Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, "Worry" 31 March 2025

“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.”– Dan Zadra

Worry

On a rain sputtered Friday, Andrew and I sat across from each other to have a conversational lunch at Local Lime. And, it was clear that something was furrowing Andrew’s brow. The second indicator that something was bothering him was his deep sigh just before he dipped a crispy tortilla chip into the warm queso stationed between us.

“Something on your mind?” I asked, with a quick sideways glance at my friend.

Andrew popped the queso-dripping chip into his mouth, as if trying to warm the thoughts weighing him down. “I’ve been thinking about how much time I waste worrying about my wife and daughter. They’re on a girl’s trip with my wife’s cousin right now and I worry constantly about them. It’s silly, really. Both my wife and her cousin are smart and capable people. And now, talking with you about it, it just seems ridiculous for me to be consumed by this.”

I chuckled softly. “We all worry about small things sometimes. But you know, one of my favorite writers, Dan Zandra, once said, ‘Worry is a misuse of the imagination,’ It’s one of my worry-counterbalancing thoughts, whenever I begin to jump into an anxiety spiral.”

I watched as Andrew raised one of his thick, bushy eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Think about it,” I bounced back to him. Our imagination is powerful. It’s what helps us create stories, dreams, ideas and the future. But, when we focus on worry, we’re using that same power to create worst-case scenarios that haven’t, and likely won’t ever happen. Instead of using the gift of imagination to create cherished, hoped-for dreams, we’re stuck imagining problems.”

Andrew nodded slowly. “Like me, worrying about whether my wife and daughter are safe!” Then, a laugh escaped his once grimaced mouth. “What I should be worried about is my wife’s reaction if I don’t get the house back in order when they arrive home safely!” 

“Exactly,” I replied with a laugh. “It’s the difference between planting seeds of fear instead of trust. Worry can feel real, but it’s just imagination working against us.”

Andrew sighed again, in a mix of frustration and realization. “It’s funny, isn’t it? We spend so much time fearing the future, but when it arrives, it rarely looks the way we thought. How do you stop it, though? I mean, it’s not like anyone chooses to worry.”

At that, I smiled gently. “Maybe it’s not about stopping it, but redirecting it. Remember that quote from Dan Zandra? Next time you catch yourself worrying, use that as a catalyst to take that same scenario you’re imagining, the one where things go wrong, and flip it. Imagine what would happen if everything went right instead.”

Andrew mulled it over. “So, if I’m worried about work, I should picture myself handling things well instead of messing up?”

“Precisely,” I replied. “The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. You’ll train your imagination to work for you, not against you.”

Andrew seemed to breathe easier. “I never thought about it that way. I guess I’ve been letting my mind run wild in the wrong direction.”

“We all do sometimes. But, Dan’s catalyst can help you stop painting a dark sky so you can paint with colors for a sunrise instead. It’s a habit, and habits can change.”

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MYFyXlDwN-fc35VXcwo-Fza_bVNWEong/view?usp=sharing

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, "The Next Right Step"

“We offer hope and transformation to young women by helping them take the next right step.” – Bekah Shaffer

The Next Right Step

“Saving Grace serves young women ages 18-25 who have aged out of foster care or are facing homelessness. We provide safe housing in a dorm-style setting and offer each young woman educational assistance, career guidance, coaching, counseling, and more,” Bekah started.

Then, she spoke of her own background.

“I grew up in a poverty household with a mother who neglected us and didn’t teach us how to take care of ourselves,” she explained. “One day someone from child services came and removed us from our home and that’s where I experienced foster care which ushered in the next step in my life.”

Then, “Becky” turned eighteen and she found herself “homeless” as the foster care system turned her out. It was another experience that indicated to her that she had “no people.” Yet, she took the next step with courage and went to work. And, since she had good grades she got into college where she began to meet new, different, people. Meeting a diverse group of people gave her the opportunity to really begin to learn how to live a successful life.

“That’s where I met my husband Kent,”   

Becky went on to say. “He taught me how to study and take care of myself more effectively. He taught me the value of a healthy relationship.”

After Kent and Becky were married she had a desire to help other young women who had endured a similar life experience. So, not long after their marriage the two hopeful collaborators created “Saving Grace Farm.”

At Saving Grace, young women between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five are given the opportunity to heal from childhood trauma, cultivate healthy relationships, and break the cycle of poverty that has greatly influenced their lives. Each woman receives support tailored to her unique needs, including safe and stable housing, professional counseling, medical care, life skills training, education, steady employment, and lifelong mentorship. Saving Grace doesn’t put a time limit on healing and forming healthy habits. They invest what it takes to empower each participating woman to alter the trajectory of her life, and create lasting generational change.

They’ve made it their mission to empower participants with the relationships, coaching, and opportunities that will help them to create lasting change without government funds. Perhaps Kent summed-up this approach best when he said, “they come to us without people and when they leave, they have people!”

Well, perhaps, but they have more than just people. They have the farm animals as well. And, it is the animals who also reinforce caring, engage their senses, and compose the steady, healing rhythm of the sacred acres of Grace Farms. After all, animals are the most forgiving creatures on earth.

The animals and people at Saving Grace demonstrate that we all make mistakes and the only thing really needed to move forward is to take the next right step, while being surrounded by good, caring people.

_________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MYFyXlDwN-fc35VXcwo-Fza_bVNWEong/view?usp=sharing

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, 17 March 2025, "Know-It-All"

“That’s the reason I’m here.” – Jeremy Cupp

Know-It-All

“I have a question because I just don’t understand the way this works,” Ricky Porter said uncomfortably. 

It was hard to get these words out of his mouth, because Ricky is revered for his success and wisdom in a very competitive industry. In fact, he’s one of the people, inside and often outside his firm, that others call regularly for technical expertise. Thursday was one of those days and Ricky received a call from someone who used to be with his firm.

“Hi Ricky. I have a question for you. I hope you can help me,” the former colleague said before launching into some background information to set the stage for his question.

Ricky listened carefully and then outlined the solution in a minute or two.

“I knew you were the right guy to answer this question,” the caller said while thanking him for his help.

As Ricky finished the call he felt a warm sense of satisfaction glow across his chest. It always makes him feel good to help other people. He’s happy to do it. But, the day of asking for help wasn’t finished yet.

Ricky had a lot on his schedule for the rest of the afternoon. It was challenging work, but he was experienced and knew he could work through all of the issues associated with some ongoing negotiations; until he couldn’t.

The internal confusion about how to proceed was a feeling he had a hard time processing. After all, he already knew it all.

That thought made him snicker and then laugh right out loud! He had always thought of himself as helpful and kind. He had never thought of himself as a know-it-all and had never liked people who gave off such airs. But, It was time to do the uncomfortable.

“Hello Jeremy. This is Ricky. I would be grateful if you could help me. I don’t understand a pivotal point in a contract I’m in the middle of negotiating. Would you be willing to help me?”

“That’s the reason I’m here,” Jeremy responded immediately. “I’ll be in my office until at least five pm. Could you stop in this afternoon?”

When Ricky sat down with Jeremy he took a deep breath. It was a new experience for him to ask advice from someone so much younger. But, he needed the help, so he proceeded to review his questions with his colleague.

Jeremy answered his questions quickly and easily. In fact, his expert explanation opened Ricky’s mind to other applications for his newly gained knowledge. The meeting also gave Jeremy a chance to make some inquiries of his own before the meeting was finished. In the end it was a mutually beneficial meeting.

Utilizing the principle of mutually benefiting opportunity is a key to overcoming a know-it-all mindset. Putting it into practice can be a challenge, but it is always worth the payoff.

_________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MYFyXlDwN-fc35VXcwo-Fza_bVNWEong/view?usp=sharing

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, 10 March 2025 "Painted Nails"

“We enjoyed meeting you, discussing Salt Lake City and painted fingernails.” – Ryan Butler

Painted Nails

From the moment we walked into the large colonial home, which was embraced by mighty oak trees, my eyes were bouncing from the landscape and house to the painted fingers of the other man in our little group of three. A little voice inside my head kept repeating, “there has to be a story behind this.” I was sure there was.

However, I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask a question about painted fingernails. So, I didn’t ask for the first forty or so minutes we were together. But, very near the end of our tour the three of us took a few moments to sit around a dining table in the breakfast nook to talk about what we had seen. That’s when comfortable courage eased the question from my lips.

“Tell me about your colorful fingernails,” I proposed to Ryan Butler, someone I hardly knew.

“Oh,” he started. “I had forgot they were still painted.”

Ryan then went on to say that as his children were growing up he would enjoy time sitting with his young daughters as they painted his fingernails. It allowed them to grow closer together.

“This time my little niece painted them when she and her parents were staying with us,” he continued, our shared experience of having daughters unlocked the door of friendship.

Our conversation caused me to recall a time when my own daughters had invited me to go with them to a nail salon to get a pedicure with them. Toward the end of our sprucing-experience they cajoled me into getting my toenails painted a deep blue with snowflake highlights. I agreed, just to please them, knowing I would be the only one to witness our painted-toe-pact. Yet, confidentiality was not to be so.

A day or so following it was snowing a good bit. That storm ended up leaving six or eight inches of snow covering the ground when I received a call from someone asking to tour a home in Erda. When the time came for me to leave my house I slipped my snow boots over my bare feet and drove to the house to meet people I did not know. And, of course, when we were about to enter the door we removed our boots out of courtesy to the property owners. That’s when my blue toes with snowflake accents were revealed!

Who knew such toe decorations could generate such laughter between strangers?

The backstory of unexpected painted nails caused strangers to become friends quickly. The same way as Ryan’s panted fingernails increased the depth of our friendship in short moments. Strangers came closer together swiftly on both occurrences. We were able to relate to each other as parents, uncles, aunts, or grandparents. 

As a result of sharing painted nails and toes, we shared tenderness of heart.

_________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kmxoi0M4AAIt0kbOKvplZyAd_Qg2SjYd/view?usp=sharing

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, 3 March 2025, Free-For-All

“I woke up this morning to the sound of birds singing.” – Jewel Mlnarik

Free-For-All

 “One year ago, I was sitting in my law office, looking out it’s skyscraper window with slumped shoulders. All I did, each day, was argue with other attorneys,” my friend Lane said while standing amidst our gathered group of friends.

Lane is, or should I say was, a very successful real estate attorney. He was living in one of America’s largest cities. He had worked hard to obtain his law degree, get hired by a major firm and finally, become a partner in the firm. He thought he was working toward happiness and freedom.

“It felt as if every day was some kind of free-for-all. I felt as if my whole life was continuous fighting,” he continued. That was about the change. 

One particular morning he was struggling to leave the comfort of his car as he pulled into the large parking garage attached to his office tower. So, he continued to drive up and up, until he reached the very top level of the structure. It was so early, there were no other cars parked on that top deck.

He parked his lonely car toward the east side of that concrete pad, planted his long legs on its hard surface and got out of his car. Once he was out of the car, he walked to the cement wall in front of him, which reached up to about his waist. Lane stood there, raised his arms to the middle of his body and put his hands on his hips while looking out over the early morning, still lazy city.

The sun was just rising over the mountains. Its rays pierced his chest and warmed his eyes. And, it brought a thought that would change his life. “This beauty is freely given to all. It welcomes joy and peace.”

“Today, I got up and got on my mountain bike, before breakfast. I rode on the trail near my house and felt the wind rush across my face. I let the beauty become infused with my entire being. I’m happy to be here. I’m glad to be living a happy life here with you,” Lane said, before sitting down.

Two mornings later my friend Jewel Mlnarik came over to talk with me after another meeting.

“I woke up this morning to the sound of birds singing, just before the frogs joined the chorus. Then in the evening, I was dazzled by the sight of the lightening bugs, gliding to the music offered by a band of chirping crickets and croaking frogs,” Jewel said with sparkling joy radiating from her eyes.

I replied with, “Isn’t it wonderful that such beauty and wonder is free for all?”

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kmxoi0M4AAIt0kbOKvplZyAd_Qg2SjYd/view?usp=sharing

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, 24 February 2025, "With New Eyes"

“He’s never seen snow before.” – Larry Garcia

With New Eyes

“He’s never seen snow before,” Larry Garcia said as he and his crew stood in the great-room of the house they were working on.

The four workers were standing in a semi-circle and as Larry was speaking he tilted his head slightly to the right to indicate the member of his crew he was referencing. As the words just exited his mouth all four of them began to giggle a little bit. It was the biggest snow storm any of them had encountered.  And, their giggling sounded as if was coming from delighted children. It was totally unexpected.

Such glee stood in bleak contrast to the weather’s label heard across the news and individual conversations happening all around the storm-blasted community. Most were calling the storm, which was unusual for the area, “Snowmageddon.” After all, the schools and businesses were closed and all of the roads were dangerous to travel on. They were not plowed or salted. But, for the moment, these details of the storm’s impact were completely lost on the four. The negatives were over shadowed by the joy of new experience. There were other new experiences on the horizon for men as well.

The temperature was about to fall off a cliff and the snow continued. As the sun set, the thermostat plunged. By the time midnight arrived it felt like it was negative 11-degrees because of the howling wind and blowing snow. While still freezing, perhaps the 3-degree thermostat reading would have felt a lot better than that blowing-snow-driven low diving chill. It made the drive to the worker’s Airbnb a very unforgettable experience.

The next morning, the continued adventure slid forward. The men were now enjoying a snowed-in status. Their van was stuck in the driveway and they didn’t know what to do. So, they waited, thinking that snowplows would come to clear their way. It was not to happen.

On the third snow-bound-day they were motivated to dive into another new experience. They pulled out shovels and began to dig their way out. It took them half a day. But, they did it. By afternoon they were back on the job.

You may think they would have lost the sparkle in their eyes as well as that infectious giggle heard three days earlier. But, that wasn’t the case. They were still smiling and enjoying the wonder of a massive storm and snow on a never before seen scale, while others, with a not-new-to-me attitude were still grumbling. What was their secret?

It was their ability to see the world with new eyes and marveling at the wonder of it all.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kmxoi0M4AAIt0kbOKvplZyAd_Qg2SjYd/view?usp=sharing

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa 17 February 2025

“It takes time and effort to layer flavors” – Chef Tyler Rogers

Layering Flavor

“It takes time and effort to layer flavors,” Chef Tyler Rogers said with a glint in his eye. He was sitting kitty-corner, sort of across the table talking in his new restaurant, Stonebreaker. And, one of his newly crafted dishes was on the table for tasting.

The moment food left the fork and entered the mouth it became difficult, if not impossible to see the Chef, even though he was so close. The reason is simple. One cannot look straight ahead with eyes rolled way back into their sockets. The taste was exquisite!

Chef Tyler’s smile simply widened as he watched. “It’s all about layering and developing flavors,” he said. Then he launched into a description of some of the steps he took to create the squash mole sitting on the plate. “The nuts have to be chopped and then cooked for several hours, or the mole will taste gritty. It takes a long time to cook nuts for this use.”

It also took him a long time to find local farmers he could count on for food quality as he started building his planned-for Stonebreaker Restaurant menu.

“I wanted to do something to highlight what is grown right here,” he explained. “Most of the food used in the restaurant is from around here, within a three-hour drive from where we sit. It took me a little more than one year to source the producers for the menu I was creating for Stonebreaker,” he continued

It was worth the effort! The depth of the flavor in every dish is astonishing. If you take a moment to savor each bite you can begin to ferret-out the unique taste of each ingredient. And, you’ll discover that they don’t detract from each other at all. The combined, unique flavors build each bite into a crescendo of perception. 

Such a result also happens with the separate components of the entire plate and its carefully curated combination of foods. There is no fighting between ingredients, just taste jubilation. With experiences such as this, it becomes easy to assume that the final outcome tells the whole story. Yet, it doesn’t.

Chef Tyler Rogers began his career in the kitchen as a short-order, line-cook in what could be classified as a greasy, fast food restaurant. But, he had a more expansive vision of who he could become personally and professionally. So, he left his home town of Magnolia and accepted job-after-job seeking more knowledge. Until after years acquiring experience he became a saucier.

A saucier is not only responsible for sauce preparation, but they are assigned as the sauté person stationed on the hot-line in a classically organized kitchen. The sauté station is usually the most prestigious position on the hot-line due the volume and character of the dishes. As a saucier, he not only developed character of dishes, he developed his own character in restaurants such as the “The French Laundry” in Yountville, California.

Chef Rogers’ career-story is more than one of jumping from restaurant to restaurant and place to place. It demonstrates the way every person develops personal character. It illuminates the special nature of life’s schooling process. We are all schooled through a combination of desire, effort and lessons accumulated and learned over time. A lifetime.

And, components of a lifetime create what Chef Tyler Rogers calls the layering of flavor.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kmxoi0M4AAIt0kbOKvplZyAd_Qg2SjYd/view?usp=sharing