Living in a Cage

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“I have to feel secure.  It’s important to me.” – Heather Coleman

Living in a Cage

“I have to feel secure.  It’s important to me.  I’m going to be starting a new job already.  I’ve never really been anywhere else.”  Heather said during our conference call.

We were on the call making her an offer for a new job in a new city.  It was a great opportunity for her.  At least that’s what we thought.  But, she was having other thoughts.  She didn’t say what those thoughts were, exactly.  And, as she spoke I began to see a new image of what was worrying her.

She was like a bird looking out at an undiscovered world while focusing on the familiar bars that she had mistaken for a warm security blanket.  Her objections sounded all too recognizable to me because I’ve been guilty of living in a self-imposed cage before myself. 

I was living on the Arabian Peninsula many years ago when I first discovered the trap of living life in a cage.  I worked in a multinational office with companions from more than six different countries.  We all had different backgrounds with varied traditions, all dissimilar from those of the two of us from Salt Lake City.   One day, one of our collogues, from Asia, was moving forward with preparations for an upcoming meeting when my other workmate from Salt Lake said, “you’re doing this wrong!  That’s not how we do it in Salt Lake!”  Then, I watched our chastised collogues face as it darkened with despair, all for no reason!

I pulled him aside, privately, and said, “You’ve done nothing wrong.  Please proceed with the preparations you’ve made.  You’ve done great work!” 

This good man taught me how to think differently than I would have ever considered before.  I learned that things can be done differently and still have great results.  He also taught me that we can all free ourselves from self-imposed cages with by allowing ourselves to see new opportunities, places and people, as well as some questions you and I can ask ourselves as we look to enrich our lives.

What can I learn from this person who is so different than me?

Is there a way I can do this differently and get as good of or a better result?

Is this way really wrong? Or, is it just different or new to me?

My daughter Jessi and I were on the phone together talking with our friend, Heather Coleman, offering her a new job opportunity in a large coastal city.  Heather was nervous about moving to one of the largest cities in the United States without knowing anyone and said, “I have to feel secure.  It’s important to me.  I’m going to be starting a new job already.  I’ve never really been anywhere else.” 

What I heard was, I’m like a bird looking out at an undiscovered world and am having trouble seeing past the familiar bars that I’m mistaking for a warm security blanket. 

My response?  Is it alright if I go there with you just to take a look?