"The Secret of Getting Ahead," Monday's Warm Cocoa, 4 November 2024

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain

The Secret of Getting Ahead

“I lost my wife not long ago,” Neil explained.

The emotion was still raw. It was interwoven with his voice, as if its threads had become imbedded through the use of a loom.

“We’ve been coming here for years. It is our vacation place.”

He didn’t need to explain, but he felt the need to. 

“I understand how life can change in a flash, since the unexpected passing of my wife. So, I’m not going to wait to live my dreams any longer. I need to be better at that.”

It was clear that these were not just empty words. Words shouted into a deep canyon only to echo back to the caller. Because, he took the moment to do a little, valuable teaching about secrets you and I can use as well.

“To live an exceptional life,” Neil said, “Don’t tell anyone about how great you are. Just be sure to decide what you really want out of life, things such as experiences, work, relationships, and health. Then, systematically create goals you can weave with your purpose.”

He went on to say, “Maintain your humility. And, don’t be the most interesting person in the room. Rather, be the most interested person in the room.”

Neil then veered off thread to talk about his secrets to sharing success. “See others as collaborators. Be fair. Be straight forward. Be authentic.”

Neil believes goals and their succeeding success give a person courage. “If a person follows true desire, they’ll provide powerful reasons to reach them,” He says. “When you don’t live with the guiding power of specified goals, life will feel as if you’re running up and down a football field without ever scoring any points or wins!”

Here are some other things Neil shared spontaneously, “first, be sure to document your goals by making them tangible.” 

That’s why he and I were talking together. One of his goals is to create cherished memories with his two daughters. The vacation home he’s in the process of purchasing, in the place he loves to vacation, will be their place, a natural way to facilitate fulfillment of this goal, to make it a tangible part of their lives. It will become the actualized principle of this deeply desired goal of making cherished memories with the important people in his life.

“Be sure to seek the principle behind your goals,” Neil said as he was about to launch into the climax of his secret of getting get ahead.

“Stop saying you’ll be happy, when! Find new ways to get something you really want. Think about it often. And, find ways to learn some skills you’ve never mastered before. Try new things. Look forward to the future. Be part of where the world is going,” He said without taking another breathe. 

“I lost my wife not long ago,” Neil said before sharing the secret of getting ahead.

The emotion was still raw. It was woven with his voice, as if its threads had become imbedded through the use of a loom. He’s not waiting to live his dreams any longer!

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

"Just Another Thing" Monday's Warm Cocoa, 28 October 2024

“Seeing my dad helping others during a chemo treatment is something I’ll never forget!” – Don Dancer

Just Another Thing

“I was with my dad in the hospital,” Don said. “He was enduring another chemo treatment in an effort to arrest the cancer that had invaded his body.”

Don sat across a table in my office as he spoke. He seemed to be grateful for a chance to relax, and he shared a teaching moment, a story about a time when his father taught him an unexpected, yet unforgettable lesson.

“My father was lying down with three or four intravenous (IV) tubes connected to him, dripping medicine into his body to kill cancer,” he continued.

Don voice was sincere and he was speaking in the melodious manner common to those residing in the High South. He took a moment to set the scene by describing how he was sitting next to his father for quite some time, before getting up to stretch his legs and use the restroom.

“When I returned a short time later, my father was no longer in his bed! He had gotten up, rolled his IV stands across the room and he was sitting, talking with three or four ladies,” he continued.

Don looked with surprise at his father, he had sores surrounding his mouth, he had drip lines hanging from posts connected to both arms. And, the fact that his father had hobbled across the room shocked him and he was a little exasperated. So, he asked his dad what he was thinking? What was he doing?

His father replied, “I was ministering to those ladies.”

Being the preceptive person Don’s father was, he continued, since he could see an opportunity to impart some of his hard-earned-wisdom to his son.

“Son,” he said, “Cancer is just another thing. There is always something wanting to steal your happiness, every day, if you allow it to. I decided a long time ago that I would be happy every day. So, I wake up every day, thank God, ask him for forgiveness and ask for a good day.”

Then, seeing additional questioning in Don’s eyes, he continued, “There is always, just another thing. Don’t let it take your happiness! I’ve gotten through many things and this is just one more thing. Regardless of what happens because of your decisions, and things that simply happen to you, you have to say to yourself, today’s the day! I’m just going to have a good day. This is not going to steal my happiness!”

Don’s voice was low as he said, “seeing my dad helping others during a chemo treatment is something I’ll never forget!” 

And, though I never Don’s father, I could seemingly see the memory of this experience with his dad dance across his eyes from where is resides in memory, the place where his father continues to live and teach his son.

“I was with my dad in the hospital,” Don said. “He was enduring another chemo treatment in an effort to arrest the cancer that had invaded his body.”

That’s when his father taught him an unforgettable life lesson. There is always something wanting to steal your happiness, every day, if you allow it to. So, decided to be happy every day. Wake up every day, thank God, ask him for forgiveness and ask for a good day.”

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

“Winning does not equal development.” – Adè Harding

Eavesdropped Coaching

I was sitting in the background, trying to meld with a small chair and table just outside of, kitty-corner, to an indoor soccer field. I’ve never really been interested in soccer, a game the rest of the world, outside of the United States, calls football. But, you don’t really care about that. All I need you to be sure of is, I wasn’t sitting there to watch soccer. I was simply a vehicle. A chauffer, for my grandson. Now, he was in there, on the other side of a wall, garnished by netting, created to keep soccer balls slightly under control. I was grateful to be benefiting from that structural control and it didn’t escape my notice that Ade Harding was talking with the kids he was coaching about that very subject, control.

“Develop control,” he said in his kindly, English accent. “What happens if you simply kick the ball hard and let it bounce high? It can be stolen.”

Yes. As you can tell by now, I wasn’t just sitting there. I was eavesdropping. Coach Adè had captivated a new student, someone who could related to him in ways his younger, more energetic students could not.

“Because I’ve mastered these principles I can still play better than many young players, even though I’m 61 years old, have a damaged knee and walk with a cane.”

His personal description was a secure-hook, enabling him to reel me in. I began to listen more intently, wanting to learn from this proven master teacher and coach.

“Slow down. I want you to develop a soft touch with the ball,” he continued.

As a result, children, some as young as five or six years of age, began to hop on one leg while gently guiding a soccer ball around closely-spaced, short plastic markers.

“You’re not just learning to control the ball in these exercises, you’re building the muscles that will allow you to have the ability to move laterally, quickly and efficiently. Most people you’ll be competing with are singularly-focused on fast, forward movement. You’ll be able to maintain control of the ball in every direction. They’ll fly right by you as a result,” he taught.

His students were heeding his words and worked to achieve the outcome he anticipated. It wasn’t easy. He knew it wouldn’t be easy and that they may become disheartened. So, he offered additional instruction to them.

“We all make mistakes. You know when you do. You don’t need a coach to tell you you’ve made a mistake. When you recognize you’ve made a mistake, simply correct it and keep going.”

I was no longer sitting in the background, trying to meld with a small chair and table just outside of an indoor soccer field. I wasn’t simply a vehicle. A chauffer, for my grandson. Now, I was standing at the wall, listening and learning.

“Slow down,” Coach Adè said again. “Develop a soft touch.”

“Ok coach. I’ll keep working on it,” I said, as practice ended, just before I left to drive my grandson home.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

Monday's Warm Cocoa, 14 October 2024, "Free Lunch"

“Someone anonymously paid our son’s tuition for the full year!” – Jeremiah Johnson

Free Lunch

“Anonymous.” 

The word stuck as Jeremiah spoke it. He was telling me a story. It was a story of giving.

Nature was giving us the perfect evening. The temperature was in the mid-seventies, there was a slight breeze, and the live music was comforting, without being too loud. All of this combined to allow me to sit back comfortably and listen to Jeremiah’s answer to a question.

“How is your son doing in his new school,” I asked.

“He’s doing well,” Jeremiah responded. “Have I told you what happened?”

“No,” I said. “Please tell me.”

“Our friend suggested we apply to a small private school near our new home,” He started.

Jeremiah, his wife and their son moved to a different state two or three months ago. He was back in town for a Friday and Saturday business visit. It was the perfect opportunity to spend Friday evening together; to hear how anonymous generosity turned into free lunch for kids needing help.

“After our son was accepted into his new school he and I went in to complete his registration,” he continued. “As soon as we finished all of the paperwork. I pulled out my checkbook and asked what amount I should fill in for tuition. You can imagine my surprise to hear, ‘there is no need for you to pay anything. An anonymous donor has paid his tuition for the entire year.’”

“You have no idea who it is?” I asked, because of curiosity.

“No,” he answered, with a peaceful look of gratitude glowing from his face, through the dimming dusk.

That could have been Jeremiah’s final answer to my question. But, he didn’t end the story there!

“When my son and I got home we shared our tale of anonymous generosity with my wife,” he continued.

His wife was stunned and they all shed tears together before they received and inspiring idea.

“We had the money to pay our son’s tuition,” Jeremiah continued. “So, when inspiration hit us, we set our ‘Free Lunch’ plan into motion.”

As a result, another anonymous donor now provides a generous monthly deposit into their son’s school’s nourishment department, to provide free lunch for students needing a little extra help.

“Anonymous!” 

The word stuck as Jeremiah spoke it. He had just told me a story. A story of inspired giving.

Nature gifted us the perfect evening for such a story to be told. The temperature was in the mid-seventies, there was a light breeze, and the live music was comforting, without being too loud. All of this combined to allow me to sit back comfortably and listen to Jeremiah’s explanation of how a “Free Lunch,” has become a reality, no matter what his son learns in his coming economics class.

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

"Sharing Breakfast," Monday's Warm Cocoa - 7 October 2024

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sharing Breakfast

“Hey, I want to get together for breakfast,” Anu said, as we greeted each other during a 1 Million Cups gathering.

Because we’re friends and I always feel broadened after our conversations together, I quickly responded with, “Sure.” 

I feel broadened partly because of Anu’s wide, welcoming smile, but there’s more to him than his big, infectious grin. This was confirmed again on Friday morning, as the aroma of freshly made breakfast filled our nostrils. Good food seems to be a familiar scent that has become a constant companion whenever Anu and I get together to talk. It isn't the food itself that I most look forward to, but the stories he tells between each bite, stories that fluidly reveal his own, personal, evolving path.

Five years ago, Anu, a geneticist with a promising career, found himself at a conference, a world away from his lab. It was there he met Scott Ford, a man whose passion for transforming the lives of Rwandan coffee farmers ignited a spark within him. Scott's vision, to double the income of these farmers, resonated deeply with Anu, stirring a quiescent desire to make a real difference in the world.

Scott's story, which is itself a testament to the power of purpose, resonated with Anu's own yearning for a life beyond the confines of his scientific pursuits. He saw an opportunity to use his skills and knowledge to empower others, to create a ripple effect of positive change.

So, Anu made the decision to leave his secure job, as a geneticist, to be part of Westrock Coffee's mission. His was a leap of faith, a testament to the transformative power of singular belief. It was a journey that led him to dive deep inside, to discover who he is and what he wants to do with his life.

His time at Westrock opened his eyes to more than the vast potential within the coffee supply chain. He saw an opportunity to reimagine himself, to unlock latent potential, to use his natural and developing talents to assist African farmers.

Dalai Lama said, “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”

Anu's life, is evidence to the power of inspiration, purpose, and friendship, as well as a reminder that even the smallest act of kindness, a conversation over a cup of coffee or breakfast, can have a profound impact on each one of us, as well as on the world. He’s still a geneticist, splicing his unique skills with others to create a future where African farmers are not just producers, but partners in a shared vision of prosperity.

Who will you share breakfast with?

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

"Every Day" Monday's Warm Cocoa, 30 September 2024

"Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value" – Albert Einstein

Every Day

Mark was sitting comfortably across the table from me. We were there together, well, just to get together. He was talking about the big shift that happened in his life.

“I don’t live to accumulate things as a sign of success anymore,” he said. “I came to realize that the only real impact a person can have in life comes through building one-on-one relationships.”

If there was any doubt about Mark’s sincerity it all vanished, as his eyes became misty as he tried to continue. There was a noticeable hitch in his voice as he tried to speak again.

“I’m sorry to get emotional,” he said. “it’s just that that this is so important to me. It’s become the way I live my life.”

That’s when Albert Einstein’s words, “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value,” came to my mind.

Mark wasn’t even aware of this epigram running through my mind as he continued.

“I’ve made my life simple by focusing on one specific goal every day,” Mark continued.

He went on to say that he follows the same key value-creation ritual every day.

“I look for one person to make a new, genuine connection with each day, someone who is often over looked,” He clarified.

Mark actively seeks at least one person he feels could have their day made brighter by an honest, personal engagement. He often seeks people who are actively engaging with the public, yet are mostly ignored. A good example of this is a person working at a gas filling station. The person working there to make sure all of the pumps are working well.

“There are so many people who are surrounded by people for the majority of their work day, yet they’re seemingly invisible to those round-about them. I take time to actively engage with them. I’m not always successful. There are some who just don’t want to have any interaction. But, I try. If I can’t make a connection, I know I tried, at least.”

If he can’t make a true connection with the first person he tries to engage with, he knows he hasn’t met his goal for the day. When that happens, he simply keeps looking for another opportunity. And, he doesn’t limit himself to one per day. He’s always looking for others to connect with.

“The only thing we can leave behind, when our life is finished, are the people we’ve impacted through relationship,” Mark said just before his eyes filled with more emotion-disclosing mist.

“I came here today to be with you. Let’s talk about what you need now.”

Mark was still sitting comfortably across the table from me. We were there together, well, just to get together. He was teaching me about the big shift that happened, and keeps happening, in his life.

What kind of change will come to your life as a result of embracing Mark’s goal of creating value by making a personal connection with someone you don’t know yet, every day?______________________________________________

I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing

Monday's Warm Cocoa, 23 September 2024 - "A Red Plate"

Lachlan McKnight continuing the Red Plate Tradition

A Red Plate!

Lachlan lives in New York City. That’s a long way from Ogden, Utah, where his great grandmother, Carol Butterfield lived most of her life. And, Lachlan never met her. She passed away long before he was born. Yet, his mother personally knows her as Grandma B.

Grandma B had a close relationship with her grandchildren and she holds a special place in the hearts of my children. That’s because of her munificence. She allowed us to share her home for a couple of years while we planned and constructed our home in Erda, Utah. My kids were very young then and as a result she created a bond with them that lives deep in their hearts. I can see her impact, even now as all three of my girls have spouses and live far from their high desert homestead.

I saw her impact again this week as I received a photo of nearly-two-year-old Lachlan standing on his cooking stool, smoothing frosting on the birthday cake he and his mother were creating for his father. Birthday cakes are a common tradition. So, that’s not what caught my eye here. It was the red plate sitting under that being-prepared cake that merited a stuck-stare.

Grandma B had a red plate birthday celebration tradition. And, she taught my children this simple tradition. When we would sit together to celebrate a loved-one’s birthday she would pull out her special red birthday plate. It was a plate only used for this specific practice and it was placed in front of the person whose birthday we were celebrating. It set this person apart, allowing them to feel special. And, it worked!

Our children looked forward to having the red plate identify them as being special. They knew we were all celebrating their presence in our lives. They knew they were loved.

That love-bond expanded as our girls married and their Grandma B gifted a cherished red plate to them. They received the gift with anticipation and gratitude, knowing it was different from all other wedding gifts they would receive. It was a gift from the heart, requesting a continuation of the red plate tradition. An ask that they would use it to let their current and to-come-loved-ones taste everlasting love.

Lachlan was born in love and lives in New York City. That’s a long way from Ogden, Utah where his great grandmother, Carol Butterfield lived most of her life. And, Lachlan has never met her. She passed away long before he was born. Yet, his mother has passed Grandma B’s generation-spanning love to him. Lachlan knows of and participates in Grandma B’s red plate tradition. 

Who would have thought that a simple red plate could play such a role in celebrating love and tie generations together?

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I’ve helped thousands of people, as a real estate & lifestyle expert, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QOrnyleXDNG8ASRHxr4_CwbcY9FVUUse/view?usp=sharing