On a Particular Day

A phone call from dear, old friends.

On a Particular Day

You’ve had one!  You know exactly what it’s like.

From the beginning of the day, almost from the time when the early light began to tickle my eyes to awaken, life seemed to be testing.  But, that’s not really where it all began. So, let me start from the beginning.

The desert is a wonderful place to begin.  And, that’s where this story begins.  Perhaps the desert, the Palm Springs/Rancho Mirage community, is such a remarkable place, to me, because of Ron and Bebee Green.  Oh, you say?

What about the Rat Pack, Bob Hope, or Hoagy Carmichael?  All celebrities for sure!  Yet, they made their mark in differently than the Greens.  And, I happened to meet Hoagy Carmichael at the same time, in the same place.  It was exciting to meet him, to be sure.  Though, the lasting effects, for my life, from that brief association, were dramatically different from what I’ve experienced with Ron and Bebee.  The Greens were, are, like no other people and family I’ve ever met.

Meeting the Greens was like receiving the love offered by Christmas, combined with the warmth and comfort of a crackling fire.  Their genuine, happy and caring nature caught me by surprise, as I had never experienced it prior.  I remember vividly thinking to myself, at our first meeting, that, “nobody could really be this way!”  Yet, spending more time, getting to know them and their whole family, convinced me of their honesty.  As a result, every day, for the past forty-two years, just knowing them has made me want to be a better person, even though we’ve not lived in the same city or state for a long time!

I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing the Greens on a regular basis because, life changes.  Their kids grew and moved.  I moved.  And, perhaps the brighter sun of spring moved me to want to reconnect with them?  In any case, I’ve spent the last two months thinking of them.  Wondering about their well-being.

Then. On a particular day.  This week, on a particularly challenging day, where seemingly nothing was going right, a 760-area-code number popped up on the screen of my phone, while I was verbally wrestling with an alligator.  So, I had to let the call go to voice mail and didn’t get to listen to the message for a couple of hours.  But, I did listen!  With my heart.

“Hi dear.  We’re just calling to check on you.”  Bebee’s warm voice communicated.

I called right back.  I called, because I wanted to know how she and Ron were.  I wanted to feel the love offered by Christmas, combined with the warmth of a crackling fire!  No!  I needed to feel my relationship with them on this, a very particular day.  And, I could hear the creeping age in Bebee’s voice.

Age, often thought of only in chronical terms, creeps on each one of us, no matter how long we live.  It is a subtle creep that sometimes causes one to ask, “could my life really be creeping away?”

And, again I had to ask myself, just after my treasured moments with Ron and Bebee, “How could I have let myself get detached from people I hold so dear?”

That was my thought on that particular day.  And, my thought on this particular day is, “Who am I going to call?  Who do I want to receive the love offered by Christmas, combined with the warmth of a crackling fire?

After all, age is creeping up on every one of us, no matter how old we are.  Will my actions on this particular day, make it a day warmly remembered for those I love?

Huge Returns

“He knew what the situation was and he chose to be fair.” Stacey Staley

Huge Returns

“They didn’t tell anyone!” Stacey said.

These were close friends she was speaking of.  They had finally called her in desperation.  They were about to lose their home to their mortgage lender.  At the time of their call to Stacey, an expert in all things real estate and relationships, they had perhaps, about one month in which they could work to retain their equity.

Equity is an interesting term.  It is often used to describe the value of something owned, financially.  And, while that is a true definition, there are other ways to look at equity.  In this case, Stacey demonstrated her knowledge, ownership, and use of “relationship-equity.” 

Relationship-equity is investment equity of a different sort.  Yet, it has some of the same characteristics of financial equity, principal of which is that it is earned and accumulated over time.  It is the time-honored process of putting a little bit in, over an extended period.  These small investments of time or money are not taxing.  They’re often viewed as so small that they are often brushed off as insignificant, not important.  But, the real value of such tiny investments is always revealed over time!  Time is the path to the second amazing characteristic of an equity investment.

It’s a hedge.  It allows the person holding the equity to circumvent the effects of some harsh task masters.  In terms of finance, that can mean that it protects one from the ravages of inflation.  In relationship-equity it can protect the equity holder from the ravages of waiting too long to solve an underlying, ignored problem.  Problems that if left unsolved become larger and larger to overcome.  The longer the time period of neglect, the higher the price, right up to the time of crisis.  That’s when the full payment becomes due and the cost is often greater than the equity held at the point.  The equity is fully exhausted!  That’s the point at which Stacey’s friends were teetering.

So, Stacey jumped into action immediately!  Rather than shame or accuse she got to work on her friend’s behalf.  She understands and lives in harmony with the natural laws governing relationship-equity.  And, she was able to reach out to someone with whom she had another deep relationship with.  An investor she knew was looking to place earned financial equity.  One who could purchase the property currently on-the-brink in a timely manner.  Then, she held her breath!

“The investor knew the exact information!” Stacey said.

Knowing the “score,” the investor could have taken advantage of the desperate person.  He could have harvested a great deal, if not all, of the equity enjoyed by the current owner.

“He knew what the full situation and he chose to be fair!” Stacey said, as the memory of it all washed through her heart again.

“He said that he had run the numbers and he could make it work so both he and the person in need would benefit!”  She continued.  “It was a small thing to learn about his character.”

Perhaps.  Yet, all equity is earned by making small investments over time.  That’ what makes it, financial and relationship, huge over time!

Tell everyone!  Make continuous, small investments in every relationship!

Because He's my Friend

“Because He’s my friend!” -  Brock Richardson

Because He’s my Friend

By giving, you receive.

Unfortunately, we live in a day and time when too many of us have forgotten what’s important.  But, not all of us!

One day, Brock Richardson, a teenager and an athlete, vividly reminded me of what’s really most important.  His parents wanted to change his life, and the lives of their whole family.  So, they sat down together and devised a plan to learn how to become peacemakers.  They decided to go on a two-week vacation, going from town to town, from place to place, doing good deeds to others.  People they didn’t know. They wanted to go out and just do something for somebody else, believing that by serving others, they were really doing good to the whole of humanity.

They even made some coupons that said, “Sometimes, it’s just nice to know that somebody cares. Have a great day!”  Each family member put their name on it before they handed it to a stranger, in the strange town.

At first, Brock said, “Come on dad!  You’ve got to be kidding me!”

But, they had great experiences!  They went to big cities and small towns just to see what kind of reactions they would get.  In the end, the miracle wasn’t for the people they served.  It was for them.  It changed each member of the family.

When they got back home from their vacation, it wasn’t long before they missed the good feelings, the peace, they had from doing good.  So, they decided to just go out and do it in their own town.  Then, at night they would come together, at the dinner table, and tell each other their stories.

Two days later Brock came home and said, “Guess what happened to me at school today?  I was walking down the hall, there’s a boy in our school that’s kind of mentally challenged, and some boys were teasing, picking on him.

Brock continued, “I went up to the kids and said, hey guys, leave Joey alone!’

The boys said, “Why?  He’s a nerd!”

Brock said, “Because he’s my friend!”

They said, “Oh! Ya!”

Brock said, “Leave him alone!”

The boys answered, “Why!”

Brock again said, “Because he’s my friend!”

By the fifth time Brock said, “they started laughing and said, ‘O.K. I guess if he’s your friend Brock, we’ll leave him along.  He’s O.K.’ Then they just kept laughing and went down the hall.”

Dumbfounded, Joey came up and put his hand on Brock’s neck and said, “Brock!  Why did you do that?”

Brock simply looked at him and said, “Because Joey, you’re my friend!”

That’s the power of a peacemaker!  It’s the power of serving, doing good deeds to others.  There can never be too many acts of kindness. It is the most powerful avenue to change lives,  to bring peace at home and in our neighborhoods, cities and world.

As I listened to Brock’s story of creating peace, I thought, “Can it be that simple?  Just go out, about doing good?”

Confirmation consumed my whole heart when I remembered Brock’s voice saying, “Because I’m your friend!”

A Hometown of Promise

“Success is never final; Failure is never fatal.  It is courage that counts.” – John Wooden

A Hometown of Promise

It had snowed overnight!  The promise of spring was no more.  There was four inches of fresh Utah Powder covering my deck.  A mere three days ago the grass was green and growing.  It had grown so much, so fast, that cutting it had been a needed and welcome activity.

“Cutting it?”

“Cutting it!”

Fireworks were exploding across my brain!  It was still cold and dark outside, yet I instantly felt warm inside.  Have you ever felt the dawn of a cherished memory as it sends a growing warmth to create a glow throughout your whole being?  That’s what I was feeling!

I remembered all of the good people in our town.  Our hometown!  The friend who cuts my hair, Chris DeHerrera.  The friend who grooms my dog, “Harry Pupper,” Cherie Crapo.  The ones who have fed me.  Can you say Hometown Pizza in Stansbury Park?  Those names were just the beginning of my mental list.  There are others.  Lots of others.  And, they’ve all really been impacted by the current government-forced shutdown.

We’ve all been impacted. Some more than others!  Who in the world ever coined the falsehood phrase, “It isn’t personal, it’s just business?” This crisis is very personal to you and me.  And, for our friends, such as Chris DeHerrera, owner of Stay Classic Barber Shop, it is as if an unexpected overnight snow and ice storm has literally frozen his business.  You and I are seeing a growing, thickening economic ice consume our hometown. It is creating a deepening, unparalleled despair.

When winter’s cold freezes our water into solid ice we use a warming tool.  I have one and it keeps troughed water in liquid form for my cows so they can drink, be hydrated and healthy.  This small trough heater removes enough of winter’s chill to ensure their survival and hope.  I don’t know if cows dream in color. Heck, I don’t even know if they dream!  But, if they do dream, I’m confident that they dream in the color green as they look forward to, and long for, the day when pasture grass grows lush under their feet and tastes sweet on their tongue again.

This thought is what changed the snowy scene outside my window, one morning this week, into the warmth and hope of spring inside my heart.  I knew I had tools I could employ.  Tools to be used in our hometown for the benefit of our friends, the very ones who have help us fulfilled our individual dreams.  The ones that make us more attractive by cutting our hair and trimming our nails.  The ones who lavish loving care upon our cherished animal companions.  The ones who cook and serve us delicious and wonderful food for dinner, lunch, breakfast and celebration.

I wanted to celebrate as a result of this thought, so I used the first tool in my hand; my phone.  I called Chris and thanked him for what he’s done for me over the years.  I asked him for his Paypal address, the second tool.

“For now,” I said. “I can still pay you what I normally would!”

No.  He can’t cut my hair for the foreseeable future.  And, it is the least I can do for such a great friend.  He was my first call.  Others followed!

What will follow if you and I, those of us still able to do so, use these same two, simple tools to contact and trickle economic life-blood to our friends who have given us so much?  It will be as if the spring rains of April have arrived to fulfill all our dreams. The dream of the arrival of the lush, growing green grass of spring.

It has snowed unexpectedly overnight!  The promise of an economic spring appears to be no more.  The government-forced economic shutdown has left the likeness of four inches of fresh Utah Powder covering our local economy!  A mere “three days” ago the local economy was growing and vibrant.  Let’s join together and use our individual tools and relationships to cause it to thrive again!  Let’s grow it so much, so fast that we will all get loved, fed and healthy together!

Let’s create a Hometown of Promise!

Unseen Things

“Patterns as funny things, for you can see them your entire life without ever noticing them.” – Jim McKelvey

Unseen Things

There was highly charged emotion during our phone call.  I could almost feel Deanna DeBrunner’s wet tears dripping directly into my ears, as they seemed to be flowing right through the Bluetooth connection into my headset.  Those virtual tears were then absorbed directly into my blood where they, then, collected around my heart.  It was a good thing I knew my physical reaction wasn’t really happening, otherwise my chest would have collapsed.

All of this was the result of something none of us can see.  All we can see are the results and indirect consequences.  And, these tears were tied to one particular indirect effect. Though perhaps an unforeseen circumstance, seeing a pattern, would have, at least, opened our understanding of a possibility.  And in the moment, it was as if, all of a sudden, I could see a pattern. Something I could see all along, but had been blind to.

In this instance, I could almost visualize Jim McKelvey, one of the founders of “Square,” sitting in the room with me saying, “Patterns are funny things, for you can see them your entire life without ever noticing them.  But once you finally notice, they appear everywhere.”

He also taught me that once one can see a pattern, it is like “finally seeing the world in three dimensions.”  In other words, one can still be looking at the same thing, yet recognition of its associative pattern will enhance the view, give it more depth, and reveal even more patterns that have and are changing the world.

We are living in, once again, hyper-change.  I say once again, because I can still remember, vividly, the last hyper-change of not long ago, the economic collapse of 2008.  It was as if an invisible hand flipped a switch and instantly, nothing was as it once was.  There was a pattern, unseen by most, leading up to this seemingly sudden change.  And, recognition of that pattern has allowed many to see even more patterns as a result.  One such pattern was recognizable during my phone call with Deanna.

The Seller of the home she was in the process of purchasing lost their job as a result of the COVID-19 emergency.  That meant they were unable to get a loan to make their new purchase.  So, they were compelled to cancelled the agreement for the sale of their home to Deanna.  This was the indirect effect from an unseen thing.  Not the illness itself.  A consequence.  As were Deanna’s free-flowing tears.  And, there is another pattern to see here; more indirect effects, affected by Deanna herself.

“Please tell them I am so sorry for them!”  She said.  “Tell them I understand and ask them if there is something I can do for them.”

As soon as these words left her lips, the highly charged emotion during our phone call changed instantly.  I could feel Deanna’s empathy and goodness flow immediately, directly into my ears, again, seemingly, flowing right through the Bluetooth connection into my headset.  They were then absorbed directly into my blood where they, then, collected around my heart.  It was pure goodness and love!  We both enjoyed a new physical reaction as a result.  Her tears were gone and my chest wanted to explode outward with consolation toward all involved.

All of this was the result of unseen things.  Yet, we can see and feel both the direct and indirect consequences.  Deanna’s good intentions and subsequent actions opened the path for a direct, indirect positive effect.  It is a pattern recognizable from our last bout with hyper-change. 

Perhaps it is the most important pattern you and I will see as we face more from the unseen; yet to offer more wonderful possibilities and patterns for our understanding. Showing empathy and giving love to all others, especially during difficult times, always opens a path to positive effect.

“Patterns are funny things, for you can see them your entire life without ever noticing them.  But once you finally notice, they appear everywhere.”

Be Someone's Miracle

“Many miracles are delivered in the form of help from people we know and often from people we don’t know.”

Be Someone’s Miracle

“I don’t know what to do!”  The voice said directly in my ear.

I could feel my heart beating harder than normal as I listened.  In fact, it was about to burst right out of my chest.  I also thought of the message I received from my friend Bart McKnight earlier in the day.

REMEMBER LAST WEEK?

WE THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A BAD WEEK BECAUSE OF THE TIME CHANGE, FULL MOON AND FRIDAY THE 14^TH.

WE DIDN’T HAVE A CLUE!

I laughed, nervously, right out loud when I read the message from Bart.  After all, Bart was kind enough to check on me just a few minutes after the earthquake had struck.

His original message reminded me how important the method of delivery is.

“Are you still dancing?” Bart asked.

I could read between the lines.  What he really wanted to know was if I was all right, as well as if I needed any help from him.  It was a well delivered reminder that he is ready, willing and able to help me with anything he’s able to provide.  He isn’t the only one to respond to current events with kind outreach.

That same day I was out on my morning walk when my friend, Donnetta Anderson, drove up and stopped to say more than, hi.

“We’re here to help if you need anything!”  She said with a big smile on her face.

My interaction with both of these friends on a scary day, for me and everyone else, served as a vivid reminder.  True friendship is a miracle that should never be forgotten.  Luckily, Bart and Donetta bolstered my confidence and courage as needed at the time.  

And, my friend Stephen Tibbitts, Founder and CEO of ZIVA Aero recently gave me this advice.  “Rather than focusing on how bad things are, focus on how to use the time to change the world, one at a time.”

One person’s voice, currently in my ear, hastened my attention back to the need of the moment.  So, I followed the example of Bart, Donetta and Stephen to encourage confidence and bravery for a friend.

“You’re not alone.  I’m here for you!”  I responded with assurance.

That’s all she needed to hear.  Her tears stopped, her breathing became calm and she whispered a quiet thank you.

Many miracles are delivered in the form of help from people we know and often from people we don’t know.  Will you use your time and resources to change the world, one person at a time?

The Smallest and Greatest Way

“I have a little fund.” – Sherry Bullock

The Smallest and Greatest Way

Friday was the day we agreed to, so I drove the short distance to Sherry and Mike’s home to pick up new and gently used shoes as a donation to our Soles4Souls project.  There were two short steps to the front door and I touched the button on their Ring doorbell.  I waited.

In a few moments Sherry Bullock began to open the front door, slowly in greeting.  And, her greeting was immediately punctuated by Molly.  Sherry and Mike’s black labradoodle.    Molly had a large grin on her face.  I could tell because her white teeth were shining, highlighted as if framed by a black nose and soft curly fur.  I reached out to pet her and she wrapped both of her front paws around my arm and simply lolled there while looking to my face in an approving manner.  It was as if she understood the good that Sherry was up to.

Just two days had passed since I received a message from Sherry in response to my Soles4Souls ask for help.

“I have some shoes I’m happy to donate.  Is there a drop off location?” She had inquired.

Now, Molly, Sherry and I were talking in the foyer of their home.  Our conversation turned naturally to dogs, as Molly had seemingly usurped the whole reason for our being together.  She and I stood arm-in-arm as we conversed.  It was symbolic of how our exchange was soon to reveal how shoes, dogs and giving were intertwined in Sherry’s life.

“I have a little fund.”  Sherry said to me sheepishly.

Then she told me how she had gone to one of our local veterinarians to offer help to his clients that were having a difficult time paying for the care their pet had received.

“It isn’t much, but I hope it helps people and their four-legged family members.” She continued.

“I think it is a lot!”  I responded.  “Can you imagine if everyone ‘created a little fund’ to help others?”

It seems as if we, often times, think in terms of doing “big” things.  Giving big gifts.  Spending lots of money.  Yet, “Sherry’s fund” is proof that it is often the smallest of acts that have the largest impact on others.  It seems to be counterintuitive to many of us.  Yet, here I was, arm-in-arm with Molly, enjoying a small gesture of proof.

It was Friday, a small time before the end of the week, the day we agreed to, so I drove the short distance to Sherry and Mike’s home to pick up new and gently used shoes as a donation to our Soles4Souls project.  There were two little steps to the front door and I touched the small button on their Ring doorbell.  I waited a short time.

In a few tiny moments, Sherry Bullock began to open the front door slowly in greeting.  And, her greeting was punctuated by Molly.  Sherry and Mike’s black labradoodle.    Molly had a large grin on her face, along with a small twinkle in her eyes.  I could tell because her white teeth were shining, highlighted as if framed by a little black nose and soft, short curly fur.  I reached out ever so slightly to pet her and she wrapped both of her front paws around my arm and simply lolled there while looking to my face in an approving manner.  It was as if she was participating in the small, yet important principle that Sherry was about to teach you and me.

It is often the smallest of acts that have the largest impact.  If you and I were to combine our small acts of giving, with those being given by our friend Sherry, we could change our community in the smallest and greatest way!