Remembering the Right Mix

“I learned that anyone could die quickly, without notice, for no reason.” - Phil Weed

 

Remembering the Right Mix

 

“I could only remember what had happened for the past three months!  I could only remember the people I had come into contact with over the previous three months!” Phil said, as we were sitting in Ditta Caffee.  I suspect that upon seeing us there, some thought we were simply there to eat their delicious, hand-made, fresh bagels and enjoy the hot & cold beverages of our choice in good company.  And, we were!  After all, they have the best bagels I’ve eaten outside of my old local, Leo’s, in downtown Manhattan.  And, that’s saying something about how good those bagels are!

 

Ditta Caffee is also a good, no, a great place to socialize with friends and cross pollinate with potential new friends.  That’s why Phil Weed and I were there.  It seems that friendships become something more substantial when a little breaking of bread takes place with another person.  Maybe that’s because it connects us through a taproot of commonality.  Everyone needs to eat!  So, why not do it together?  Food and people are a great combination of ingredients and I was hoping to discover Phil’s unique blend of staple of ingredients.

 

My friend Phil seems to have his own proprietary mixture of great living ingredients and I was anxiously awaiting for him to share his source.  And, I was in luck!

 

“I was in a skiing accident.”  He shared.  “I could not have imagined what it would be like to lose everything!  I don’t mean only the physical things.  I mean everything; the relationships, memories, a direction in and meaning for life!”

 

To say the least, this experience changed Phil right down to his fundamental foundation.  And, it gave him the chance to develop a strong moral compass in a way he never imagined.  This experience is why he began to focus on building lasting personal relationships with a healthy dose of compassion.  When he had fully recovered I’m sure he thought he was finished with that kind of life shaking growth.  But, it wasn’t to be!

 

A few years later, Phil and his wife lost one of their children in a sudden and unexpected way.  “It was such a dramatic experience that I quickly got to the point of not feeling as if I had anything else to give to anyone.  I learned that anyone could die quickly, without notice, for no reason!”

 

Looking at Phil across the table, through an outsider’s lens, as he recounted this experience, it was revealing to see how it guided him toward an intimate understanding of, as well as to embrace the reality of how fragile life is.  And, embrace it he has!  The first question I hear him ask others is, “What is it you need?  How can I help you?”  Then, he, in his own gentle way invites people into his circle so they can feel his tender embrace.

 

I know!  I have felt his embrace, even though he didn’t really know me when he reached out. He did so just so he could connect, support and heal.  He lives this special brand of compassion with others regularly, even if he has never met them and in many cases never will.  I’m sure he has forgotten countless good deeds of his employ, simply because he never tires of looking for and performing more acts of kindness.

 

“I could only remember what had happened for the past three months!  I could only remember the people I had come into contact with over the previous three months!” Phil said, as we were communing in Ditta Caffee.  I suspect that upon seeing us there, some thought we were simply there to eat their delicious, hand-made, fresh bagels and enjoy the hot & cold beverages of our choice in good company.  And, we were!  After all, they have the best bagels I’ve eaten outside of my old local, Leo’s, in downtown Manhattan.  And, that’s saying something about how good those bagels are!  And, I learned more about another kind of amnesia he has overcome.

 

Phil never loses sight of his core, unique ingredients for living an exceptional life.  Build strong, lasting relationships, always be compassionate, remember how fragile life is, and never tire of doing good to all people, all of the time.