Progressive Disappointment

A disappointed friend.

Progressive Disappointment

When she approached me, her demeanor was nearing the darkness of a thundercloud.  It caught me by surprise, as I know how much she dislikes rainy weather.  When she spoke to me I could virtually see lightning dancing from her mouth, as she told me of her recent disappointment.  I felt empathy as she continued explaining how things were not turning out the way she expected.

You see, I’ve had the opportunity to deal with a lot of disappointment in my life, just as you have.  And, in this case her story caused me to reflect on an upsettingly similar situation and my failure of dealing with it at that past time, in the best possible way.  Then, at that exact moment, my view of the dancing lightning changed from stormy to an “ah-ha” moment.  Who says lightning doesn’t strike twice?

This second strike was also a second chance for me.  It was a chance to stop, think and then learn from my own disappointment, this time living anew and acting as artificial intelligence.  I was determined to use my past disappointment as a way to make progress for her benefit as well as mine.  Progressive Disappointment is a way everyone can turn disappointment into personal growth and triumph.

When you’re faced with disappointment, especially when it isn’t your fault, because of events outside of your control, there are a couple of small steps you can take to begin to feel better immediately.

First, don’t just sit around and worry.  Do what’s in front of you at that very moment.  Do what you can do.  That may mean doing completely unrelated tasks such as trimming a hedge, doing laundry or even cleaning your desk.  Just keep moving forward, where there is living to do now.

Second, recognize your need to let go of everything you can’t control.  Let it go!  Then, get busy on your “working toward your goals” list.  This will allow you to make progress in the direction of what you can control.  Basketball fans will recognize this as very important.

Have you ever watched a player believe he was fouled, miss his basket (goal), and then stand yapping at the referee?  Yes!  While he is standing their yapping, the other team stays focused on executing toward their goal, running to the other side of the court where they have the advantage of playing five on four.  Basketball’s best coaches work hard to keep their players focused on always perfecting execution toward their goal.  Execution is everything in basketball and life.

“Let it go and execute what you can control positively” I said to myself, and then to her, as my past disappointment lifted me as if through artificial intelligence.

When she approached me, her demeanor was nearing the darkness of a thundercloud, but these words caught her by surprise and she gladly began to move out her internal, emotional storm.  I know how much she dislikes rainy weather.  When next she spoke, I could no longer see lightning dancing from her mouth as she began to move past her recent disappointment.  I too felt much better, as soon as I saw the power of progressive disappointment allow both of us turn toward the positive, a future we expected to enjoy as a result. 

Progressive disappointment is a means of learning from our past, so things will turn out even better, because learning always makes us better people.