When the Dealin's Done

“I just want people to know that it doesn’t matter what cards they were dealt.  They can exchange whatever cards they got with new ones!” – Cassandra Banks

When the Dealin’s Done!

I’ve never been a player of card games.  Still, when Cassandra used a card gaming analogy, even I got it!

Cassandra Banks has bright, engaging eyes and an infectious smile.  She, in her mid-forties, also continues to have at least as much energy as my three-year-old grandson, Landon.  And, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with a more positive outlook on life.  Cassandra simply gets it, even on an early Friday afternoon after a busy week.

We sat together in a business meeting on this particular Friday going through some, well, business.  And, as it turned out, she seized the opportunity do offer her unique, and well-earned, perspective on how to live a well-lived life.

I say well-earned because had you been sitting with us, you’d have looked across the same table and said to yourself, “This woman has it all together.  She’s vivacious, happy and successful!  She’s likely lived an enchanted life!  I’m sure she’s the product of an exceptional family life, filled with opportunity!”  And, had you come to this conclusion, as a result of the meeting, I would have understood.  But!  Your conclusions, while understandable, would not be correct!

“When I was a young child, my mother left us!”  She said.  “My father had a drug habit and when I was about ten-years-old, I found a cassette recording of his verbal documentation of all of the things he had done to me.  He was upset when he saw that I had found it, because he didn’t want me to hear it until after he was gone!  I think it was his way of attempting to apologize at his end”

I looked straight into her eyes as she was sharing her story with me.  And, I sort of expected to see tears welling up in her eyes.  But, that’s not anything like what I saw.  I saw wholesome resolve and compassion!

“When I turned eighteen, my foster family gave me the contact information for my mother.  So, I gave her a call, hoping I could begin to have a relationship with her.  When she answered my call, I introduced myself.  She responded with, ‘I have enough problems in my life and I don’t need to deal with your problems as well!’”

The strength expressed in her eyes shown stronger as she told me how, at that defining moment, she simply made the decision to cut her dysfunctional family out of her life because she didn’t want their bad influence and effects to continue to hurt her.  She made the decision to create her own positive, personal future at that very moment.

“I created a great life for myself, have a strong, loving immediate family and now I have an amazing grandchild!  I just want people to know that it doesn’t matter what cards they were dealt.  They can exchange whatever cards they got with new ones!”  She encouraged with a smile.

Cassandra’s encouragement made a difference for me at that very moment!  I knew she was presenting me, and you, with a philosophy for a new path, a passageway allowing us to leave the past in the past while creating hope for a longed for, dreamed for and anticipated, new life.

 Cassandra has shown all of us that we can choose to let the dealin’ be done!