is physically and mentally healthy. I look at him with wonder, hoping I can fare so well at his age.

“Giving advice to others is giving a piece of yourself to them,” John Hill said, bringing me back to the large auditorium. “The foundation for all strong relationships is face-to-face communication. Video telephone conversations would be next best. The weakest relationship builders are email and text.” He continued, causing me to think of Melissa Kirsch’s given advice.

“We’re all connected, related, dependent on one another, but of course we forget this all the time,” Melissa Kirsch teaches. “We forget that every action we take has a whole cascade of unintended consequences. And so often we feel separate, lonely, disconnected.” 

She coaches, “One way to challenge that feeling is to start with one small thing. It may seem a little corny at first, but it works.”

It may seem a little corny for me to feel lonely in a mostly filled auditorium as well. Especially when it allowed me to feel emphatically-connected to my lonely friend. And, John Hill was standing in front of everyone, seemingly speaking directly to me.

“Face-to-face, give a piece of yourself.”

At the end, I walked away vowing to give more pieces of myself to my aged friend, as well as to others who may be unintentionally lonely. Because small face-to-face visits create a cascade of beneficial personal connection, leading to other positive consequences, that help end unintentional loneliness.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Finding Winning Habits, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 10.20.2025

“I never know what I’m going to find, once I dig into a problem?” – Mark Sebastion

Finding Winning Habits

Looking at Mark Sebastion sitting on top of the fireplace mantel, with the exposed wall behind him, caused me to recall words once spoken by Riley Jensen on another occasion.

“When I’d come home after having a bad day my mother would say, ‘did you really have a bad day, or did you have a bad five minutes?’ Then, she’d follow that up with, ‘are you going to enjoy the rest of the day, or are you going to continue to milk this and pout?’”

Difficult circumstances, such as having a specialized contractor come into your home saying, “I never know what I’m going to find, once I dig into a problem,” and then watching him actually “dig in” by tearing walls, a stone chimney and a large section of roof off could easily be classified as having a bad day; likely turning into a bad week and perhaps, even a bad month or two! It could even cause a person to say, “I’m feeling very picked on!”

Every one of us face stretching-trials, some harder and some less traumatic, and the way a person habitually thinks, while in the throes of “digging in” will make all the difference.

In speaking and coaching about how to face adversity Nick Sabin said, “When my team would lose I’d say to the team, we needed to lose! Because, we needed to learn from the things we’re not doing to create the habits we needed to have to play winning football on a consistent basis.”

Could everyday happiness be enhanced by developing a mental habit of running toward problems and digging into them so you can discover things you’re not doing? Will this process and practice work as a creative way to develop needed new habits so you can enjoy a “winning” attitude and life? And, is there one simple, additional habit that will allow you to embrace daily positivity and success? 

Hopefully, each one of us will recognize and embrace the counsel of Riley Jensen’s mother. “Did you really have a bad day or did you have a bad five minutes? Are you going to enjoy the rest of your day, or are you going to milk this and pout?”

Yes. The walls, chimney and roof of your home may be in the process of being demolished! And, you can recognize the in-process-resolution of the once hidden issues afflicting you, see that you can embrace new ways of acting and move forward to win in your life on a more consistent basis.

Finding and embracing winning habits is often disguised as unwanted adversity and loss. And, you never know what you’ll find!

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing