Loving Life, Gaining Satisfaction

"I'm doing what I like to do, not what I have to do."

• Allen L. Smith
  

Loving Life, Gaining Satisfaction

I was in a meeting trying to concentrate on the matters at hand, when one of the men at the table made the comment, "I've retired now three times. I came out of retirement to do this because it's what I want to do; not what I have to do." With that statement, my whole focus shifted.

I was now listening for more wisdom to come out of his mouth. I wasn't disappointed.

"The primary purpose of life is to help mankind." Allen said a few minutes later.

I've spent the better part of two weeks just thinking about what he said and wondering how many of us really understand what he was saying. Do I?

I was sitting at another table with a teen aged boy less than a week later. I was getting to know him. "What is it you'd like to do more than anything else in the world?" I asked.

He was having some trouble and I wanted to know what he really wanted to do with his life. I didn't want to know what he thought I wanted to hear and I didn't want to know if he could recite what his parents wanted him to do with his life.

He didn't have an answer right off. I think he was caught off guard.

"What are you willing to give your life to? I continued.

"I want to help people." He replied.

"Everyone says that." I said. "That's not enough! It's too vague. What I really want to know is what you want so much that you won't let anyone or anything stand in your way as you work to get it."I persisted.

"I always thought I wanted to play in the NBA." He said.

"That's not true! You let yourself get kicked off the school team this year. So, you didn't really want it. You were pretending to want it."

He looked across the table at me with a thoughtful stare. I could see the answer working from deep inside his mind and heart getting ready to crystallize and reveal itself.

"I want to be a doctor!"

There it was. He knew what he wanted all along, but he didn't know what to do to get there. So we spent the next hour or so creating a plan with steps he could take to get there. I watched the excitement build inside of him as his map to become a doctor grew before his eyes. It's a wondrous thing to watch an idea change the world!

As I drove him home I had to ask myself, "Are you doing what you really want to do with your life?" I looked at the young man in the seat across from me and answered with an emphatic, "Yes." Many times we don't get paid money to do what we really want to do. Our pay is something much more valuable than that. It's a deep sense of satisfaction that can't be obtained in any other way.

Moosages

"Moooooo!"

• The Pillsbury Dough Girl
  

Moosages

It's the first snowy morning of the season! It's real cold outside with blowing snow. I know it's time to get up and out of bed, but I'm not really feeling it. I don't want to leave the warm comfort of my bed and I definitely don't want to go outside, so I just pull up the covers and close my eyes to savor the comfort. But, my bliss isn't long lived!

A noise begins to tickle my ears. It's faint at first; but it grows in frequency and volume quickly.

"Moo. Mooo. MOOOOO!"

I know what it is immediately. It's a moosage.

The Pillsbury Dough Girl is telling me that it's time for her breakfast. I roll my eyes contemplating my situation. I never dreamed that I'd be taking orders from a fat cow at this stage of my life! But I've learned a lot from the personal moosages delivered by my cow. Today's moosage is about learning to be selfless.

This is a lesson that isn't a very easy lesson to learn for most of us and my experience is that most people can't learn it without making a strong commitment to a personal principle or to someone else. It's that commitment that makes us see beyond ourselves and expand beyond our present capacity. Such stretching doesn't come all at once, it comes a little at a time. It comes mostly because we have no idea of the growth we're about to bring upon ourselves.

After all, when we make the largest commitments in our lives our vision isn't real clear. We're blinded by the fact that, "it's just such a cute little calf and it's so adorable." We know that it will grow in to a huge, hay gobbling cow, but we just can't see it at the time due to the excitement of the moment.

For example, when I purchased this cow I never took the time to consider the genesis of the traditional cow name, "Old Bossy." Oops, I'm sure I have that wrong, I think it's "Old Bessie." But I'm pretty sure I've heard of another cow named "Bossy the Cow." Oh, never mind, you get the point; that's my cow's nick name now.

I hear her calling. I'm not happy about having to go out into the cold. Still, the moosage is clear: next time you find yourself doing something you don't want to do, but you're doing it because of the commitment you've made or because of your love for the other person, know that you're stretching to become a better person as a result. Then, get a little smile on your face knowing that you've got it better than I do. At least you're not being bossed around by a cow!

Overcoming Obstacles

"There was something in the road."

• Annie Butterfield
  

Overcoming Obstacles

My daughter Annie is in the process of learning to drive and a couple of nights ago, just after she had driven home from the barn where she was riding, she told me that she'd seen a pile of dirt in the road. "It wasn't a large pile and I knew it wouldn't be a problem for me or the car so I just drove right over it." She had done the right thing in not allowing an insignificant obstacle to slow her down and it reminded me of the old saying, "Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill."

Many times, a person without a lot of driving experience will see a small mound of dirt in the road and panic; not knowing what to do. That can cause a whole new chain of events that may prove to be of much greater danger than the one originally faced!

Sometimes, even those of us with a lot of experience find small bumps in the road of life that tend to derail us. I've found this to be true in my work; especially when I'm faced with a task that I don't really want to do or that will take a great deal of time and effort. It's not that I don't know what to do, or that I can't do the work, it's just that my mind begins to grow the task into what appears to be a huge mountain that I can't possibly climb. And, that alone causes a chain of events that can become a much larger problem than the task itself!

I was thinking that if I faced this issue, you may face it at times as well so here are some steps that I've found to be helpful:

First, I try to recognize that I've become trapped in front of a "gopher hill." (I use the term gopher hill because I'm involved in a war with gophers in my yard and they've become the bane of my life!) I also use that term because their mounds are instructive to describe what I think is happening. A gopher mound has a sort of semi circular shape. So, if I was very small and stood in front of it, I could easily believe that I had become encircled without a way to escape. I must recognize that what in my mind appears to be true is simply an illusion.

Second, I've found that my largest hurdle is always just getting started. Once I begin to work on the task, that has been overwhelming me, I find that it isn't nearly as daunting as I had imagined. Since I know this about myself I've posted a sign in my office that says, "It's the job that isn't started that takes the longest to complete."

Finally, once I start I make sure I stay the course and focus on the task to get it knocked out and put it behind me. When I've completed it I allow myself to feel the relief and warm sense of accomplishment. That's also when I remind myself that I'll see many other gopher mounds in my life and that I am skilled at not letting them derail me.

As I keep following these steps I hope to become more and more like Annie. I hope to see a small bump in the road and just drive on past it as if it doesn't exist. And, I hope that what you see in your life will be small bumps as well!

Become Invisible

"I told him it was kind of him to come and he said it isn't kind. It's who I am."

• Jeff Barton
  

Become Invisible

This is a tale of two men. One is the CEO of a major global corporation. One is a company courier who has delivered the newspaper to the CEO for many years. One man travels the world and has shoulders broad enough to carry the weight of heavy responsibility. One man travels the corridors of the corporate headquarters. On the surface their lives have little in common; one is highly visible, larger than life, while the other lives a life of simplicity and virtual invisibility. But, there is more than one kind of invisibility.

The first type of invisibility is the type that would lead individuals to think that they aren't important in the total scheme of things. It leads all of us to question our individual worth at one time or another. It makes us wonder if anyone notices or cares about us. It is a perceived lack of relationship or connection. It is the possible invisibility of the individual.

The second type of is invisibility of separation. It is the invisibility between what a person says they are and the way they act. It is also the lack of barrier between people; the integrity of conviction.

In this tale it would be easy see potential barriers between the two men, to believe in the invisibility of one individual. But, in this case it would be wrong!

The Courier had delivered the newspaper to the CEO for these many years in a quiet and unassuming way and when he reached an age of greater than seventy years he decided to retire. So, the company planned a retirement party for him and invited everyone to come; including the busy CEO. Who, I suspect, most didn't expect to come. But, come he did!

And, when my friend Jeff Barton had the chance to talk with the CEO at the celebration, he said, "It's kind of you to come." To which the CEO replied, "It's not kind, it's who I am!"

So, I wonder who you and I are. Are we the kind of people who live a life of invisibility or are we the kind of people who live a life of invisibility?

Do we think that we don't matter? Do we think that what we say and do doesn't matter? If your answer is yes, then reflect on this tale again and again until you make the determination to be sure that you have this same integrity of conviction; the desire to remove all barriers between you and others as well as between what you say and what you do. When you do, you'll discover your own greatness as well as your ability to make a great difference in the world. So, will you please join me in becoming more invisible today?

The Greatest Revolution

"My father was a soldier in Mao's army."

• Marshall Ding
  

The Greatest Revolution

I was sitting at a table in a large, beautiful house in Holladay, Utah. Holladay is an upscale neighborhood in the Salt Lake City area; I was in the same neighborhood where at least one NBA player lives. In fact, the player's back yard shares a fence with the yard of the house in which I was sitting. The owner of the house was sitting across the table from me and I was getting to know him.

He's Chinese. I knew that. I could tell that he wasn't "Chinese American" because of his accent. He wasn't speaking Native American English. But the English he was speaking was very good and I could tell he'd been in the United States for a long time. I just didn't know how long yet.

I also knew he'd been in the USA for quite a while because his son was sitting not far from us. His manner was American. His dress was American. He was a typical American Teenager; his eyes rarely left the floor and he didn't say much. He was getting ready to have a bit-to-eat and then study.

I was studying his father. I listened to what he was saying. I was dazzled by his story.

He had come to the United States at the age of 27, just after he completed Chinese Medical School. He was skilled in the arts of natural healing. He has a medical practice in the Salt Lake Area. He has done well for himself.

"I'm living the American Dream," he said to me.

"My father was a soldier in Mao's army. I came here because I wanted to be free to pursue my dreams. I wanted my children to grow up here. I've done well."

"The thing is," he paused for a moment.

"The thing is, all you have to do is work hard, save your money, and make good decisions. That's all I've done. It's what all of the immigrants I know do. I've talked with immigrants from Russia and all over Eastern Europe. There are a lot of them here. They all ask me the same question, "Why don't the people who live here get it?"

"Get what?" I replied.

"Why don't they understand what the American Dream means?" He said. "My father fought for his dream and that's why I've been able to get a good education and provide well for my family. He, along with the others he fought with, believed that revolution meant that you could never stop changing and learning. You have to continue to work to become the best person you can be."

I could tell he felt very deeply about what he was saying to me. His words sank deep into my heart. I can still hear them vibrating throughout my body. They're repeating themselves within me as, "My personal revolution means that I can never stop changing and learning. I must continue to work to become the best person I can be."

After all, that's the greatest revolution. It's the greatest discovery: You and I can change our circumstances by what we think, do and then achieve. So join the personal revolution, reach within yourself and discover your ability to create a wonderful future again and again.

Have Your Ice Cream and Eat it Too

"He died at ninety-two, about a week after he got his diploma"

• Brent Sutherland
  

Have Your Ice Cream and Eat it Too

When I was in college I discovered an ice cream parlor that had the best ice cream I'd ever had. It was famous, iconic business on 2100 South Street in Salt Lake City called Snelgrove's. Everyone in town knew about it and recognized its huge ice cream cone sign as marking a place where you would receive superb service and exquisite ice cream made with the best ingredients available from family recipes.

It was created in 1928 by the Snelgrove family and by the time I discovered it, the business was moving into its third generation. But Laird Snelgrove, its second generation steward, was still actively involved in the day to day business. He knew every detail of the operation and treated every person working with him as a member of the family. And, he knew what "family" meant.

As a young man Laird enrolled in college at Utah State University. While he was in Logan studying, his father, the founder of Snelgrove's Ice Cream, called him home because he needed him to help run the business. And, without hesitation, Laird returned home and threw himself into the business.

He learned all he could learn from his father and worked tirelessly. By the time his father passed away Laird knew the business inside and out and had developed relationships with all of its customers. The business was a major part of his life, but it wasn't his whole life. He had made a commitment to himself to finish college so pressed on to get his degree.

Every small business owner knows how much time and effort is required to maintain and grow a business and Laird's commitment to complete college was tested. He took classes when he could, grew his business, raised his family and became an icon in his community. He never retired from his role in any of these areas of his life.

In fact, when he was ninety-two years old he completed his college degree at Brigham Young University to become the oldest graduate in school history! When he attended commencement he didn't attend alone. He was surrounded by his wife, children, grandchildren, business associates, employees and friends. He was surrounded by all the people in his life that he'd been teaching and mentoring over many years.

His graduation is the perfect example of how a person is a student and a teacher throughout life. His graduation is the perfect example what it means to be dedicated to personal dreams and goals while focusing on the important relationships in life.

So, if you've ever gotten to the point where you feel as if you're too old or too busy to do what you want with your life, don't give up. Just stop of a minute and remember that Laird Snelgrove received his college degree at ninety-two, spent the following week giving advice to his employees and then passed away having been true to himself and his family. Who said you can't have your cake; I mean ice cream and eat it too?

Compounding Steps

"I do a lot, but it doesn't seem to amount to much."

• Marv Shafer
  

Compounding Steps

It's easy to forget. Sometimes I need photographs to nudge my memory. I stare at the photo wall in my house and see images of what was hanging there. There are three little girls covered in bubbles sitting joyfully together in a big jetted tub, all giggling. Now, these same girls would be hard pressed to sit in the same small tub! Same girls, same tub, but a lot of water has passed through the tub since that photo was taken.

I look at the photo again and wonder when those little girls grew up. I know they did because I can see the change, but I don't remember them turning to women over night! That's the way it feels.

I look across another room and see my friend Marv talking. "I do a lot, but it doesn't seem to amount to much," He says.

My mind passes through a portal where I see my first daughter beginning to take her first steps. I feel the warm rush of memory envelope my entire body as I reengage with the excitement of her first small steps. She did a lot and those steps didn't really amount to much, but the excitement I felt was genuine. I knew it was the dawn of great progress.

Her progress came step by step, bump by bump. What I tend to forget is that before she could walk easily without falling down she crashed a lot. She also got up a lot. Now, after many years, she gets up easily and rarely falls down and when I watch her now, it's easy to forget those first small steps.

Why is it that we can't remember the importance of first steps? Why don't we allow ourselves to be impressed with the small steps we continually take each day? Why do we think we should be able to take one small step today and then run a marathon tomorrow? When I break a marathon down into pieces it's plain to see that it's only completed after a huge number of small steps, not one twenty-six mile step. I don't know of anyone who can take one step like that!

I'm sure you don't know anyone who can take one step that big either! So, perhaps you can give yourself permission to be a small child again. Take one step and then allow yourself to be impressed! Know that you'll fall down. Know that you'll receive some bumps and bruises along the way. Also know that if you just keep getting up and taking more steps you'll get where you want to be. It simply takes time and continued effort.

I know that the time it takes to reach your desired destination is sometimes hard to deal with because it's easy to forget where you came from. I'm sure you're like me and need to give your memory a little nudge from time to time. You need to be able to see the progress you've made.

Photographs are a great tool for this. I have a couple of photos that really help me when I feel stuck. They're old photos of me as a young child. When I don't think what I've done amounts to much, I pull those aged photos out and look at them. They allow me to see the truth.

I've grown and accomplished a lot. You have too, so don't be fooled! Look at your aged photos and then feel the warmth of remembered accomplishments rush through your body again and again. It'll get you excited for your next first steps!