"1964" Monday's Warm Cocoa 3.16.2026

“Gary and Connie Shellhammer were married on October 18, 1964.”

1964

Spring was in the air and Gary Shellhammer was in the driveway as I pulled in. He was moving slowly. The years have begun to impact the way he moves these days. Yet, those years have not dimmed his smile or his ability to love.

If anyone questions the depth of his love they simply need to think of the number 1964. That was the year he married Connie; on October 18th in Lakeview, Ohio. And, that same community celebrated Gary and Connie’s fiftieth anniversary in 2014, the way they always do, in small-town Logan County style. Where such events are most often community-wide invitations rather than private affairs. This anniversary-open-house was no different. The people of Lakeview love Gary and Connie because of the way they’ve loved everyone in that town for just shy of the sixty-two years, since they’ve called it home.

As soon as I pulled into Gary’s driveway and exited my car Gary’s eyes lit up. I was expected and he greeted me warmly before saying, “I’ll just be a minute. I’ll go in and get Connie.” That being said, Gary walked nattily into the house.

Gary came out of the house, holding Connie’s hand, not long afterward. His hand gently caressed hers as he guided her toward me slowly. Connie isn’t as steady on her feet as she was when she first met Gary while attending college. That doesn’t matter to Gary. Anyone can tell that by spending a moment or two observing his gentle, attentive doting.

Gary’s compassion was on full display as he reached for the car door, opened it and then spoke softly to Connie. “Take care now. Let me help you get settled. I’m going to reach across you to get your seatbelt. There! I’ve got you clicked in.”

Once Gary’s seatbelt was also tight and clicked we were on our way. We stopped and started several times while together. Gary’s consideration to Connie never changed. She was quiet. He attended to her.

“The steepness of this hill worries Connie,” Gary whispered in my ear, as we stood looking out over a landscape of rock, trees and rolling hills.

I didn’t hear Connie speak those words. Gary didn’t need to hear them audibly. Somehow, he could read everything her eyes were expressing. He answered her directly with a squeeze of her hand. That squeeze said, “I hear you. I understand. I’m here with you. I’m watching over you.”

I watched this sacrosanct interaction an entire morning; until I dropped them back at their home. Gary got out of the car first. Then, he helped Connie, just as he does every time. He moves slowly; the years heavily impacting his travel. Yet, those years have not dimmed his smile, or weakened his love. He spoke marriage vows with Connie sixty-two years ago and since then, Gary’s every movement corroborates, “I took your hand in 1964 and I’ll never let go.” 

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing

"Being Beautiful" Monday's Warm Cocoa 3.9.2026

“The luminous and shocking beauty of the everyday is something I try to remain alert to, if only as an antidote to the chronic cynicism and disenchantment that seems to surround everything, these days. It tells me that, despite how debased or corrupt we are told humanity is and how degraded the world has become, it just keeps on being beautiful.” – Nick Cave

Being Beautiful

The woman speaking was not someone others would consider to be physically beautiful. She was an old woman now. Her skin was a reminder of how Saharan Desert wind blows naturally designing sand into distinctive patterns to create interest and beauty to dress imposing sand dunes. Looking at her exterior allows one to see the toll life can take on all of us. Yet, as she spoke it was clear that her life’s experience was much deeper than her covering skin.

“I was alone for about fifty years,” she said, while morphing beyond a worn human. “I decided to come back to this group not too long ago and I wondered if I would be accepted after being an outsider for so long.”

Her decision to become separate had left her feeling isolated for so long that disenchantment seemed to surround everything. It had made her days feel lonely and meaningless. One could even describe the quality of her lonely life as degraded. The sorrow of her spoken words caused a penetrating empathy to seep into the hearts of every person listening. The room was filled with understanding.

“Then,” she continued, “not long after I came back I received a call from Rachel Gubler.”

The eyes of the crowd traced the verbalization of Rachel to her physical presence. She was sitting in the midst of them and had a slightly sheepish look rush across face as eyes focused on her. 

“Rachel asked if she could come to pick me up. I thought we were just going to spend a little time together. And, we did. We talked as she drove and I didn’t pay attention to where she was driving until we came to this building. I couldn’t imagine why, of all the places we could go, that we would come here on that day!”

I thought of Nick Cave’s words while still focused on our friend-in-common, Rachel. 

Nick wrote, “The luminous and shocking beauty of the everyday is something I try to remain alert to, if only as an antidote to the chronic cynicism and disenchantment that seems to surround everything, these days.”

The speaking woman was reaching the crescendo of her tale. “We walked into the building and were greeted by several other woman who had all come together, at Rachel’s invitation, to throw me a surprise birthday party! That’s when I knew I was no longer alone!”

And at that moment, Nick Cave’s continuing words confirmed the meaning of that tale as I rehearsed them in my mind. 

“It tells me that, despite how debased or corrupt we are told humanity is and how degraded the world has become, it just keeps on being beautiful.”

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing

"Sawdust" Monday's Warm Cocoa 3.2.2026

"I have always admired a man like the late Fred Fuller Shedd, who had a gift for stating an old truth in a new and picturesque way.” – Dale Carnegie 

Sawdust

I just happened to be walking past the “fishbowl” window glass, behind which Don Dancer was sitting. We locked eyes and smiled at each other. That was my invitation to enter through the office door and say hello.

Don started our conversation by asking, “How are you?”

Then, seemingly, without taking a breath Don continued, “What are you doing to take care of yourself?”

He then talked about the importance of moving-on from one’s past before describing his determination to create his own happy and satisfying future. As he was speaking I could almost see Dale Carnegie’s persona projecting from Don’s countenance as he pontificated about the futility of worrying about the past.

Dale Carnegie wrote, “I have always admired a man like the late Fred Fuller Shedd, who had a gift for stating an old truth in a new and picturesque way. While editor of the Philadelphia Bulletin and addressing a college graduating class, he asked: ‘How many of you have ever sawed wood? Let’s see your hands.’ Most of them had. Then he inquired: ‘How many of you have ever sawed sawdust?’ No hands went up. ‘Of course, you can’t saw sawdust!’ Mr. Shedd exclaimed. ‘It’s already sawed! And it’s the same with the past. When you start worrying about things that are over and done with, you’re merely trying to saw sawdust.’”

Don has stopped trying to saw sawdust! It feels so good to him that he wanted to offer me the same gift. And, he hasn’t stop at that. He’s busy and active in designing a curated life, doing the work of sawing new wood. He’s following a process of gathering, cleaning, and selecting actions and experiences to enable his daily living to become present in a specific, intentional way.

Intention is everything when it comes to creating intended results. Don knows this and schedules personal imaging time weekly.

“I spend time thinking about what I want my future to be,” he explained to me, while emphasizing the importance of this seemingly unassuming, yet essential activity. “The reason you do it on a weekly basis is that creating the life you want is a ‘design-build’ process. It is impossible to visualize everything you want in one sitting, because you learn and build as you go!”

It was time for me to go. So, I thanked Don for inspiring me. And, as I stepped past the doorway to leave I felt the need glance at my reflected-self in that “fishbowl” window glass to see if there was sawdust needing to be brushed off!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing