"Collision" 8.18.2025 Monday's Warm Cocoa

“Collision is the intentional, rapid, and often unplanned convergence of diverse people and ideas.” – Jeff Amerine

Collision

My friend Jeff Amerine is extraordinary. He’s an expert in venture capital and entrepreneurship and is particularly distinguished for his work in building business startup ecosystems in non-traditional locations. Locations commonly referred to as, the “fly-over” states. Those not on the east or west coasts of the United States. 

He is the co-founder and Managing Director of Startup Junkie Consulting, a firm dedicated to accelerating small and scalable businesses in America’s Heartland. He’s also veteran of the United States Army.  You know, one of those guys who have created, protected and maintained the life you and I enjoy. These two life experiences have given him a unique view of business and life.

One of the concepts he developed and uses in his life and business is a principle he calls “Collision.” Not the kind of collision one thinks of occurring as a result of a car crash. Yet, it is of comparatively, high impact. Collision, as he defines it, is the intentional, rapid, and often unplanned convergence of diverse people and ideas. In the context of a startup business, this means creating an environment where founders, mentors, investors, and potential customers interact frequently to test assumptions and get real-world feedback. It is a process of constant "bumping into" new perspectives and challenges, forcing a startup business to either pivot and grow or fail quickly, saving valuable time and resources.

This same principle can be powerful for you and me to accelerate personal growth. It is a transformative method of moving from passive living to active experimentation. In other words, instead of spending months or years in a state of indecision or uncertainty, you can use the power of collision to accelerate your own learning and development.

A key application of collision is in embracing what could be called unstructured networking. Traditional networking can feel like work, a series of pre-planned, formal meetings that you really don’t want to attend. Collision, however, encourages a more natural approach. For example, you could attend a conference of interest, join a local meetup group related to a hobby, or volunteer for a cause that interests you. The goal isn't just to add names to your contact list, but to expose yourself to unexpected ideas and conversations, leading you toward chance encounters, often providing extraordinary insights, while steering you toward a new direction you hadn't considered.

Additionally, collision can redefine your concept of failure. In the startup world, a product that fails to gain traction isn’t necessarily seen as a complete disaster. It's viewed as a data point. Similarly, when you apply collision to your personal life, you can consider setbacks as valuable feedback, a learning opportunity. This shift in thinking allows you to move on quickly, analyze what went wrong, and adjust your approach for the next attempt.

Finally, the collision principle pushes you to accelerate your learning curve by prioritizing action over deliberation. If you're contemplating a major life change, such as a career transition or a move to a new city, instead of spending months in a state of anxious analysis, create small, low-risk collisions. This could mean taking a long weekend in a place you’ve often thought of living, to meet locals and explore different neighborhoods. Attend a workshop of interest. Try a new hobby. Such hands-on "collisions" provide a much more authentic and immediate sense of whether a path is right for you, allowing you to move forward with clarity and purpose.

__________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

More Than Enough-Monday's Warm Cocoa 8.11.2025

"My 16-year-old son dropped some wisdom on us.” – Brad Alexander

More Than Enough

“Last week my sixteen-year-old son dropped some wisdom on us while we were out at dinner,” Brad Alexander said.

His son has dyslexia. So, reading is torture for him. It always has been. As a result, Brad and his wife have always been worried about him doing well in society and with school work. But, the other day he received the score for his first-ever AP class final test, and he made a four out of five! That’s college credit level stuff! In high school.

“Several of his friends scored lower than him,” Brad before continuing. “Here’s what he said about the test that made me a pretty proud dad.”

“I think being dyslexic actually helped me. I had to focus way more in class than my friends, and I think it helped me learn better.”

Did you catch those three personal deductions?

Brad’s son has discovered something most people have yet to.

The things that make life harder for you might actually be your secret weapon! Another way to say this is, your most difficult challenges are likely to lead you to your greatest successes and growth, if you allow them to.

Brad’s son struggles with reading. And he's a terrible at spelling.

Brad said, “I used to worry about him constantly.”

Three questions constantly haunted Brad and his wife as their son grew physically, mentally and intellectually through his childhood years. 

Would he keep up in school? 

Would others be mean to him?

Would he be okay?

Brad says, “Turns out I was worrying about the wrong things!”

And, he was kind enough to tell me what he has learned from his son through his years as his father.

First, we are all dealt cards we don’t want or don’t expect.

Second, how you play those cards matters way more than what cards you’re dealt.

Brad’s supposedly handicapped son is the embodiment of a powerful principle of great importance. Our biggest struggles might actually be our greatest advantage. They will always shift our minds to seek different answers and alternate paths forward. Paths and answers that we would never have considered otherwise.

You and I just have to learn how to turn everything to our good. It is a learned skill!

Pretty smart for a sixteen-year-old who would have a hard time reading this story!

As parents, we worry our children and grandchildren won’t be enough. But, maybe they’re already more than enough.

We all worry that, we won’t be enough. 

Maybe we all are.

________________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, "Stuck in Neutral"

“I believe my plans have become stale.” – Ed Stokes

Stuck in Neutral

“I believe my plans have become stale,” Ed’s message said. “I’m not sure if there is any strategy to help overcome this.”

Ed’s lament sounded familiar. After all, who hasn’t had an experience of feeling as if they’re stuck in neutral? But, Ed had decided, enough is enough.

For the past two years, Ed has been talking about moving to a mid-sized city in the South, a place holding his attention due to its vibrant community, lower cost of living and temperate climate. Yet, the real draw to that particular location is his family, already living there.

Ed's voice, usually a calm and steady baritone, was frayed with anxiety as we talked on the telephone moments later. “I can’t seem to make any progress!”

As Ed talked It became clear that there was something deeper not being acknowledged.  

"I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me," I started with trepidation. 

"Sure, what is it?" he responded, with a note of acceptance in his voice.

"Why are you deciding not to move forward?" 

There was a thoughtful silence on the other side of the phone call as Ed began to let the question resonate.

“Why have you been deciding not to move forward with your plan? You’ve been holding off for two years and based on your anxiety level it’s clear that you’re paying a high cost by living with such uncertainty. Don’t you think it is time to put an end to this? Tell me the reasons you decided to go forward a couple of years ago."

Ed took the next few minutes to rehearse the factors that caused him to create a new plan for his future.

“Have any of those compelling reasons changed?”

Ed responded firmly. “No!”

“Then it’s time for you to just get it done and finished!”

The feeling on the call changed instantly as soon as Ed’s intent had been refreshed. He began planning again on the spot. Most importantly, he began to act. The barriers he had identified earlier melted away instantly because he changed his thinking. He had shifted the gears in his mind from neutral to drive again.

It is impossible to live in “drive” all of the time. Sometimes a temporary shift to neutral is needed. After all, moving forward with purpose requires a solid plan based on intent. Ed just got stuck in neutral this time.

Ed discovered his sought-after strategy, to shift out of neutral, by simply reclaiming his “why.” 

_________________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

"Lifetime of Wisdom," Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa 7.28.2025

"Whenever we would get together I made sure I had my notebook and it always seemed as if I could hardly transcribe her advice quickly enough.” - James Griffin

Lifetime of Wisdom

The early evening was upon us and it was Monday. That meant being able to get together with my friend James Griffin, during the weekly gathering of our service-organization. My sighting of James from across the room was magnetic, causing me to weave around tables, chairs and people to reach him. Once we were face-to-face, our conversation seemed to naturally advance to “centenarian-learning” and his cherished memory of one client in particular.

One of James’ over one-hundred years of age client, a woman with crisp mental abilities, grabbed him by the elbow as he walked with her out of his office. 

She pulled him in closely and asked, "Are you happy with your life?"

The question caught James off guard just a little, even though he was used to having astute conversations with this long-time client.

“Yes. As much as I can be,” James responded.

“Then, that’s the only thing you can ask of life,” she responded with a twinkle in her eye.

While relating this experience to me James had an out-of-time, far-off look radiating from his eyes as he said, “Whenever we would get together I made sure I had my notebook and it always seemed as if I could hardly transcribe her advice quickly enough.”

There was a slight pause in our conversation as James mentally rehearsed additional centenarian-friend wisdom he felt to share.

“Make sure you continually make new friends,” she had advised before going into greater depth. “As you age, you’ll find that some of your friends will pass away. Others will move away. Some will simply fade away as a result of life changes; divorce, other interests, job changes. Things are always in motion for everyone.”

James has made a home for her shared wisdom. It fills his heart with warmth as he recalls his interactions with her. I could feel that warmth radiating from him as he recounted more of what she passed on to him.

James’ centenarian-friend never spoke with him about achieving his every dream, accumulating vast wealth, or experiencing constant euphoria. She spoke of finding peace, joy and contentment through love-based personal relationships. She always spoke of the benefit of accepting personal imperfection, celebrating all small victories, and recognizing that true happiness isn’t a destination. It is a state of being, cultivated daily through friendship.

“Are you happy with your life?” I asked myself, as my friend James and I turned our attention to the now starting service club meeting.

“Yes,” I thought, while savoring the words of James’ wise, twinkling-eyed centenarian friend.

“Then, that’s the only thing you can ask of life.”

________________________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10lWDbZ2E-NYvRciiXMglVSo0XJfB6Ask/view?usp=sharing

"A Long Wait" Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa 7.21.2025

“If I lose him I will be most devastated. He is all I got at home and my cat.” – Joseph Davies

A Long Wait

The sterile scent of antiseptic hung heavy in the air, a stark contrast to the familiar, comforting smell of Joseph’s dog. He sat hunched in the waiting room chair, its plastic cold beneath his over-heated jeans. His clutched phone tight in his hands. It felt like a lifeline and a burden all at once. He’d just sent me a text, a hurried, raw outpouring of fear, and now the silence of the vet’s office amplified his anxious thoughts as he awaited my reply.

“If I lose him I will be most devastated. He is all I got at home and my cat.”

Just an hour before, Joseph’s world had imploded into a frantic scramble of fear and soiled carpet. Buster, his beloved Golden Retriever, had been fine, or at least, "fine" as far as Joseph knew. Then a seizure juddered Buster’s entire body. A sudden, violent tremor shook Buster's large frame, followed by an unexpected gush of urine which saturated the living room carpet below. Joseph scooped him up. Buster’s familiar muscular frame was now terrifyingly limp. The drive to the vet had been a blur of frantic prayers and choked-back tears.

Now, Buster was behind the closed doors, framed in perfect view from Joseph’s seat, in the hands of strangers, who were now evaluating his condition using the language of pet-science. Joseph kept rehearsing the seizure scene as he sat there. Buster's eyes had been, wide with confusion as his legs flailed with spasms. The image was seared into his mind in a painful loop.

A young woman with a nervous terrier on her lap glanced at him sympathetically. Joseph offered a weak, tight-lipped smile in return. All speech was caught in his throat. There was a lump of dread making it impossible for him to talk, even if he knew what to say. Buster wasn't just a pet; he was Joseph’s steady beat of life in his otherwise solitary home, a fixture of unwavering companionship. Buster and Mittens, a quiet cat, were his constants, anchors in a world in which he often felt adrift. The idea of losing Buster was creating a black hole inside his chest. He tried to push the thought away, to focus on the faint sounds from behind the door.

Minutes were dragging as if heavy and thick molasses. He looked at his phone for my response to his message.

“I'm so sorry to hear about that. I've been through that kind of thing with my own dogs. I hope he gets well soon! Please keep me updated.”

At least my message allowed Joseph a brief break from his frenetic thoughts before he was once again consumed, worried about Buster feelings of confusion and fear. He just wanted to hold him, to tell him everything would be okay and take him home.

Finally, the door opened. The veterinarian, her face kind but weary, stepped out. "Mr. Davies?" she said softly. Joseph shot to his feet, his heart hammering against his ribs. This was it. The moment of truth. He braced himself, ready for whatever news she held.

 His long wait was over and his house would remain a home for three!

___________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10lWDbZ2E-NYvRciiXMglVSo0XJfB6Ask/view?usp=sharing

"Chosen Community" - Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa 7.14.2025

"I can’t see how they could ever leave here.” – Maxwell Johns

Chosen Community

The late afternoon sun, a familiar golden hue, slanted across the university quad, illuminating the buildings of Southeast University. For Sarah and Mark, this campus wasn't just where they studied and worked; it was where their story together began and continues.

They met during freshman orientation, two wide-eyed eighteen-year-olds navigating the jumble of a new beginning. Sarah, with her quiet intensity and a mind already buzzing with scientific curiosities, was captivated by Mark's easygoing charm and infectious passion for baseball. He was a promising baseball player, she a budding scientist. Their first date was a study session that morphed into hours of laughter over lukewarm coffee. Following the roar of ballfield crowds, after Mark’s home run record shattering college ball career, and the quiet triumph of successful research studies for Sarah, they graduated hand-in-hand, diplomas clutched, with their hearts already committed to an intertwined future.

They married shortly after graduation. It was a joyous celebration attended by many of the friends they’d made in school. Then, after spending four years as a professional baseball player, life, in a serendipitous turn, brought them back to their alma mater. 

After a stint as a successful manager in minor league baseball, Mark was invited back to Scissor-Tailed Flycatchers baseball as assistant coach. Sarah, having completed her Ph.D. and a postdoctoral fellowship, secured a research position in one of university's cutting-edge science labs.

Their careers were flourishing, but it was their growing family that truly brought their world into vibrant focus. First came Lily, a whirlwind of energy, then Leo, a sweet, curious soul. Raising two young children while maintaining demanding university careers could have been overwhelming, but Sarah and Mark have a secret weapon, their Southeast University community.

Their friends, many of whom were now professors, administrators, or local business owners, formed a connected, supportive village. When Mark has an away game, or is out of town on the recruiting trail, a friend, whose son received batting instruction from Mark years before, volunteers to come to their rescue to care for the kids. She’s acknowledged as a cherished member of the family, by the kids and their parents, as a grandmother. And, she’s always there when Sarah has a late-night experiment going over-time.

Sarah’s dad, Maxwell, in town for a few days talked with me and said, “you would not believe the number of people visiting that household. They have such deep relationships and support that I can’t see how they could ever leave here.”

The kids are thriving, growing up surrounded by a diverse group of loving adults who are not just friends, but extensions of their family. Lily loves spending time at the baseball facility with her dad and the players. Leo seems to always be held in someone’s arms. Sarah and Mark rarely feel the strain of childcare, instead experiencing the joy of shared parenthood within a community they cherish. Their social calendar is packed, not with obligations, but with genuine connection. Their lives are a testament to the power of community. 

They’re a couple who have found a flourishing life, thanks to the enduring embrace of a chosen community.

____________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10lWDbZ2E-NYvRciiXMglVSo0XJfB6Ask/view?usp=sharing

"The Benefactors," Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, 7.7.2025

"We always seem to have people who need help come into our path.” – Donita Nelson

The Benefactors

Daniel and I spent a few minutes looking in and around my car searching for his cell phone. Even with the two of us scouring high and low, we were unsuccessful at spotting it. Our joint failure ended with Daniel making the pronouncement that he would drive for the next hour and a half to go back to the place he last remembered seeing it. Steel Canyon, a deep mountain canyon with a river running through it. 

He decided to jump into his truck and drive immediately, to race with the sun so he could get down the steep winding road before the sun blushed no more. Steel Canyon Road was ever more difficult to navigate in the dark and he wanted the natural light so he could search along the dirt-river-bottom-road, where he had earlier leaped from my car in an effort to escape the potential sting of a huge red hornet. The road I was taking was safer; a wide and smooth interstate freeway, and thinking it wouldn’t take me long to complete my drive was both, right and wrong.

It was right because it only took about ten minutes before taking the final turn toward my driveway. I was wrong, because as I took that last turn, at a very slow speed to navigate the abruptly changing elevation, I watched as the sleek metal and glass silhouette of Daniel’s cell phone drifted down the windshield until it rested in the wiper crevasse. I stopped dumbfounded; eyes wide and mouth agape.

I couldn’t call Daniel! After all, I was in possession of his phone. So, I drove back to his hotel, went to the front desk concierge, and asked her to give it to Daniel upon his return. He called me about three hours later.

After rehearsing “the sliding incident,” and apologizing for not being able to reach him before he drove all the way back to Steel Canyon, we laughed together before Daniel verbalized his distinctive character.

“It was important for me to go. There was a family stuck on the side on the canyon road that needed my help!”

That was two years ago, before Daniel married Donita, and he texted me with a renewed invitation.

 “We’ve been wanting to give a restaurant a try,” Daniel’s message said, causing me to read with a smile.

I smiled again as I read the address. It was just the sort of place Daniel and Donita Nelson would choose, an out-of-the-way joint in the middle of nowhere. And, I laughed as the warm memory of the Steel Canyon adventure with lunch in an historic café rebounded in my mind.

We were the exclusive patrons of the Wildflower Café upon our arrival. We listened to our server recite the day’s menu and placed our order before Donita began another tale as a tantalizing appetizer.

“We always seem to have people who need help come into our path,” she began.

Daniel and Donita then painted a verbal picture of them traversing a lonely country road where they ‘happened” upon a young man who had crashed on his bicycle. Donita, a nurse, knew how to treat him, but didn’t have her medical bag. As they were wondering what to do, a man suddenly appeared, who happened to have an EMT medical kit, containing just want Donita needed to treat the young man’s injuries. Which she happily did.

I was enraptured by this new paralleled story and wondered what description perfectly equals the continually compassionate Daniel and Donita. 

“The Benefactors!”

______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10lWDbZ2E-NYvRciiXMglVSo0XJfB6Ask/view?usp=sharing