Monday's Warm Cocoa, 18 November 2024, "Plenty of Good"

See beauty in the midst of the trees

Plenty of Good

It was toward the end of a long day. No. That is not right. It was nearing the end of a very long four-and-a-half-month process. A process originally envisioned to be completed within a couple of weeks kept continuing. And one thing was sure. Its end was about to evaporate like a drop of water on a searing cooktop.

“This isn’t lining up right,” Manuel said. “Please come and look at it.”

He was right. The pattern in the carpet was not lining up right. Suddenly, the last leg of this remodeling project was not as simple as everyone involved thought it would be.

The hard-working-crew sat and kneeled on the carpet they were not longer installing. Their faces showed disappointment and fatigue. After all, they had been working quickly and efficiently with the hope of finishing the job so they could begin their weekend. Instead of feeling good about a job well done, they were all speaking on their phones quietly, explaining why they weren’t on their way home.

“I try to do good work,” Manuel said. “I don’t want to do work for someone else that I wouldn’t do for myself.”

It was another delay on a project that had experienced delay after delay, extra costs and now potentially another cost increase. Everyone in the room looked and felt doleful.

At times such as these it can be easy to look at all of the encountered problems as if lost in a vast forest. Where trees tower over and dominate the whole picture. Yet, they are not the whole forest and are certainly not the whole for those with the ability to direct their focus. 

Here’s a simple secret: The more you recognize and celebrate infinite good, the less overawed you’ll be. Take moments to note the often unnoticed, hidden, beautiful and positive in all. Are you seeing the beautiful pond, the vibrant pink flowers and the lush green moss in the midst all those trees? When you cultivate your ability to do so, you’ll begin to see that good is everywhere, for those who have the developed the proficiency to see it.

Ask yourself a simple question when feeling lost in the trees of disappointment or discouragement. What good has come from this?

Manuel could have pressed his crew to complete their work regardless of the less than desirable outcome. It would have allowed them to be paid in full and begin their weekend on time. They could have all walked away without giving their integrity a thought.

Think of the compliments or words of gratitude you could share with such people around you, those offering good to you freely. We often downplay, overlook or downright ignore this kind of generously given good. We’re so focused on the negative (due to the brain’s negativity bias). But acknowledging the good things can remind you to have a more realisticoutlook. You, like everyone else, receive unique gifts of graciousness constantly.

We all receive plenty of good.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1c2Ma9iKHAj7HZ3lb6mKIvI_0UEh2KbQY/view?usp=sharing

Monday's Warm Cocoa, "Restoration" 11 November 2024

“Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion, you’re wasting your life.” – Jackie Robinson

Restoration

There was a lot of damage as a result of yesterday’s storm.  Some homes were gone. Some were split in half. Tree branches were strewn about as if they were from a game of Pick-Up Sticks. Roads were washed away. Water systems were breached. Bridges, once standing strong had been swept from their moorings. Driving along, through never ending damaged scenery was bleak. Until one memorable scene changed the perspective.

Coming around a tight mountain turn, the car’s windshield framed a gravel drive punctuated with two figures. One of these figures was a young man with his hands gripping a rake. The other was his black, dancing dog.

The black dancing dog was darting side to side, front to back, reaching and snapping; smiling all the while. He knew his companion was there to work. He could see the rake being flung forward and dragging gravel & dirt over to fill the deep cuts the storm had created in the drive. Yet, the dog wisely turned the work into play while encouraging his companion to do the same.

Yet, his buddy continued to resist the friendly invitation. The man was resolved to focus solely on restoring the driveway underfoot.

Jackie Robinson, one of the great players of America’s Game never forgot the joy of playing ball while working. He once said, “Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion, you’re wasting your life.”

Jackie Robinson and the black dancing dog both knew they were there, on the field, seeking success in their work. Yet, they also recognized the value of play, seeking joy outside of the grandstand, at the same time. On the other hand, others, like this jovial-dog’s companion, continue to slog along with their focus on completing the task at hand without joy.

Work without entwined play will get the job done, but it never provides restoration to one’s soul.

There was a lot of damage as a result of a major storm the day before.  Some homes were gone. Some were split in half. Tree branches were strewn about as if they were from a game of Pick-Up Sticks. Roads were washed away. Water systems were breached. Bridges, once standing strong had been swept from their moorings. Driving along, through never ending damaged scenery was bleak. Until one memorable scene changed the perspective.

One jovial, black dancing dog changed the work of restoring a damaged driveway into play. At the same time, he offered restoration to his companion’s soul.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

"The Secret of Getting Ahead," Monday's Warm Cocoa, 4 November 2024

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain

The Secret of Getting Ahead

“I lost my wife not long ago,” Neil explained.

The emotion was still raw. It was interwoven with his voice, as if its threads had become imbedded through the use of a loom.

“We’ve been coming here for years. It is our vacation place.”

He didn’t need to explain, but he felt the need to. 

“I understand how life can change in a flash, since the unexpected passing of my wife. So, I’m not going to wait to live my dreams any longer. I need to be better at that.”

It was clear that these were not just empty words. Words shouted into a deep canyon only to echo back to the caller. Because, he took the moment to do a little, valuable teaching about secrets you and I can use as well.

“To live an exceptional life,” Neil said, “Don’t tell anyone about how great you are. Just be sure to decide what you really want out of life, things such as experiences, work, relationships, and health. Then, systematically create goals you can weave with your purpose.”

He went on to say, “Maintain your humility. And, don’t be the most interesting person in the room. Rather, be the most interested person in the room.”

Neil then veered off thread to talk about his secrets to sharing success. “See others as collaborators. Be fair. Be straight forward. Be authentic.”

Neil believes goals and their succeeding success give a person courage. “If a person follows true desire, they’ll provide powerful reasons to reach them,” He says. “When you don’t live with the guiding power of specified goals, life will feel as if you’re running up and down a football field without ever scoring any points or wins!”

Here are some other things Neil shared spontaneously, “first, be sure to document your goals by making them tangible.” 

That’s why he and I were talking together. One of his goals is to create cherished memories with his two daughters. The vacation home he’s in the process of purchasing, in the place he loves to vacation, will be their place, a natural way to facilitate fulfillment of this goal, to make it a tangible part of their lives. It will become the actualized principle of this deeply desired goal of making cherished memories with the important people in his life.

“Be sure to seek the principle behind your goals,” Neil said as he was about to launch into the climax of his secret of getting get ahead.

“Stop saying you’ll be happy, when! Find new ways to get something you really want. Think about it often. And, find ways to learn some skills you’ve never mastered before. Try new things. Look forward to the future. Be part of where the world is going,” He said without taking another breathe. 

“I lost my wife not long ago,” Neil said before sharing the secret of getting ahead.

The emotion was still raw. It was woven with his voice, as if its threads had become imbedded through the use of a loom. He’s not waiting to live his dreams any longer!

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

"Just Another Thing" Monday's Warm Cocoa, 28 October 2024

“Seeing my dad helping others during a chemo treatment is something I’ll never forget!” – Don Dancer

Just Another Thing

“I was with my dad in the hospital,” Don said. “He was enduring another chemo treatment in an effort to arrest the cancer that had invaded his body.”

Don sat across a table in my office as he spoke. He seemed to be grateful for a chance to relax, and he shared a teaching moment, a story about a time when his father taught him an unexpected, yet unforgettable lesson.

“My father was lying down with three or four intravenous (IV) tubes connected to him, dripping medicine into his body to kill cancer,” he continued.

Don voice was sincere and he was speaking in the melodious manner common to those residing in the High South. He took a moment to set the scene by describing how he was sitting next to his father for quite some time, before getting up to stretch his legs and use the restroom.

“When I returned a short time later, my father was no longer in his bed! He had gotten up, rolled his IV stands across the room and he was sitting, talking with three or four ladies,” he continued.

Don looked with surprise at his father, he had sores surrounding his mouth, he had drip lines hanging from posts connected to both arms. And, the fact that his father had hobbled across the room shocked him and he was a little exasperated. So, he asked his dad what he was thinking? What was he doing?

His father replied, “I was ministering to those ladies.”

Being the preceptive person Don’s father was, he continued, since he could see an opportunity to impart some of his hard-earned-wisdom to his son.

“Son,” he said, “Cancer is just another thing. There is always something wanting to steal your happiness, every day, if you allow it to. I decided a long time ago that I would be happy every day. So, I wake up every day, thank God, ask him for forgiveness and ask for a good day.”

Then, seeing additional questioning in Don’s eyes, he continued, “There is always, just another thing. Don’t let it take your happiness! I’ve gotten through many things and this is just one more thing. Regardless of what happens because of your decisions, and things that simply happen to you, you have to say to yourself, today’s the day! I’m just going to have a good day. This is not going to steal my happiness!”

Don’s voice was low as he said, “seeing my dad helping others during a chemo treatment is something I’ll never forget!” 

And, though I never Don’s father, I could seemingly see the memory of this experience with his dad dance across his eyes from where is resides in memory, the place where his father continues to live and teach his son.

“I was with my dad in the hospital,” Don said. “He was enduring another chemo treatment in an effort to arrest the cancer that had invaded his body.”

That’s when his father taught him an unforgettable life lesson. There is always something wanting to steal your happiness, every day, if you allow it to. So, decided to be happy every day. Wake up every day, thank God, ask him for forgiveness and ask for a good day.”

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

“Winning does not equal development.” – Adè Harding

Eavesdropped Coaching

I was sitting in the background, trying to meld with a small chair and table just outside of, kitty-corner, to an indoor soccer field. I’ve never really been interested in soccer, a game the rest of the world, outside of the United States, calls football. But, you don’t really care about that. All I need you to be sure of is, I wasn’t sitting there to watch soccer. I was simply a vehicle. A chauffer, for my grandson. Now, he was in there, on the other side of a wall, garnished by netting, created to keep soccer balls slightly under control. I was grateful to be benefiting from that structural control and it didn’t escape my notice that Ade Harding was talking with the kids he was coaching about that very subject, control.

“Develop control,” he said in his kindly, English accent. “What happens if you simply kick the ball hard and let it bounce high? It can be stolen.”

Yes. As you can tell by now, I wasn’t just sitting there. I was eavesdropping. Coach Adè had captivated a new student, someone who could related to him in ways his younger, more energetic students could not.

“Because I’ve mastered these principles I can still play better than many young players, even though I’m 61 years old, have a damaged knee and walk with a cane.”

His personal description was a secure-hook, enabling him to reel me in. I began to listen more intently, wanting to learn from this proven master teacher and coach.

“Slow down. I want you to develop a soft touch with the ball,” he continued.

As a result, children, some as young as five or six years of age, began to hop on one leg while gently guiding a soccer ball around closely-spaced, short plastic markers.

“You’re not just learning to control the ball in these exercises, you’re building the muscles that will allow you to have the ability to move laterally, quickly and efficiently. Most people you’ll be competing with are singularly-focused on fast, forward movement. You’ll be able to maintain control of the ball in every direction. They’ll fly right by you as a result,” he taught.

His students were heeding his words and worked to achieve the outcome he anticipated. It wasn’t easy. He knew it wouldn’t be easy and that they may become disheartened. So, he offered additional instruction to them.

“We all make mistakes. You know when you do. You don’t need a coach to tell you you’ve made a mistake. When you recognize you’ve made a mistake, simply correct it and keep going.”

I was no longer sitting in the background, trying to meld with a small chair and table just outside of an indoor soccer field. I wasn’t simply a vehicle. A chauffer, for my grandson. Now, I was standing at the wall, listening and learning.

“Slow down,” Coach Adè said again. “Develop a soft touch.”

“Ok coach. I’ll keep working on it,” I said, as practice ended, just before I left to drive my grandson home.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

Monday's Warm Cocoa, 14 October 2024, "Free Lunch"

“Someone anonymously paid our son’s tuition for the full year!” – Jeremiah Johnson

Free Lunch

“Anonymous.” 

The word stuck as Jeremiah spoke it. He was telling me a story. It was a story of giving.

Nature was giving us the perfect evening. The temperature was in the mid-seventies, there was a slight breeze, and the live music was comforting, without being too loud. All of this combined to allow me to sit back comfortably and listen to Jeremiah’s answer to a question.

“How is your son doing in his new school,” I asked.

“He’s doing well,” Jeremiah responded. “Have I told you what happened?”

“No,” I said. “Please tell me.”

“Our friend suggested we apply to a small private school near our new home,” He started.

Jeremiah, his wife and their son moved to a different state two or three months ago. He was back in town for a Friday and Saturday business visit. It was the perfect opportunity to spend Friday evening together; to hear how anonymous generosity turned into free lunch for kids needing help.

“After our son was accepted into his new school he and I went in to complete his registration,” he continued. “As soon as we finished all of the paperwork. I pulled out my checkbook and asked what amount I should fill in for tuition. You can imagine my surprise to hear, ‘there is no need for you to pay anything. An anonymous donor has paid his tuition for the entire year.’”

“You have no idea who it is?” I asked, because of curiosity.

“No,” he answered, with a peaceful look of gratitude glowing from his face, through the dimming dusk.

That could have been Jeremiah’s final answer to my question. But, he didn’t end the story there!

“When my son and I got home we shared our tale of anonymous generosity with my wife,” he continued.

His wife was stunned and they all shed tears together before they received and inspiring idea.

“We had the money to pay our son’s tuition,” Jeremiah continued. “So, when inspiration hit us, we set our ‘Free Lunch’ plan into motion.”

As a result, another anonymous donor now provides a generous monthly deposit into their son’s school’s nourishment department, to provide free lunch for students needing a little extra help.

“Anonymous!” 

The word stuck as Jeremiah spoke it. He had just told me a story. A story of inspired giving.

Nature gifted us the perfect evening for such a story to be told. The temperature was in the mid-seventies, there was a light breeze, and the live music was comforting, without being too loud. All of this combined to allow me to sit back comfortably and listen to Jeremiah’s explanation of how a “Free Lunch,” has become a reality, no matter what his son learns in his coming economics class.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

"Sharing Breakfast," Monday's Warm Cocoa - 7 October 2024

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sharing Breakfast

“Hey, I want to get together for breakfast,” Anu said, as we greeted each other during a 1 Million Cups gathering.

Because we’re friends and I always feel broadened after our conversations together, I quickly responded with, “Sure.” 

I feel broadened partly because of Anu’s wide, welcoming smile, but there’s more to him than his big, infectious grin. This was confirmed again on Friday morning, as the aroma of freshly made breakfast filled our nostrils. Good food seems to be a familiar scent that has become a constant companion whenever Anu and I get together to talk. It isn't the food itself that I most look forward to, but the stories he tells between each bite, stories that fluidly reveal his own, personal, evolving path.

Five years ago, Anu, a geneticist with a promising career, found himself at a conference, a world away from his lab. It was there he met Scott Ford, a man whose passion for transforming the lives of Rwandan coffee farmers ignited a spark within him. Scott's vision, to double the income of these farmers, resonated deeply with Anu, stirring a quiescent desire to make a real difference in the world.

Scott's story, which is itself a testament to the power of purpose, resonated with Anu's own yearning for a life beyond the confines of his scientific pursuits. He saw an opportunity to use his skills and knowledge to empower others, to create a ripple effect of positive change.

So, Anu made the decision to leave his secure job, as a geneticist, to be part of Westrock Coffee's mission. His was a leap of faith, a testament to the transformative power of singular belief. It was a journey that led him to dive deep inside, to discover who he is and what he wants to do with his life.

His time at Westrock opened his eyes to more than the vast potential within the coffee supply chain. He saw an opportunity to reimagine himself, to unlock latent potential, to use his natural and developing talents to assist African farmers.

Dalai Lama said, “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”

Anu's life, is evidence to the power of inspiration, purpose, and friendship, as well as a reminder that even the smallest act of kindness, a conversation over a cup of coffee or breakfast, can have a profound impact on each one of us, as well as on the world. He’s still a geneticist, splicing his unique skills with others to create a future where African farmers are not just producers, but partners in a shared vision of prosperity.

Who will you share breakfast with?

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing