Monday, June 30, 2025

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa 6.30.2025

“What if I have regrets later?” – Gabe Chariton

Formative Importance

Gabe’s thinking wheels were turning. He had formulated a question about his financial future. That question was spinning in his mind. He was processing information over and over again. Yet, he was doing more than processing.

Processing could be a practice of rehashing the same old thoughts. That wasn’t what he was doing. He had considered his current position and was using it to gather additional intelligence. I knew he was assembling more data, because he asked me to give him some analysis. That’s why we were sitting together, talking through the facts, before hitting golf balls, on a bright Thursday afternoon, in a bay at the local Top Golf. 

That’s where I witnessed Gabe’s formative thinking progression.

This wasn't just a financial transaction for him; it was a deep breath at a pivotal crossroads. Gabe understood, with a quiet certainty, that this choice would be formative. It wasn't merely about the immediate cash or a perceived potential, distant windfall; it was about weaving the very fabric of his financial and core beliefs together, shaping his relationship with risk, and laying the groundwork for every significant money decision he’d make for years to come. Would he prioritize the comforting embrace and security of retiring all his current obligations, or the one who dared to dream of exponential growth, trusting in a possible long-game phantom? 

Gabe’s next question was, “What if I sell that property and its value increases tremendously over the next few years?” 

“May I make a suggestion?” I answered.

“Yes. Please,” Gabe responded.

“Will you please tell me what is most important to you right now?”

After thinking for a few moments Gabe said, "opportunity cost is not just in dollars, but in the precious currency of peace of mind. Being debt-free isn't just about the financial ledger; it will free up my mind. It will allow me to think clearer, to explore future ventures with a lighter heart, unburdened by the hovering hammer of debt. The potential future appreciation of the property, while a lovely thought, is really like a distant, shimmering star. I’ll think about it over the next couple of days and we’ll talk again.” 

Gabe’s thinking wheels still were turning. Yet, I had witnessed a shift in his thinking from unproductive rehashing to formative importance. He was now focused on the tangible, not on a nonexistent future.

“It’s critical to determine what is most important to you,” I said. “It will allow you to act now, without the worry of regret in the future. That’s why I call it formative importance. It confirms what you really want now, so you can build a path forward without remorse.”

_________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10lWDbZ2E-NYvRciiXMglVSo0XJfB6Ask/view?usp=sharing

Monday, June 23, 2025

"Strengthening Hands" Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa 6.23.2025

“I’m 56 years old and should be doing this by myself,” - My Friend's Daughter

Strengthening Hands

Three of us were sitting at a dining area table together. It was the first time for me to meet my friend’s daughter. She’s not a young girl. She turned 56 years old not long ago.

Her father is no longer a young man either. He’s 83 and still watching out for his daughter. That’s why he wanted to get some additional, outside help for her. She’s been unemployed for a few months now, with building financial woes, and sometimes it’s hard to have difficult conversations with people who are close to us.

“Please tell me what is going on with you now,” I asked her, while already knowing a little bit about her situation as described by her father.

She took a deep, emotion-filled breath and began to fill-in the blank spots of her current financial situation. One of those spots was filled with what could be characterized as “the elephant in the room.” A mammoth issue that was about to crush her, along with her financial future for many years to come. And, it could be avoided with a little bit of short-term help, so I took a deep breath and launched right into the hard question.

“Do you have someone who’s able to help you through this rough spot with a little loan?”

“I’m 56 years old and should be doing this by myself,” she responded quickly.

It was an admirable, but unrealistic sentiment which she explained by launching into all of the reasons no one else would be willing to help her get past her current position. Luckily, there was another “elephant” sitting in the room, right across the table.

“I can loan you the money,” her father immediately offered.

“I can’t let you do that,” she replied.

“Why not?” I retorted. “You will be able to return the money in about 90 days and he’ll hardly notice it was gone because of the fast turnaround.”

That’s when tears began to stream from her eyes. She answered with a hiccup voice reiterating, “I’m 56 years old and should be doing this by myself.”

“It will remove the immediate urgency facing you,” I said gently, as relief began to wash across her face and over her body.

Sometimes relief is hard to find on your own. Especially when thinking you’ve reached an age of maturity. Yet, every one of us will likely need the strengthening hands of willing loved ones from time to time. It can be a hard ask! It can also be accompanied by easy, obvious help from someone who cares about you deeply. Maybe it’s the intimate nature of possible supporting help that makes asking so hard. But it’s worth it.

Over the next few minutes we created a path forward and put the wheels of progress in motion. Forward progress came quickly, with joyful relief. It was a respite made possible by strengthening hands.

________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ktZfblXh2jAyKce2-EJazGOdQnaERL3A/view?usp=sharing

Monday, June 16, 2025

"Sprinting for Dad" Monday's Warm Cocoa 6.16.2025

Fans cheer as a little girl runs to her father after a baseball victory.

Sprinting for Dad

When thinking of American baseball many connections come to mind. Summer, hot dogs, peanuts, a seventh inning stretch and a group singalong of “Take me out to the Ball Park” are certainly some front-of-mind thoughts. Yet, a new, inspiring connection played out, the other day, in a college ball park at the conclusion of one particular NCAA Super Regional baseball game.

The host and winning team of the baseball game gathered in the center of the infield to celebrate their win. They were surrounded by joyful reverberations, intermingled with music floating from the still-full stadium as players, coaches, managers and fans cheered and applauded each other. After-all, it had been years since they’d enjoyed such a victory. This win qualified them to compete against seven other teams in the 2025 College Baseball World Series. Thousands were blissfully focused on baseball success, until a concurrent happening played out.

A young toddler sitting in the right field stands had waited patiently for the end of the ballgame. She had waited almost four hours to reach her own envisioned victory. Her dreamed for victory was different than that of all other spectators celebrating in the stands. Her only interest in the baseball game was that it would be over, win or lose. So, as soon as the game ended and the team gathered in the infield, she could no longer be contained.

With one quick, decoy move this toddler shimmied away from her mother and set her sight on reaching one person on the field. She ran to reach the arms of her father, a coach for the winning team.

The girl’s run began in right field on small, churning legs at the edge of the warning track and picked up speed and attention as her feet hit the grass. The crowd caught sight of her streak not long after she hit the grass. One could her a slight roar begin to build as fans noticed her intent.

The growing roar continued to rise to crescendo until her father sees her, scoops her up in his arms to capture her love and in one smooth twirl, lifts her to victory position on his shoulders. One small girl had successfully shifted attention from an unforgettable baseball victory to a remarkable winning of viewing hearts. Perhaps such winning of the heart is evidence of the importance of having a loving father and a foreshadow of more love to be shared on Father’s Day, happening a short week and a half, from her victory run.

It was a run that, from now on, whenever I think of baseball, will cause me to reminisce and smile, as I recall one little girl’s baseball-field-sprint into the arms of her beloved father. 

_____________________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ktZfblXh2jAyKce2-EJazGOdQnaERL3A/view?usp=sharing

Monday, June 9, 2025

"Unimaginable" Monday's Warm Cocoa, 6.9.2025

“I received an unimaginable gift as a result of my accident.” - Susan Edgmon

Unimaginable

“I was in a horrible traffic accident,” Susan Edgmon began. “The immediate result was an unimaginable, life-altering brain injury.”

For a performance-oriented entrepreneur, Susan’s new, brain injury reality was devastating. Her entire life and her imagined future vanished instantly. Or, so she believed.

“My recovery team focused on getting me healthy and moving forward. They worked patiently, asking me to set new goals. I didn’t want to! But, I finally surrendered and told them my goal was to learn drive again,” She said with a grin.

Susan was in psychotherapy twice a week for two years. Her recovery was not a brisk stride of process.

“My condition, after the accident, forced me to sit a lot. For the first time, I watched oak tree leaves sprout and open, over days,” Susan said with a pleased smile. “I was a workaholic before the accident. I had never experienced life or the world at such a pace.”

Susan’s mother hoped to encourage a more engaging pace of life, so she called and asked her to take a water color painting class. 

“I said no! I don’t paint,” Susan said laughingly.

Her mother responded by saying, “I paid $60 for the class, so you’re going to go!” 

“The first day of class we painted only brown! The second day we painted a sunset,” Susan said in a mocking tone. “The teacher asked me how long I’d been painting. I told him, this was my second painting. He said, no, really! How long have you been painting?”

From that point on, Susan continued painting, learning and exploring varied art forms. She entered a local art competition and as a result, a gallery owner approached her about having a show in her gallery.

“I soon found that as a creative entrepreneur, you need to do a lot of different things just to survive financially. It’s not easy,” Susan said of her life as an artist. 

“I’ve always remembered what my friend and mentor, Sam Walton once said to me.” 

“Find a need and fill it,” Sam advised her.

Susan has focused on Sam’s advice faithfully. She has found an unimagined need, within herself, and has filled it beautifully by sharing her artistic gift with others. 

“My art is the gift of my accident. I have received it, so I need to share it! It isn’t something I’m supposed to keep to myself. I must share it,” She explained. 

I asked Susan, “What advice do you offer others who are still seeking their own gifts?”

She responded quickly by saying, “I would say, believe! You don’t have to be perfect. Just do the best you can and that’s enough. Your self-worth is not tied up with how you perform. Always ask yourself, what did I learn, even if you fail. Because you learn, whether you fail or succeed. Be patient and keep trying. Keep trying different things. Keep learning. And, seek your joy.” 

Imagine the unimaginable for yourself.

_____________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ktZfblXh2jAyKce2-EJazGOdQnaERL3A/view?usp=sharin

Monday, June 2, 2025

"Angel High-Five" Monday's Warm Cocoa, 2 June 2025

"No explanation." – Traveling Mother

Angel High-Five

The end of the Memorial Day weekend proved to be a little hectic for our household-guests as they began the process of finding all of their belongings. I looked at the once bulging, huge pink suitcase. It was practically empty, as were the other smaller bags that had all arrived three days earlier. Upon arrival, they were all filled.

Now, mother and father were scurrying about, picking up the clothing, binky’s and all sorts of other items, while stuffing them back into the quickly filling bags. I filled one bag.

The bag I filled was small zip-sandwich bag. I crammed it with, prior-to-three-days-ago untasted, glazed animal cookies. These particular grandchildren had never enjoyed this delicacy. Now that they had nibbled on those tasty-crunchies there was no going back to a quiet domestic life without them! (Yes. That’s what grandparents are for.) Such inspiring tranquility could not be left alone in a dark cupboard when they’d be sorely needed on the three-and-a-half-hour flight soon to face this family of four. Now, it was time for me to complete the last task facing me in preparation for their departure.

We loaded everyone and everything into my car and began driving to the airport. It was a large load. I wondered how only two parents could transport all that stuff and two kids to the jet bridge.

My daughter was fearing the same as she asked, “Do they have skycap service at this terminal?”

“They don’t,” I responded with trepidation.

“Oh!”

The conversation had ended. The concern had not. And, the ride was completed shortly thereafter as we arrived at the departure curb.

We stepped from the pavement to the curb and sidewalk over and over again. We lifted bag after bag, setting them on the sidewalk. Then, we got the strollers out and carefully secured the kids. My work was done and all I could do is watch and wonder again, how they’d get to the bag check counter with all that stuff. 

We gave hugs all around. I got in my car, pulled away from the curb slowly and watched as a man suddenly appeared next to that just-stacked, pile of luggage and humanity; seemingly out of nowhere.

It made me wonder. So, as soon as I arrived home I sent my daughter a text message.

“I saw the guy come out to help you into the terminal. How nice! What was his story?”

“Just nice. No story. No explanation. Just an Angel. High-Five!”

“It was wonderful,” I responded with slightly trembling fingers.

Memorial Day is a day when many of us have trembling fingers and watery eyes. It’s a day set aside to remember those who sacrificed their lives on our behalf. Such sacrifices continue daily and we often don’t give our benefactors a thought now, or a remembrance later. Here’s to every one of you good-deed-doers!

Angel-High-Five. Thank you.

 _________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ktZfblXh2jAyKce2-EJazGOdQnaERL3A/view?usp=sharing